"I'm sorry, Billy," she wheezed, gurgled, husked, and grunted. "Your friend died."

[Dr. Drib]

I made that one up, but have you read anything that's so ridiculous you pitied the poor author?

Get the idea? he gurgled.

It doesn't have to be dialog. Description, perhaps....Or anything that wets your chewing gum. But something so unintentionally hilarious that you had to laugh in embarrassment for the author. Or threw the ebook reader across the room in hopes of breaking the substrate.

ADDED: For FUN reading, I highly recommend Gun in Cheek and Son of Gun in Cheek, by the inimitable Bill Pronzini.

[neil_swann80]

I always found all the ejaculating in Sherlock Holmes incredibly amusing.

[Sirtel]

Originally Posted by neil_swann80

I always found all the ejaculating in Sherlock Holmes incredibly amusing.

Shh... this is a family-friendly site!

[Deskisamess]

"Willow allowed Austin to take her hand and lead her through the splintered door, revealing his desperation to find her. The image acted like a gentle breath on the spark in her heart."

I literally laughed out loud when I read that.

[neil_swann80]

"It was about as distinctive as the most distinctive thing you could ever think of."

[Dazrin]

I never had the displeasure to read this book, but around the time I joined MR, this was going around:

"Don and Katy watched hypnotically Gino place more coffees out at another table with supreme balance."

[Dr. Drib]

Originally Posted by Dazrin

I never had the displeasure to read this book, but around the time I joined MR, this was going around:

"Don and Katy watched hypnotically Gino place more coffees out at another table with supreme balance."

That one is barely literate.

[Dazrin]

Apparently the book was full of those and the author thought they were fine. Didn't see anything wrong with it and was very vocal about that. There was a very public meltdown around it too.

[JSWolf]

Everybody Ejaculates

https://electricliterature.com/clima...re-tom-comitta

You have to give this a read. It's very funny.

If you read almost any pre-WWI novel, you’ll find liberal use of the word “ejaculated” in moments of intense dialogue. Prior to the early 1900s, authors often used it to denote an exclamation; in the words of the OED, to ejaculate can mean “to utter suddenly.” This literary supercut repurposes these sudden utterances from 35 novels including The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Anne of Green Gables, The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, and Riders of the Purple Sage.

[Dr. Drib]

Here you go - a special treat for people who have contributed to this thread: This is possibly the worst novel ever written, but also the most unintentionally hilarious novel as well:

Dale Courtney - Moon People

Below is what probably serves as a Prologue of the novel:

This story focuses on one man by the name of David Braymer and his adventures as 1st Science Officer on the Lunar Base 1 mobile base station. One of three base stations in obit around Earth. This book is based on the turning point for Earth into a new era of space travel and the beginning of the “Age of Aquarius“. David also has a romance with one of the locals in New Smyrna Beach, Fla. Her name is Cheral Baskel a local restaurant owner. Now during David’s experiences he encounters some alien life forms, some friendly, some not so friendly throughout the universe. David also experiences Earths first space battle and he ends up saving Earth and our new friends. We start our story in the year 2048 when Earth has an aggressive space program. They have just completed two large mobile base stations called Lunar Base 1, 2, and are almost finished with the third base station called Lunar Base 3. They are an eighth of a mile long and about sixteenth of a mile in diameter. They also have one very big surprise. All three ships split into three independent working sections. In addition, all three sections have lasers and rockets and their own engine. They also have shields that are a liquid that turns into a solid mass as hard as 4 inches of steel, when exposed to the cold of space. They have a couple of lounges where everyone goes for fun. Now on their missions they encounter some new friends called the Powleens. They are very friendly and eventually they join Earth and save Earth together. The Powleens are very tall, about seven feet to eight feet on average their legs and arms and torso are elongated also their neck. However, they are humanoid and angels from heaven to Earth.


https://www.amazon.com/Moon-People-D...s%2C299&sr=8-1

And check out this site:
https://nigelgmitchell.blogspot.com/...by-dale-m.html

[Dr. Drib]

Originally Posted by Deskisamess

"Willow allowed Austin to take her hand and lead her through the splintered door, revealing his desperation to find her. The image acted like a gentle breath on the spark in her heart."

I literally laughed out loud when I read that.

But wait!!!

What is the difference between laughing and literally laughing?

I mean, can one figuratively laugh?

(Just pulling your string.)

[Sirtel]

Originally Posted by Dr. Drib

Here you go - a special treat for people who have contributed to this thread: This is possibly the worst novel ever written, but also the most unintentionally hilarious novel as well:

Dale Courtney - Moon People

Also take a look at the reviews: some of them are even more hilarious than the book itself.

[Deskisamess]

Originally Posted by Dr. Drib

But wait!!!

What is the difference between laughing and literally laughing?

I mean, can one figuratively laugh?

(Just pulling your string.)

I basically ejaculated a laugh.

You know, when you're reading Wodehouse or Robert Benchley, you expect to laugh. Those sentences caught me totally off guard. Totally guffaw inducing.

[Dr. Drib]

Originally Posted by Deskisamess

I basically ejaculated a laugh.

You know, when you're reading Wodehouse or Robert Benchley, you expect to laugh. Those sentences caught me totally off guard. Totally guffaw inducing.

Oh, I understand!

Perhaps there was a guffaw or two combined with that laugh? Regardless, I'm standing clear!!

[Dr. Drib]

Originally Posted by JSWolf

Everybody Ejaculates

https://electricliterature.com/clima...re-tom-comitta

You have to give this a read. It's very funny.

I"ll check out this site today and see what it's all about.

Thanks!