Unutterably Silly Tales of Gratuitous Dumbness

[Fledchen]

When I was 8 years old, I wanted to play in the lilac hedge behind the garden. There was a hollow bit inside the hedge, and when it was fully green with leaves, being inside it was like having a little fairy hideaway. My mother absolutely forbade me to play in there because I was likely to get scratched up by the branches or ruin my clothes.

Of course, I played in there anyway, and while I didn't scratch up my skin or rip my clothes, I did slice open my cornea. I do not recommend slicing open your cornea, it hurts a lot.

Now, most children probably would have decided not to play in the hedge again after such a painful lesson. I, unfortunately, was not very bright about such things , and still played in the hedge.

And sliced open my cornea again!

The funny thing is, this is my "good" eye. My left eye, which has not been hacked at by shrubbery, needs a prescription that's 2 diopters worse. Maybe I should start marketing Lilac LASIK?

[lilac_jive]

Originally Posted by Fledchen

When I was 8 years old, I wanted to play in the lilac hedge behind the garden. There was a hollow bit inside the hedge, and when it was fully green with leaves, being inside it was like having a little fairy hideaway. My mother absolutely forbade me to play in there because I was likely to get scratched up by the branches or ruin my clothes.

Of course, I played in there anyway, and while I didn't scratch up my skin or rip my clothes, I did slice open my cornea. I do not recommend slicing open your cornea, it hurts a lot.

Now, most children probably would have decided not to play in the hedge again after such a painful lesson. I, unfortunately, was not very bright about such things , and still played in the hedge.

And sliced open my cornea again

The funny thing is, this is my "good" eye. My left eye, which has not been hacked at by shrubbery, needs a prescription that's 2 diopters worse. Maybe I should start marketing Lilac LASIK?

OWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by Nate the great

There was the time when I was 9, and I thought it would be neat to shave off my eyebrows.

There was the time I slid down a banister into a nail, and ended up in the emergency room.

There was the time I was prying 2 boards apart and hit myself between the eyes with one, and ended up in the emergency room.

There was a period of time when I was 8 when I experimented with removing my hand from the edge of the door after closing it.

There was the time someone said "Nate, catch" and I didn't, and I ended up in the emergency room.

There was the time I was riding on my bicycle and ran into a fire hydrant.

There was the time I was riding on my bicycle and ran into a concrete trash can.

There was the time I was riding on my bicycle and ran into a parked car.

There was the time I was riding on my bicycle and ran into a building. (Needless to say, I wasn't the most observant child.)

"What doesn't kill me will only make me stronger." Bloody hell, you must be SUPERMAN!

Originally Posted by acprinter

...
Moral of the story; take your time and be safe.

Damn, I guessed wrong. I thought it was "Always carry a digital camera".

Cheers,
Marc

[yvanleterrible]

One summer I borrowed my kid brother's 100cc trail bike for a joyride instead of my chopper. I had the brilliant idea to go in the front neighbor's cornfield, thinking that the corn being so high he wouldn't see me and protest.
I'll tell you a stalk of corm is just like a cement post... at 40 miles an hour. What a flight! I came out of the field all cut up by the corn leaves, but laughing like crazy. My brother wasn't...
He got the use of my chopper for the next week... while I got his bike repaired.

[Format C:]

Originally Posted by Nate the great

There was the time when I was 9, and I thought it would be neat to shave off my eyebrows.

CHECK

There was the time I slid down a banister into a nail, and ended up in the emergency room.

MISS

There was the time I was prying 2 boards apart and hit myself between the eyes with one, and ended up in the emergency room.

CHECK

There was a period of time when I was 8 when I experimented with removing my hand from the edge of the door after closing it.

CHECK

There was the time someone said "Nate, catch" and I didn't, and I ended up in the emergency room.

CHECK

There was the time I was riding on my bicycle and ran into a fire hydrant.

CHECK (we have hydrants below street level, here, so I used a phone booth instead...)

There was the time I was riding on my bicycle and ran into a concrete trash can.

CHECK (I was going down from an hill, and halfway I remembered I had no brakes...)

There was the time I was riding on my bicycle and ran into a parked car.

CHECK

There was the time I was riding on my bicycle and ran into a building.

CHECK

(Needless to say, I wasn't the most observant child.)

CHECK!

Are we parted twins?



At 4 I found that my father forgot his razor on the sink... and ended up in emergency room.

From 5 to 11, my school-mates used to kid me because of my freckles (It was Italy, not Ireland).
I tried to get rid of them (the freckles...) with ammonia, bleach, sandpaper, various kind of solvent...

At 12 I played indoor soccer, using my mom's paintings as target and her plants as team-mates.

At 13, when a bunch of bullies in their late teens came at the soccer field to chase us away, I didn't fly with my friends and stayed challenging them all.

At 15, being at school without teacher, we made a competition trying to strike passers-by with tipp-ex bottles, giving a score to each one. Policemen had the highest score, and I won by large...



As an adult, I became really stupid....

[lilac_jive]

Originally Posted by Format C:

Are we parted twins?



At 4 I found that my father forgot his razor on the sink... and ended up in emergency room.

From 5 to 11, my school-mates used to kid me because of my freckles (It was Italy, not Ireland).
I tried to get rid of them (the freckles...) with ammonia, bleach, sandpaper, various kind of solvent...

At 12 I played indoor soccer, using my mom's paintings as target and her plants as team-mates.

At 13, when a bunch of bullies in their late teens came at the soccer field to chase us away, I didn't fly with my friends and stayed challenging them all.

At 15, being at school without teacher, we made a competition trying to strike passers-by with tipp-ex bottles, giving a score to each one. Policemen had the highest score, and I won by large...



As an adult, I became really stupid....

I did the razor thing, ouch.

You were close with the freckles. Lemon juice would have worked

[DixieGal]

You guys are nuts! The subtitle of this thread should be: He Does All of His Own Stunts

[lilac_jive]

Originally Posted by DixieGal

You guys are nuts! The subtitle of this thread should be: He Does All of His Own Stunts

[yvanleterrible]

I'm also the guy who regularly violently rubs his noze in the patio bugscreen door to bounce back in the house.

Darn glasses!

The worst of it is explaining the scab to EVERY DAMN FOOL WHO GETS IN THE WAY!