Silliness Tales of Gratuitous Dumbness - Page 2

Nate the great · 02-05-2009, 05:15 PM

I have no idea how I survived my childhood.

NatCh · 02-05-2009, 05:18 PM

I have no idea how any of us survived our childhoods! I mean we didn't have padded walls, or hand sanitizer, or toys with no small parts, or ....

DixieGal · 02-05-2009, 05:23 PM

Nate, I think I work with your mother. My co-worker has 4 sons, and I've never known another soul to be happier than her to have her children grow up. She spent half her life in the ER with those rowdy boys! Now she claims that she personally financed one of the walls when they remodelled down there!

desertgrandma · 02-05-2009, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NatCh

I have no idea how any of us survived our childhoods! I mean we didn't have padded walls, or hand sanitizer, or toys with no small parts, or ....

We never used seatbelts, or car seats.(we're talking the 50's here)

we wandered the neighborhood alone, left the house on a Saturday morning with just a 'see ya tonight ma!', never saying where we'd be..

We piled kids into the back of a pick-up and took them to the country.

We rode our bikes and scooters without helmets....

NatCh · 02-05-2009, 05:37 PM

I rode on the hood of a car a couple of times.

desertgrandma · 02-05-2009, 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NatCh

I rode on the hood of a car a couple of times.

Me too! Ah, the glorious 'stupid' years!

acprinter · 02-05-2009, 05:41 PM

The tale I am about to relate could have ended in disaster, but I will tell you up front I did survive and all my body parts are still attached.

The tale begins with me doing a minor home repair and using a table saw. I had rolled out my table saw into the driveway and was in to much hurry to make sure the saw stable and wheels locked. I had only one small cut to make; I needed a very slim piece of wood for my project. I made the cut and the slim piece of wood lay next to the blade jiggling around due to the saw not being stable; a very unsafe event. I stepped to the side of the saw to turn it off. At this point the saw started to roll forward causing the wood to bounce around more and all of a sudden the wood hit the turning blade kicking it back right into my privates.

Well the yell I gave out was heard buy two neighbors and my wife. The neighbors both female arrived before my wife. When they arrived I already had my pants down checking out how bad the damage was. Next to arrive was my wife seeing one of our neighbors kneeling down in front of me with my pants down with the other neighbor wearing only her bikini bottoms standing behind me with her arms wrapped around me. A little explanation here; neighbor No. 1 was a nurse and neighbor No. 2 was sunbathing in her back yard at the time.

A few minutes later next door husband drives up and sees this very odd scene; me with my pants down my wife a neighbor and his wife in bikini bottoms holding an ice pack on my privates. His response was to take a picture of us with his digital camera he was carrying. I had no lasting injury other than being very black and blue. What saved me from a very serious injury was a leather shop apron I always wear when in the workshop.

Of course they make sure I will never live that day down and to show every other neighbor who was not there the picture.

Moral of the story; take your time and be safe.

Barcey · 02-05-2009, 05:47 PM

I have many but here are two from my youth.

1) I don't know why I remember this but I think it's because I logically thought about it before I did something so stupid.

I was about 7 or 8 years old riding my bicycle and thinking about how the brakes worked. I had the brilliant idea that if the brakes ever failed I could create an emergency brake by holding by foot against the spokes. I decided I should test my theory because you wouldn't want to be trying it for the first time in an actual emergency. I don't remember actually cartwheeling the bicycle but according to my friends it was spectacular. I know that I broke about 5 spokes before the remaining spokes jammed my foot into the front forks. The worst part was trying to explain to my friends how I "accidently did it" because it sure looked like I did it on purpose. It was a long limp home carrying my bike.

2) I was riding a little 3 hp minibike with my cousin at my uncle's farm. There was a large bolt that held the handlebars onto the frame and the bolt came loose and fell out. The front wheel dropped forward and was only held in place by the cables. Instead of bailing off I looked over at my cousin and said, "Cool a chopper" and I opened the throttle. Luckily it only went about 20mph I hit a rock, the wheel fell the rest of the way, the bike stopped but I didn't. My cousin still laughs about that one.

It reminds me of the joke, "What's the last thing the red neck said before he died?". "Heh, guys watch this!!"

Nate the great · 02-05-2009, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NatCh

I have no idea how any of us survived our childhoods! I mean we didn't have padded walls, or hand sanitizer, or toys with no small parts, or ....

True, but my childhood resembles a series of suicide attempts. Does yours?

bwaldron · 02-05-2009, 06:06 PM

Well, there was the time I drove 50 miles away to a ball game and had a heck of a time dealing with traffic and getting a parking space. In my relief on finally getting parked, I had a brain cramp, got out of the car and locked the door behind me with the keys in the ignition and the car still running.

MMascaro · 02-05-2009, 06:13 PM

As with Nate, mine happened when I was allot younger(12 and my brother was 11).
We took a sailors outfit, Frankenstein mask, ascot, gloves, boots and wig and made a dummy. Stuck a knife in it with some ketchup on it and left it on the couch. My father came home, a little tipsy as usual, sees our freak on the couch and screams load enough to be heard 4 blocks away.

Not satisfied at being grounded for 2 week in our 3rd floor bedroom, my brother and I decided to throw the dummy out the 3rd floor window right behind an old lady walking down the street. We where lucky she did not have a heart attack and only got grounded for an additional 4 weeks

NatCh · 02-05-2009, 06:32 PM

That's a great one, MMascaro!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nate the great

True, but my childhood resembles a series of suicide attempts. Does yours?

Well, mine might be more fairly characterized as a mix of suicide and homicide (I was in Scouts for a lot of years) attempts -- all unintentional, of course.

Nate the great · 02-05-2009, 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NatCh

Well, mine might be more fairly characterized as a mix of suicide and homicide (I was in Scouts for a lot of years) attempts -- all unintentional, of course.

Nate the great · 02-05-2009, 06:38 PM

is when I got pissy last week because MobileRead wasn't invited to next week's Amazon event. It was stupid becuase now I'm going.

Laz116 · 02-05-2009, 06:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pdurrant

Does it count if you do the same dumb thing for four years in a row?

I hated doing sports at school, but we had a yearly sports day, and everyone had to do something.

I always put down for the steeplechase, as then I didn't need to do anything until sports day itself - no heats for the steeplechase - and that way I thought, avoided it as much as possible. I certainly tried to think about it as little as possible.

It wasn't until a couple of years later that I finally twigged what I had been doing wrong.

I'm sure you've all seen it.

Yes, what I /should/ have done was put myself down for (say) the discus and get quickly eliminated in the first heat, way before sports day. Doh!

Is this you?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtRs8Sn2kMs
15 seconds in...

02-05-2009, 06:38 PM	#29
Nate the great Sir Penguin of Edinburgh Posts: 12,375 Karma: 23555235 Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: DC Metro area Device: Shake a stick plus 1	my latest example of stupidity... is when I got pissy last week because MobileRead wasn't invited to next week's Amazon event. It was stupid becuase now I'm going.

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02-05-2009, 05:15 PM	#16
Nate the great Sir Penguin of Edinburgh Posts: 12,375 Karma: 23555235 Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: DC Metro area Device: Shake a stick plus 1	I have no idea how I survived my childhood.

02-05-2009, 05:18 PM	#17
NatCh Gizmologist Posts: 11,615 Karma: 929550 Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Republic of Texas Embassy at Jackson, TN Device: Pocketbook Touch HD3	I have no idea how any of us survived our childhoods! I mean we didn't have padded walls, or hand sanitizer, or toys with no small parts, or ....

02-05-2009, 05:23 PM	#18
DixieGal Hi There! Posts: 7,473 Karma: 2930523 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Ft Lauderdale Device: iPad	Nate, I think I work with your mother. My co-worker has 4 sons, and I've never known another soul to be happier than her to have her children grow up. She spent half her life in the ER with those rowdy boys! Now she claims that she personally financed one of the walls when they remodelled down there!

02-05-2009, 05:37 PM	#20
NatCh Gizmologist Posts: 11,615 Karma: 929550 Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Republic of Texas Embassy at Jackson, TN Device: Pocketbook Touch HD3	I rode on the hood of a car a couple of times.

02-05-2009, 05:41 PM	#22
acprinter Groupie Posts: 163 Karma: 3141364 Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: California Gold Country Device: Paperwhite 11th generation	The tale I am about to relate could have ended in disaster, but I will tell you up front I did survive and all my body parts are still attached. The tale begins with me doing a minor home repair and using a table saw. I had rolled out my table saw into the driveway and was in to much hurry to make sure the saw stable and wheels locked. I had only one small cut to make; I needed a very slim piece of wood for my project. I made the cut and the slim piece of wood lay next to the blade jiggling around due to the saw not being stable; a very unsafe event. I stepped to the side of the saw to turn it off. At this point the saw started to roll forward causing the wood to bounce around more and all of a sudden the wood hit the turning blade kicking it back right into my privates. Well the yell I gave out was heard buy two neighbors and my wife. The neighbors both female arrived before my wife. When they arrived I already had my pants down checking out how bad the damage was. Next to arrive was my wife seeing one of our neighbors kneeling down in front of me with my pants down with the other neighbor wearing only her bikini bottoms standing behind me with her arms wrapped around me. A little explanation here; neighbor No. 1 was a nurse and neighbor No. 2 was sunbathing in her back yard at the time. A few minutes later next door husband drives up and sees this very odd scene; me with my pants down my wife a neighbor and his wife in bikini bottoms holding an ice pack on my privates. His response was to take a picture of us with his digital camera he was carrying. I had no lasting injury other than being very black and blue. What saved me from a very serious injury was a leather shop apron I always wear when in the workshop. Of course they make sure I will never live that day down and to show every other neighbor who was not there the picture. Moral of the story; take your time and be safe.

02-05-2009, 05:47 PM	#23
Barcey Wizard Posts: 1,531 Karma: 8059866 Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Canada Device: Kobo H2O / Aura HD / Glo / iPad3	I have many but here are two from my youth. 1) I don't know why I remember this but I think it's because I logically thought about it before I did something so stupid. I was about 7 or 8 years old riding my bicycle and thinking about how the brakes worked. I had the brilliant idea that if the brakes ever failed I could create an emergency brake by holding by foot against the spokes. I decided I should test my theory because you wouldn't want to be trying it for the first time in an actual emergency. I don't remember actually cartwheeling the bicycle but according to my friends it was spectacular. I know that I broke about 5 spokes before the remaining spokes jammed my foot into the front forks. The worst part was trying to explain to my friends how I "accidently did it" because it sure looked like I did it on purpose. It was a long limp home carrying my bike. 2) I was riding a little 3 hp minibike with my cousin at my uncle's farm. There was a large bolt that held the handlebars onto the frame and the bolt came loose and fell out. The front wheel dropped forward and was only held in place by the cables. Instead of bailing off I looked over at my cousin and said, "Cool a chopper" and I opened the throttle. Luckily it only went about 20mph I hit a rock, the wheel fell the rest of the way, the bike stopped but I didn't. My cousin still laughs about that one. It reminds me of the joke, "What's the last thing the red neck said before he died?". "Heh, guys watch this!!"

02-05-2009, 06:06 PM	#25
bwaldron Wizard Posts: 1,229 Karma: 543210 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Gatlinburg, Tennessee Device: Kindles: Paperwhite Signature Ed., Oasis 2, Voyage	Well, there was the time I drove 50 miles away to a ball game and had a heck of a time dealing with traffic and getting a parking space. In my relief on finally getting parked, I had a brain cramp, got out of the car and locked the door behind me with the keys in the ignition and the car still running.

02-05-2009, 06:13 PM	#26
MMascaro Zealot Posts: 111 Karma: 1009 Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Maryland USA Device: HP mini 1035/Sony Reader/IPad	As with Nate, mine happened when I was allot younger(12 and my brother was 11). We took a sailors outfit, Frankenstein mask, ascot, gloves, boots and wig and made a dummy. Stuck a knife in it with some ketchup on it and left it on the couch. My father came home, a little tipsy as usual, sees our freak on the couch and screams load enough to be heard 4 blocks away. Not satisfied at being grounded for 2 week in our 3rd floor bedroom, my brother and I decided to throw the dummy out the 3rd floor window right behind an old lady walking down the street. We where lucky she did not have a heart attack and only got grounded for an additional 4 weeks