Silliness Tales of Gratuitous Dumbness

NatCh · 02-05-2009, 11:32 AM

I thought this group might be able to tell some particularly stunning stories on themselves: you know, moments when you did something extraordinarily dumb?

For example:

Back in '85 (I was 14, which explains some of the dumbness), I went with my mother to France for two weeks -- she had a scholarship to study there for a month (she taught French, you see), so the costs of taking me were low enough to be manageable.

Anyway, the last couple of days of the trip, we had returned to Paris after a week driving around the country, preparatory to the return flight to the states.

My mother left me in the hotel room while she went to do laundry. I was excited because this was the first TV I'd had access to in most of two weeks (14 years old, remember?).

The TV was one of those where the channels were changed by pushing down a button, one button per channel, and the last one would pop up as the next one was pressed -- like buttons on old style radios.

After a whopping two minutes, I accidentally pushed down two buttons at once, and they both went in and stayed until another button was pushed (the TV wasn't tuned to anything in this state).

You can probably figure out the rest of it -- it took me about half an hour of trying, but I finally managed to push down all the buttons at once (there were about 20 of them).

I basked in the glow of satisfaction from my epic accomplishment for all of fifteen seconds before it occurred to me that I had no buttons left to push to make them all pop back out.

Of course the worst part wasn't having to explain what I'd done to the hotel manager (who thought the whole thing was hilarious), the worst part was still not having any TV to watch ... and, of course feeling like a colossal idiot for having invested thirty minutes' concerted effort in depriving myself of that TV.

Anybody else got a story they want to tell on themselves?

Nate the great · 02-05-2009, 11:41 AM

Here is one:
http://www.drunkrepublic.com/index.p...umor&Itemid=60

lilac_jive · 02-05-2009, 11:45 AM

One time I went to put my window up in my car and it wouldn't go up. It had been acting funny for a while (getting stuck). I chipped the windshield trying to use pliers to get it up, to no avail. Called for an estimate ($100) and asked my mom if she could pay for it (I was like 16 at the time working part time at the mall and couldn't afford it) and she said no. Big fight started.

Then after an hour of this I realized the window lock was on. D'oh!

Bromoney · 02-05-2009, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilac_jive

One time I went to put my window up in my car and it wouldn't go up. It had been acting funny for a while (getting stuck). I chipped the windshield trying to use pliers to get it up, to no avail. Called for an estimate ($100) and asked my mom if she could pay for it (I was like 16 at the time working part time at the mall and couldn't afford it) and she said no. Big fight started.

Then after an hour of this I realized the window lock was on. D'oh!

LOL, happens to the best of us

NatCh · 02-05-2009, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nate the great

Here is one:
http://www.drunkrepublic.com/index.p...umor&Itemid=60

Oh! My SPLEEN!

That's one of the funniest things I've ever seen! I'm about to pass out from laughing!

Think they framed that receipt?

NatCh · 02-05-2009, 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilac_jive

Then after an hour of this I realized the window lock was on. D'oh!

I love it!

vivaldirules · 02-05-2009, 02:46 PM

My gratuitous dumb incidents are so vast that they defy enumeration (or remuneration). But few come to mind at the moment. I guess I do remember standing in the kitchen making something (I don't remember what) using the last three eggs I had on hand. I proceeded to crack an egg, toss its contents in the garbage, and put the shell in the bowl. Now, to do that once would be do no big deal. I'm sure many people have probably done that. But I did that with all three eggs before I noticed.

pdurrant · 02-05-2009, 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NatCh

I thought this group might be able to tell some particularly stunning stories on themselves: you know, moments when you did something extraordinarily dumb?

Does it count if you do the same dumb thing for four years in a row?

I hated doing sports at school, but we had a yearly sports day, and everyone had to do something.

I always put down for the steeplechase, as then I didn't need to do anything until sports day itself - no heats for the steeplechase - and that way I thought, avoided it as much as possible. I certainly tried to think about it as little as possible.

It wasn't until a couple of years later that I finally twigged what I had been doing wrong.

I'm sure you've all seen it.

Yes, what I /should/ have done was put myself down for (say) the discus and get quickly eliminated in the first heat, way before sports day. Doh!

DixieGal · 02-05-2009, 03:20 PM

I know better than to click on any link by EITHER Nate or Natch. I know better, because I've been fooled before. I clicked. I gasped. I laughed. I clicked "back" before someone saw it over my shoulder and I got fired.

Slayda, that is sooo funny! I wish you had a photo of your expression!

My clumsy goofy gaffs are frequent and daily. One in particular stands out, however. You see, Arby's doesn't put lids on cups. So I set my tray on a teensy table in a very crowded Arbys, then swung my big behind around to squeeze into the bench seat. (Cue beepbeepbeep warning sound of heavy machinery in reverse) As I orbited and shimmied to get into the seat, I tipped the large soda cup off the tray..... and right into the handbag of the woman at the next table. She grabbed the purse and ran for the bathroom, fishing stuff out of it all the way there. She was very gracious in accepting my many horrified apologies!

NatCh · 02-05-2009, 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DixieGal

I know better than to click on any link by EITHER Nate or Natch.

You besmirch my character, madam! What did I ever do?

Nate the great · 02-05-2009, 03:51 PM

Here's another:
http://www.copyright.gov/help/faq/fa...ect.html#elvis

DixieGal · 02-05-2009, 04:00 PM

I'm not clicking no more links until another of the girls says its safe!

slayda · 02-05-2009, 04:34 PM

I'll give you one but first I MUST give one on my sister-in-law and then one on my wife.

Sister-in-law, in here early twenties was pregnant for the first time. She had so much trouble with morning sickness that she couldn't even keep down the anti-nausea pills so the doctor gave her some anti-nausea suppositories. She had to call her mother to find out what to do with them. (Oh how I wish she had called me!)

Wife, some years ago when we first had two cars, my wife had a Malibu and she didn't work. As most of you know, Chevrolet used two different keys, one for the door and one for the ignition. After she locked herself out of her car the second time with the keys in the ignition, I had a second door key made for her to carry in her purse. I knew that women instinctively always grab their purse even if the keys are still in the ignition. Sure enough, a few weeks later, she called me at work to say she had locked herself out of her car again. I asked if she had her purse. She said, "Yes." I said, "So." She said, "So what." I said, "So don't you have the spare key in your purse?" She said, "Oh, bye."

Now me, It happened when I was just 11 years old. I had just read "Huck Finn" where he signed his name in blood. That seemed sooo cool & I wanted to do it. I made great preparations, got a safety pin for the puncture, some string to force the blood to the end of my finger, went outside and found a good seat on a stump in the front yard. I carefully wrapped the string arounf my left index finger, starting at the base. I opened the safety pin, sat on the stump, placed my left hand on my left thigh, pulled back and jabbed. However at the last minute I chickened out and jerked my finger out of the way, thus jabbing the pin deeply into my thigh.

Now I try (very hard) to think ahead to determine all consequences.

NatCh · 02-05-2009, 04:46 PM

I'm not sure you follow the idea here, Nate: you're supposed to tell stories on yourself -- though I'll go along with the notion that close associates/relatives are fair game.

In that vein, and reminded by Slayda's car key post:

I had a friend in college who locked herself out of her car (she apparently did this semi-regularly at the time) and asked me to give her a ride to the dealership to get it dealt with. They sent one of their tow-truck drivers to slim-jim it for her.

When she saw how easily he got it open with just that piece of metal, she exclaimed: "I should get one of those!"

To which I responded, "And just where would you keep it?"

She said, "I'd keep it in my ca-- ... you should get one of those."

I told her that I thought it would probably be illegal for me to do that, and that was the end of it, but I can still see the look on her face as what she was saying actually penetrated.

Nate the great · 02-05-2009, 05:05 PM

There was the time when I was 9, and I thought it would be neat to shave off my eyebrows.

There was the time I slid down a banister into a nail, and ended up in the emergency room.

There was the time I was prying 2 boards apart and hit myself between the eyes with one, and ended up in the emergency room.

There was a period of time when I was 8 when I experimented with removing my hand from the edge of the door after closing it.

There was the time someone said "Nate, catch" and I didn't, and I ended up in the emergency room.

There was the time I was riding on my bicycle and ran into a fire hydrant.

There was the time I was riding on my bicycle and ran into a concrete trash can.

There was the time I was riding on my bicycle and ran into a parked car.

There was the time I was riding on my bicycle and ran into a building. (Needless to say, I wasn't the most observant child.)

02-05-2009, 11:32 AM	#1
NatCh Gizmologist Posts: 11,615 Karma: 929550 Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Republic of Texas Embassy at Jackson, TN Device: Pocketbook Touch HD3	Tales of Gratuitous Dumbness I thought this group might be able to tell some particularly stunning stories on themselves: you know, moments when you did something extraordinarily dumb? For example: Back in '85 (I was 14, which explains some of the dumbness), I went with my mother to France for two weeks -- she had a scholarship to study there for a month (she taught French, you see), so the costs of taking me were low enough to be manageable. Anyway, the last couple of days of the trip, we had returned to Paris after a week driving around the country, preparatory to the return flight to the states. My mother left me in the hotel room while she went to do laundry. I was excited because this was the first TV I'd had access to in most of two weeks (14 years old, remember?). The TV was one of those where the channels were changed by pushing down a button, one button per channel, and the last one would pop up as the next one was pressed -- like buttons on old style radios. After a whopping two minutes, I accidentally pushed down two buttons at once, and they both went in and stayed until another button was pushed (the TV wasn't tuned to anything in this state). You can probably figure out the rest of it -- it took me about half an hour of trying, but I finally managed to push down all the buttons at once (there were about 20 of them). I basked in the glow of satisfaction from my epic accomplishment for all of fifteen seconds before it occurred to me that I had no buttons left to push to make them all pop back out. Of course the worst part wasn't having to explain what I'd done to the hotel manager (who thought the whole thing was hilarious), the worst part was still not having any TV to watch ... and, of course feeling like a colossal idiot for having invested thirty minutes' concerted effort in depriving myself of that TV. Anybody else got a story they want to tell on themselves?

02-05-2009, 03:20 PM	#9
DixieGal Hi There! Posts: 7,473 Karma: 2930523 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Ft Lauderdale Device: iPad	I know better than to click on any link by EITHER Nate or Natch. I know better, because I've been fooled before. I clicked. I gasped. I laughed. I clicked "back" before someone saw it over my shoulder and I got fired. Slayda, that is sooo funny! I wish you had a photo of your expression! My clumsy goofy gaffs are frequent and daily. One in particular stands out, however. You see, Arby's doesn't put lids on cups. So I set my tray on a teensy table in a very crowded Arbys, then swung my big behind around to squeeze into the bench seat. (Cue beepbeepbeep warning sound of heavy machinery in reverse) As I orbited and shimmied to get into the seat, I tipped the large soda cup off the tray..... and right into the handbag of the woman at the next table. She grabbed the purse and ran for the bathroom, fishing stuff out of it all the way there. She was very gracious in accepting my many horrified apologies! Last edited by DixieGal; 02-05-2009 at 03:26 PM.

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02-05-2009, 11:41 AM	#2
Nate the great Sir Penguin of Edinburgh Posts: 12,375 Karma: 23555235 Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: DC Metro area Device: Shake a stick plus 1	Here is one: http://www.drunkrepublic.com/index.p...umor&Itemid=60

02-05-2009, 11:45 AM	#3
lilac_jive Grand Sorcerer Posts: 5,870 Karma: 27376 Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Pennsylvania Device: PRS-505	One time I went to put my window up in my car and it wouldn't go up. It had been acting funny for a while (getting stuck). I chipped the windshield trying to use pliers to get it up, to no avail. Called for an estimate ($100) and asked my mom if she could pay for it (I was like 16 at the time working part time at the mall and couldn't afford it) and she said no. Big fight started. Then after an hour of this I realized the window lock was on. D'oh!

02-05-2009, 02:46 PM	#7
vivaldirules When's Doughnut Day? Posts: 10,059 Karma: 13675475 Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Houston, TX, US Device: Sony PRS-505, iPad	My gratuitous dumb incidents are so vast that they defy enumeration (or remuneration). But few come to mind at the moment. I guess I do remember standing in the kitchen making something (I don't remember what) using the last three eggs I had on hand. I proceeded to crack an egg, toss its contents in the garbage, and put the shell in the bowl. Now, to do that once would be do no big deal. I'm sure many people have probably done that. But I did that with all three eggs before I noticed.

02-05-2009, 03:51 PM	#11
Nate the great Sir Penguin of Edinburgh Posts: 12,375 Karma: 23555235 Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: DC Metro area Device: Shake a stick plus 1	Here's another: http://www.copyright.gov/help/faq/fa...ect.html#elvis

02-05-2009, 04:00 PM	#12
DixieGal Hi There! Posts: 7,473 Karma: 2930523 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Ft Lauderdale Device: iPad	I'm not clicking no more links until another of the girls says its safe!

02-05-2009, 04:34 PM	#13
slayda Retired & reading more! Posts: 2,764 Karma: 1884247 Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: North Alabama, USA Device: Kindle 1, iPad Air 2, iPhone 6S+, Kobo Aura One	I'll give you one but first I MUST give one on my sister-in-law and then one on my wife. Sister-in-law, in here early twenties was pregnant for the first time. She had so much trouble with morning sickness that she couldn't even keep down the anti-nausea pills so the doctor gave her some anti-nausea suppositories. She had to call her mother to find out what to do with them. (Oh how I wish she had called me!) Wife, some years ago when we first had two cars, my wife had a Malibu and she didn't work. As most of you know, Chevrolet used two different keys, one for the door and one for the ignition. After she locked herself out of her car the second time with the keys in the ignition, I had a second door key made for her to carry in her purse. I knew that women instinctively always grab their purse even if the keys are still in the ignition. Sure enough, a few weeks later, she called me at work to say she had locked herself out of her car again. I asked if she had her purse. She said, "Yes." I said, "So." She said, "So what." I said, "So don't you have the spare key in your purse?" She said, "Oh, bye." Now me, It happened when I was just 11 years old. I had just read "Huck Finn" where he signed his name in blood. That seemed sooo cool & I wanted to do it. I made great preparations, got a safety pin for the puncture, some string to force the blood to the end of my finger, went outside and found a good seat on a stump in the front yard. I carefully wrapped the string arounf my left index finger, starting at the base. I opened the safety pin, sat on the stump, placed my left hand on my left thigh, pulled back and jabbed. However at the last minute I chickened out and jerked my finger out of the way, thus jabbing the pin deeply into my thigh. Now I try (very hard) to think ahead to determine all consequences.

02-05-2009, 04:46 PM	#14
NatCh Gizmologist Posts: 11,615 Karma: 929550 Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Republic of Texas Embassy at Jackson, TN Device: Pocketbook Touch HD3	I'm not sure you follow the idea here, Nate: you're supposed to tell stories on yourself -- though I'll go along with the notion that close associates/relatives are fair game. In that vein, and reminded by Slayda's car key post: I had a friend in college who locked herself out of her car (she apparently did this semi-regularly at the time) and asked me to give her a ride to the dealership to get it dealt with. They sent one of their tow-truck drivers to slim-jim it for her. When she saw how easily he got it open with just that piece of metal, she exclaimed: "I should get one of those!" To which I responded, "And just where would you keep it?" She said, "I'd keep it in my ca-- ... you should get one of those." I told her that I thought it would probably be illegal for me to do that, and that was the end of it, but I can still see the look on her face as what she was saying actually penetrated.

02-05-2009, 05:05 PM	#15
Nate the great Sir Penguin of Edinburgh Posts: 12,375 Karma: 23555235 Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: DC Metro area Device: Shake a stick plus 1	There was the time when I was 9, and I thought it would be neat to shave off my eyebrows. There was the time I slid down a banister into a nail, and ended up in the emergency room. There was the time I was prying 2 boards apart and hit myself between the eyes with one, and ended up in the emergency room. There was a period of time when I was 8 when I experimented with removing my hand from the edge of the door after closing it. There was the time someone said "Nate, catch" and I didn't, and I ended up in the emergency room. There was the time I was riding on my bicycle and ran into a fire hydrant. There was the time I was riding on my bicycle and ran into a concrete trash can. There was the time I was riding on my bicycle and ran into a parked car. There was the time I was riding on my bicycle and ran into a building. (Needless to say, I wasn't the most observant child.)

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