How to convince my hubby to read?

[Blossom]

Originally Posted by Apache

My wife is Dyslexic and even correctly spelled words can look wrong to her.
It mostly affects her when she is tired. and it is difficult for her to read when tired. Another way Dyslexia affects my wife, when reading, is that the words seem to move around on the page. She also has a type of Dyslexia that causes her to lose her sense of direction.
Apache

This. I had the same issues as Apache's wife. This is why when reading it's good to try many different fonts. For me Slab Serif has been most comfortable to read with. I use Amasis with alot of weight added. I have also found reading along to an audiobook is training my brain to see more words correctly. I'm reading faster with less error since I have started this even without an audiobook.

However the right or left thing I've yet to discover a way to not lose direction.

When I started reading in 2009 it was a struggle and I was slow. I had to run every eBook through Calibre. Every paragraph had to have a space after it and be indented. Now I can read without either and my old books I formatted this way now annoy me. It took years though to train my brain but for me was well worth it.

Sent from my XT1528

[Blossom]

Originally Posted by pdurrant

Addressing the last bit first: It certainly can't hurt.

But homophones are especially difficult for dyslexics. In my experience dyslexics manage to read and write only with deliberate, conscious effort all the time. I't's not (IMO) the case they they could just spend a couple of hours of effort on memorising (say) they're/there/their and then it would come automatically.

Actually it's possible but it takes constant effort. You have to keep yourself in an atmosphere where you write or type daily and read. So say for someone who rather watch TV than read they are not going to put in the effort needed to retrain the brain so it does come automatically.

Sent from my XT1528

[Blossom]

Originally Posted by CatherineStewart

My husbands spelling is atrocious not due to him being dyslexic (in all reality he has pretty much adapted perfectly to being dyslexic). He works in sales and deals with the written word and numbers all day and does great. But he has this constant label in his head that "I'm dyslexic so that will be too hard for me to do" when it comes to other things i.e.: reading a book, organizing things, sorting, etc (which is complete crap because when he HAS to do it, he does it wonderfully and it takes him no more effort than a non-dyslexic person).

But the spelling. Oh lord the spelling! I think it's because he does not make a conscious effort to learn/remember the difference between (their,there,they're) and (we're, where, ware) etc. He just googles, or asks me all the time and I tell him the answer. Which really, he should make an effort to learn, and I know READING would help out in that area too. Hey, it can't hurt right?

I guess I'm just looking at the other benefits for him (to help encourage him to try) as to why it's a good idea to try and read something other than just magazines about boats, etc. I know my husband. I know he would enjoy it once he sinks his teeth in, I just need to get him past this fear that "he can't" or it's "too hard" or "too daunting". And I really think the suggestion of short stories is a fantastic way to start.

I hate to say this but you sound like my husband he too doesn't understand how different a dyslexic brain works. Get him some audiobooks with good voice acting to start with. See if he can find a genre he enjoys. Reading should never be pushed on someone as a task. If they don't enjoy it then they aren't going to want to read. Once he finds an author to enjoy he may want to read the print version to comprehend better or he may not.

It actually hurts I'm talking headaches to eyestrain to just your head feeling funny to relearn grammar and spelling for a dyslexic. It takes time and effort so you need to realize that he will never use his brain like you do. He will never think the same way you do. Our brains are wired differently.

Sent from my XT1528

[ebusinesstutor]

Reading magazines is reading and will help spelling, vocabulary and grammar if there aren't other issues in the way.

I would just embrace that he reads magazines and use them as gifts for things like Christmas, birthdays and fathers day. You can also get a nice coffee-table type book on the topics he likes as well.

My wife got me a lovely book called "Builders of the Pacific Coast" that I love to read and look at the amazing homes made out of unusual wood and other materials.

[radius]

I'm not sure why you think reading something book-length is important but here are my two cents...

I agree that starting out short is the way to go. IIRC Kobos come with Pocket Pocket integration, so you and your husband could start by moving some reading from the internet onto the ebook device. Even if you don't have something like Pocket, you could simulate it using Calibre (or at least you used to be able to, I don't have experience with modern Calibre).

Second, for fiction, Amazon is chock full of self published pieces of all lengths from short stories to novellas, most often priced very affordably. You could convert those to epub for your Kobo.

I've been an avid reader from my earliest memories so I don't have anything to say on the converting a non-reader to reader part.

[Barty]

One thing that may entice Catherine's husband is that with an e-reader you can adjust font face and size, which can make a difference. See if there's a calibre recipe for whatever magazine he is reading, and load that on the kindle. Tell him it's a test to see if he may like reading on an e-reader. Maybe that can be the gateway drug

If not, well, it's fine to not read book. There are other things in life. Or so I've heard!

[DMB]

I have an odd related problem. My husband reads a lot less than I do (partly because of our relative reading speeds, a ratio of about 5:2). He reads quite a bit of scientific writing but the only fiction he reads is crime or thrillers. He really has no background in other sorts of fiction.

Now he is writing a book. It is based on the fairly romantic life of a deceased real person that we both knew a bit and he has enthusiastically done a lot of research. For various reasons (and I think them legitimate) he has decided that it ought to be in the form of a novel. Obviously, it would be a kind of historical novel.

The problem for me is that he never reads that sort of novel. I see him making all sorts of mistakes in his writing because of that. I have suggested a number of novels that he could read to get the feel for that kind of fiction, but it's too much of a chore for him.

Any ideas?

[Cinisajoy]

Originally Posted by DMB

I have an odd related problem. My husband reads a lot less than I do (partly because of our relative reading speeds, a ratio of about 5:2). He reads quite a bit of scientific writing but the only fiction he reads is crime or thrillers. He really has no background in other sorts of fiction.

Now he is writing a book. It is based on the fairly romantic life of a deceased real person that we both knew a bit and he has enthusiastically done a lot of research. For various reasons (and I think them legitimate) he has decided that it ought to be in the form of a novel. Obviously, it would be a kind of historical novel.

The problem for me is that he never reads that sort of novel. I see him making all sorts of mistakes in his writing because of that. I have suggested a number of novels that he could read to get the feel for that kind of fiction, but it's too much of a chore for him.

Any ideas?

Have him join a couple of writing forums.
Of course the general consensus will be read in that genre before trying to write in that genre.
So as not to derail the thread, I will send you a pm to show to your husband.

[beespeckled]

CatherineStewart, my husband is also dyslexic, on the severe end of the scale. He will read the sports scores in the newspaper. (He sees the back letter of a word at the front/words are scrambled. Phonics are useless, he will try to sound out a letter either at the end of a word or nonexistent letter) However, he is a master of jigsaw puzzles whereas I don't do so well at those.

I'm encouraging him to try audiobooks. When we go on road trips I usually have audiobooks playing, he seems to enjoy those.

[crich70]

Originally Posted by Blossom

I hate to say this but you sound like my husband he too doesn't understand how different a dyslexic brain works. Get him some audiobooks with good voice acting to start with. See if he can find a genre he enjoys. Reading should never be pushed on someone as a task. If they don't enjoy it then they aren't going to want to read. Once he finds an author to enjoy he may want to read the print version to comprehend better or he may not.

It actually hurts I'm talking headaches to eyestrain to just your head feeling funny to relearn grammar and spelling for a dyslexic. It takes time and effort so you need to realize that he will never use his brain like you do. He will never think the same way you do. Our brains are wired differently.

Sent from my XT1528

I imagine that same problem affects anyone who doesn't suffer from a given problem. The person who doesn't have problem x may study it but even the most careful study of a problem isn't quite the same as having it. Certainly that is the case with Diabetes. Anyone can read about low blood sugar etc. but if you don't have to live with it day in and day out you can't really understand it like an actual diabetic does. I know I can understand that letters are switched around or backwards for a person who is dyslexic but I can't understand the problem like someone who has it does.

[Ilkantuau]

Don't know

[Blossom]

Originally Posted by crich70

I imagine that same problem affects anyone who doesn't suffer from a given problem. The person who doesn't have problem x may study it but even the most careful study of a problem isn't quite the same as having it. Certainly that is the case with Diabetes. Anyone can read about low blood sugar etc. but if you don't have to live with it day in and day out you can't really understand it like an actual diabetic does. I know I can understand that letters are switched around or backwards for a person who is dyslexic but I can't understand the problem like someone who has it does.

Dyslexia is more than just words moving on a page. When most hear Dyslexia that's what comes to mind but it really is a whole way of how our brain works.

I read an excellent article last year that really helped me. In the article a mother of a dyslexic girl gave an example of how we think.

Mom told her daughter to clean the kitchen as she was leaving. The little girl looked at the kitchen. She didn't understand what her mom wanted. Her mom returned angry and she asked her daughter why she hadn't cleaned the kitchen. The little girl told her mom. "You didn't tell me what to clean!" and she burst into tears. The Mom then had a light bulb go off. She then gave her daughter precise instructions. She told her to sweep the floors, wipe the counters, do the dishes and wipe out the microwave. The little girl went and did it straight away. Now the next time she is told to clean the kitchen she will do the same unless her mom gives her a different list to follow. This is how a dyslexic thinks. We need precise instructions and we will ask for them if we don't get them.

Tutorials are wonderful because they take the guess work out of how to for us.

I can so relate to my early years in marriage to this little girl. My husband was so frustrated with my questions he always snapped. "Just figured it out "yourself." He gets frustrated when what solution I come up with isn't the common one because I don't think like he does. Luckily I have Google who helps and YouTube.

When I showed him the article he refused to believe it anything but laziness or lack of motivation on the little girls part. He also refuses to accept my differences as anything but illiteracy or laziness.

I use spell checkers and Alexa to make sure everything is spelled correctly. I've been communicating by typing on the internet since 1995 but it's a minute by minute struggle even to this day. If I get tired, stressed or excited the Dyslexia really kicks in. I suddenly have to slow down to complete a thought that is coherent enough for everyone to understand as I type it out then read it over and over till it makes sense. Many times I have to rearrange what I wrote because it comes out backwards. Instead of point a,b,c..... It's written as point d,c,a. Sometimes I'll just scrap the post and start over trying to get the sequence right.

I may come back later and proof read and see some serious mistakes and have to edit because my brain refuses to see words correctly at the moment.

This is just in typing! My actually speech I can mispronounce words or forget how to say them correctly. My husband will constantly correct me. He will ask me how is the word spelled? What is the root word? Many times my mind refuses to see the word it's just blank. I then fumble mispronouncing the word till I get lucky and say it right and he leaves me alone.

It's not that I haven't learned them correctly. it's just at times my brain takes a vacation on me and I struggle with spelling, grammar, pronouncing words....etc

Then there is left and right and coordination that is off. I'm ashamed to say I didn't learn to tie a bow till I was 21. I tied my shoe with bunny ears and many had tried to show me. It was my husband on our second date who taught me as many had tried but they never broke it down the way he did without confusing me. We won't talk about my driving and how many times I confused the gas pedal for the brake!

Many dyslexics do learn to drive and do it well but for some like myself it's not worth someone's life because right becomes left.

Sent from my XT1528

[AndrewMowere]

I may be a bit late here, but second the fonts, short stories and audio. I would also like to add a suggestion of non fiction. One of my friends, who is like a sister to me, only reads historical books, encyclopedias, that sort of thing. Maybe a book devoted to boats or something similar, with-without stats, illustrations etc. As long as it is something informative on what he loves, it may get him over the hurdle of never having read a book. once he's over that, he can decide if he liked it or not.

You could also try finding a show he loves with a similar book, thus showing that there are books on things he loves that probably aren't going to be made into other forms of media anytime soon. Good luck and go easy on the guy. We all have things we like to do that others just don't get into but it's good to encourage a good old fashioned try.

[crich70]

Originally Posted by Blossom

Dyslexia is more than just words moving on a page. When most hear Dyslexia that's what comes to mind but it really is a whole way of how our brain works.

I read an excellent article last year that really helped me. In the article a mother of a dyslexic girl gave an example of how we think.

Mom told her daughter to clean the kitchen as she was leaving. The little girl looked at the kitchen. She didn't understand what her mom wanted. Her mom returned angry and she asked her daughter why she hadn't cleaned the kitchen. The little girl told her mom. "You didn't tell me what to clean!" and she burst into tears. The Mom then had a light bulb go off. She then gave her daughter precise instructions. She told her to sweep the floors, wipe the counters, do the dishes and wipe out the microwave. The little girl went and did it straight away. Now the next time she is told to clean the kitchen she will do the same unless her mom gives her a different list to follow. This is how a dyslexic thinks. We need precise instructions and we will ask for them if we don't get them.

Tutorials are wonderful because they take the guess work out of how to for us.

I can so relate to my early years in marriage to this little girl. My husband was so frustrated with my questions he always snapped. "Just figured it out "yourself." He gets frustrated when what solution I come up with isn't the common one because I don't think like he does. Luckily I have Google who helps and YouTube.

When I showed him the article he refused to believe it anything but laziness or lack of motivation on the little girls part. He also refuses to accept my differences as anything but illiteracy or laziness.

I use spell checkers and Alexa to make sure everything is spelled correctly. I've been communicating by typing on the internet since 1995 but it's a minute by minute struggle even to this day. If I get tired, stressed or excited the Dyslexia really kicks in. I suddenly have to slow down to complete a thought that is coherent enough for everyone to understand as I type it out then read it over and over till it makes sense. Many times I have to rearrange what I wrote because it comes out backwards. Instead of point a,b,c..... It's written as point d,c,a. Sometimes I'll just scrap the post and start over trying to get the sequence right.

I may come back later and proof read and see some serious mistakes and have to edit because my brain refuses to see words correctly at the moment.

This is just in typing! My actually speech I can mispronounce words or forget how to say them correctly. My husband will constantly correct me. He will ask me how is the word spelled? What is the root word? Many times my mind refuses to see the word it's just blank. I then fumble mispronouncing the word till I get lucky and say it right and he leaves me alone.

It's not that I haven't learned them correctly. it's just at times my brain takes a vacation on me and I struggle with spelling, grammar, pronouncing words....etc

Then there is left and right and coordination that is off. I'm ashamed to say I didn't learn to tie a bow till I was 21. I tied my shoe with bunny ears and many had tried to show me. It was my husband on our second date who taught me as many had tried but they never broke it down the way he did without confusing me. We won't talk about my driving and how many times I confused the gas pedal for the brake!

Many dyslexics do learn to drive and do it well but for some like myself it's not worth someone's life because right becomes left.

Sent from my XT1528

And I only meant to say that I get where you are coming from Blossom. A person has to have a given problem to really understand it properly. Everyone else may understand a part of things but not the whole picture of a medical problem. I would think that dyslexia would count as a medical problem anyway though there is no cure for it.

[BookCat]

Originally Posted by Blossom

Dyslexia is more than just words moving on a page. When most hear Dyslexia that's what comes to mind but it really is a whole way of how our brain works.

I read an excellent article last year that really helped me. In the article a mother of a dyslexic girl gave an example of how we think.

Mom told her daughter to clean the kitchen as she was leaving. The little girl looked at the kitchen. She didn't understand what her mom wanted. Her mom returned angry and she asked her daughter why she hadn't cleaned the kitchen. The little girl told her mom. "You didn't tell me what to clean!" and she burst into tears. The Mom then had a light bulb go off. She then gave her daughter precise instructions. She told her to sweep the floors, wipe the counters, do the dishes and wipe out the microwave. The little girl went and did it straight away. Now the next time she is told to clean the kitchen she will do the same unless her mom gives her a different list to follow. This is how a dyslexic thinks. We need precise instructions and we will ask for them if we don't get them.

Tutorials are wonderful because they take the guess work out of how to for us.

I can so relate to my early years in marriage to this little girl. My husband was so frustrated with my questions he always snapped. "Just figured it out "yourself." He gets frustrated when what solution I come up with isn't the common one because I don't think like he does. Luckily I have Google who helps and YouTube.

When I showed him the article he refused to believe it anything but laziness or lack of motivation on the little girls part. He also refuses to accept my differences as anything but illiteracy or laziness.

I use spell checkers and Alexa to make sure everything is spelled correctly. I've been communicating by typing on the internet since 1995 but it's a minute by minute struggle even to this day. If I get tired, stressed or excited the Dyslexia really kicks in. I suddenly have to slow down to complete a thought that is coherent enough for everyone to understand as I type it out then read it over and over till it makes sense. Many times I have to rearrange what I wrote because it comes out backwards. Instead of point a,b,c..... It's written as point d,c,a. Sometimes I'll just scrap the post and start over trying to get the sequence right.

I may come back later and proof read and see some serious mistakes and have to edit because my brain refuses to see words correctly at the moment.

This is just in typing! My actually speech I can mispronounce words or forget how to say them correctly. My husband will constantly correct me. He will ask me how is the word spelled? What is the root word? Many times my mind refuses to see the word it's just blank. I then fumble mispronouncing the word till I get lucky and say it right and he leaves me alone.

It's not that I haven't learned them correctly. it's just at times my brain takes a vacation on me and I struggle with spelling, grammar, pronouncing words....etc

Then there is left and right and coordination that is off. I'm ashamed to say I didn't learn to tie a bow till I was 21. I tied my shoe with bunny ears and many had tried to show me. It was my husband on our second date who taught me as many had tried but they never broke it down the way he did without confusing me. We won't talk about my driving and how many times I confused the gas pedal for the brake!

Many dyslexics do learn to drive and do it well but for some like myself it's not worth someone's life because right becomes left.

Sent from my XT1528

Your hubby sounds like a bit of a bully!

Strangely, I share many of the traits you've mentioned although I have no problems reading. Many people can walk into an untidy room and see exactly what needs to be done; to me it's just chaos and I can't see how to begin. Likewise, I've always had problems telling right from left and have to look at my hands to know the difference (I have a bent ring finger on my right hand). While speaking, I often stumble over words and find myself mispronouncing familiar words. I've noticed similar traits in my mother, though neither of us have trouble reading (she does now, but she's nearly 100 years old).

Your husband does seem very unsympathetic: even if he doesn't entirely understand the illness, he could take your word regarding how life is for you.