How to convince my hubby to read?

[CatherineStewart]

I've upgraded my ereader and my old one is still in perfect shape. I'm hoping to convince my hubby to start reading (he rolls his eyes at me). He thinks because he is dyslexic that reading is "hard" and he won't enjoy it. He's never actually read a book his whole life (nope, not even is school). But I know he will enjoy it (I have so many books in mind for him that I know he would love).

He has no problems spending hours on end reading magazines about boats, ATV's, etc (I get it, he likes that stuff) but I know his lack of interest in trying a real book does not come from him not being able to read (he's quite capable) it's just a fear of commitment maybe or that he may get "lost" and not be able to follow the story?

I know that reading for him would vastly improve his vocabulary (not that he's lacking but an improvement is always good) and his spelling (cause it's atrocious). AND….I know he would enjoy it!

So… that being said, has anyone here been converted to being an avid reader when you previously did not ever think you would enjoy reading a book? Any tips or suggestions?

He is willing to "try" to start his first book tonight. I'm excited about that. But how do I convince him to stick with it, if he gets discouraged?

[JSWolf]

What sorts of TV shows does he watch? Maybe we could recommend a book similar to the sorts of shows he watches.

[CatherineStewart]

Originally Posted by JSWolf

What sorts of TV shows does he watch? Maybe we could recommend a book similar to the sorts of shows he watches.

Oh I have a whole lineup of stuff I know he will love. It's just to get him to keep at it and encourage him to give it a good go, and not give up.

[barryem]

I learned decades ago that you can't push anybody into reading. That just gets their sales resistance going and makes them more resistant than ever.

I'd put a book on it you think he might like and put it where he can get it if he wants to and make sure he knows what's on it.

It might be a little less threatening if you put a few short stories on it instead of a book. Individual ones, not a book of short stories.

Ultimately it's his decision whether he wants to read or not. I'm in my mid 70s now and I've been a heavy reader all my life and I've never convinced one single person to try reading. I tried and tried to do that till I learned that no matter what I try it just doesn't work.

Barry

[CatherineStewart]

Originally Posted by barryem

I learned decades ago that you can't push anybody into reading. That just gets their sales resistance going and makes them more resistant than ever.

I'd put a book on it you think he might like and put it where he can get it if he wants to and make sure he knows what's on it.

It might be a little less threatening if you put a few short stories on it instead of a book. Individual ones, not a book of short stories.

Ultimately it's his decision whether he wants to read or not. I'm in my mid 70s now and I've been a heavy reader all my life and I've never convinced one single person to try reading. I tried and tried to do that till I learned that no matter what I try it just doesn't work.

Barry

Short stories is a great idea! I never thought of that. Problem is I don't know any. Time to research!

[Cinisajoy]

Find books on what he likes to read in magazines.
If it is something he doesn't like, he will never read.

Now, I am going to play Devil's advocate.
Does your husband want to read books?
Is he an adult?
Does he hold a job?
Does he have any hobbies that you don't do?

Here is the thing. If he doesn't want to read, don't push him. He is not a child that must do homework.
He is an adult with his own mind.
But if it is that important to you to have a husband that reads book, do the guy you are married to a favor and leave him now.
You knew he didn't read when you married him, so why should he read now?

You push too hard and all it will do is lead to him resenting you. Or maybe he will decide you should do something that doesn't interest you.

My ex tried to tell me what I should do. I left him as fast as I could because I didn't want to be married to a controlling person.

My husband doesn't read for pleasure. That is his choice because he is an adult.
I don't like fishing so I don't fish. He likes fishing.

Now yes, he knows I always have books. And other hobbies. I know he has his own hobbies.
We make it work. When he fishes I either read or work on one of my many hobbies.

So long story short: is forcing your husband to read a book more important than him being happy?

Suggest, find books on his hobbies or things he likes, but do not tell him he has to read.

Is his not reading books a marriage breaker?

[CatherineStewart]

Originally Posted by Cinisajoy

Find books on what he likes to read in magazines.
If it is something he doesn't like, he will never read.

Now, I am going to play Devil's advocate.
Does your husband want to read books?
Is he an adult?
Does he hold a job?
Does he have any hobbies that you don't do?

Here is the thing. If he doesn't want to read, don't push him. He is not a child that must do homework.
He is an adult with his own mind.
But if it is that important to you to have a husband that reads book, do the guy you are married to a favor and leave him now.
You knew he didn't read when you married him, so why should he read now?

You push too hard and all it will do is lead to him resenting you. Or maybe he will decide you should do something that doesn't interest you.

My ex tried to tell me what I should do. I left him as fast as I could because I didn't want to be married to a controlling person.

My husband doesn't read for pleasure. That is his choice because he is an adult.
I don't like fishing so I don't fish. He likes fishing.

Now yes, he knows I always have books. And other hobbies. I know he has his own hobbies.
We make it work. When he fishes I either read or work on one of my many hobbies.

So long story short: is forcing your husband to read a book more important than him being happy?

Suggest, find books on his hobbies or things he likes, but do not tell him he has to read.

Is his not reading books a marriage breaker?

I think you may have taken this post a bit too seriously. "Forcing" is a bit different than "encouraging". In no way would I force him to do something but to push him a little bit to give something unknown a try? Of course!

Divorce him because he won't ever become a reader? That's a little drastic. We've been married 12 years (amazing relationship btw) with two young boys. I couldn't have designed my soul mate myself better (I hit the jackpot with this guy). But encourage him to try new things? You bet! That's what we do for each other. How boring would a relationship be if we just sat passive in our old habits and never encouraged one another to try new things, especially together!

And yes, I've tried many things he is interested in (for his sake), and ended up loving them (boating, fishing, UTV'ing, etc). Now they are activities we do as a family because we all enjoy them. As stated above, he has already decided that even though he "feels" he is not interested, he wants to give it a try (as we do with many things in our family when we have doubts -- we try). So my question was (if you re-read my post) how can I help him get over his fears of feeling like he won't be able to commit, or make him realize it's not as difficult as he thinks, and good ways to encourage him to keep at it and not give up too soon.

Barry (above) had a great suggestion to start him off with short stories (that answers directly to his fear of commitment of a long book) and was a very helpful suggestion.

Your post however, just made me feel like I've been scolded by a teacher or worse (my mother).

[Cinisajoy]

Note: I took your thread title literally.
Second note: I have seen too many women say they were going to make their husband do something.
Third: I am glad you aren't like that.

Best suggestion. Do what Barry said. He is wise.

Oh we try new things together too.

On the fishing/project, we are usually no more than 4 feet apart.

Not your mother as none of my kids are married. Though you were told I was going to be devil's advocate.
Just didn't want to see your marriage fail over something trivial.

Now I will share a true story with you.
A friend (now former) called one day to ask what I would do if my husband bought a house without consulting me. I said my husband wouldn't do that as he respects me.

She got home from work one day about 4:30 and was told the realtor will be here at 5 to sign the papers on the new house.
Note:the new house raised their mortgage substantially.

So I have seen both ways.

[GtrsRGr8]

Originally Posted by CatherineStewart

I've upgraded my ereader and my old one is still in perfect shape. I'm hoping to convince my hubby to start reading (he rolls his eyes at me). He thinks because he is dyslexic that reading is "hard" and he won't enjoy it. He's never actually read a book his whole life (nope, not even is school). But I know he will enjoy it (I have so many books in mind for him that I know he would love).

He has no problems spending hours on end reading magazines about boats, ATV's, etc (I get it, he likes that stuff) but I know his lack of interest in trying a real book does not come from him not being able to read (he's quite capable) it's just a fear of commitment maybe or that he may get "lost" and not be able to follow the story?

I know that reading for him would vastly improve his vocabulary (not that he's lacking but an improvement is always good) and his spelling (cause it's atrocious). AND….I know he would enjoy it!

So… that being said, has anyone here been converted to being an avid reader when you previously did not ever think you would enjoy reading a book? Any tips or suggestions?

He is willing to "try" to start his first book tonight. I'm excited about that. But how do I convince him to stick with it, if he gets discouraged?

I'm not as certain as you are that he will enjoy it if he tries it. I'm sure that if he saw any possibility in enjoyment of it, he would have read at least a few books some time in his life!

If he's doing all of that reading of boats, ATV's, etc., I doubt that reading books is going to help his "atrocious" spelling. Some people just don't learn to spell well by reading. The correct spelling doesn't stick in the brain somehow (I am basically the opposite of that).

And does he actually need to improve his spelling for career or other reasons? If not, what would be the point of improving it, anyway?

My opinion is to leave him be. Emphasize in your mind his strengths and love him for them.

[CatherineStewart]

Alright. I feel like my point is totally being missed here. Thanks for those that offered suggestions. We can let this topic go, cause clearly everyone thinks I need marriage advice now

I was simply excited that we now have a spare ereader and hubby was willing to try something new and I was asking for encouraging suggestions. Clearly that is not how I came across to everyone so we can just let it drop now. It's getting silly.

[Cinisajoy]

Originally Posted by CatherineStewart

Alright. I feel like my point is totally being missed here. Thanks for those that offered suggestions. We can let this topic go, cause clearly everyone thinks I need marriage advice now

I was simply excited that we now have a spare ereader and hubby was willing to try something new and I was asking for encouraging suggestions. Clearly that is not how I came across to everyone so we can just let it drop now. It's getting silly.

Short stories about boats or another of his interests.

Now if I might make a suggestion, get a mod to change your thread title to "How can I get my husband interested in reading".

That will get you much better responses to what you want to know.
And will keep the pop marriage counselors at bay.
Many people will just answer the title question and not read the entire first post.

Alas, you have wondered into a forum where many answer the literal questions asked.

Oh and if you want silly come on down to the lounge. I need more people in some of the games.
Free link.
https://www.mobileread.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=143018

[dwig]

Being dyslexic does make reading hard, period. Even being as mildly dyslexic as I am makes reading anything difficult. I enjoy reading, but when I read a 10,000 word book I actually read something more like 15-25,000 words since I have to read many phases and even whole sentences two or three times in order to read them correctly. I have managed to read well over 1000 books since leaving school long ago. Reading for me is an effort, but I love the aspect of reading that involves building an image of the world the writer's created in you own head.

I find that books that can be read in short sessions are the best for me. Hence my preference for short stories. Longer works that are somewhat episodic are also easier to read in shorter sessions.

Another thing that might be a stepping stone is to "trick" him into an interest in the written word through audio books. With these, someone else does the "heavy lifting", the actual reading bit, but you still are left with creating your own visualization.

[library addict]

If he's dyslexic there may be certain fonts and/or backgrounds that work better for him than others. Most of the heavy readers I know who have dyslexia aren't too fond of the actual Open Dyslexic font, but they all have their own individual preferences. It just takes trial and error to find which one works best for that person.

I'm not sure which type of device he will be using, but it's something you may want to keep in mind.

[CatherineStewart]

Thank you finally some awesome advice. Didn't know about the fonts and I always forget about audio books.

[CatherineStewart]

Originally Posted by Cinisajoy

Oh and if you want silly come on down to the lounge. I need more people in some of the games.
Free link.
https://www.mobileread.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=143018

Ha I guess we can all use some silliness at times to lighten the mood. Thanks