Books We Lie About Having Read

[QuantumIguana]

The instruction manual.

[FlorenceArt]

Originally Posted by QuantumIguana

The instruction manual.

[BeccaPrice]

I write instruction manuals, and I swear I've written and published more words that nobody reads than the biggest self-publisher at Amazon.

*sob* nobody reads my stuff.

still, I get paid for it, which counts for something I suppose.

[nogle]

Originally Posted by jtdolphins

The only other book that someone has lied to me about reading is Lord of The Rings. We were coming out of the movie and this guy starts talking about the books and Tolkien. It was obvious that he was making things up to a number of people.

Everyone looked at me, since they knew it was my favorite book. I had written about the books and Tolkien on a couple of occasions.

A real fan would appreciate the Lord of the Rings the musical. It sold well initially because it was so laughably bad. My favorite quote from a reliable news source was "cue the dancing orcs..." I laughed all the way through (although it was not a comedy).

[toomanybooks]

I lie about having read whatever the latest bestseller is. This started when The Da Vinci Code came out and I got bored explaining to the tenth person that I had no interest in reading it and having them continue to tell me why I had to read it.

[ScalyFreak]

Originally Posted by nogle

A real fan would appreciate the Lord of the Rings the musical. It sold well initially because it was so laughably bad. My favorite quote from a reliable news source was "cue the dancing orcs..." I laughed all the way through (although it was not a comedy).

Where there's a whip there's a way!

[Prestidigitweeze]

Sometimes the gist of a book -- its substance for that particular reader -- is not reducible to the story and can be studied intently without actually being finished. What would you say in that case: "I scrutinized the book deeply but didn't actually read it?" I can see why someone might make a distinction between reading it and finishing it.

Ulysses is a great example. My teacher advised me to muscle through it whether I understood everything or not and then go back and study it, particularly the Proteus chapter. Because I did so, I can say I finished the book. But there are people (including grad students) who study Ulysses for years -- sometimes specializing in a single aspect or chapter -- and never actually finish it. How are those people supposed to say they spent their time?

And if I hadn't gotten that advice, I might still be making my way through it little by little, with two books of Joycean annotations checked off slowly beside it.

As an eighteen-year-old, I remember stopping myself from reading The Notebooks of Malte Laurids Brigge too quickly. I knew that, once I'd finished it, a source of spiritual refreshment would have to be relived instead of experienced in moments of pain and doubt. Reading it, I felt close to tears but protected from them, too, as if, each time I had to pause, nictitating membranes of water slid closed beneath eyelids made of flesh.

I can see putting off reaching the end of a book I truly love for a lifetime, and perhaps finishing it at the very end. Isn't that how some of the most intense romantic relationships play out?

[NightBookworm]

Atlas Shrugged I have though read The Fountainhead

[Prestidigitweeze]

Originally Posted by QuantumIguana

The instruction manual.

I immediately thought of this . . . and Guadalajara!

[Sil_liS]

Originally Posted by NightBookworm

Atlas Shrugged I have though read The Fountainhead

I haven't read it, and from the comments on the book I don't think that I want to read it.

[LovesMacs]

Originally Posted by NightBookworm

Atlas Shrugged I have though read The Fountainhead

I have read both of these. Yes, really! I think The Fountainhead is a better novel because I find the actions, motivations and dialogue of Atlas Shrugged's characters too unrealistic for me to truly lose myself in the reading.

I probably would not have read either of these if I did not have an e-reader, due to the size of the books.

[Freeshadow]

Originally Posted by jtdolphins

I didn't say anything at first, because my future wife didn't want me to.

He wouldn't listen to the others that he might not want to lie about it. He insisted that he was telling the truth, so I stepped in. He ended up admitting he had never read Tolkien. It was sad, but the guy was always a know it all type and a jerk.

What I can't understand is the thinking of your wife.
And... I wouldn't only step in, I 'd have had him stomped to dust.

[sakura-panda]

This thread keeps popping up and I wish I had a book I lied about so that I can contribute. I have no problem saying I haven't read a book.

Cards on the other hand -- birthday, anniversay, etc -- I always say I've read but I almost never do. I open them up to look for handwritten notes, and skim to get the gist, but I don't spend much time on them.

[nursedude]

I think an interesting variation of this topic would be: "Books we falsely deny having read".

[jtdolphins]

Originally Posted by sakura-panda

Cards on the other hand -- birthday, anniversay, etc -- I always say I've read but I almost never do. I open them up to look for handwritten notes, and skim to get the gist, but I don't spend much time on them.

I do this all the time!