Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 203

MJK2111 · 05-18-2011, 12:49 PM

Q: Why are pubic hairs soft and curly?

A: If they were hard and straight, they'd poke your eyes out!

orlok · 05-18-2011, 01:22 PM

Paddy Died.

His will provided £40,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last guests departed the affair, his wife Colleen turned to her oldest and dearest friend.

"Ah well, to be sure Paddy would be pleased," she said.

"To be sure you're right," Replied Mary, who lowered her voice and leaned in close.

"So go on, how much did this really cost?'"

"All of it," said Colleen. "Forty thousand."

"Aw No!" Mary exclaimed. "I mean, it was very grand, but £40,000?!!!"

Colleen answered, "The funeral was £6,500. I donated £500 to church. The whiskey, wine and snacks were another £500...

The rest went for the Memorial Stone."

Mary computed quickly.

"For the love of God Colleen, £32,500 for a Memorial Stone? How big is it?"

Spoiler:

Fbone · 05-18-2011, 07:19 PM

Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one.

wodin · 05-18-2011, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one.

nohmi2 · 05-19-2011, 12:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orlok

Paddy Died.

"For the love of God Colleen, £32,500 for a Memorial Stone? How big is it?"

Spoiler:

Sensible woman!

Yes!

Cheers

Bikeridr · 05-19-2011, 03:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one.

Goes into the same genre as this:
People claiming they "slept like a baby" obviously never had babies themselves.

Fbone · 05-19-2011, 03:06 PM

I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

badgoodDeb · 05-19-2011, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

It *might* have been a shark! You couldn't know that it wasn't. You are just being sensible.

pilotbob · 05-19-2011, 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nohmi2

Sensible woman!

Yes!

Cheers

The fact that you think it is sensible to spend 32.5k pounds on a ring says it all about the female of the species.

poohbear_nc · 05-19-2011, 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pilotbob

The fact that you think it is sensible to spend 32.5k pounds on a ring says it all about the female of the species.

Errrr .... BOb - can I interest you in a witness protection program? I can vouch for its effectiveness!

nohmi2 · 05-20-2011, 02:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pilotbob

The fact that you think it is sensible to spend 32.5k pounds on a ring says it all about the female of the species.

"Diamonds are forever."

They are also such a comfort in one's old age.

Cheers

Fbone · 05-20-2011, 05:18 PM

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

badgoodDeb · 05-20-2011, 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

Ah, so true.....

SolRaven · 05-21-2011, 04:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pilotbob

The fact that you think it is sensible to spend 32.5k pounds on a ring says it all about the female of the species.

Yeah, that spending it on a funeral has very little return on investment.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

orlok · 05-21-2011, 05:15 PM

A guy walks past a mental hospital and hears a moaning voice "13.......13.......13.......13".

The man walked closer to the hospital and sees a hole in the wall. He looked through the hole and gets poked in the eye.

The moaning voice then groaned "14.........14.........14.......14".

05-21-2011, 05:15 PM	#3045
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	A guy walks past a mental hospital and hears a moaning voice "13.......13.......13.......13". The man walked closer to the hospital and sees a hole in the wall. He looked through the hole and gets poked in the eye. The moaning voice then groaned "14.........14.........14.......14". Last edited by orlok; 05-22-2011 at 06:13 PM.

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Add from the Mobile Read Library?	danwdoo	Calibre	8	12-03-2014 06:03 PM
Good Day Eh!! :-)	Gedvondur	Introduce Yourself	12	07-22-2010 12:16 AM
Classic Is there a way to lighten the background?	rlsamson	Barnes & Noble NOOK	3	06-30-2010 04:56 PM
Read-in-Microsoft-Reader 1.1.3 add-in released	Alexander Turcic	Reading and Management	2	02-20-2006 03:47 AM

05-18-2011, 12:49 PM	#3031
MJK2111 FUBAR! Posts: 1,946 Karma: 15018767 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Woodstock, IL Device: Kindle 3, Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 S	Q: Why are pubic hairs soft and curly? A: If they were hard and straight, they'd poke your eyes out!

05-18-2011, 01:22 PM	#3032
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	Paddy Died. His will provided £40,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last guests departed the affair, his wife Colleen turned to her oldest and dearest friend. "Ah well, to be sure Paddy would be pleased," she said. "To be sure you're right," Replied Mary, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. "So go on, how much did this really cost?'" "All of it," said Colleen. "Forty thousand." "Aw No!" Mary exclaimed. "I mean, it was very grand, but £40,000?!!!" Colleen answered, "The funeral was £6,500. I donated £500 to church. The whiskey, wine and snacks were another £500... The rest went for the Memorial Stone." Mary computed quickly. "For the love of God Colleen, £32,500 for a Memorial Stone? How big is it?" Spoiler:

05-18-2011, 07:19 PM	#3033
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,296 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one.

05-19-2011, 03:06 PM	#3037
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,296 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

05-20-2011, 05:18 PM	#3042
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,296 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.