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#3031 |
FUBAR!
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Karma: 15018767
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Woodstock, IL
Device: Kindle 3, Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 S
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Q: Why are pubic hairs soft and curly?
A: If they were hard and straight, they'd poke your eyes out! |
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#3032 |
Close to the Edit!
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Karma: 267994408
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: UK
Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"
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Paddy Died.
His will provided £40,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last guests departed the affair, his wife Colleen turned to her oldest and dearest friend. "Ah well, to be sure Paddy would be pleased," she said. "To be sure you're right," Replied Mary, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. "So go on, how much did this really cost?'" "All of it," said Colleen. "Forty thousand." "Aw No!" Mary exclaimed. "I mean, it was very grand, but £40,000?!!!" Colleen answered, "The funeral was £6,500. I donated £500 to church. The whiskey, wine and snacks were another £500... The rest went for the Memorial Stone." Mary computed quickly. "For the love of God Colleen, £32,500 for a Memorial Stone? How big is it?" Spoiler:
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#3033 |
Is that a sandwich?
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Karma: 101697116
Join Date: Jun 2010
Device: Nook Glowlight Plus
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Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one.
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#3034 |
Illiterate
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Karma: 37848716
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: The Sandwich Isles
Device: Samsung Galaxy S10+, Microsoft Surface Pro
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#3035 |
Pensively observing.
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Karma: 12675456
Join Date: Jun 2008
Device: Varied.
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#3036 |
Information Acquirer
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Karma: 4265156
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Latvia, Rigas Rajons
Device: Kindle 3 International, Pocketbook Color
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#3037 |
Is that a sandwich?
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 8,296
Karma: 101697116
Join Date: Jun 2010
Device: Nook Glowlight Plus
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I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
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#3038 |
Grand Sorcerer
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Karma: 64462893
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Harrisburg outskirts
Device: Palms, K1-4s, iPads, iPhones, KV, KO1
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#3039 |
Grand Sorcerer
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Karma: 11844413
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Tampa, FL USA
Device: Kindle Touch
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#3040 |
Bah! Humbug!
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Karma: 135239851
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Durham, NC
Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!
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#3041 |
Pensively observing.
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Karma: 12675456
Join Date: Jun 2008
Device: Varied.
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#3042 |
Is that a sandwich?
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 8,296
Karma: 101697116
Join Date: Jun 2010
Device: Nook Glowlight Plus
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Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
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#3043 |
Grand Sorcerer
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 8,551
Karma: 64462893
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Harrisburg outskirts
Device: Palms, K1-4s, iPads, iPhones, KV, KO1
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#3044 | ||
Wizard
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Karma: 12796976
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: The Sunshine State
Device: Clara, Voyage, Oasis, Paperwhite & PRS-650
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Quote:
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#3045 |
Close to the Edit!
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 9,797
Karma: 267994408
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: UK
Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"
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A guy walks past a mental hospital and hears a moaning voice "13.......13.......13.......13".
The man walked closer to the hospital and sees a hole in the wall. He looked through the hole and gets poked in the eye. The moaning voice then groaned "14.........14.........14.......14". Last edited by orlok; 05-22-2011 at 06:13 PM. |
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