The Vent and Rant Thread

[CWatkinsNash]

Originally Posted by wannabee

Mothers day was yesterday over hear mate so rant away.

tl;dr

Essential background info: My mom lives in Florida. She and I don't have a normal mother-daughter relationship, mostly because my grandparents pretty much raised me so the bond is a little different from the norm. She's also a bit dramatic at times, and she does this thing which I prefer to call 'altering history". There's more to the history, but way too much to get into here.

It actually started a few days ago. I got an email saying that if my roommate and I wanted to come to Florida, she would pay for gas money. Seems okay, right? No. Several things are wrong with this and she's aware of them all:

1. My roommate is an electrical contractor. I help him run his business. Closing down for a week is not a simple thing to do, and it would be costly even if it were simple. It's a tiny company - just the two of us, so "no us, no income".

2. We already have a trip planned for this year - to go north to visit family and friends I haven't seen in a few years. We've been planning that trip since the middle of LAST year. He's also going to Chicago for Thanksgiving to see his family.

3. My roommate was sick in Jan-Feb, putting things more than a little behind around here. It's the reason our trip up North was delayed until later in the year.

4. Who the hell goes to Florida in the Summer? Especially a road trip to Florida with a dog.

For those wondering, my roommate is part of all this because a) he's the road-trip driver and b) he's my best friend and like family to me and c) it's his minivan that does the trips. Mom loves him.

When she first brought it up, I told her I'd discuss it with the roommate and we'd let her know. Then yesterday when I made the Mother's Day call, she told me she let "D" across the street know I was coming and how "D" was so excited, so I had to tell her to not do that because we don't know when we're coming.

She called me back later on and said they ("they" being her and her boyfriend) understood if we had to wait till it was cooler weather, but she said it in the "sad Mom voice", then proceeded to tell me that her boyfriend isn't doing well. I'll have to call someone else down there to find out how he's actually doing.

Last night I told my roommate that since it's really up to him (being the driver and van owner and all), he should make this a little easier on me and give me an answer I can pass along. So it's been decided that I will tell her, "We'll see you for Christmas."

I love my mom, I do. And it's probably hard to understand my issues with all this without knowing more of the history.

/rant

[dsvick]

Originally Posted by wyndslash

i especially hate that many people automatically equate gay people with pedophiles. ugh. disgusting.

huh!? Wait, I thought you said they were all porn stars? Quit changing things I'm getting confused

I think your approach is best, when it starts getting to be too much jsut step out of the room/discussion entirely. I do that as well with some people around here, they have their opinions and refuse to listen to anyone else's or any sort of logic to the contrary. If the bible/quack doctor/email hoax said it - it must be true, and no amount of facts will change their mind.

Originally Posted by CWatkinsNash

I love my mom, I do. And it's probably hard to understand my issues with all this without knowing more of the history.

Moms are like that. It sounds like there are other issues involved there and I hope you get them worked our, or that they at least don't impact your visit. On the other hand it didn't sound like she was being deliberately manipulative/obtuse either. Just take it as the honest, genuine offer she meant it as. Have fun on your trips and tell the roommate thanks

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by CWatkinsNash

tl;dr

...

Does the term "passive aggressive" ring any bells with you? Going from what you hint at and the example given, it sounds like you might have a tad of experience with it with your mother. If so...[hugs] you and me both, sister.

Cheers,
Marc (with a PA Mum and sibling disciples)

[CWatkinsNash]

Originally Posted by dsvick

Moms are like that. It sounds like there are other issues involved there and I hope you get them worked our, or that they at least don't impact your visit. On the other hand it didn't sound like she was being deliberately manipulative/obtuse either. Just take it as the honest, genuine offer she meant it as. Have fun on your trips and tell the roommate thanks

Believe me, I thank my roommate on a regular basis. As for my mom, I wouldn't say she's doing it deliberately; it's more like she's forgotten there's any other way of doing things.

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Does the term "passive aggressive" ring any bells with you? Going from what you hint at and the example given, it sounds like you might have a tad of experience with it with your mother. If so...[hugs] you and me both, sister.

Cheers,
Marc (with a PA Mum and sibling disciples)

Thanks, Marc. Yes, definitely PA, and she's quite a "reality bender" as well. I actually have to check early childhood memories with a third party because I'm sometimes not sure if I'm remembering what really happened or just her version of it. On more than one occasion she's caused me to question my own sanity. Heck, my biological grandfather, who I never met, has changed nationalities three times. I wanted to anonymously call his "other" family and settle the matter once and for all, but this last time she went with Italian and that's cool, so I let it go.

She is who she is. When she still lived up in Pennsylvania, I used to fly up every fall and we'd take a trip to Atlantic City. We had fun there, we seemed almost normal on those trips. I miss that so much. But now I know that she didn't take those trips to be with me, she was doing it to get away from my Dad for a week.

Oops. Got morose. Sorry. I'm done now.

[bjones6416]

tl;dr

over on Ravelry we call these long involved posts "teal deer."

(Or maybe that's used on other forums too? Not sure.)

And hugs about the situation with your mother.

[CWatkinsNash]

Originally Posted by bjones6416

tl;dr

over on Ravelry we call these long involved posts "teal deer."

(Or maybe that's used on other forums too? Not sure.)

And hugs about the situation with your mother.

LOL and thanks. On another forum I used to drop in on, they found it odd that I'd tl;dr my own posts if they got too long. "How are we supposed to snark on you if you already tl;dr your post?" I thought about putting middle details behind a spoiler tag but I'm not that organized.

[wyndslash]

moms are a piece of work :P

and oh dear...father's day is coming up soon *bangs head* now, my father is another story @_@

[phenomshel]

Originally Posted by bjones6416

tl;dr

over on Ravelry we call these long involved posts "teal deer."

(Or maybe that's used on other forums too? Not sure.)

And hugs about the situation with your mother.

I had to look it up, thought it was a typo at first, then saw Betty's post and couldn't figure out teal deer.... I'll have to start using it, as I'm known for rambling...

[wodin]

Originally Posted by bjones6416

tl;dr

over on Ravelry we call these long involved posts "teal deer."

(Or maybe that's used on other forums too? Not sure.)

And hugs about the situation with your mother.

Originally Posted by CWatkinsNash

LOL and thanks. On another forum I used to drop in on, they found it odd that I'd tl;dr my own posts if they got too long. "How are we supposed to snark on you if you already tl;dr your post?" I thought about putting middle details behind a spoiler tag but I'm not that organized.

Karma to you guys for suggesting my new avatar!

[CWatkinsNash]

Originally Posted by wodin

Karma to you guys for suggesting my new avatar!

*gasp*

Brilliant!! Between that and the joke thread, this place has totally cheered me up today.

[Freeshadow]

I had to look up the tl;dr abbrev. too (good thing)

@wyndlash I have absolutely no troubles with sexual orientations different to mine,
I was just making a bit fun of the fact that you prefer gay-lit for reading, because it seems to me that you 're at least a bit afraid of hetero men.

(it was you who said in some thread you hoped all male MRers were gays )

See we aren't that bad - some of us even don't bite if the girl in question doesn't like it

[dreams]

Originally Posted by phenomshel

I had to look it up, thought it was a typo at first, then saw Betty's post and couldn't figure out teal deer.... I'll have to start using it, as I'm known for rambling...

I had to look it up also. But, I'm not sure I understand. Do you use it only on your own posts? Why? To warn people to not read your post, because you didn't read it again yourself? It seems that it would be rude to post it about someone else, if you were responding to them? Or am I missing what it really means?

[CWatkinsNash]

Originally Posted by dreams

I had to look it up also. But, I'm not sure I understand. Do you use it only on your own posts? Why? To warn people to not read your post, because you didn't read it again yourself? It seems that it would be rude to post it about someone else, if you were responding to them? Or am I missing what it really means?

It can be used by someone else to state "too long, didn't read" but I've also seen it used (and used it myself) self-deprecatingly to say "too long, don't read". Kind of a pre-emptive "Yes, I know it's too long."

[nohmi2]

Originally Posted by dreams

I had to look it up also. But, I'm not sure I understand. Do you use it only on your own posts? Why? To warn people to not read your post, because you didn't read it again yourself? It seems that it would be rude to post it about someone else, if you were responding to them? Or am I missing what it really means?

I thought that it was a typo to begin with.

Where did it originate from?

Cheers

[CWatkinsNash]

Originally Posted by nohmi2

I thought that it was a typo to begin with.

Where did it originate from?

Cheers

I'm not sure where it came from originally, but there's some background at Know Your Meme: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/tldr