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Old 02-28-2011, 04:24 PM   #15991
Mortis
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No, but it can be a decision that crystallizes over time.

My friend Margaret described her first realization something was wrong when she had to leave a showing of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" back in the 70's when she was still male. It aroused tangled emotions she couldn't deal with, but she didn't really know what was wrong. She was married and stayed married long enough to sire and mostly raise two kids before she finally came to the realization that she really wanted to be female, and started looking into how to go about it. Her relationship with her ex-wife did not survive the process.

I doubt Dana really intended to become male all the time she and Tom were married. I believe he accepted her bi-sexuality, and I suspect (though I haven't asked) that she had occasional liaisons with other women while they were married. It wasn't until later on that the realization crystallized that she wanted to be male. She might have announced it over coffee.
______
Dennis
I think I tend to look at things very black and white.

I am sure there are very few relationships that could survive that type of stress.

I have no doubt that your friend Dana did what she thought was right and thats all that matters. I think that if he accepted her bisexuality then he probably wasn't all that surprised, who am I kidding, I'm sure that would have been a surprise.
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Old 02-28-2011, 06:02 PM   #15992
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Changing sex looks so nice on paper or on a screen. Without becoming graphical I get the impression that it is a rather grim thing in practice, and that it needs some extra work in focusing, de-focusing, field depth control, vision through tinted glasses, keeping the eyes almost shut, ... shut.
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Old 02-28-2011, 06:47 PM   #15993
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No offense Kenny but I would rather it be my ex-wife than my daughter
Hee-Hee. It was such a surreal experience. The three of us were there in daughter's hospital room and the ex had an appointment with her doctor across the street from the hospital for a cough (which daughter had/has as well). I had joked about checking the daughter out and the ex just taking the bed for a bit. Well...the ex heads over to her appointment and then the nurse comes in and says daughter is good to go as soon as they can disconnect all the tubes and get the paperwork done. Well just as they are getting paper work ready my phone rings and it's the ex. She's being wheelchaired over to the emergency room. I swear I thought it was a prank but sure enough we check daughter out, go 4 floors down and there she is...

Daughter ended up taking her car home and three hours later after first saying she needed to be admitted, they came back and checked oxygen levels again and decided she could go after some infusion of fluid....

What a wild day!

But I think they are recovering.... Thanks everyone for your concerns and good thoughts!
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Old 02-28-2011, 06:54 PM   #15994
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I am pleased that it all worked out for the best Kenny.

Cheers
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Old 02-28-2011, 07:38 PM   #15995
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Changing sex looks so nice on paper or on a screen. Without becoming graphical I get the impression that it is a rather grim thing in practice, and that it needs some extra work in focusing, de-focusing, field depth control, vision through tinted glasses, keeping the eyes almost shut, ... shut.
A close friend in Thailand has a post-op trans life partner. They've been together for the past 16 years. She is easily one of the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.

Thai 'Khatoi' are a very common sight in the Kingdom, and in so many cases, it would take a very personal close look to be able to tell. In fact, many of sailor on leave have been given a very startling surprise about the 'woman' they have escorted home from the bar!


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Old 02-28-2011, 07:40 PM   #15996
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Hee-Hee. It was such a surreal experience. The three of us were there in daughter's hospital room and the ex had an appointment with her doctor across the street from the hospital for a cough (which daughter had/has as well). I had joked about checking the daughter out and the ex just taking the bed for a bit. Well...the ex heads over to her appointment and then the nurse comes in and says daughter is good to go as soon as they can disconnect all the tubes and get the paperwork done. Well just as they are getting paper work ready my phone rings and it's the ex. She's being wheelchaired over to the emergency room. I swear I thought it was a prank but sure enough we check daughter out, go 4 floors down and there she is...

Daughter ended up taking her car home and three hours later after first saying she needed to be admitted, they came back and checked oxygen levels again and decided she could go after some infusion of fluid....

What a wild day!

But I think they are recovering.... Thanks everyone for your concerns and good thoughts!
I guess I don't need to ask about the weather, because it's obviously pouring where you are. Hang in there. My best wishes go out to your daughter, your ex, and you.
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Old 02-28-2011, 07:57 PM   #15997
DMcCunney
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mortis View Post
I think I tend to look at things very black and white.
It would be so nice if human behavior was that black and white.

Quote:
I am sure there are very few relationships that could survive that type of stress.
Agreed.

Quote:
I have no doubt that your friend Dana did what she thought was right and thats all that matters. I think that if he accepted her bisexuality then he probably wasn't all that surprised, who am I kidding, I'm sure that would have been a surprise.
Tom wasn't surprised that Dana also liked girls. He was extremely surprised that she wanted to be a boy.
______
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Old 02-28-2011, 08:09 PM   #15998
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ah, human emotions is so complex~
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Old 02-28-2011, 08:10 PM   #15999
DMcCunney
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A close friend in Thailand has a post-op trans life partner. They've been together for the past 16 years. She is easily one of the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.
I can well believe it.

Quote:
Thai 'Khatoi' are a very common sight in the Kingdom, and in so many cases, it would take a very personal close look to be able to tell. In fact, many of sailor on leave have been given a very startling surprise about the 'woman' they have escorted home from the bar!
Thailand is a favorite place to go to have that sort of surgery done. The costs are lower, and some of the Thai surgeons have a high reputation for gender reassignment work.

"Ladyboys" are indeed common, and transsexual prostitution seems common as well. Of course, that's not just in Thailand. The local entertainment papers have classified ads from pre-op M->F transsexuals offering unspecified services. Gender reassignment surgery is expensive, and earning the money to pay for it may require extraordinary measures.
______
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Old 02-28-2011, 08:11 PM   #16000
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Daughter is out .... but ex wife is in! ....SHEESH!!!!
Most would call that an improvement, some may say, considerably so!
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Old 02-28-2011, 08:20 PM   #16001
Mortis
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Kenny glad to hear things are working out.
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Old 03-01-2011, 01:33 AM   #16002
Stitchawl
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Sometimes I wonder about doctors...

I went to an Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor this morning because my left ear has been feeling quite plugged up for the last few days. I've even had to turn up the volume on my hearing aid for that ear.

So I sit down in his chair and he inspects my ear drum. (He's got a neat video hook-up so I could see it too!) Clean as a whistle! He does both sides just to check.

Then he hooks me up to the audiometer to test my hearing, which of course is really bad. I mean, why else would I be wearing hearing aids, right? After pressing the little button for three different types of tests, the computer spits out the paper which the doctors examines, turns to me and says, "Gee, you don't hear so well, do you?"

Golly, no, Doc. I just come to your office because I love your choice of magazines in the waiting room! Sheesh!


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Old 03-01-2011, 01:41 AM   #16003
beppe
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Kenny glad to hear things are working out.
the same. Now take some rest Kenny, write a poem or two, do some of your nice paintings, just relax a bit.
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Old 03-01-2011, 01:49 AM   #16004
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It would be so nice if human behavior was that black and white.
I would settle for 8-bit grayscale.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stitchawl View Post
Sometimes I wonder about doctors...

I went to an Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor this morning because my left ear has been feeling quite plugged up for the last few days. I've even had to turn up the volume on my hearing aid for that ear.

So I sit down in his chair and he inspects my ear drum. (He's got a neat video hook-up so I could see it too!) Clean as a whistle! He does both sides just to check.

Then he hooks me up to the audiometer to test my hearing, which of course is really bad. I mean, why else would I be wearing hearing aids, right? After pressing the little button for three different types of tests, the computer spits out the paper which the doctors examines, turns to me and says, "Gee, you don't hear so well, do you?"

Golly, no, Doc. I just come to your office because I love your choice of magazines in the waiting room! Sheesh!


Stitchawl
I've had hearing loss starting at 4 years old and out of the few dozen audiologists/ear nose and throat specialists, I've yet to meet even one who had anything resembling a sense of humor. Some of them have damn near atrocious bedside manner; others (like the last specialist I'd seen) were really nice. If you told me that none of them had ever laughed in their lives, however, you wouldn't have to work too hard to convince me.
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Old 03-01-2011, 01:59 AM   #16005
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Take it easy kenny !

Thinking of you ....
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