The Vent and Rant Thread

[coinín]

It's official. I have some kind of nasty virus.
Fever, sore throat, aches and fatigue.

Thank God for my ereader. I can curl up with a book and the small dog and let it pass.

[phenomshel]

Originally Posted by kennyc

Daughter will be spending the night in the hospital...hopefully better tomorrow...

Best wishes for her a speedy recovery, Kenny.

[badgoodDeb]

Originally Posted by phenomshel

Oh, and my son is going to absolutely KILL me when he finds out.

Can I have it then? Oh, I suppose since I already have one, your SON will expect to be the one to get it. Awright, awright.....

Originally Posted by desertblues

I have one and I just love it. I have (free)Dropbox for it as well, so I can instantly synchronize my docs, books and photo's between PC and iPad.

Yes indeed-- get Dropbox. Try "Emerald Time" too. Free. It'll re-sync the iPad's clock whenever you run the app.

Originally Posted by maianhvk

I'm so slim that everyone tells me I look like a boy, an old man even called me 'son'

A number of us here would envy you that slimness!

Originally Posted by kennyc

Well my daughter who had gall bladder surgery last wednesday went to the emergency room today with pain and looks like they are now wanting to admit he to the hospital...She's with her mother at the emergency room...

It's now tomorrow. How's she doing? I hope she has improved, and found nothing much to be wrong. Praying!

Originally Posted by coinín

It's official. I have some kind of nasty virus.
Fever, sore throat, aches and fatigue.

Thank God for my ereader. I can curl up with a book and the small dog and let it pass.

Ack!! I hope you feel better soon. But yes, the small dog and the reader are GREAT for those yucky times. Rest, recuperate, and read!

[WT Sharpe]

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

My family was, when I told them I was planning to be abroad...

You ain't right, bro!

[WT Sharpe]

Originally Posted by DMcCunney

...Deciding she really wanted to be male terminated the relationship. As I recall, Tom was supportive to the extent of wanting her to be happy and not trying to block it, but her decision to leave him was devastating....

That, I think, would be the most difficult part to deal with.

[Mortis]

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

That, I think, would be the most difficult part to deal with.

Really? I would think the thought that my wife wanted to become a man might be a little difficult to handle, just a little!

[DMcCunney]

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

That, I think, would be the most difficult part to deal with.

It was for him. As mentioned, he has not sought another relationship, and it's been decades. I think the possibility of trying again and failing is too terrifying to contemplate.
______
Dennis

[DMcCunney]

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

Actually, arranged marriages make up 35% of Japan's modern marriages. But they are arranged by either the bride or groom these days, rather than by the parents. One or the other will go to a marriage broker and request a mate to fill certain criteria (age, job, family status, etc.,) and the broker will set it up.

That sort of thing happens in the US, too, but it's not quite what I meant by the term. I believe the "matchmaker" is an established custom in some orthodox Jewish communities, for example.

In cultures that practice what I was referring to, the family is the critical social unit, and the society is largely composed of relationships between families. Family networks often provide services we might think of as the province of local government.

It results on occasion in practices we have problems with, like the practice in some more conservative Muslim states of stoning to death a woman who loses her virginity before marriage. In such cultures, family relationships are critical, and unmarried daughters are valuable currency in arranging desirable ties with other families. A woman who loses her virginity before marriage becomes debased currency, and in some respects threatens the social fabric that holds her society together. Her society has evolved a rather draconian policy for dealing with transgressions.

The key point is that such practices evolved to promote the survival of the society that practiced them. The effects on the individual were irrelevant.
______
Dennis

[Mortis]

Originally Posted by DMcCunney

It was for him. As mentioned, he has not sought another relationship, and it's been decades. I think the possibility of trying again and failing is too terrifying to contemplate.
______
Dennis

Seriously I think that his situation would be psychologically much worse than terrifying, think about it, the poor man had his wife tell him she wanted to be a man, I honestly can't think of anything more emasculating. I can't imagine how that conversation would go; "Honey, I love you but, well there's this little thing, I well, I want a, well you know, a, a, penis" Gun in mouth, pull trigger!

I'm shallow, sorry

[DMcCunney]

Originally Posted by Mortis

Seriously I think that his situation would be psychologically much worse than terrifying, think about it, the poor man had his wife tell him she wanted to be a man, I honestly can't think of anything more emasculating. I can't imagine how that conversation would go; "Honey, I love you but, well there's this little thing, I well, I want a, well you know, a, a, penis" Gun in mouth, pull trigger!

I don't know if she went the phalloplasty route and actually acquired a penis. Not all F->M transsexuals do. I saw an interesting photography tome a while back by a chap who was a F->M transsexual. He had a weightlifter's body and musculature, but had not had phalloplasty - he retained female genitalia.

But he considered himself to be male, and so did the woman who was his life partner. She was a lesbian, and her friend's feelings on the relationship were "It makes sense for you." Some lesbians assume a masculine role. Her lover had simply taken that about as far is it could go.

Sexual identity is a complex issue, and the motivations for transition may have more to do with the societal roles the one transitioning wishes to play than the exact nature of the genitalia.

I'm shallow, sorry

No, you're not. I'm aware of a few relationships where the male has transitioned to female and the relationship stayed intact. I haven't heard of any where the female transitioned to male and the relationship continued, and I don't really expect to. The best I would hope for is the male wishing his former partner the best in a new life elsewhere, and looking for another relationship with a female who would remain female.
______
Dennis

[Mortis]

Originally Posted by DMcCunney

I don't know of she went the phalloplasty route and actually acquired a penis. Not all F->M transsexuals do. I saw an interesting photography tome a while back by a chap who was a F->M transsexual. He had a weightlifter's body and musculature, but had not had phalloplasty - he retained female genitalia.

But he considered himself to be male, and so did the woman who was his life partner. She was a lesbian, and her friend's feelings on the relationship were "It makes sense for you." Some lesbians assume a masculine role. Her lover had simply taken that about as far is it could go.

Sexual identity is a complex issue, and the motivations for transition may have more to do with the societal roles the one transitioning wishes to play than the exact nature of the genitalia.


No, you're not. I'm aware of a few relationships where the male has transitioned to female and the relationship stayed intact. I haven't heard of any where the female transitioned to male and the relationship continued, and I don't really expect to. The best I would hope for is the male wishing his former partner the best in a new life elsewhere, and looking for another relationship with a female who would remain female.
______
Dennis

In the case you mention I think in a way she was very deceitful, if she didn't tell him at the onset of their relationship, it can't be a decision you wake up one morning and make over coffee.

[kennyc]

Daughter is out .... but ex wife is in! ....SHEESH!!!!

[DMcCunney]

Originally Posted by Mortis

In the case you mention I think in a way she was very deceitful, if she didn't tell him at the onset of their relationship, it can't be a decision you wake up one morning and make over coffee.

No, but it can be a decision that crystallizes over time.

My friend Margaret described her first realization something was wrong when she had to leave a showing of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" back in the 70's when she was still male. It aroused tangled emotions she couldn't deal with, but she didn't really know what was wrong. She was married and stayed married long enough to sire and mostly raise two kids before she finally came to the realization that she really wanted to be female, and started looking into how to go about it. Her relationship with her ex-wife did not survive the process.

I doubt Dana really intended to become male all the time she and Tom were married. I believe he accepted her bi-sexuality, and I suspect (though I haven't asked) that she had occasional liaisons with other women while they were married. It wasn't until later on that the realization crystallized that she wanted to be male. She might have announced it over coffee.
______
Dennis

[desertblues]

Originally Posted by kennyc

Daughter is out .... but ex wife is in! ....SHEESH!!!!

Kenny; best wishes

[Mortis]

No offense Kenny but I would rather it be my ex-wife than my daughter