The Vent and Rant Thread

[DMcCunney]

Originally Posted by kennyc

Don't know anything yet. Probably headed down to the hospital shortly....standing by.

Thanks everyone for all your concern.

The brother of a good friend was just in the ER for uncontrollable nausea. Gall bladder problems can produce that sort of symptom, and gall bladder trouble runs in his family. (The hospital wants to do a colonoscopy: they suspect an intestinal blockage may be the issue.)

My SO had hers removed by laparoscopy a few years back. Gall bladder trouble ran in her family, too, so she assumed it would have to happen eventually.

Crossing fingers that whatever this is, either a complication from the earlier surgery or something else entirely, that's it's easily treated and she's home quickly.
______
Dennis

[nohmi2]

Originally Posted by kennyc

Well my daughter who had gall bladder surgery last wednesday went to the emergency room today with pain and looks like they are now wanting to admit he to the hospital...She's with her mother at the emergency room...

kenny,

I am so sorry to hear that.

Please keep us posted about her progress.

Sincerely
Nohmi

[WT Sharpe]

Originally Posted by DMcCunney

<snip>...My old friend Tom was married to Dana. Dana decided she really wanted to be male, which terminated that relationship. The last I heard, Dana had done so, though I haven't seen him since he was still her and have no idea how he's getting along these days. But the process badly damaged Tom. It's been decades, but in many respects, he's still in recovery. (As I understand it, he had family issues that left him fragile going in, and simply unable to cope with the stresses involved. He's made no attempt to find another relationship - I think he's terrified of the idea.)
______
Dennis

I couldn't envision what it would be like to have my wife decide she wanted to be a man, but I'd like to think I'd be supportive if she did. It would certainly make for some big changes in my life, but I don't think it would be psychologically damaging to me, and least, beyond the damage that's already evident. Then again, I can't really say, having never been there. It would certainly be a test of "'till death do you part."

The story of your friends would make a great novel.

[Stitchawl]

Originally Posted by kennyc

Don't know anything yet. Probably headed down to the hospital shortly....standing by.

We're all on the sidelines, with prayers on our lips.

Originally Posted by DMcCunney

It could be worse. Consider cultures where the "arranged marriage" is the norm.

Actually, arranged marriages make up 35% of Japan's modern marriages. But they are arranged by either the bride or groom these days, rather than by the parents. One or the other will go to a marriage broker and request a mate to fill certain criteria (age, job, family status, etc.,) and the broker will set it up.

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

I couldn't envision what it would be like to have my wife decide she wanted to be a man, but I'd like to think I'd be supportive if she did.

My family was, when I told them I was planning to be abroad...




Stitchawl

[wyndslash]

one of my classmates from my first degree had an arranged marriage right after college. she wanted to get married, just to a different guy xD; i don't know what's become of her now.

most of my mom's sisters had arranged marriages too, but the guys are okay and they're still together. not because they feel a great attraction to each other, but probably because in their own way, they're content. sometimes i think that's better than having an "unbearable passion" and divorcing one after the other. ah well. they're probably too tired to look for someone else, anyway xD most Chinese preoccupy themselves with business, and they're no different.

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

My family was, when I told them I was planning to be abroad...




Stitchawl

hmm my parents would have a heart attack if i told them that. my mom would start scaring me about being raped. for some reason she likes using that @_@ god, we're all so repressed (my family, i mean).

woah, saw some chilling news on yahoo *shudder* then again why am i surprised...

[DMcCunney]

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

I couldn't envision what it would be like to have my wife decide she wanted to be a man, but I'd like to think I'd be supportive if she did. It would certainly make for some big changes in my life, but I don't think it would be psychologically damaging to me, and least, beyond the damage that's already evident. Then again, I can't really say, having never been there. It would certainly be a test of "'till death do you part."

In Dana's case, I believe she was bi-sexual when she and Tom married, and had been the dominant partner in her relationships with other women. I'm not sure why she chose to marry Tom, save that getting married was what you did when you were a woman of her generation and class. She was likely not prepared to come out as a Lesbian, and may not have thought of herself in that manner. Tom was a quiet and easy going chap who had (and still has) an aversion to conflict. He's the sort of fellow who will put up with more than he probably should because he's reluctant to open his mouth and openly object. She may have seen Tom as a reasonable compromise if she had to marry, because he was willing to accept her as she was.

Deciding she really wanted to be male terminated the relationship. As I recall, Tom was supportive to the extent of wanting her to be happy and not trying to block it, but her decision to leave him was devastating. At one point after they parted, I met her and her new male lover. She was still female, but my understanding was that she still planned to transition to male, and her lover would transition to female, whereupon they would become husband and wife. That part didn't happen: I think her lover decided he was happy being male, thank you. I believe Dana is in CA these days, but I've totally lost touch.

On a purely physical level, male-to-female transitions are better developed than female-to-male. Phalloplasty is a developing art, and not all F->M transsexuals choose to undergo it. Some simply have breast reduction surgery and hormone treatments to produce a more masculine body shape and musculature, forgoing attempts at creating male genitalia.

My friend Margaret enthused that "the technology is wonderful" in describing her own transition, and regretted that she hadn't had it done earlier. I commented that the technology has improved dramatically since the Christine Jorgenson days, with particular development in recent years, and if she had transitioned earlier, she might not have been as happy with the results. She agreed.

I suspect F->M technology is where M->F used to be a few decades ago.

The story of your friends would make a great novel.

IT might, but I have no plans to write it.
______
Dennis

[Freeshadow]

well I better hold back myself from writing more about relationships since it might end up in far more sarcasm than I think is apropriate to spit out.

@devilsadvocate:
As a matter of fact you are not entiteled to feel like Charlie Brown, since apart from that football thingy there is a weakness for readheads required to properly fill the role :P *grin*

[wyndslash]

weird...i was going to have my kindle order shipped to my uncle for the free shipping, then he emails me and tells me to wait since it might get cheaper...? i am confused o_o

[devilsadvocate]

Originally Posted by Freeshadow

@devilsadvocate:
As a matter of fact you are not entiteled to feel like Charlie Brown, since apart from that football thingy there is a weakness for readheads required to properly fill the role :P *grin*

My mom was a redhead; that would just be wrong.

[maianhvk]

Originally Posted by wyndslash

And sometimes my parents talk of love in a marriage as an afterthought only. Oh, they do think it's important but apparently it comes after the qualifications that the guy must be Chinese, of a certain age range and has an acceptable job. I'm just tired of it.

I feel sorry for you! It should be YOU who have the qualifications for Mr. Right, eh? Do you dare tell your parents, 'Go get married to that guy you love, I'm getting married to mine!' ??

no, that would be offensive. You should be respectful to your parents and do whatever they want you to do, just to please them because you're an Asian girl Go live your life! You'll have all the supportive members here back up for whoever you love

Originally Posted by kennyc

Well my daughter who had gall bladder surgery last wednesday went to the emergency room today with pain and looks like they are now wanting to admit he to the hospital...She's with her mother at the emergency room...

best wishes, Kenny. Hope she won't suffer much.

Originally Posted by DMcCunney

It could be worse. Consider cultures where the "arranged marriage" is the norm. Such matings are not love matches between boy and girl - they are political and economic alliances between families, made by the families for the benefit of the families. The feelings of the prospective bride and groom are not a factor in the decision, and the arrangement may have been made before the betrothed were even old enough to have feelings about it.

What you grow up in is what you consider right and proper, and folks from cultures where the arranged marriage is the norm look at marriages made for love as insanity. From their perspective, it is.
______
Dennis

Fortunately my parents are open-minded. I was surprised when I humorously said, 'I won't get married' and they were like, 'Oh that's okay, it's up to you!' - they were serious Not all the Asian parents are that 'traditional' to make their children have arranged marriage, nearly all of my friends are free to make their own choice.

Originally Posted by Freeshadow

well I better hold back myself from writing more about relationships since it might end up in far more sarcasm than I think is apropriate to spit out.

Recovery will be faster than you imagin.

[kennyc]

Daughter will be spending the night in the hospital...hopefully better tomorrow...

[vivaldirules]

Originally Posted by kennyc

Daughter will be spending the night in the hospital...hopefully better tomorrow...

That sounds positive. I hope it is.

[coinín]

Originally Posted by kennyc

Daughter will be spending the night in the hospital...hopefully better tomorrow...

Good wishes heading your way from me.

When she feels better, she'll need something good to read while she recovers!

[SolRaven]

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

My family was, when I told them I was planning to be abroad...

[SolRaven]

Originally Posted by kennyc

Well my daughter who had gall bladder surgery last wednesday went to the emergency room today with pain and looks like they are now wanting to admit he to the hospital...She's with her mother at the emergency room...

Originally Posted by kennyc

Daughter will be spending the night in the hospital...hopefully better tomorrow...

Kenny, I hope your daughter gets well quickly. Hopefully, it's something minor and just a little discomfort.