For USA-Kindle: 3 books by Elmore Hammes for $1.00 or $1.99 each

Xia · 10-30-2009, 08:18 PM

Not Fit For Human Consumption: A Comedic Farce
by Elmore Hammes
http://www.amazon.com/Not-Fit-Human-...6947578&sr=1-6
No reviews yet (new release)
$1.00

Product Description
A tale not to be taken too seriously, featuring cockroaches, genetically enhanced rats, foosball table destruction, rabbits, high school science clubs, hedgehog conspiracy theorists, military coups, adolescent bomb shelter romance and cosmic entities bent on annihilation.

Sadly, not enough beer was drunk during creation of this novel to include an airplane lavatory sex scene. Oh wait, there is one of those. But don't get your hopes up - all the good parts are left out.

The novel contains suggestive language (the PG-rated variety), and those seeking enriching literature are best served by looking elsewhere. However, if you are in the mood for a farcical comedy step right in, and meet:

Arax the Annihilator, an entity bent on destroying the earth;

Henry Stewart, member of the Hedgehog Surveillance Network, who hopes to be part of the New World Order after the government topples;

Loretta the rabbit, who just wants to hop free in a meadow after a lifetime of captivity;

Omar Sharteen, who wants to bomb his own Parliament building so the US will build a nice shiny new one;

Mortimer Johnson, president of the Mount Carmel Junior High Science Club, who fears he has betrayed Science by having a crush on Alicia Fleppe;

Peter the Cockroach, a prophet who sees cockroaches as the final survivors;

Alice Walters, widow of a fallen soldier, who discovers her husband's secret life;

June and Robert, a happy couple who might find more happiness than they can handle;

Mark Andrews, who is in an underground bunker and is afraid to push the button when nuclear war is imminent;

and a host of others, including but not limited to strippers, teachers, t-shirt vendors, bookstore clerks, football players, moths, prime ministers and cats.

The author regrets immensely not having any zombies in this book. Or monkeys. Or zombie monkeys.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Cloud
by Elmore Hammes
http://www.amazon.com/The-Cloud/dp/B...6947395&sr=1-4
~4 out of 5 stars, based on 5 reviews
$1.99

Product Description
A story of hope, love and redemption set against the stars.
An unstoppable cloud hurtles through the cosmos, annihilating all life in its path, absorbing the energy of living creatures as it passes from system to system.

A lone survivor of an advanced civilization is rocketed from his doomed planet in an attempt to preserve a race, heading toward the solar system and the green-blue orb called Earth. A simple farm girl holds the key to stopping the approaching menace, but she must find her way to love to do so.

With a beginning inspired by Superman and pulp fiction such as Flash Gordon, the story then transitions into modern space opera.

The Cloud is a science fiction romance with action and adventure, appropriate for teenage readers and above.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Twenty Dollar Bill
by Elmore Hammes
http://www.amazon.com/The-Twenty-Dol...6947830&sr=1-3
~4.5 stars out of 5, based on 11 reviews
$1.99

Product Description
Follow the path of a twenty dollar bill as it is stolen, given, spent or otherwise passed from person to person, traveling from place to place.

No bombastic explosions, steamy sex scenes, political intrigue or cosmic encounters. Just slices of life from the people you walk by every day - glimpses into how ordinary people interact, how they think, how they feel and how they love.

A contemporary novel exploring every day interactions and relationships.

Xia · 10-30-2009, 08:25 PM

Whoops, I forgot to include this one. So there are actually 4 books by this author available for less than $2 each.

The Holmes and Watson Mysterious Events and Objects Consortium: The Case of the Witch's Talisman
by Elmore Hammes
http://www.amazon.com/Holmes-Watson-...6948501&sr=1-1
4 stars out of 5, based on 11 reviews
$1.99

Product Description
Kevin and Ginny are best friends. They enjoy spending their summer vacations exploring Sharper's Woods, coming up with neat experiments, pretending to be Sherlock Holmes and Mister Watson, and sometimes just sitting in the clubhouse of The Holmes and Watson Mysterious Events and Objects Consortium. They are the only members of the club, but that doesn't stop them from having fun.

Sometimes their exploring gets them into trouble, either for going somewhere they shouldn't have or by finding something that was better left unfound. In this case, it is a strange metal object, a talisman, which calls forth, unbeknownst to Kevin and Ginny, a powerful witch. The kids do know that weird events have been happening in their small town. Animals have been found dead, and then they disappear. The metal object they found has a strange effect on Ginny when she touches it. It will take all their detective skills and courage to solve the mystery, and to defeat the witch once they realize who they are up against.

10-30-2009, 08:18 PM	#1
Xia Zealot Posts: 148 Karma: 1112 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Insomnia Device: Kindle 1 (x2)	For USA-Kindle: 3 books by Elmore Hammes for $1.00 or $1.99 each Not Fit For Human Consumption: A Comedic Farce by Elmore Hammes http://www.amazon.com/Not-Fit-Human-...6947578&sr=1-6 No reviews yet (new release) $1.00 Product Description A tale not to be taken too seriously, featuring cockroaches, genetically enhanced rats, foosball table destruction, rabbits, high school science clubs, hedgehog conspiracy theorists, military coups, adolescent bomb shelter romance and cosmic entities bent on annihilation. Sadly, not enough beer was drunk during creation of this novel to include an airplane lavatory sex scene. Oh wait, there is one of those. But don't get your hopes up - all the good parts are left out. The novel contains suggestive language (the PG-rated variety), and those seeking enriching literature are best served by looking elsewhere. However, if you are in the mood for a farcical comedy step right in, and meet: Arax the Annihilator, an entity bent on destroying the earth; Henry Stewart, member of the Hedgehog Surveillance Network, who hopes to be part of the New World Order after the government topples; Loretta the rabbit, who just wants to hop free in a meadow after a lifetime of captivity; Omar Sharteen, who wants to bomb his own Parliament building so the US will build a nice shiny new one; Mortimer Johnson, president of the Mount Carmel Junior High Science Club, who fears he has betrayed Science by having a crush on Alicia Fleppe; Peter the Cockroach, a prophet who sees cockroaches as the final survivors; Alice Walters, widow of a fallen soldier, who discovers her husband's secret life; June and Robert, a happy couple who might find more happiness than they can handle; Mark Andrews, who is in an underground bunker and is afraid to push the button when nuclear war is imminent; and a host of others, including but not limited to strippers, teachers, t-shirt vendors, bookstore clerks, football players, moths, prime ministers and cats. The author regrets immensely not having any zombies in this book. Or monkeys. Or zombie monkeys. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Cloud by Elmore Hammes http://www.amazon.com/The-Cloud/dp/B...6947395&sr=1-4 ~4 out of 5 stars, based on 5 reviews $1.99 Product Description A story of hope, love and redemption set against the stars. An unstoppable cloud hurtles through the cosmos, annihilating all life in its path, absorbing the energy of living creatures as it passes from system to system. A lone survivor of an advanced civilization is rocketed from his doomed planet in an attempt to preserve a race, heading toward the solar system and the green-blue orb called Earth. A simple farm girl holds the key to stopping the approaching menace, but she must find her way to love to do so. With a beginning inspired by Superman and pulp fiction such as Flash Gordon, the story then transitions into modern space opera. The Cloud is a science fiction romance with action and adventure, appropriate for teenage readers and above. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Twenty Dollar Bill by Elmore Hammes http://www.amazon.com/The-Twenty-Dol...6947830&sr=1-3 ~4.5 stars out of 5, based on 11 reviews $1.99 Product Description Follow the path of a twenty dollar bill as it is stolen, given, spent or otherwise passed from person to person, traveling from place to place. No bombastic explosions, steamy sex scenes, political intrigue or cosmic encounters. Just slices of life from the people you walk by every day - glimpses into how ordinary people interact, how they think, how they feel and how they love. A contemporary novel exploring every day interactions and relationships.

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10-30-2009, 08:25 PM	#2
Xia Zealot Posts: 148 Karma: 1112 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Insomnia Device: Kindle 1 (x2)	Whoops, I forgot to include this one. So there are actually 4 books by this author available for less than $2 each. *The Holmes and Watson Mysterious Events and Objects Consortium: The Case of the Witch's Talisman* by Elmore Hammes http://www.amazon.com/Holmes-Watson-...6948501&sr=1-1 4 stars out of 5, based on 11 reviews $1.99 Product Description Kevin and Ginny are best friends. They enjoy spending their summer vacations exploring Sharper's Woods, coming up with neat experiments, pretending to be Sherlock Holmes and Mister Watson, and sometimes just sitting in the clubhouse of The Holmes and Watson Mysterious Events and Objects Consortium. They are the only members of the club, but that doesn't stop them from having fun. Sometimes their exploring gets them into trouble, either for going somewhere they shouldn't have or by finding something that was better left unfound. In this case, it is a strange metal object, a talisman, which calls forth, unbeknownst to Kevin and Ginny, a powerful witch. The kids do know that weird events have been happening in their small town. Animals have been found dead, and then they disappear. The metal object they found has a strange effect on Ginny when she touches it. It will take all their detective skills and courage to solve the mystery, and to defeat the witch once they realize who they are up against.

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