TOO MANY PROBLEMS: PLEASE HELP!

Dr. Drib · Today, 08:15 AM

Hi. I just joined Mobileread because I'm having some difficulty.

I just bought a book. The black-market seller assured me it would be easy to use, but I'm completely stymied. Every time I successfully swipe a page, nothing happens. There are no buttons anywhere that I can see. (I prefer buttons.)

The seller also assured me that the batteries would last forever, but I find that difficult to believe. In fact, I feel that may be the problem: The batteries have expired. In a last ditch effort to solve the problem, I decided to ask this community for a disk image of the firmware - I understand that's what every owner of something called a Kobo has to ask for.

Unfortunately, yesterday while shaking the book in an attempt to turn a page, the doorbell rang. When I went to see who was there, I was informed by the woman at the door that I do NOT own the cover and that she is the artist of that specific cover of the book I was holding. She promptly grabbed the book out of my hands and ripped the cover off, gave back the book, and then fled, all the while laughing. Stunned, I was about to close the door, when an official-looking black limousine drove into my driveway. A bald man dressed all in black and wearing black sunglasses - even though it was a cloudy day - walked briskly toward me and snatched the book out of my hands! Visibly shaken and speechless, he then told me - in perfect English, mind you! - that I had no right to read the book because I did not own it and never would own it. He was the rightful owner and always would be. He then added that my rental time had expired - before I had even purchased the book! WHAT?! He then promptly got back into his car and briskly drove away.

I'm totally flabbergasted and don't know what action to take to resolve my problem. I was told that Mobileread is a great place to ask for help, because the members are constantly squabbling and arguing over everything under the sun. Some members even argue that the earth is flat.

I apologize if this thread is in the wrong place. I don't have time to read the Posting Guidelines. I wanted to put it in the Introduce Yourself Forum, but to my dismay I discovered that almost everyone does that. I didn't want my thread to get buried in similar threads in that forum.

PLEASE HELP ME!

Terisa de morgan · Today, 08:28 AM

Sirtel · Today, 08:42 AM

I'm not sure what help you're expecting us to give. To send someone after the self-styled book owner and ascertain if he is, in fact, the owner? Why not go yourself?

Dr. Drib · Today, 09:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sirtel

I'm not sure what help you're expecting us to give. To send someone after the self-styled book owner and ascertain if he is, in fact, the owner? Why not go yourself?

I may have to do that. I understand he's currently involved in something called The Blue Moon Lunar Lender Program, where (as quoted), "Once in a blue moon, we will allow a lender to own one book of his or her choice."

I was told, only yesterday, by the black-market seller that the man in black is about to take off on his new 'Glen or Glenda' Rocket. I'm unable, however, to verify if there is any truth to his story.

But have no fear: I'm not giving up until I retrieve my book! Even if it takes me to the very end of time, my search will continue.

Martinoptic · Today, 09:54 AM

Send for the Men in Black?

cromag · Today, 12:10 PM

Let me know if you really want to get your book back. I live in Jersey -- maybe I know a guy ...

nana77 · Today, 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Drib

I understand he's currently involved in something called The Blue Moon Lunar Lender Program, where (as quoted), "Once in a blue moon, we will allow a lender to own one book of his or her choice."

But the cover (lol).

Sirtel · Today, 03:12 PM

Another problem is, would the book even be readable if you managed to get it back or will the text have automagically changed to Klingon or Ancient Sumerian? I mean, apparently you no longer have any right to read the book, so the content presumably won't be legible for you.

DNSB · Today, 06:07 PM

Would Enochian be a better choice for the text? After all, it's what the language of Angels uses.

Sirtel · Today, 06:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DNSB

Would Enochian be a better choice for the text? After all, it's what the language of Angels uses.

Depends on the text, I guess. Maybe it's porn...

DNSB · Today, 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sirtel

Depends on the text, I guess. Maybe it's porn...

Ahh.. but Enochian is also used by fallen angels!

Sirtel · Today, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DNSB

Ahh.. but Enochian is also used by fallen angels!

Do angels even have genders?

DNSB · Today, 07:10 PM

Of course, they do. How else would nephilim and cambions exist?

Sirtel · Today, 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DNSB

Of course, they do. How else would nephilim and cambions exist?

By cloning the embryo?

Dr. Drib · Today, 07:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cromag

Let me know if you really want to get your book back. I live in Jersey -- maybe I know a guy ...

I know a guy who actually knows that guy! That's wild!

Today, 08:15 AM	#1
Dr. Drib Grand Sorcerer Posts: 46,087 Karma: 61395365 Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Peru Device: KINDLE: Oasis 3, Scribe (1st), Matcha; KOBO: Libra 2, Libra Colour	TOO MANY PROBLEMS: PLEASE HELP! Hi. I just joined Mobileread because I'm having some difficulty. I just bought a book. The black-market seller assured me it would be easy to use, but I'm completely stymied. Every time I successfully swipe a page, nothing happens. There are no buttons anywhere that I can see. (I prefer buttons.) The seller also assured me that the batteries would last forever, but I find that difficult to believe. In fact, I feel that may be the problem: The batteries have expired. In a last ditch effort to solve the problem, I decided to ask this community for a disk image of the firmware - I understand that's what every owner of something called a Kobo has to ask for. Unfortunately, yesterday while shaking the book in an attempt to turn a page, the doorbell rang. When I went to see who was there, I was informed by the woman at the door that I do NOT own the cover and that she is the artist of that specific cover of the book I was holding. She promptly grabbed the book out of my hands and ripped the cover off, gave back the book, and then fled, all the while laughing. Stunned, I was about to close the door, when an official-looking black limousine drove into my driveway. A bald man dressed all in black and wearing black sunglasses - even though it was a cloudy day - walked briskly toward me and snatched the book out of my hands! Visibly shaken and speechless, he then told me - in perfect English, mind you! - that I had no right to read the book because I did not own it and never would own it. He was the rightful owner and always would be. He then added that my rental time had expired - before I had even purchased the book! WHAT?! He then promptly got back into his car and briskly drove away. I'm totally flabbergasted and don't know what action to take to resolve my problem. I was told that Mobileread is a great place to ask for help, because the members are constantly squabbling and arguing over everything under the sun. Some members even argue that the earth is flat. I apologize if this thread is in the wrong place. I don't have time to read the Posting Guidelines. I wanted to put it in the Introduce Yourself Forum, but to my dismay I discovered that almost everyone does that. I didn't want my thread to get buried in similar threads in that forum. PLEASE HELP ME! Last edited by Dr. Drib; Today at 09:04 AM. Reason: 'not' to 'no' / 'was' to 'is'

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Today, 08:28 AM	#2
Terisa de morgan Grand Sorcerer Posts: 6,791 Karma: 13151503 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Madrid, Spain Device: Kobo Clara/Aura One/Forma,XiaoMI 5, iPad, Huawei MediaPad, YotaPhone 2

Today, 08:42 AM	#3
Sirtel Grand Sorcerer Posts: 15,287 Karma: 247605191 Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Estonia Device: Kobo Sage & Libra 2	I'm not sure what help you're expecting us to give. To send someone after the self-styled book owner and ascertain if he is, in fact, the owner? Why not go yourself?

Today, 09:54 AM	#5
Martinoptic Bibliophist Posts: 8,617 Karma: 7333025 Join Date: Dec 2021 Location: England Device: none	Send for the Men in Black?

Today, 12:10 PM	#6
cromag Surfin the alpha waves ~~ Posts: 27,815 Karma: 459772579 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: New Jersey Device: Jetbook Lite & Mini, Nook STR, Kobo, Hanvon N516, Kindle 2, Androids	Let me know if you really want to get your book back. I live in Jersey -- maybe I know a guy ...

Today, 03:12 PM	#8
Sirtel Grand Sorcerer Posts: 15,287 Karma: 247605191 Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Estonia Device: Kobo Sage & Libra 2	Another problem is, would the book even be readable if you managed to get it back or will the text have automagically changed to Klingon or Ancient Sumerian? I mean, apparently you no longer have any right to read the book, so the content presumably won't be legible for you.

Today, 06:07 PM	#9
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 52,519 Karma: 180945220 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Would Enochian be a better choice for the text? After all, it's what the language of Angels uses.

Today, 07:10 PM	#13
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 52,519 Karma: 180945220 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Of course, they do. How else would nephilim and cambions exist?

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