Dumb book blurbs

[Ricky D'Angelo]

This one is on my kindle w/ special offers. . almost makes me want to pay to take it off.

"An edge -of-your seat suspense novel . . Read it with the lights on!"

As opposed to reading it in the dark!??! Oh wait, the novel is called In the Dark. . now I get it. . . still dumb.

Does anyone have any more examples of dumb book blurbs?

[ZodWallop]

I don't have a particular blurb, but as a horror reader, I got tired of every single writer tht put out a book being labelled "The next Stephen King."

[Apache]

Originally Posted by ZodWallop

I don't have a particular blurb, but as a horror reader, I got tired of every single writer tht put out a book being labelled "The next Stephen King."

Were you around when Bruce Lee died? Every martial arts movie featured the next Bruce Lee.
Apache

[Dr. Drib]

Originally Posted by Ricky D'Angelo

This one is on my kindle w/ special offers. . almost makes me want to pay to take it off.

"An edge -of-your seat suspense novel . . Read it with the lights on!"

As opposed to reading it in the dark!??! Oh wait, the novel is called In the Dark. . now I get it. . . still dumb.

Does anyone have any more examples of dumb book blurbs?

First of all, I don't think sitting on the edge of my seat would be a comfortable position.

Second, since I have a front-lit reader, I no longer need to have the lights on.

Yes, these blurb writers are pretty dumb.

[Dr. Drib]

Originally Posted by Apache

Were you around when Bruce Lee died? Every martial arts movie featured the next Bruce Lee.
Apache

You mean, like....as in a zombie?!

[FizzyWater]

There was a small kerfuffel in the romance readers community when this blurb showed up on the cover of Kinley MacGregor historical romances:

Kinley MacGregor writes fantasy the way I would.
--Sherrilyn Kenyon

Kinley MacGregor is a pseudonym for Sherrilyn Kenyon.

Some people thought it was funny; some were horrified and felt she was being deceptive.

[meeera]

Originally Posted by FizzyWater

Kinley MacGregor is a pseudonym for Sherrilyn Kenyon.

Some people thought it was funny; some were horrified and felt she was being deceptive.

It sounds entirely truthful to me...

[ZodWallop]

Originally Posted by Apache

Were you around when Bruce Lee died? Every martial arts movie featured the next Bruce Lee.
Apache

Oh yeah. And up-and-coming bands are still "the next Beatles."

Once an artist becomes so synonymous with something that others are compared to them, you know that that artist has accomplished something unique.

[ZodWallop]

Originally Posted by FizzyWater

There was a small kerfuffel in the romance readers community when this blurb showed up on the cover of Kinley MacGregor historical romances:

Kinley MacGregor writes fantasy the way I would.
--Sherrilyn Kenyon

Kinley MacGregor is a pseudonym for Sherrilyn Kenyon.

Some people thought it was funny; some were horrified and felt she was being deceptive.

Stephen King is about to release a kid's book called Charlie The Choo Choo under the pen name Beryl Evans. He has a blurb on the cover that says: "If I were ever to write a children's book, it would be just like this!" -Stephen King

I doubt anyone will be mad there. The whole thing is sort of an elaborate in-joke on his Dark Tower books.

[ZodWallop]

Originally Posted by Dr. Drib

First of all, I don't think sitting on the edge of my seat would be a comfortable position.

You'll pay for the whole seat, but you'll only use the edge! said every Motocross and monster truck commercial ever.

[barryem]

I don't have special offers but I read a lot of blurbs about books and I think the phrase I'm most bothered by is "perfect for fans of SOME AUTHOR". I generally stop reading a blurb when I encounter that one.

Barry

[Cinisajoy]

Originally Posted by barryem

I don't have special offers but I read a lot of blurbs about books and I think the phrase I'm most bothered by is "perfect for fans of SOME AUTHOR". I generally stop reading a blurb when I encounter that one.

Barry

Any new author that puts FAMOUS NAME in their blurb gets an immediate no thanks from me.
This book for example would not be bought.
https://www.amazon.com/Mash-Up-Joe-K...dp/B00I2E19Q0/

Reason 1 the cover is a take off on the original Mash.
Reason 2 the author's name is a take off on a name.
Reason 3 it is a detective novel so nothing to do with the title or cover
Reason 4 he paid at least $800 for his editorial reviews

Reason 5. The entire thing smacks of trying to profit off someone else's success.

Yes it is self published.

[pwalker8]

Originally Posted by Apache

Were you around when Bruce Lee died? Every martial arts movie featured the next Bruce Lee.
Apache

I even remember seeing an actor named Bruce Li in a few movies.

[JSWolf]

This is a really bad start to the description of a book.

During the Alaskan gold rush, a woman pursues a destiny that will change the world in this alternate-history novel from a sci-fi legend.

In the tradition of Robert Heinlein (Starship Troopers, Stranger in a Strange Land), multiple Hugo and Nebula Award winner Joe Haldeman set a new standard for military science fiction and hard sci-fi with The Forever War and his phenomenal Worlds series. Now the Science Fiction Writers of America Grand Master dabbles brilliantly in alternate-history fiction with the world-altering adventures of a remarkable woman during the gold rush in late nineteenth-century Alaska.

If the author is so wonderful, why does he have to be compared to Heinlein?

[JSWolf]

What I find rather stupid is having the review blurbs in an eBook I already have. I'm not going to read a book based on a bunch of annoying review blurbs.