Stop naming books "The <profession>'s <relation>"!!!

[JDK1962]

I'd like to boldly suggest a moratorium on all book titles of the form The <profession>'s <relation>. It has become, as Morpheus would say, a splinter in my brain. Plus, it makes me think any writer who deliberately uses it now is a tool.

Let's go to the phones, shall we? Let's take "wife" first. An far from complete list:

The Doctor's Wife (1864; 1976; 1978)
The Rector's Wife (1991)
The Pilot's Wife (1996)
The Magician's Wife (1997)
The Astronaut's Wife (1999)
The Samurai's Wife (2000)
The Prisoner's Wife (2000)
The Captain's Wife (2001)
The Sniper's Wife (2002)
The Mapmaker's Wife (2004)
The Saddlemaker's Wife (2006)
The Zookeeper's Wife (2007)
The Senator's Wife (2008)
The Diplomat's Wife (2008)
The Dopeman's Wife (2009) -- don't ask me what a "dopeman" is. I'm not going to read it.
The Pastor's Wife (2009)
The Witch Doctor's Wife (2009)
The Centurion's Wife (2010)
The Sea Captain's Wife (2010)
The Baker's Wife (2011)
The Soldier's Wife (2011)
The Shoemaker's Wife (2012)
The Sultan's Wife (2012)
The Governor's Wife (2012)
The Reverend's Wife (2012)
The Anatomist's Wife (2012)
The Aviator's Wife (2013)
etc...etc...etc...

(I have avoided books in the above list that are close, but not actually professions, e.g. Time-Traveller, Werewolf, Traitor, Tiger.)

Ok, as Willow famously said near the end of Season 6, "Bored now." Let's move on. Daughter?

The Captain's Daughter (1833)
The General's Daughter (1992)
The Ringmaster's Daughter (2000)
The Bonesetter's Daughter (2001)
The Memory Keeper's Daughter (2005)
The Preacher's Daughter (2005)
The Wedding Planner's Daughter (2005)
The Bishop's Daughter (2006)
The Gravedigger's Daughter (2007)
The Witch's Daughter (2008)
The Virgin Queen's Daughter (2008)
The Musician's Daughter (2008)
The Apothecary's Daughter (2009)
The Calligrapher's Daughter (2009)
The Concubine's Daughter (2009)
The Merchant's Daughter (2011)
The Rock Star's Daughter (2011)
The Baker's Daughter (2012) -- bet she was rolling in dough...sorry, couldn't resist...
The Bloodletter's Daughter (2012)
The Kingmaker's Daughter (2012)
The Tutor's Daughter (2013)
etc...etc...etc...

("Virgin queen" seemed like an actual profession, as opposed to say "demon trapper" so I left it in.)

Note in both cases that the use of the form speeds up as indie publishing kicks in.

Ok, really bored now. "Husband," "Son," "Uncle," "Aunt," and "Father's Brother's Nephew's Cousin's Former Roomate" are left as exercises for those who are really, really, really trying to find a purpose in their life.

My point is that, if I see a title of that form, here, now, in 2013, my thoughts are best summed up by another "Spaceballs" reference, spoken by Dark Helmet, upon hearing that the combination for the planetary defense system is 1-2-3-4-5:

"That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard in my life! That's the kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage!"

So...if YOU are an author, and you have the urge to name your book The <profession>'s <relation>...for the love of god, please don't. Please. Take a walk around the block, or a high colonic, or something, and think some more. A little civilization, that's all I'm asking for here.

Coming soon: my rant on jackass authors who feel they simply have to give their magnum opus the exact same title as an existing (very famous) book because "it just couldn't have been called anything else." Not even talking about Dan Brown here...I mean, no one in their right mind looking for DanTE's Inferno will accidentally purchase DanBROWN's Inferno....

[Catlady]

So I'm not the only one who has noticed the rampant proliferation of these kinds of titles recently. The overwhelming majority seem to be defining a woman by her relationship to a man, which I find somewhat irksome.

[Ken Maltby]

Originally Posted by Catlady

So I'm not the only one who has noticed the rampant proliferation of these kinds of titles recently. The overwhelming majority seem to be defining a woman by her relationship to a man, which I find somewhat irksome.

They are also too often Romance Books, likely encountered while waiting in
the checkout line. They may also be purchased, overwhelmingly by female readers.

Where it is not a Romance book the individual referenced in such a title is
often a murder victim, in a Mystery novel.

Luck;
Ken

[DiapDealer]

Oh the horror!

[AndrewH]

Does <relation> include Apprentice, or just familial relations?

[Catlady]

Originally Posted by Ken Maltby

They are also too often Romance Books, likely encountered while waiting in
the checkout line. They may also be purchased, overwhelmingly by female readers.

Where it is not a Romance book the individual referenced in such a title is
often a murder victim, in a Mystery novel.

Luck;
Ken

A lot of them are mainstream fiction, rather than romance, though certainly they seemed to be aimed at female readers. That only makes it more disconcerting--why would a title that categorizes a woman by her relationship to a man be expected to appeal to a female reader?

[David Munch]

I call dips on the use of the title "The Professions Relation"!

[Bilbo1967]

You're welcome to it. I'll take "The Profession's Relation"

Originally Posted by JDK1962

I'd like to boldly suggest (...)

It sounds like you have a book here! May I suggest calling it, The Author's Reader?

[JDK1962]

Originally Posted by AndrewH

Does <relation> include Apprentice, or just familial relations?

Sorry, I was being very strict here. Just (paying) professions, and blood relations only. A bloviating critic has to have standards, after all.

[Bilbo1967]

Originally Posted by JDK1962

The Prisoner's Wife (2000)

Originally Posted by JDK1962

Sorry, I was being very strict here. Just (paying) professions, and blood relations only. A bloviating critic has to have standards, after all.

Point of order. Is "prisoner" a paying profession?

[JDK1962]

Originally Posted by Bilbo1967

Point of order. Is "prisoner" a paying profession?

Good point. I suppose I could try to wriggle out of it by saying that, if you're a prisoner, that is your "job" for the term of incarceration (maybe you're making a dollar a day making license plates).

But the point is granted. I screwed up.

Not sure if "memory keeper" is a job either, come to think of it...

Damn...my thesis is crumbling about me...

[Bilbo1967]

Originally Posted by JDK1962

Good point. I suppose I could try to wriggle out of it by saying that, if you're a prisoner, that is your "job" for the term of incarceration (maybe you're making a dollar a day making license plates).

But the point is granted. I screwed up.

Not sure if "memory keeper" is a job either, come to think of it...

Damn...my thesis is crumbling about me...

I'm sorry. Very petty of me. Your thesis stands I think.

I can conceive of a situation where somebody would pay for a memory keeper. If I was a millionaire, I may well consider paying somebody to remember where I put my car keys

[BeccaPrice]

A lot of these are Harlequin titles, and HQ readers know the flags to know what kind of book it will be by that kind of title. It's a branding kind of thing, I believe.

[DiapDealer]

I'll have you know The Dung Flinger's Third Cousin (Twice Removed) was absolutely brilliant. Riveting.