Help! Urgent! For My Colony!/Wow! I Want that!

imperceptible · 12-18-2007, 08:58 PM

Just yesterday I was swimming looking for fish when a Shark approached rather unexpectedly, causing me to swim away. So I usual I panicked and started talking at a rapid speed about what I wanted for christmas and what my chores consisted of today. Soon after the shark started to settle down and I talked to "it" for about 3 hours then the current picked up and the shark started to get restless again. He definantly not helping in my quest of finding the perfect e-reader so I could read to my off spring. Later I found out that shark wasn't alive and was infact a piece of ice shaped like a shark. So I come to you the human race to help me find the great e-reader of today. Money is not an option I am rich I own all the fish throughout the land. I even smuggle caviar past the seagulls.

Help!

The Penguin Master

imperceptible · 12-18-2007, 09:00 PM

Just yesterday I was swimming looking for fish when a Shark approached rather unexpectedly, causing me to swim away. So I usual I panicked and started talking at a rapid speed about what I wanted for christmas and what my chores consisted of today. Soon after the shark started to settle down and I talked to "it" for about 3 hours then the current picked up and the shark started to get restless again. He definantly not helping in my quest of finding the perfect e-reader so I could read to my off spring. Later I found out that shark wasn't alive and was infact a piece of ice shaped like a shark. So I come to you the human race to help me find the great e-reader of today. Money is not an option I am rich I own all the fish throughout the land. I even smuggle caviar past the seagulls.

Help!

The Penguin Master

Paulius · 12-18-2007, 09:26 PM

What... the... f**k.

Madam Broshkina · 12-18-2007, 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by imperceptible

Just yesterday I was swimming looking for fish when a Shark approached rather unexpectedly, causing me to swim away. So I usual I panicked and started talking at a rapid speed about what I wanted for christmas and what my chores consisted of today. Soon after the shark started to settle down and I talked to "it" for about 3 hours then the current picked up and the shark started to get restless again. He definantly not helping in my quest of finding the perfect e-reader so I could read to my off spring. Later I found out that shark wasn't alive and was infact a piece of ice shaped like a shark. So I come to you the human race to help me find the great e-reader of today. Money is not an option I am rich I own all the fish throughout the land. I even smuggle caviar past the seagulls.

Help!

The Penguin Master

The other day my pet shark came home after a long absence. I was so glad to see him that I held him in my arms. Strangely he felt very cold, I asked him what was wrong. He told me this strange story about an Penguin he met who droned on for hours and hours about what eReader he should buy. The shark said that he was so bored by the conversation that he turned himself into a piece of ice hoping the penguin would go away. That did the trick my shark said. Intrigued about eReaders I asked my shark which one he would buy? He stated that he would purchase the Sony PRS-505. Why not the Amazon Kindle I asked? He explained to me that he tried out the Kindle and kept accidentally turning the pages with his fins. I then asked him what his thoughts were about DRM? My shark told me that I spend to much time on MobileRead and then he suddenly turned into a piece of ice.

JohnsnowNW · 12-18-2007, 09:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paulius

What... the... f**k.

Uhh...seconded. However it did make me laugh

delphidb96 · 12-18-2007, 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by imperceptible

Just yesterday I was swimming looking for fish when a Shark approached rather unexpectedly, causing me to swim away. So I usual I panicked and started talking at a rapid speed about what I wanted for christmas and what my chores consisted of today. Soon after the shark started to settle down and I talked to "it" for about 3 hours then the current picked up and the shark started to get restless again. He definantly not helping in my quest of finding the perfect e-reader so I could read to my off spring. Later I found out that shark wasn't alive and was infact a piece of ice shaped like a shark. So I come to you the human race to help me find the great e-reader of today. Money is not an option I am rich I own all the fish throughout the land. I even smuggle caviar past the seagulls.

Help!

The Penguin Master

NAEB sells penguin-friendly Cybooks!!! (We don't care if you live in Canada, Greenland or Far-Far-Away (Antarctica)!!! We'll sell you one!

Derek

montsnmags · 12-18-2007, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paulius

What... the... f**k.

What's your problem? He's just a penguin. He wants to read. It's not difficult. How about you just answer his question rather than acting like a bigoted penguin-hating jerk. I bet it's people like you who keep the "scientific whale hunting" and "cultural" seal-clubbing going, isn't it? You make me sick!

(You know I'm joking, right?

)

Imperceptible (ah, you look so cute in your little ski outfit), first up I suggest trading some of those fish for some almighty Euro (unless you're within Whispernet range, in which case some rootin'-tootin', gangbuster greenbacks might be the go). I understand one fish is currently trading for US$1 and about 1.5 Euros, though note that these scales are slippery, and you need to wait around to hook an acceptable rate.

Once done so, well, while I might normally suggest something like the Iliad, with its extra weight from its advantageous screen size handicapping any seagull that attempts to make off with it, such an advantage does not look like a requirement for yourself. Thus, I am slightly at a loss as to what to recommend?

Do you have a need to look at full-size pdfs of ocean current forcasts as issues by major maritime departments throughout the world? Well, you might be again looking at the Iliad, though I believe the Cybook has zoom abilities. If you frequently follow schools of fish within the perimeters of Whispernet, well the convenience of ordering books on-the-go may be something that drives you towards the Kindle (take care not to lose it in the snowfields, however - it's a whiter shade of pale). If you just want a simple Reader that works to catch up on a whole lot of classic texts (Moby Dick, The Old Man And The Sea, etc.) that you've been meaning to get to, the Sony might be the trick with its "100 Free Classic Titles" offer (better double check those title-suggestions I just made though). It's got some good deals going at the moment, though I realise that with your fish-horde that money is not a problem.

Perhaps if you can elaborate on your requirements and desires more, something more suited towards your psychology, geography and meteorology can be suggested.

Either way, I love the avatar. You ever think of starring in pictures? I've heard that penguins may be popular in Hollywood at the moment...

Cheers,
Marc (I like penguins, but I couldn't eat a whole one)

ashalan · 12-19-2007, 03:15 AM

I dare say you should seriously consider buying a waterprof Aquapac for your reader

JSWolf · 12-19-2007, 08:10 AM

Since money is no object, get yourself an iLiad and enjoy. In fact, get me one too.

fugsly · 12-19-2007, 10:45 AM

Since you have all the money why don't you have one custom built? It would be waterproof, easy to turn pages for those with large flippers and smell faintly like fish to remind you of home.

And one for me too obviously for giving you the idea

Except mine would be purple and not smell like fish...

ashalan · 12-19-2007, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JSWolf

Since money is no object, get yourself an iLiad and enjoy. In fact, get me one too.

I thought it was fish, not money ... hmm, maybe I should give a shot and try to get hold of a reader in exchange for a bucket full of trout ... Bookeen or iRex might actually go for that deal.

JayCeeEll · 12-21-2007, 03:04 PM

I hope you realise that you are all nuts.

Oh no, here come the monkeys from next door after all my nuts.
Get off! Pesky things hoping around and screeching.
Becareful of the purple and yellow checkered ones, they always hide under the carpet and dig tunnels with their tails.

Cabe · 12-21-2007, 03:43 PM

Found on another forum....

imperceptible · 12-23-2007, 12:04 AM

This is urgent! I was eating ice to keep the fish fresh in my stomach so I could feed my off spring when! One of my off spring was captured! A ransome note was carved into my home and it said: "Trickle trickle every where be iggnorant if you dare" . So I started crying since Iwas bad at solving riddles and start to head inside. As I got inside I heard a loud screech."KLLLLLEAAA!!!!" I sharted faintly and confronted the holligan. It was a Shaiun. A half shark half penguin! Right then and there I found a note attached to its fin. It stated: "This is Jerup and if you don't teach him to read and right PDF'S I will keep your off spring and make him sing the national Bear anthem"! Right then and there I realized if I wanted to save my only son Pengtopa (out of 25 off spring what are the odds) I would have to teach this Shaiun to read! So I have started a quest to save my son and Pengtopia! For this quest to be completed I will need your help! I ask you the human race(even though I despise you) to help me! help yourself! Do a good deed for once! Help me find a reader! This is Pengtopia!

The Penguin Master

https://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17537

imperceptible · 12-23-2007, 12:15 AM

This is urgent! I was eating ice to keep the fish fresh in my stomach so I could feed my off spring when! One of my off spring was captured! A ransome note was carved into my home and it said: "Trickle trickle every where be iggnorant if you dare" . So I started crying since Iwas bad at solving riddles and start to head inside. As I got inside I heard a loud screech."KLLLLLEAAA!!!!" I sharted faintly and confronted the holligan. It was a Shaiun. A half shark half penguin! Right then and there I found a note attached to its fin. It stated: "This is Jerup and if you don't teach him to read and write PDF'S I will keep your off spring and make him sing the national Bear anthem"! Right then and there I realized if I wanted to save my only son Pengtopa (out of 25 off spring what are the odds) I would have to teach this Shaiun to read! So I have started a quest to save my son and Pengtopia! For this quest to be completed I will need your help! I ask you the human race(even though I despise you) to help me! help yourself! Do a good deed for once! Help me find a reader! This is Pengtopia!

The Penguin Master

12-18-2007, 08:58 PM	#1
imperceptible Banned Posts: 28 Karma: 69 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: With the penguins Device: I want to get a reader to read to my off spring.	Help! Urgent! For My Colony!/Wow! I Want that! Just yesterday I was swimming looking for fish when a Shark approached rather unexpectedly, causing me to swim away. So I usual I panicked and started talking at a rapid speed about what I wanted for christmas and what my chores consisted of today. Soon after the shark started to settle down and I talked to "it" for about 3 hours then the current picked up and the shark started to get restless again. He definantly not helping in my quest of finding the perfect e-reader so I could read to my off spring. Later I found out that shark wasn't alive and was infact a piece of ice shaped like a shark. So I come to you the human race to help me find the great e-reader of today. Money is not an option I am rich I own all the fish throughout the land. I even smuggle caviar past the seagulls. Help! The Penguin Master

12-18-2007, 09:00 PM	#2
imperceptible Banned Posts: 28 Karma: 69 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: With the penguins Device: I want to get a reader to read to my off spring.	Help! Urgent! For My Colony!/Wow! I Want that! Just yesterday I was swimming looking for fish when a Shark approached rather unexpectedly, causing me to swim away. So I usual I panicked and started talking at a rapid speed about what I wanted for christmas and what my chores consisted of today. Soon after the shark started to settle down and I talked to "it" for about 3 hours then the current picked up and the shark started to get restless again. He definantly not helping in my quest of finding the perfect e-reader so I could read to my off spring. Later I found out that shark wasn't alive and was infact a piece of ice shaped like a shark. So I come to you the human race to help me find the great e-reader of today. Money is not an option I am rich I own all the fish throughout the land. I even smuggle caviar past the seagulls. Help! The Penguin Master

12-18-2007, 09:26 PM	#3
Paulius Member Posts: 20 Karma: 42 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Montreal, Canada Device: Cybook Gen 3, Nokia 770	What... the... f*k. Last edited by Alexander Turcic; 11-19-2010 at 02:53 PM.*

12-23-2007, 12:04 AM	#14
imperceptible Banned Posts: 28 Karma: 69 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: With the penguins Device: I want to get a reader to read to my off spring.	HELP! ITS NOW OR NEVER! DONT LOOK IF YOUR SCARED OF BEARS! This is urgent! I was eating ice to keep the fish fresh in my stomach so I could feed my off spring when! One of my off spring was captured! A ransome note was carved into my home and it said: "Trickle trickle every where be iggnorant if you dare" . So I started crying since Iwas bad at solving riddles and start to head inside. As I got inside I heard a loud screech."KLLLLLEAAA!!!!" I sharted faintly and confronted the holligan. It was a Shaiun. A half shark half penguin! Right then and there I found a note attached to its fin. It stated: "This is Jerup and if you don't teach him to read and right PDF'S I will keep your off spring and make him sing the national Bear anthem"! Right then and there I realized if I wanted to save my only son Pengtopa (out of 25 off spring what are the odds) I would have to teach this Shaiun to read! So I have started a quest to save my son and Pengtopia! For this quest to be completed I will need your help! I ask you the human race(even though I despise you) to help me! help yourself! Do a good deed for once! Help me find a reader! This is Pengtopia! The Penguin Master https://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17537

12-23-2007, 12:15 AM	#15
imperceptible Banned Posts: 28 Karma: 69 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: With the penguins Device: I want to get a reader to read to my off spring.	DO NOT LOOK IF YOU ARE SCARED OF BEARS! HELP URGENT! This is urgent! I was eating ice to keep the fish fresh in my stomach so I could feed my off spring when! One of my off spring was captured! A ransome note was carved into my home and it said: "Trickle trickle every where be iggnorant if you dare" . So I started crying since Iwas bad at solving riddles and start to head inside. As I got inside I heard a loud screech."KLLLLLEAAA!!!!" I sharted faintly and confronted the holligan. It was a Shaiun. A half shark half penguin! Right then and there I found a note attached to its fin. It stated: "This is Jerup and if you don't teach him to read and write PDF'S I will keep your off spring and make him sing the national Bear anthem"! Right then and there I realized if I wanted to save my only son Pengtopa (out of 25 off spring what are the odds) I would have to teach this Shaiun to read! So I have started a quest to save my son and Pengtopia! For this quest to be completed I will need your help! I ask you the human race(even though I despise you) to help me! help yourself! Do a good deed for once! Help me find a reader! This is Pengtopia! The Penguin Master Last edited by imperceptible; 12-23-2007 at 12:18 AM.

12-19-2007, 03:15 AM	#8
ashalan Connoisseur Posts: 59 Karma: 405 Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Berne, Switzerland Device: Cybook Gen3	I dare say you should seriously consider buying a waterprof Aquapac for your reader

12-19-2007, 08:10 AM	#9
JSWolf Resident Curmudgeon Posts: 79,005 Karma: 144284074 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Roslindale, Massachusetts Device: Kobo Libra 2, Kobo Aura H2O, PRS-650, PRS-T1, nook STR, PW3	Since money is no object, get yourself an iLiad and enjoy. In fact, get me one too.

12-19-2007, 10:45 AM	#10
fugsly living dead girl Posts: 40 Karma: 10 Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Glasgow, Scotland Device: sony 505	Since you have all the money why don't you have one custom built? It would be waterproof, easy to turn pages for those with large flippers and smell faintly like fish to remind you of home. And one for me too obviously for giving you the idea Except mine would be purple and not smell like fish...

12-21-2007, 03:04 PM	#12
JayCeeEll Connoisseur Posts: 87 Karma: 204 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Exeter, Devon, UK Device: PRS-300	I hope you realise that you are all nuts. Oh no, here come the monkeys from next door after all my nuts. Get off! Pesky things hoping around and screeching. Becareful of the purple and yellow checkered ones, they always hide under the carpet and dig tunnels with their tails.

12-21-2007, 03:43 PM	#13
Cabe Connoisseur Posts: 99 Karma: 403 Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Portsmouth, UK Device: Sony PRS-505, iPhone	Found on another forum....

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