Foogle 'A Future Not Unlike Our World'

[JamesPr]

Hello,

I recently released a novella through Smashwords called Foogle, 'a Future Not Unlike our World'

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/118043

The novella is about a future where technology has become a utility service, which is US government controlled. People are told what the 'optimal choice' is in every life scenario particular to them through a worldwide social network. The novella is based upon present day technology further developed 100 years into the future. It's a novella about a future which could actually happen.

There is a 20% sample before you buy. I'd be interested to hear what people think. I am a B.S. graduate of a major university which studied IT/social media.

[ApK]

Good luck with this, James.

It sounds interesting, and I went to take a look.

With all the grammar errors on the first page of your novella's introduction, I'm not too motivated to wade through the whole sample, much less pay $7 for the rest of it.

Consider finding an editor, and offering it at MUCH lower price.

Perhaps you can find someone from the English dept there at MSU to assist.

There are also some great resources for both editorial and marketing advice here among the forum membership. Check out the Writer's Corner section.

ApK

p.s. Would I be guessing correctly that English is not your first language?

[JamesPr]

Hello,

Thank you for your response. I actually have not had any outside editing. I wrote the introduction fairly quick. The novella I know has less grammatical errors. It's difficult because I was excited to get it out. I didn't take the time to error check the grammar in the introduction.

I need to make some sort of return on this novella. Family has been on my back to do something they feel is worthwhile with my time. I barely have time to write even if I know the idea is original.

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

Originally Posted by JamesPr

I need to make some sort of return on this novella. Family has been on my back to do something they feel is worthwhile with my time. I barely have time to write even if I know the idea is original.

Well, sell enough books to show a decent return will solve that problem. But it won't happen unless the book is well-put-together. Go back and fix that intro, and do what you have to to get the rest of the book well-edited and proofed. You can actually do that job yourself, if you can't find anyone to help you; but a second pair of eyes won't hurt.