Awesome thing to do/say to a telemarketer

[dsvick]

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

I'd posted this before, but since we're on the subject again, and the post is so old the search engine can't find it, I'll post it again.

Ever been called by a telemarketer trying to sell you a deal by disguising it as a contest you've won?

I received a call one day telling me that if I could correctly answer a contest question, I'd win the opportunity to receive some kind of fantastic deal. I forget now the nature of the "bargain" I would have won, but the conversation went like this:

"Congratulations! You've been selected to participate in our [whatever the blue blazes it was they were selling] contest. If you can answer the following question correctly, you'll win [the chance to give them my hard-earned money]. Here's your question: What Southern state starts with 'a', ends with 'a', and has an 'a' in the middle?"

Excitedly, I replied, "Arkansas!"

"Sorry, sir, that doesn't end with 'a'. Try again."

"Alaska!"

"No, sir. We're looking for a Southern state."

"Mississippi!" I replied with confidence.

It was either at this point, or perhaps one or two more wrong answers that the telemarketer gave up and said (laughing), "I'm sorry, sir, you didn't win, but thanks for playing!" and hung up.

And the silly guy is probably still talking about you

[HarryT]

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

"Congratulations! You've been selected to participate in our [whatever the blue blazes it was they were selling] contest. If you can answer the following question correctly, you'll win [the chance to give them my hard-earned money]. Here's your question: What Southern state starts with 'a', ends with 'a', and has an 'a' in the middle?"

That's easy. Australia!

[WT Sharpe]

Originally Posted by HarryT

That's easy. Australia!

Silly boy. That's not a Southern State. Australia's in Europe.

[wodin]

CLICK!!

[CazMar]

We have different surnames - eg Mr Smith, Mrs Brown. When I answer they often ask if I am Mrs Smith - no, no-one of that name lives here. About 15 minutes later we'll get another call, partner answers and is asked if he is Mr Brown - no, no-one of that name here. This obviously confuses them because they don't ring back.

Also the "I can't hear you" line is good - just keep saying "what did you say?" "I can't hear you properly", bang the phone a few times. Then when they have to start their spiel again from the top and pick out a few chief word - "we have a special offer" "What's that? Office? no this isn't an office" "no, an OFFER" "Offal? Why are you selling offal?" They then just hang up in despair.

[HarryT]

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

Silly boy. That's not a Southern State. Australia's in Europe.

It's a state (in the sense of "country") and it's in the south ...

[GeoffC]

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

Silly boy. That's not a Southern State. Australia's in Europe.

[WT Sharpe]

You know, it's been about 20 years, but I think I may have mentioned Australia as one of my answers.

And, as Harry pointed out, that answer would have been correct!

[Sweetpea]

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

Here's the worst thing I ever did when a fast talking telemarketer called selling aluminum siding for the home. He began with a spiel that lasted about a minute, during which I couldn't get a word in edgewise. Then he finally took a break to ask me, not if I was interested, but, "Are you the homeowner?"

I replied, "No, but he's out in the side yard right now, and if you hold on a minute, I'll get him to the phone."

I then set the phone down without hanging it up and returned to the TV show I was watching.

I checked on the phone 30 minutes later, and he was still standing by. When I checked 30 minutes after that, he'd finally given up and hung up.

Now, that's nasty! Need to remember that

Originally Posted by FizzyWater

I don't answer the phone. Caller ID is worth the $7 per month in reduced stress.

That's not fool-proof, but it sure does help. Whenever it's an unknown number, unless I know my mother will be calling, I won't pick up.

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

Ultimate telemarketer's revenge....

Stitchawl

Yes, I knew that one, it's awesome!

Originally Posted by HarryT

They do, but in nowhere near the same numbers that I used to get them.

Moving did the trick for us

I often simply say: not interested, while they're still talking. Or, when they ask for a Mr (my last name), he doesn't live here, or a Mrs (his last name), doesn't live here either (we both kept our own last names when we got married).

One, I just couldn't hang up nicely. She wanted me to switch telephone provider because I could make cheaper phone calls with them. I kept insisting nobody could offer me cheaper phone calls. I was at the cheapest subscription at the time, which meant I had a very low monthly fee, but a high fee per minute. She kept insisting it could be cheaper. Until I told her we paid about fl5,- per month (about €2.20 euro). At which point she became silent and finally admitted defeat that they wouldn't be cheaper for me... I hardly used the phone and if I called a total of 10 minutes the entire month, it was a lot (she didn't believe me when I said we hardly used the phone...)

[LCF]

Originally Posted by Sweetpea

I often simply say: not interested, while they're still talking. Or, when they ask for a Mr (my last name), he doesn't live here, or a Mrs (his last name), doesn't live here either (we both kept our own last names when we got married).

you totally got me confused here...

[kindlekitten]

Originally Posted by LCF

you totally got me confused here...

Barbara Smith is married to Ed Jones. neither of them changed their names. if a caller asks for Mrs. Jones or Mr. Smith she responds that they do not live there

[coinín]

Yanno what gets rid of them really, really fast?

Hanging up. :P

[LCF]

Originally Posted by kindlekitten

Barbara Smith is married to Ed Jones. neither of them changed their names. if a caller asks for Mrs. Jones or Mr. Smith she responds that they do not live there

[Sweetpea]

Originally Posted by coinín

Yanno what gets rid of them really, really fast?

Hanging up. :P

Too well brought up for that, I think...


And KK, you got it!

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

Here's the worst thing I ever did when a fast talking telemarketer called selling aluminum siding for the home. He began with a spiel that lasted about a minute, during which I couldn't get a word in edgewise. Then he finally took a break to ask me, not if I was interested, but, "Are you the homeowner?"

I replied, "No, but he's out in the side yard right now, and if you hold on a minute, I'll get him to the phone."

I then set the phone down without hanging it up and returned to the TV show I was watching.

I checked on the phone 30 minutes later, and he was still standing by. When I checked 30 minutes after that, he'd finally given up and hung up.

That's pretty much what I do with all telemarketers. I just ask them if they can hold for a second while I finish something urgent, Then I put them on hold and forget about them.