Awesome thing to do/say to a telemarketer

The Terminator · 02-17-2011, 05:40 PM

Hey all, why don't we share a few awesome lines to say to the telemarketers that call at the worst possible time while your eating dinner or make you miss part of the movie, and for what? to see if your happy with your bank, take part in worthless surveys that waste your time.

So lets devote this thread to them. Come on don't be polite fight them off!!!! Interrupt them and try to sell them something useless, waste their time!

The Terminator · 02-17-2011, 05:43 PM

One of the good ones is once you know it's telemarketer quietly whimper into your phone, don't say anything just whimper, the responses you get are great

poohbear_nc · 02-17-2011, 06:11 PM

A friend of mine used to start asking what the telemarketer was wearing ... then asked the color of their underwear, etc.... The funny part was that the caller would actually answer him!

Rumpelteazer · 02-17-2011, 06:29 PM

If they call for the store I usually tell them I'm the cleaner and everyone else is out, even if they can clearly hear there are customers being helped in the store.

If they don't call for the store I usually tell them I don't have the time and that they can't call back since there isn't a "more convenient" time.

In the Netherlands you have a "don't-call-me" register if you register your phone number the telemarketers aren't allowed to call you. Also, if you haven't registered, by law they have to inform you up front that you can be taken off their list (although they never do). Since I've registered all our phone number we only get calls for the store, even though I registered those too, mostly wanting you to switch either to their ISP or phone provider.

ficbot · 02-17-2011, 06:46 PM

"I don't accept phone solicitations" and then hang up. Seriously, if you try and play games with them, you are only HELPING them. I used to work in telemarketing in university, and our success rate was calculated using a statistic called conversion rate, which was the ratio of people talked to versus how many buy. If you talk to less people, the number is higher and it ups your stats. Now, granted, if you have a ton of really long calls and no sales that can be a problem, but it you are bored (which is likely!) and want a good story to tell in the break room, you totally dig the occasional caller who plays games. All you are doing is HELPING the telemarketer!

WT Sharpe · 02-17-2011, 07:05 PM

Here's the worst thing I ever did when a fast talking telemarketer called selling aluminum siding for the home. He began with a spiel that lasted about a minute, during which I couldn't get a word in edgewise. Then he finally took a break to ask me, not if I was interested, but, "Are you the homeowner?"

I replied, "No, but he's out in the side yard right now, and if you hold on a minute, I'll get him to the phone."

I then set the phone down without hanging it up and returned to the TV show I was watching.

I checked on the phone 30 minutes later, and he was still standing by. When I checked 30 minutes after that, he'd finally given up and hung up.

stargazir · 02-17-2011, 07:28 PM

I must sound quite young on the phone because I have had "is your mum or dad home" more than once.

Recently I decided to play along and when asked if mummy or daddy could come to the phone I responded that they had left me home alone and I wasn't sure when they were coming back. They then asked who was looking after me and I explained that they hadn't organised anyone to look after me but would probably visit in about a week or so and that I hoped they would bring food. I then hung up. They didn't call back so I assume they worked out I was an adult

FizzyWater · 02-17-2011, 08:07 PM

I don't answer the phone. Caller ID is worth the $7 per month in reduced stress.

kindlekitten · 02-17-2011, 08:28 PM

DO NOT CALL LIST!!!! HUZZAH!!!!

but back in the day, handing the phone over to a child was always fun ;o)

FizzyWater · 02-17-2011, 08:36 PM

The do not call list hasn't stopped a number of people from calling me...I've been registered for years (and recently doublechecked that I was still listed). Most don't leave messages, so I don't bother to follow up to get them in trouble...but once that was highly persistent a few months ago was trying to sell me a cemetary plot (I just turned 50 - jeez!)

Stitchawl · 02-17-2011, 08:48 PM

Ultimate telemarketer's revenge....

Stitchawl

beppe · 02-18-2011, 01:36 AM

I have few standard answers depending on what is they market.

Insurance: "Too bad for you, kind lady/sir, i have to buy these things from my brother in law"

Phone services: " I am sorry I have the pasta on the stove and the baby is crying"
"It's my wife you want to talk to ..."

Wine: " I'd love to, but I just started my program with AA"

They are trying to earn a living. It is boring. Pays little. Than I think that what you do to others it comes back to you, eventually. So ...

beppe · 02-18-2011, 01:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

Ultimate telemarketer's revenge....

Stitchawl

Great. This is really entertaining.

James_Wilde · 02-18-2011, 02:45 AM

@Stitchawl - that police video was fantastic!

HarryT · 02-18-2011, 03:53 AM

In the UK there's a central register called the "Telephone Preference Service" that you can register with. It is a criminal offence for any telemarketer to call a number registered with the TPS.

Those (rare) ones that think they are above the law, I say "Would you excuse me for a moment, there's someone at the door", put the phone down, and have fun seeing how long they hang on for.

02-17-2011, 05:40 PM	#1
The Terminator Retired Posts: 2,552 Karma: 37638420 Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Vancouver Island Canada Device: Kobo Touch, Optimus One (2.3), Nexus 7 (4.2)	Awesome thing to do/say to a telemarketer Hey all, why don't we share a few awesome lines to say to the telemarketers that call at the worst possible time while your eating dinner or make you miss part of the movie, and for what? to see if your happy with your bank, take part in worthless surveys that waste your time. So lets devote this thread to them. Come on don't be polite fight them off!!!! Interrupt them and try to sell them something useless, waste their time!

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02-17-2011, 05:43 PM	#2
The Terminator Retired Posts: 2,552 Karma: 37638420 Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Vancouver Island Canada Device: Kobo Touch, Optimus One (2.3), Nexus 7 (4.2)	One of the good ones is once you know it's telemarketer quietly whimper into your phone, don't say anything just whimper, the responses you get are great

02-17-2011, 06:11 PM	#3
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 64,193 Karma: 135242149 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	A friend of mine used to start asking what the telemarketer was wearing ... then asked the color of their underwear, etc.... The funny part was that the caller would actually answer him!

02-17-2011, 06:29 PM	#4
Rumpelteazer Grand Sorcerer Posts: 5,397 Karma: 27919658 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Utrecht, the Netherlands Device: Kindle Paperwhite Signature Edition	If they call for the store I usually tell them I'm the cleaner and everyone else is out, even if they can clearly hear there are customers being helped in the store. If they don't call for the store I usually tell them I don't have the time and that they can't call back since there isn't a "more convenient" time. In the Netherlands you have a "don't-call-me" register if you register your phone number the telemarketers aren't allowed to call you. Also, if you haven't registered, by law they have to inform you up front that you can be taken off their list (although they never do). Since I've registered all our phone number we only get calls for the store, even though I registered those too, mostly wanting you to switch either to their ISP or phone provider.

02-17-2011, 06:46 PM	#5
ficbot Wizard Posts: 2,409 Karma: 4132096 Join Date: Sep 2008 Device: Kindle Paperwhite/iOS Kindle App	"I don't accept phone solicitations" and then hang up. Seriously, if you try and play games with them, you are only HELPING them. I used to work in telemarketing in university, and our success rate was calculated using a statistic called conversion rate, which was the ratio of people talked to versus how many buy. If you talk to less people, the number is higher and it ups your stats. Now, granted, if you have a ton of really long calls and no sales that can be a problem, but it you are bored (which is likely!) and want a good story to tell in the break room, you totally dig the occasional caller who plays games. All you are doing is HELPING the telemarketer!

02-17-2011, 07:05 PM	#6
WT Sharpe Bah, humbug! Posts: 39,072 Karma: 157049943 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Chesapeake, VA, USA Device: Kindle Oasis, iPad Pro, & a Samsung Galaxy S9.	Here's the worst thing I ever did when a fast talking telemarketer called selling aluminum siding for the home. He began with a spiel that lasted about a minute, during which I couldn't get a word in edgewise. Then he finally took a break to ask me, not if I was interested, but, "Are you the homeowner?" I replied, "No, but he's out in the side yard right now, and if you hold on a minute, I'll get him to the phone." I then set the phone down without hanging it up and returned to the TV show I was watching. I checked on the phone 30 minutes later, and he was still standing by. When I checked 30 minutes after that, he'd finally given up and hung up.

02-17-2011, 07:28 PM	#7
stargazir Enthusiast Posts: 45 Karma: 78 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Sydney, Australia Device: Kindle 3	I must sound quite young on the phone because I have had "is your mum or dad home" more than once. Recently I decided to play along and when asked if mummy or daddy could come to the phone I responded that they had left me home alone and I wasn't sure when they were coming back. They then asked who was looking after me and I explained that they hadn't organised anyone to look after me but would probably visit in about a week or so and that I hoped they would bring food. I then hung up. They didn't call back so I assume they worked out I was an adult

02-17-2011, 08:07 PM	#8
FizzyWater You kids get off my lawn! Posts: 4,220 Karma: 73492664 Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Columbus, Ohio Device: Oasis 2 and Libra H2O and half a dozen older models I can't let go of	I don't answer the phone. Caller ID is worth the $7 per month in reduced stress.

02-17-2011, 08:28 PM	#9
kindlekitten Professional Adventuress Posts: 13,368 Karma: 50260224 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: The Olympic Peninsula on the OTHER Washington! (the big green clean one on the west coast!) Device: Kindle, the original! Times Two! and gifting an International Kindle	DO NOT CALL LIST!!!! HUZZAH!!!! but back in the day, handing the phone over to a child was always fun ;o)

02-17-2011, 08:36 PM	#10
FizzyWater You kids get off my lawn! Posts: 4,220 Karma: 73492664 Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Columbus, Ohio Device: Oasis 2 and Libra H2O and half a dozen older models I can't let go of	The do not call list hasn't stopped a number of people from calling me...I've been registered for years (and recently doublechecked that I was still listed). Most don't leave messages, so I don't bother to follow up to get them in trouble...but once that was highly persistent a few months ago was trying to sell me a cemetary plot (I just turned 50 - jeez!)

02-17-2011, 08:48 PM	#11
Stitchawl Opsimath Posts: 12,344 Karma: 187123287 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand Device: Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350, iPad, Samsung Galaxy	Ultimate telemarketer's revenge.... Stitchawl

02-18-2011, 01:36 AM	#12
beppe Grand Sorcerer Posts: 5,161 Karma: 81026524 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Italy Device: Kindle3, Ipod4, IPad2	I have few standard answers depending on what is they market. Insurance: "Too bad for you, kind lady/sir, i have to buy these things from my brother in law" Phone services: " I am sorry I have the pasta on the stove and the baby is crying" "It's my wife you want to talk to ..." Wine: " I'd love to, but I just started my program with AA" They are trying to earn a living. It is boring. Pays little. Than I think that what you do to others it comes back to you, eventually. So ...

02-18-2011, 02:45 AM	#14
James_Wilde Guru Posts: 802 Karma: 4727110 Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Sweden Device: Iriver Story	@Stitchawl - that police video was fantastic!

02-18-2011, 03:53 AM	#15
HarryT eBook Enthusiast Posts: 85,560 Karma: 93980341 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis 2, iPad Pro 10.5", iPhone 6	In the UK there's a central register called the "Telephone Preference Service" that you can register with. It is a criminal offence for any telemarketer to call a number registered with the TPS. Those (rare) ones that think they are above the law, I say "Would you excuse me for a moment, there's someone at the door", put the phone down, and have fun seeing how long they hang on for.