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#4126 |
Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah!
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Karma: 8255450
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox
Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!
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#4127 |
Banned
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Karma: 535488
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: the Mortuary
Device: Kindle 2
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It ain't the Apocalypse until they start posting racy photos of gerbils wrapped in electrical tape.
Or Octamom gets the Nobel for genetics. |
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#4128 |
Chocolate Grasshopper ...
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Karma: 20821184
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW
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:shudders:
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#4129 |
Grand Sorcerer
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Karma: 1126878541
Join Date: Oct 2009
Device: Astak Pocket PRO, iPod Touch, PRS-650
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Modern Laws
Anthony’s Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Bell’s Theorem: As soon as the body is immersed fully in the bathtub, the telephone will ring. Breda’s Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. Cannon’s Karmic Law: If you use the excuse that you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will actually have a flat tire. Kovac’s Conundrum: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one. Lorenz’s Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. O’brien’s Variation Law: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now. Owen’s Law: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. Rubys Principle of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are in a situation where you do not want to be seen by anybody. Willoughby’s Law: When you try to prove to the repairman that a machine doesn’t work, it will. Wooly’s law: When you are working late, the boss will never be around. When you are surfing the net the boss will always drop by. Zadra’s Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reachability of the area. |
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#4130 |
Banned
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Karma: 535488
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: the Mortuary
Device: Kindle 2
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I once garroted an elf.
Not that I have anything against the pointy eared little nerbils, you understand. I really wanted to strangle a smurf. I don't know how the blue fugnuts found out, but I never saw one. So I garroted an elf. It was kinda fun. It did turn sorta blue towards the end. Gotta take what you can get sometimes, I suppose. Maybe I'll get a smurf this year. High hopes for that. But, just in case, I've got a list of alternatives. Fairy princess. Power Ranger. The pink one. "Twilight" mascara morons. Harry Potter. Twice. Anything under 4' tall, for variety. Little snots ain't gonna get away with ringing my doorbell on Halloween this year. It's my candy. And rules are rules. Trick OR Treat, right? Maybe I'll just go for the parents. I do put up a sign. "Touch my doorbell with your digit, and I'll string up your costumed midget." Fair warning, you know. Completely legal. It's trespassing. Beggary. Extortion. Won't put up with it. Just wanna watch the Vincent Price movie marathon. Have a little liquor drink to cut the phlegm. Not my job to feed other peoples genetic runoff. Nope. I really wanna strangle a smurf. I garroted an elf once, though. Last edited by recluse; 10-09-2010 at 01:38 PM. |
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#4131 |
Chocolate Grasshopper ...
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Karma: 20821184
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW
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poetic prose
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#4132 |
Murderous Mustela
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Karma: 48000000
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: The other land of schnitzel and beer
Device: iPad M1 Pro, Kindle Paperwhite
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I really hate it when I know I have to get up early. Getting any sleep is impossible.
Last edited by Dylrob; 10-11-2010 at 01:05 AM. |
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#4133 |
Author's pet-geek
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Karma: 1040670
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: North Queensland, Australia
Device: Kindle 3 Wifi, Onyx Boox M96
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I need to make my webcam more racy... instead of assembling electronics in front of it perhaps I should start disassembling ... "things" ... mmmm
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#4134 |
Chocolate Grasshopper ...
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Karma: 20821184
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW
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:eeks:
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#4135 |
Grand Sorcerer
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Karma: 32763414
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Krewerd
Device: Pocketbook Inkpad 4 Color; Samsung Galaxy Tab S6
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#4136 |
The Dank Side of the Moon
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Karma: 119747553
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Denver, CO
Device: Kindle2 & PW, Onyx Boox Go6
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#4137 |
Grand Sorcerer
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Karma: 32763414
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Krewerd
Device: Pocketbook Inkpad 4 Color; Samsung Galaxy Tab S6
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#4138 |
Bah! Humbug!
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Karma: 135239851
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Durham, NC
Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!
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The closed door is often my only defense against being woken up at 4 am by alert hungry cats who want to share quality time with me. But then I feel guilty when I open the door and all 3 are leaning against it and tumble in squealing like kittens!
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#4139 |
Chocolate Grasshopper ...
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Karma: 20821184
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW
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#4140 |
The Introvert
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Karma: 1000077497
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: United Kingdom
Device: Sony Reader PRS-650 & 505 & 500
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I have got one cat in my bed.
Enough is enough. |
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Tags |
man boobs, skippy the bush kangaroo, thread that never ends, unutterable silliness |
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