TARGETED BY TWO NEIGHBORS FROM HELL: A True Story about Lies, Sabotage, and Murder At

[alexjames4u]

No prob.

Thanx.

[Cinisajoy]

Originally Posted by alexjames4u

Hi Cinisajoy,

Wow!!!

Talk about pulling no punches, "In all honesty, your book as it is right now would get a D in an English class. You made me want to bring out my red pen. I do see potential in you.

My advice is take it down immediately. Redo it. Suggestions to follow."

I trust you did see the following paragraph in my introduction; I don’t’ doubt there’ll be issues caused by this work’s piece-meal make-up and by the fact that it was rushed to meet a deadline, so I apologize. Its piece-meal make-up is reflected in the fact that several issues crop up several times throughout this work (evidence of writing on said issues at diverse and disparate times, sometime years apart, and putting these yarns together to form this account).

Previously, the same paragraph went on to compare the piece to Frankenstein's monster, and also to say there wasn't even time to proof-read the thing. But that sentence was cut out when the 'book' idea resurfaced - i.e. after the piece had served its primary purpose (the reason for the rush in 'completing' it).

I see your point where the names; 'enemy 1' and 'enemy 2,' seemed to confuse you, though the main recipients of the shorter version seemed to have no trouble there, as one even asserted that the monikers were fitting, considering the fact that one enemy was more prominent and long-standing than the other. Ironic that you'd find this your biggest obstacle and the issue most confusing, while another person aired the complete opposite to that opinion. Nevertheless, I respect your views, and I appreciate the fact that you offered constructive criticism.

Not sure I'll be able to address the changing of names in a 200 page piece, but I'm sure I'll be taking the thing down to at least address the paragraph spacing (i.e. double instead of single). But, obviously, my physical spacing of the chapters is not enough, so I'd appreciate if you could advise as to how to achieve a better system which would pass muster in the likes of your Kindle.

I'm sure it would have beeen more to your liking if it had originally started life as a book. But it is what it is, as I'd taken great pains to point out in the introduction. It's not a thrilling suspense novel, but some have read it and thought it might have been as interesting for others as it was to them. And that's the reason why it was offered as a book, hoping the caveats in the intro would suffice in alerting the reader as to what to expect - or, more importantly; not to expect a suspense novel (especially with me going out of the way to encapsulate the gist of the story in a nutshell, at the very beginning).

Thanks again.

Cheers.

On the name changes, for Enemy1 and Enemy2, I could have the entire document changed to names in 10 seconds.
Find and replace is your friend. Been ages since I played with word but I do believe that is under edit.

[alexjames4u]

Never thought of “Find & Replace” ‘til days ago. Mostly use ‘KompoZer’(HTML editor) and only convert to “Word docs” for such things as attachments to emails and for uploads to the likes of Amazon.

Actually started the process of changing the names, and couldn’t go through with it, as every name I tried seemed alien to the characters. They just didn’t fit, and neither did they convey my animus for these vermin in the way I prefer. A part of the reason I’m even more reluctant to part with those labels is perhaps because they’re what I’ve become used to, ever-since I started writing about them in 2015.

There’re also times when I’d refer to either of them as my enemy (being purposely ambiguous for legal reasons) and the reader would still know exactly who it is, within the context. All those segments would have to be changed if I remove ‘enemy’ from their names.

Hoping it’s not too ridiculous, I wonder if Enemy-Oneita and Enemy-Twoslyn would be too far-fetched, as a compromise. I wonder what you’d think of that.

Others like Puppet 1 and Puppet 2 wouldn’t need changing, since they don’t occur anywhere near as often. Or that’s what I’m inclined to think. (Puppet 1 is least of all, as she’s mentioned perhaps less than 10 times). Another point is that a lot of the story hinges on the works of Enemy Twoslyn and her Puppet 2, especially.

[Cinisajoy]

Originally Posted by alexjames4u

Never thought of “Find & Replace” ‘til days ago. Mostly use ‘KompoZer’(HTML editor) and only convert to “Word docs” for such things as attachments to emails and for uploads to the likes of Amazon.

Actually started the process of changing the names, and couldn’t go through with it, as every name I tried seemed alien to the characters. They just didn’t fit, and neither did they convey my animus for these vermin in the way I prefer. A part of the reason I’m even more reluctant to part with those labels is perhaps because they’re what I’ve become used to, ever-since I started writing about them in 2015.

There’re also times when I’d refer to either of them as my enemy (being purposely ambiguous for legal reasons) and the reader would still know exactly who it is, within the context. All those segments would have to be changed if I remove ‘enemy’ from their names.

Hoping it’s not too ridiculous, I wonder if Enemy-Oneita and Enemy-Twoslyn would be too far-fetched, as a compromise. I wonder what you’d think of that.

Others like Puppet 1 and Puppet 2 wouldn’t need changing, since they don’t occur anywhere near as often. Or that’s what I’m inclined to think. (Puppet 1 is least of all, as she’s mentioned perhaps less than 10 times). Another point is that a lot of the story hinges on the works of Enemy Twoslyn and her Puppet 2, especially.

Since it is for legal reasons, just leave the names alone.
Now my next suggestion if you ever want to write another book:
Learn Word. Play with every feature. It will be worth it in the time you save.
Also make sure to have a second set of eyes proofread your next book before publication.
You might also want to hit the writer's corner here. Use the search function and look for my posts. I have written more than one post on new author mistakes.

[alexjames4u]

Thanks for the suggestions. No, I’d never written a book before. But I have to repeat that this account wasn’t conceived as a book.

I’ll paste a segment of the intro again: Of the two main versions of this work, the original was more like how this one is now (perhaps even better) with the second version for the police actually summarizing the story at the outset and expanding from there, to facilitate those who had no time to read the full story. But when this police-draft was expanded much further and made into my first actual offering as a book, it was greeted with several criticisms mainly from one critic at a book-discussion forum…

It might not display all the characteristics and subtle nuances of even an OK novel and may seem even crude, in comparison. I’d even previously alluded to once referring to it as the likes of Frankenstein’s monster, in regard to the way disparate segments from disparate times, spread out over more than two years, are put together to relate the story. But it was never meant to be even an OK novel. I’ve taken great pains to make that clear in the intro and here – please refer to that intro again, or to one or two of my past posts.

Having identified it for what it is (something which started out as a sow’s ear and can never be turned into a silk purse - another point I made here) I’d not have expected it to be judged by the standards of a silk purse, but along the lines of converted sows’ ears.

It’s an account of a real-life experience which several who read it found interesting, intriguing, and even astonishing. And though those who expressed those opinions were not seasoned book-critics and reviewers, every one of them felt that the story was too interesting and full of lessons about neighbors from hell for it not to be shared (perhaps with ordinary people like them, as against book-critics).

It is what it is, and as described in the intro. Perhaps if I ever set out to write a ‘book,’ I’ll make sure to dot all the Is and cross all the Ts, and hire proof-readers and editors, and the like. I just never considered that for something I’m simply putting out there for anyone interested, and which may never sell enough to pay for an ed.., let alone an editor or a really competent proof-reader.

And regarding the latter, using just anyone to proof-read won’t do. For example; everyone who read this account thinks it’s great, as mentioned. But then, they’re just normal, everyday, ordinary people, such as those who’d probably be interested in such real-life accounts - and a few police officers too – no seasoned book-critics, unfortunately.

Many thanks for your input. And I’ll heed your advice if I ever decide to really set out to write a bone-fide book.

All the best.

[Cinisajoy]

I was just giving you suggestions for if you ever want to write a book intentionally.
Your book does sound fascinating which is why I grabbed it originally. I'm just sorry you had to go through heck (family friendly site) for your story.

Oh and other suggestion: if you think you must explain why your book is like it is, then with the exception of certain book critics who like to whip new authors into shape, you have already lost that reader.

As far as life experience goes, I have been told more than once I should write my entire life story. Well to age 25 anyway. After that it gets boring.

Oh and you are spot on about using professionals.
I wish you all the best and may the enemas not come back to haunt you.

[alexjames4u]

Ha, Ha!

I thought there was something there.

Difficult to believe that so many people could have been fooling me with false compliments like that. Coming from such a tough critic as you, it’s very rewarding to hear this, though; “Your book does sound fascinating which is why I grabbed it originally.”

I value that remark as much as I value 10 comments from ordinary folks saying much more. Hopefully, next time (if there is one) such a comment will apply to much more than the title.

But I’m sure you’re also right on another point, as usual, even if you didn’t say it in so many words: This work could have been better if it was edited by a paid professional. You mentioned something complimentary about my potential in a previous post (thanks, btw) but I believe that potential might more likely be able to come close to its ultimate when combined with a great editor. (I miss that safety-net from my newspaper days - something to do with two heads being better than one, I believe). And I think it may be the same for many others too.

I don’t know how good others are at it, but I know I’m hopeless at editing myself. I believe it’s an obscene concept, tantamount to self-gratification in lieu of normal copulation – though, similarly, it’s probably necessary sometimes.

You also mentioned; “As far as life experience goes, I have been told more than once I should write my entire life story.” And I’d join that chorus, as I somehow sense it would all be very interesting.

Cheers.

[Cinisajoy]

Originally Posted by alexjames4u

Ha, Ha!

I thought there was something there.

Difficult to believe that so many people could have been fooling me with false compliments like that. Coming from such a tough critic as you, it’s very rewarding to hear this, though; “Your book does sound fascinating which is why I grabbed it originally.”

I value that remark as much as I value 10 comments from ordinary folks saying much more. Hopefully, next time (if there is one) such a comment will apply to much more than the title.

But I’m sure you’re also right on another point, as usual, even if you didn’t say it in so many words: This work could have been better if it was edited by a paid professional. You mentioned something complimentary about my potential in a previous post (thanks, btw) but I believe that potential might more likely be able to come close to its ultimate when combined with a great editor. (I miss that safety-net from my newspaper days - something to do with two heads being better than one, I believe). And I think it may be the same for many others too.

I don’t know how good others are at it, but I know I’m hopeless at editing myself. I believe it’s an obscene concept, tantamount to self-gratification in lieu of normal copulation – though, similarly, it’s probably necessary sometimes.

You also mentioned; “As far as life experience goes, I have been told more than once I should write my entire life story.” And I’d join that chorus, as I somehow sense it would all be very interesting.

Cheers.

There are times I need both an editor and a proofreader just for forum posts.

I didn't realize you were a reporter.
Oh and if you want a little secret

Spoiler:

Most self-published authors need to learn basic grammar and spelling. Ask me about the rainbow book.

Spoiler:

It took me 30 minutes to proofread 1/2 a word document page in 12 count times new roman.

Can I use your analogy to self-editing?

[alexjames4u]

Interesting!!!

You also mentioned, "Can I use your analogy to self-editing?" Yes, for sure - no prob.

Cheers.

[Cinisajoy]

Oh it wasn't a book about rainbows. I used a different color highlighter for different types of errors. It looked like a rainbow when I finished the page. I don't think there was a sentence without at least 2 colors.
My advice to that author was take some English classes.
He had asked me to look over his book to see why it wasn't selling.

[alexjames4u]

Rainbow-book?

Fascinating!

I never would have thought of that.

I take it you're a teacher or lecturer of some sort (having to do with the English language, of course).

As to books not selling, I believe I read somewhere that there are over 3.5 million writers (or Kindle books - not sure which) with only a fraction of these selling squat. And it's also my understanding that some of those in the no-sale margin are quite good.

One poster at the Amazon KDP Support forum asked this question; "WHY IS NO ONE BUYING MY KINDLE BOOK?"

And one member answered in this way, "Obtaining those initial sales for our first efforts is a problem most new authors must face. When I published my first books I had to wait better than a year before I began getting significant sales. I think new authors fixate too much on early sales. If they come, then all is well, but we must realize many titles never sell. I have never attempted to publicize my books, just gratefully accepting the sales when they finally did arrive. "

Just some of the realities many self-published writers must face. Sales may eventually come, for some. But quite a few are destined to remain in the 'no-sale' zone - whether awfully bad or fairly good.

Me? I have pieces I'd written on someone else's behalf regarding the horrors of adoption, or the literal stealing of a child. And I also have several "expert-advice" articles I'd written about my favourite hobby. Both of these I may some day try to convert to book-form, similar to (or, hopefully, even better than) my current attempt.

If I didn't have these three works already done, basically, I doubt I'd ever have attempted to enter this field at all - and I'm not even mentioning harboring any great notions of reaping a profit. Nevertheless, I may be lucky enough to have a few sales in a year or so from now. And, depending on how that goes, I could well be encouraged to actually sit down with the intent to write a book, from start to finish, some day. Who knows?

Forgive me for ranting. Guess this may be just a reality-check.

Curious too as to how sales went with your two books. But perhaps I'm being too inquisitive, so no prob if you can't be bothered to answer that.

Incidentally, I've read where some recommend all manner of means of promoting one's books, up to and perhaps including jumping over the moon. I don't mind some promotion, but I doubt I'd ever be interested in going to such extremes as some I've seen recommended. Glad to see that that guy's laid-back attitude paid dividends too; "I have never attempted to publicize my books, just gratefully accepting the sales when they finally did arrive."

Interesting.

Cheers.

[Cinisajoy]

On my cookbook, it was physical and I think I sold 5. Gave away that many too.
As to the story, it was professionally published in a book about farms.
The autobiography was how a college GED program changed my life. (Aka how I went from high school dropout to President of the college's chapter of the honor society). I was a tutor in college and later special needs helper.
The reason my cookbook is not on Amazon is because I don't think I could make back the formatting costs.
As to ebooks on Amazon there are 1,690,162 just in Kindle Unlimited.

Little tip when you hear an author whining about a lack of sales: go to Amazon and look at their work.
Every whining author I have run across had numerous errors in the first few pages.

The successful authors I have talked to, all invested heavily in their books including marketing.
Oh yes, advertising is important. You have to be seen. Oh by successful, I mean at least 6 figures a year, most a month.
You work at a newspaper, do you think you would have a job without the money from the advertisers?

[alexjames4u]

Very interesting, again.

"The successful authors I have talked to, all invested heavily in their books including marketing.
Oh yes, advertising is important. You have to be seen."

Yup!

And despite what the other guy said about not promoting his books and still selling apparently to his satisfaction, I can see the sense in what you say here too. Admittedly, I'm averse to some of the measures I've seen recommended, but I believe I'd fit somewhere between that extreme and the other extreme where this guy did nothing to promote his books.

Past-tense for work (ed) at a newspaper. Actually did regular freelance work with two, simultaneously - additionally had a regular column with one. Both are now defunct, and perhaps they deserve it for having the likes of me contributing. But, seriously, you're also right about the ads issue, as they were probably put out of business by the fact that bigger fish ate up most of the better ads.

Gosh! Selling 5 books - with your expertise? I'd wondered, initially, but now I don't blame you for not pursuing that course. Just goes to show; it ain't easy out there. Nevertheless, that's also 5 more than I've sold, so far - after half a month, and counting.

Best regards.

[Dr. Drib]

Please take any further discussion on writing to the Writers' Forum.

This thread should only be used for self-promotion.

For your convenience, here is the link to the Writers' Forum:

https://www.mobileread.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=75


Don
(Moderator)

[alexjames4u]

Self-promotion only - duly noted. I love this site.

Speaking of which, I wonder if it's OK to paste a pic of my book-cover, since I'd omitted to do so in my initial post. Or would I need to wait for 7 days after that initial post to do so? Perhaps the latter would be the safer route, unless someone says otherwise, I guess.

Nevertheless, I don't know if it's stressed enough what an outstanding site this is for budding writers. Just the 'self-promotion' facility alone is worthy of 'eternal praise.' Even though other sites may do it too, that doesn't mean that such sites as this shouldn't be properly recognized and appreciated for what they do.

My sincere thanks to all responsible for such a great facility.

Cheers