The Vent and Rant Thread

[Stitchawl]

Originally Posted by Rumpelteazer

Earlier in the week we got a batch of new motion detector sensors. It includes a manual in English, or at least, it's writting in English words but a lot of the times it just doesn't make any sense.

They talk about "inflated screws", we think they mean screws with a rounded head. It also contains the sentence:
"The unrest objects can't be regarded the installation basis-face"
I know from another sentence that "unrest objects" means "moving objects", so we think they mean somethings like "when installing the sensor make sure that there are no moving objects within the detection field".

The manual is three A5 pages long, I can only translate one side at a time because otherwise my brain wants to explode.

Another fun one:
"electrician or experienced human being can install it"

This sounds like 'Japanglish.' It's what I lived with for 15 years!
But... you may have just sent half a dozen Americans running for their dictionaries! 99% of Americans have never heard of A5 paper or A4, B4, etc. etc. We only know two paper sizes; letter and legal. Some Americans will use 'memo size' but that's an arbitrary size.


Stitchawl

[Rumpelteazer]

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

This sounds like 'Japanglish.' It's what I lived with for 15 years!
But... you may have just sent half a dozen Americans running for their dictionaries! 99% of Americans have never heard of A5 paper or A4, B4, etc. etc. We only know two paper sizes; letter and legal. Some Americans will use 'memo size' but that's an arbitrary size.


Stitchawl

We mainly use A4 (A4 is a little narrower than letter size and a little bit longer). A5 is half of an A4 and A6 is half of an A5, etc.

[Hitch]

Client, on Wednesday, July 2nd:

Hi guys,
I am trying to upload my [insert name here] book to Smashwords but it seems to say there is a 10mb limit on downloading. I think mine is 17 ?
Any suggestions?
Its not a large book. I would think it would be easy.
[customer name here]

Me, in reply, same date:

Hi, [client]:

You can't upload Fixed-Format books at Smashwords. You can only upload FF books at their respective retailers--Amazon for mobi, and iBooks for ePUB. (And Kobobooks and NookKids' have their own proprietarily-modified ePUBs, too). Smashwords can't accept FF books; they're not capable of processing/handling the more-advanced formatting.

You won't have a problem with that filesize at the correct upload locations.

Client, July 4th:

Here is what Smashwords said,
Hi, [client name].

We don't accept audio files in the book, and we also cannot accept books over 10MB. You'll need to remove the audio and compress the images.

Best wishes,

P.S. Should you need to reply, please instead send your email via the Support Link as I will soon be out of the office on vacation without access to emails. Thank you!

[insert Smashwords' person's name here]
Service Team; Marketing Team

Me:



Is it me? I mean, what part of, "Smashwords can't accept FF books" was unclear? What, now we're supposed to remake this book, which, if it had been suitable for reflowable, I would have proposed in the first bloody place? Honestly, I swear, there are days when I just can't take it any longer.

n.b.: this is nothing compared to what KK is going through. I know that. I just gotta spew occasionally. @KK, I hope you are holding up. Ping if I can be of help.


Hitch

[speakingtohe]

Originally Posted by CRussel

Hmmm. Somehow I doubt those are 32 inches long. IAC, I admit to being old enough that the grabbers are useful in and of themselves.

BBQ tongs? But I admit to using the kitchen tongs more often simply because I have both long and short and they are always easy to find when I need something from the top shelf or something falls into that annoying crevice between the fridge and the counter.

My poor old 88 year old mother who is waiting for a hip replacement is always telling me about her grabbers, but she can never find them without hobbling from room to room in search of them.

Helen

[speakingtohe]

Originally Posted by Hitch

Client, on Wednesday, July 2nd:



Me, in reply, same date:



Client, July 4th:



Me:



Is it me? I mean, what part of, "Smashwords can't accept FF books" was unclear? What, now we're supposed to remake this book, which, if it had been suitable for reflowable, I would have proposed in the first bloody place? Honestly, I swear, there are days when I just can't take it any longer.

n.b.: this is nothing compared to what KK is going through. I know that. I just gotta spew occasionally. @KK, I hope you are holding up. Ping if I can be of help.


Hitch

Hmmm.. perhaps you should have ended your first reply with

For your firstborn child or $xx.00 I will upload it for you, or for your first six children or $xxxxxx.00 I will walk you through the process. That is what this person really wants IMO and hoping to get it for nothing. Of course you already know this I am sure.

Helen

[kindlekitten]

Originally Posted by Hitch

Client, on Wednesday, July 2nd:



Me, in reply, same date:



Client, July 4th:



Me:



Is it me? I mean, what part of, "Smashwords can't accept FF books" was unclear? What, now we're supposed to remake this book, which, if it had been suitable for reflowable, I would have proposed in the first bloody place? Honestly, I swear, there are days when I just can't take it any longer.

n.b.: this is nothing compared to what KK is going through. I know that. I just gotta spew occasionally. @KK, I hope you are holding up. Ping if I can be of help.


Hitch

I'm doing remarkably well especially compared to last time. Granted, getting up, cleaned up, dressed and to p.t. and back is completely draining still.
Regardless, the mobility and over all pain are so different!

[Stitchawl]

Originally Posted by Rumpelteazer

We mainly use A4 (A4 is a little narrower than letter size and a little bit longer). A5 is half of an A4 and A6 is half of an A5, etc.

Yep! The whole world uses this system, yet it remains a mystery to most Americans. Most have never even heard of it. When I first moved to Asia 25 years ago, I brought some high quality stationary with me from the US. But when I tried to fit a letter into a locally bought envelope, it was too wide! I couldn't understand what was wrong! All the university handouts came on B4 size paper and wouldn't fit into the document folder I had. I needed to buy a Japanese one so I could keep everything together!


Stitchawl

[Freeshadow]

Them are strange people these Americans , because it's not only paper; honestly a - qubic foot is something I'd consult a orthopaedic about.

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by speakingtohe

Hmmm.. perhaps you should have ended your first reply with

For your firstborn child or $xx.00 I will upload it for you, or for your first six children or $xxxxxx.00 I will walk you through the process. That is what this person really wants IMO and hoping to get it for nothing. Of course you already know this I am sure.

Helen

Helen:

Oh, yes, indeed; that's exactly what they want. But Amazon, B&N, et al, all have a quite strict rule about uploading for third parties--it's against their TOS. Doesn't stop others from offering to do it, of course. Some conversion houses include it in their pricing, curiously enough. I guess I spent entirely too many years running the litigation strategy section of my division--the mere THOUGHT of having a client's personal details on our servers, along with banking info, SSN's, credit cards (B&N)...oh, no. No, no, no.

And the uploading part, for this client, doesn't matter. The book CANNOT be uploaded there. Smashwords can neither upload nor distribute FF books. It's an utter exercise in futility. If the client had told me upfront that he was planning on using them, I would have advised him not to have us make the FF iBooks ePUB.


Hitch

[ProfCrash]

UGGGHHH I have to limit my walking this week.

I have an infection in my groin/pelvic area and one of the instructions is to not walk as much since that can cause it to spread. I am on antibiotics and the Doctor at the emergency room used a sharpie to mark the area at the time I was at the hospital so I can see if it is spreading. He said that there will be some spread because it takes 24 hours for the antibiotics to fully kick in.

I have days, sometimes weeks, were I enjoy being a couch potatoes but I hate being told to limit activity. I am going to see my primary doctor sometime today or tomorrow (the ER DR said 2 days, I'll see what my Doctors office says when I call today). Not to mention, this means no taking the LM to the pool, running around with him in the back yard and other such fun, at least for a few days.

Just ugh. And it itches and the itching kept me up last night.

[covingtoncat73]

That is awful, Prof! I hope you feel better soon.

KK, I am glad to hear your recovery is going smoothly.

It has been a rough week. I nearly lost my kitty. I love my kitty. I have had her since she was found in my cousin's ditch at 4 weeks old. She is 11 now and went through Katrina with me. It turns out she had a bad infection (the vet thought intestinal. She is an indoor cat for the most part and has no wounds on her or anything. She is also diabetic, they said. She is doing much better but on all kinds of medications and I am still having to syringe-feed her the vet food, though she is starting to eat a tiny bit on her own.

Other than that, I am considering purposefully breaking a leg or something to get out of a possible dinner. I suppose I could come down with a "stomach bug." My sweet but neurotic cousin invited an uncle from the other side of the family for dinner. Aforesaid uncle is sweet but a bit obnoxious. All this would be bearable but I am afraid my cousin will have her mother, my truly-crazy (schizo, evil) aunt there. I am working 10-hour days (only 4 of those a week but still) and have a cat to medicate. I don't need this.

[Stitchawl]

Originally Posted by ProfCrash

I have an infection in my groin/pelvic area ..........Just ugh. And it itches and the itching kept me up last night.

Heal up quickly, Prof. Visualize the little Antibiotic soldiers decimating the nasty Infection soldiers over and over until none are viable!

Originally Posted by covingtoncat73

It has been a rough week. ........Other than that, I am considering purposefully breaking a leg or something to get out of a possible dinner.

Be careful of the excuse you use. Once, to get out of a gym class in high school, I picked a really cool sounding disease out of one of my father's medical books, took one of his prescription blanks and wrote "Please excuse my son from gym class for the next two days as he has a mild case of Pneumoconiosis and needs to rest a bit. He'll be fine by Friday " and signed my father's name. Unfortunately for me, the head gym teacher came from Monongahela, PA, where the chief occupation was mining coal and knew that Pneumoconiosis is the famous 'Black Lung' disease coal miners get after a lifetime spent down in the mines. I sure wish I knew that before I wrote the note...


Stitchawl

[ProfCrash]

That must have been a fun gym class for you

[Freeshadow]

He should have chosen a veneric disease instead

[WT Sharpe]

Originally Posted by Freeshadow

He should have chosen a veneric disease instead

And when doing so, keep in mind that rigor mortis is not a venereal disease.