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Old 05-22-2011, 10:46 AM   #196
kindlekitten
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Aww, that's sad!

Actually reminds me of what my dad used to say "I have to love you, but I don't have to LIKE you..." I'm not sure why he said that, or why he said it so often, but I don't think the intention was very nice.
there were times I didn't particularly *like* one or the other of my children, but never stopped loving them. however, I would have NEVER EVER put voice to that!
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Old 05-23-2011, 12:06 AM   #197
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Well, were you a "typical" pain in the butt teen? That's usually the time statements like that erupt from parents.
Nah, actually, I was pretty angelic. Nothing like my older siblings. I got straight As, took care of my younger siblings... all my "evil" stuff was off the radar (truly, my mom is amazed at the things I did and she never knew). My dad was just... well, let's just say he had issues. He wasn't a very happy man. Oh, and I started hearing him say stuff like that when I was like 6, so it definitely wasn't a teenage thing.

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there were times I didn't particularly *like* one or the other of my children, but never stopped loving them. however, I would have NEVER EVER put voice to that!
yeah, I think hearing that kind of thing a lot as a kid really influenced the things I say to my own kids. In a good way.
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Old 05-23-2011, 11:29 PM   #198
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Nah, actually, I was pretty angelic. Nothing like my older siblings. I got straight As, took care of my younger siblings... all my "evil" stuff was off the radar (truly, my mom is amazed at the things I did and she never knew). My dad was just... well, let's just say he had issues. He wasn't a very happy man. Oh, and I started hearing him say stuff like that when I was like 6, so it definitely wasn't a teenage thing.
I'm sorry to hear that.


I have friend that said her mom never caught on to the fact that the sweeter she was at home, the more "evil" she was away from home.
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Old 05-31-2011, 05:07 AM   #199
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... all my "evil" stuff was off the radar (truly, my mom is amazed at the things I did and she never knew). My dad was just... well, let's just say he had issues. He wasn't a very happy man. Oh, and I started hearing him say stuff like that when I was like 6, so it definitely wasn't a teenage thing.
Think of emotional damage as a series of customizations and stresses to the rarefied couture garment that is the personality. Yes, parental cruelty can make our lives harder. But it can also make our imaginations more interesting, our empathy more acute and our self-expression more compulsive, original and even beautiful. There's a reason Michael Jackson identified with the Elephant Man. There's a reason Francis Bacon went on painting the same poltergeists.

Last edited by Prestidigitweeze; 05-31-2011 at 05:11 AM.
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Old 05-31-2011, 06:15 AM   #200
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Think of emotional damage as a series of customizations and stresses to the rarefied couture garment that is the personality. Yes, parental cruelty can make our lives harder. But it can also make our imaginations more interesting, our empathy more acute and our self-expression more compulsive, original and even beautiful. There's a reason Michael Jackson identified with the Elephant Man. There's a reason Francis Bacon went on painting the same poltergeists.
I do think that's true. I know I wouldn't be the same person had my upbringing been different, and I think I'm pretty damn fabulous in a variety of ways. It's definitely given me some very important skills for my job.
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Old 05-31-2011, 06:52 AM   #201
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I do think that's true. I know I wouldn't be the same person had my upbringing been different, and I think I'm pretty damn fabulous in a variety of ways. It's definitely given me some very important skills for my job.
Funny you should mention your job (which your sig. makes clear). My sister, cousin and nephew are all psychologists. I grew up reading textbook interviews with schizophrenics the way others did story books.

It isn't good, however, to be teased as a child by trained shrinks. They know the ropes -- in every sense -- just a little bit too well.

I've always sought out the darker strains of experiential and aesthetic beauty, as perhaps my family -- and the archaic Edwardian objects and furnishings that surrounded us -- taught me to do. It's that aspect of my history which makes the acts of writing and composing feel ravishing, the experience of romantic love, overwhelming (to return to the subject at last).
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