Silliness Countdown! - Page 22

LazyScot · 07-03-2010, 03:11 PM

13

What can I say about 13?

13's not really bad, just the sort of number you want to avoid.

There was that time that someone decided it would be a really good idea to get 13 around to a school to chat to the children about what it was like to work as a prime number (part of the careers advice strand). Anyhow, it ended up with some of the children sitting down individually with 13 in the careers office. We don't really know what happened, but piecing together what the child said and the reports from the schools contract psychiatrist (who promptly raised her rates), something like the following happened. The child asked if a career as a prime would be better that his current experiences as school (he was not having the best of times, being picked on by the other kids). 13 indicated no, and went on to mention the aphorism "Your schooldays are the best days of your life". The kid explained this couldn't possibly be true, at which point 13 explained that this statement is a relative statement. It doesn't say that schooldays are good, only that it's downhill from there...

Then there was the time 13 decided to help out at the village tombola stall. Andrew, the village's recovering chocoholic (16th months without chocolate) won the giant 10kg toblerone bar. On collecting it, it was dropped on his foot which the bar managed to break. Sue, who suffered from chronic hayfever, won the giant bouquet and vouchers for another 1 a month for the next 6 months. On collecting it, she started sneezing uncontrollably and, unable to see, staggered into the Womens' Institute baking display, destroying it in the process. Finally, Leticia, a six year old girl with a terrifying pout did not win the little pink fluffy pony she wanted, but instead won a selection of tinned fruits. Her mother and three friends still have the bruises.

All in all, if you see 13 heading your way, head the other way. Quickly.

happy_terd · 07-03-2010, 03:15 PM

I dont know what number we are on but I think I am in the lead.

LazyScot · 07-05-2010, 09:12 AM

12!

As you know, 12 taught 15 how to bake bread, so what is it 12 does?

12 is an excellent (and licensed) pâtisserie chef, with a side line in very good coffee and sandwiches in fresh baked bread.

12 has a hidden little shop sitting at the very top of the stairs on an almost hidden doorway on Rue du Chat-qui-Pêche -- a very unprepossessing little street that even tourists looking for can miss, and once they find it, will generally forget about it. And all of this suits 12 very nicely; all it wants is just enough to cover the bills, but leave time for wandering down boulevards on pleasant days and ambling round galleries and museums when the weather is inclement.

My personal favourite is to have small bowl of cafe-au-lait with a pain-au-raisin sitting on one of two specific chairs. From the first, if you look carefully you can just see Notre Dame, and the other, again if you look carefully, lets you see the top of Sainte Chapelle. I just wish I could read the french newspapers whilst enjoying the view, coffee and food.

Rumours that 12 is actually a deep cover agent for some mysterious foreign power and is actually monitoring the comings and goings from the Palais du Justice is, I am sure, completely fictional and a slur....

LazyScot · 07-05-2010, 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by happy_terd

I dont know what number we are on but I think I am in the lead.

That's just because we've seen where you are heading, what is down that road, and so are running in the other direction as quickly as we can.

Sweetpea · 07-05-2010, 09:22 AM

83!

We got the scheme for the power, gas and electricity. Oh, and water. So, this week work should start in the kitchen!

happy_terd · 07-05-2010, 12:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LazyScot

That's just because we've seen where you are heading, what is down that road, and so are running in the other direction as quickly as we can.

I am going to go bail out VR is where I am headed.

He had too much fun last night.

Wetdogeared · 07-05-2010, 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by happy_terd

I am going to go bail out VR is where I am headed.

He had too much fun last night.

Take some bacon for that 'Hungry d***k' -- he'll be starving.

happy_terd · 07-06-2010, 05:12 PM

Sweetpea · 07-07-2010, 04:25 AM

81

And we demolished the laminated floor yesterday, and I've no idea what I'll walk into when I get home this evening...

GeoffC · 07-11-2010, 11:33 AM

are we still counting down, or are we bouncing back up ?

FlorenceArt · 07-11-2010, 11:40 AM

And was Sweetpea swallowed by the hole in the floor?

zelda_pinwheel · 07-11-2010, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FlorenceArt

And was Sweetpea swallowed by the hole in the floor?

oh noes ! sweetpea-eating holes in floors ? run away !

GeoffC · 07-12-2010, 06:06 AM

:sniffs:

Poor sweetpea .....

LazyScot · 07-12-2010, 04:26 PM

11

What can I say about 11?

Have you ever heard the phrase "bull in a china shop"? I hate that phrase. I mean, who is stupid enough to let a bull into a china shop, or even have a door that a bull could get through. And lets face it, without opposable thumbs how could the bull manage to grip and turn the door handle to get into the china shop. And even if we put all those impossibilities to the side, what self respecting bull would go into a china shop. Except possibly when dragged by its wife to be for the purposes of setting up a wedding list of impossibily pointless and overpriced crockery (and exactly why any future Mr and Mrs Bull would want a set of five matching tureens, ramekins and three-tier cake stands is beyond me) . And then it would be a "bull and future mrs bull in a china shop". And even then, any self respecting male would enter a self-defensive comatose state where the lower reptilian brain takes over utter affirimatve grunts at appropriate pauses in the conversation, and therefore completely incapable of any form of damage -- except to be on the receiving end of the mental damage kind.

Where was I?

Oh yes.

Eleven. Eleven is a fine character, just a little, ummm, unfortunate. Full of enthusiasm. Too full, really. Cheerful to a level bordering on hyperactivity. And somewhat short sighted. Not an ill-meaning bone in its body (not, being a number, that it has a body, but you get what I mean), but it has mishaps.

For example, it did try to park a friend's car once. Just the once. I think the latest grand total of damaged items is eight cars, six flower pots, two bollards, nine shopping carts, a tramp steamer and two dovecots (the lawyers are still arguing about the satellite).

Greg Anos · 07-12-2010, 07:03 PM

You shouldn't be too hard on 11, after all, he and his good friend 7 have a nice job here in the States at a convenience store...

07-06-2010, 05:12 PM	#323
happy_terd Banned Posts: 13,045 Karma: 10105011 Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Finally made it to Walmart. Device: PRS 420	Last edited by happy_terd; 07-07-2010 at 08:49 AM.

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07-03-2010, 03:11 PM	#316
LazyScot DSil Posts: 3,201 Karma: 6895096 Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Hants, UK Device: Kindle, Cybook	13 What can I say about 13? 13's not really bad, just the sort of number you want to avoid. There was that time that someone decided it would be a really good idea to get 13 around to a school to chat to the children about what it was like to work as a prime number (part of the careers advice strand). Anyhow, it ended up with some of the children sitting down individually with 13 in the careers office. We don't really know what happened, but piecing together what the child said and the reports from the schools contract psychiatrist (who promptly raised her rates), something like the following happened. The child asked if a career as a prime would be better that his current experiences as school (he was not having the best of times, being picked on by the other kids). 13 indicated no, and went on to mention the aphorism "Your schooldays are the best days of your life". The kid explained this couldn't possibly be true, at which point 13 explained that this statement is a relative statement. It doesn't say that schooldays are good, only that it's downhill from there... Then there was the time 13 decided to help out at the village tombola stall. Andrew, the village's recovering chocoholic (16th months without chocolate) won the giant 10kg toblerone bar. On collecting it, it was dropped on his foot which the bar managed to break. Sue, who suffered from chronic hayfever, won the giant bouquet and vouchers for another 1 a month for the next 6 months. On collecting it, she started sneezing uncontrollably and, unable to see, staggered into the Womens' Institute baking display, destroying it in the process. Finally, Leticia, a six year old girl with a terrifying pout did not win the little pink fluffy pony she wanted, but instead won a selection of tinned fruits. Her mother and three friends still have the bruises. All in all, if you see 13 heading your way, head the other way. Quickly.

07-03-2010, 03:15 PM	#317
happy_terd Banned Posts: 13,045 Karma: 10105011 Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Finally made it to Walmart. Device: PRS 420	I dont know what number we are on but I think I am in the lead.

07-05-2010, 09:12 AM	#318
LazyScot DSil Posts: 3,201 Karma: 6895096 Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Hants, UK Device: Kindle, Cybook	12! As you know, 12 taught 15 how to bake bread, so what is it 12 does? 12 is an excellent (and licensed) pâtisserie chef, with a side line in very good coffee and sandwiches in fresh baked bread. 12 has a hidden little shop sitting at the very top of the stairs on an almost hidden doorway on Rue du Chat-qui-Pêche -- a very unprepossessing little street that even tourists looking for can miss, and once they find it, will generally forget about it. And all of this suits 12 very nicely; all it wants is just enough to cover the bills, but leave time for wandering down boulevards on pleasant days and ambling round galleries and museums when the weather is inclement. My personal favourite is to have small bowl of cafe-au-lait with a pain-au-raisin sitting on one of two specific chairs. From the first, if you look carefully you can just see Notre Dame, and the other, again if you look carefully, lets you see the top of Sainte Chapelle. I just wish I could read the french newspapers whilst enjoying the view, coffee and food. Rumours that 12 is actually a deep cover agent for some mysterious foreign power and is actually monitoring the comings and goings from the Palais du Justice is, I am sure, completely fictional and a slur....

07-05-2010, 09:22 AM	#320
Sweetpea Grand Sorcerer Posts: 9,707 Karma: 32763414 Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Krewerd Device: Pocketbook Inkpad 4 Color; Samsung Galaxy Tab S6	83! We got the scheme for the power, gas and electricity. Oh, and water. So, this week work should start in the kitchen!

07-07-2010, 04:25 AM	#324
Sweetpea Grand Sorcerer Posts: 9,707 Karma: 32763414 Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Krewerd Device: Pocketbook Inkpad 4 Color; Samsung Galaxy Tab S6	81 And we demolished the laminated floor yesterday, and I've no idea what I'll walk into when I get home this evening...

07-11-2010, 11:33 AM	#325
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	are we still counting down, or are we bouncing back up ?

07-11-2010, 11:40 AM	#326
FlorenceArt High Priestess Posts: 5,761 Karma: 5042529 Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Montreuil sous bois, France Device: iPad Pro 9.7, iPhone 6 Plus	And was Sweetpea swallowed by the hole in the floor?

07-12-2010, 06:06 AM	#328
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	:sniffs: Poor sweetpea .....

07-12-2010, 04:26 PM	#329
LazyScot DSil Posts: 3,201 Karma: 6895096 Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Hants, UK Device: Kindle, Cybook	11 What can I say about 11? Have you ever heard the phrase "bull in a china shop"? I hate that phrase. I mean, who is stupid enough to let a bull into a china shop, or even have a door that a bull could get through. And lets face it, without opposable thumbs how could the bull manage to grip and turn the door handle to get into the china shop. And even if we put all those impossibilities to the side, what self respecting bull would go into a china shop. Except possibly when dragged by its wife to be for the purposes of setting up a wedding list of impossibily pointless and overpriced crockery (and exactly why any future Mr and Mrs Bull would want a set of five matching tureens, ramekins and three-tier cake stands is beyond me) . And then it would be a "bull and future mrs bull in a china shop". And even then, any self respecting male would enter a self-defensive comatose state where the lower reptilian brain takes over utter affirimatve grunts at appropriate pauses in the conversation, and therefore completely incapable of any form of damage -- except to be on the receiving end of the mental damage kind. Where was I? Oh yes. Eleven. Eleven is a fine character, just a little, ummm, unfortunate. Full of enthusiasm. Too full, really. Cheerful to a level bordering on hyperactivity. And somewhat short sighted. Not an ill-meaning bone in its body (not, being a number, that it has a body, but you get what I mean), but it has mishaps. For example, it did try to park a friend's car once. Just the once. I think the latest grand total of damaged items is eight cars, six flower pots, two bollards, nine shopping carts, a tramp steamer and two dovecots (the lawyers are still arguing about the satellite).

07-12-2010, 07:03 PM	#330
Greg Anos Grand Sorcerer Posts: 11,531 Karma: 37057604 Join Date: Jan 2008 Device: Pocketbook	You shouldn't be too hard on 11, after all, he and his good friend 7 have a nice job here in the States at a convenience store...