MobileRead's Win an iPad - E-Reader Survey - Page 59

poohbear_nc · 07-02-2010, 08:54 PM

HIGH NOON

CIRCLE THE WAGONS!!

Alex ran to the door with the chicken rancher and his family, and saw a cloud of dust approaching the ranch. Brightly clad figures could be barely made out as the approaching horde began circling the helpless ranch!

IAm cried out "Look! There's the queen! Queen Katti'sCat herself! And her royal consort MOTT (Man Of The Teepee) She was cursed by a neighboring tribe's shaman with brain fever - real bad brain fever - and the Oz-ians thought they were going to lose her. But their own shaman Mountsymags and his big ape did some powerful magic along with the rest of the tribe - and she's riding proud and tall again. A little slow yet - but she ain't giving up! No how! No way! We're doomed!"

Alex peered into the dust cloud and asked "Who's that slinky sexy woman in blue jammies?"
"Oh -- that's SS - the Ozian's warrior princess. She's as mean as a snake - and just as deadly!"
"And look - there's the Bird Woman lene-loo-hoo - with her little circle of flying friends. Watch out or they'll land poo-bombs on your head!"

By now Alex was becoming totally confused, trying to pick out each Oz-ian as they flashed by. He saw Mountsymags - propeller spinning wildly on his cap, swinging a crowbar around his head. There was nomeskittyque scribbling a description of the battle for publication even before it happened! And hordes more of the gaudily clad wild denizens from the land down under civilized world. They made his head spin as they flashed by on horseback!

Then disaster struck! SS rode in swiftly, seized Alex (and his saddlebags containing the iPad) and threw him over her saddle - in the blink of an eye Alex and the Oz-ians (AND THE iPAD) were gone! Only a huge cloud of dust remained, choking the rancher's family and causing the hens to cough mightily.

"Pa -- what'll we do?" cried IAm. We've lost the iPad! Pshellyrose and Psweetpea began screeching when they realized they had lost Alex too!

KennyC(hicken) grimly walked back to the ranch office and ordered GeoffC(hicken) "Quick! Wake up joyous_cowpat - the fastest man ever to key in messages on the telegraph! Sober him up and have him send out a SOS - this is a job for dave's robotic rangers!"

GeoffC ran into the bunkhouse and found joyous_cowpat already bent over the telegraph apparatus, clicking the send key so fast his hand was a blur heating the air over it!
"Quick, stop what you're doing! We need to send a SOS to the garrison. Those dang blamed Oz-ians have kidnapped Alex and stolen OUR iPad! Have Ranger dave ride out immediately with his robotic rangers and track down those savages before they break the iPad. Oh, and bring back Alex if SS is done with him."

j_c didn't even pause in his maniacal clicking, and said "No problem. I've already posted your SOS at dave's, while also posting obscene messages on the Oz-ian's bulletin board and alerting the town to your catastrophe!" "And I ordered some pizzas, since they took beppe too - and he's the only one here who knows how to cook chicken!"

(To Be Continued - you knew this was a Western - sooner or later the cavalry would get called in)
(What unspeakable horrors will SS inflict on Alex?)
(Will the ape figure out how to power up the iPad?)
(Will Mountsymags clock himself with his own crowbar?)

(Stay tuned!)

(And don't forget the posse being formed in town!)

kindlekitten · 07-02-2010, 09:07 PM

author! author!

rebarnmom · 07-02-2010, 09:15 PM

Yee Haw! That there is one humdinger of a story! It's got me sitting on the edge of my saddle! Now where's my horse?

(cavalry... of course)
(unspeakable horror... can't watch)
(ape... iPad... they do have opposable thumbs)
(crowbar... nah, not with them new-fangled and mighty fetching spectacles)

(Will do!)

(Who could?)

Javed · 07-02-2010, 09:29 PM

Clever Ozians got the iPad!

I hope the gibbon stays away from the crowbar or unspeakable horror may happen to the iPad.

dreams · 07-02-2010, 09:48 PM

**joyous_cowpat **

SneakySnake · 07-02-2010, 09:52 PM

MUwahahahaha! Told ya that ipad was mine!

Alex will announce it to all very soon

recluse · 07-02-2010, 10:29 PM

Hi Yo Dingaling!

Vintage Season · 07-02-2010, 11:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by recluse

Hi Yo Dingaling!

Where is Red Hot Ryder when you need him?

- M.

rebarnmom · 07-03-2010, 01:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dreams

**joyous_cowpat **

OMG! I can't believe I couldn't figure that out! Well, then again,I guess I can!

Mare of Earth · 07-03-2010, 08:05 AM

I am particularly fond of the descriptins of the OZ-Indians! ROTFL!

ShortNCuddlyAm · 07-03-2010, 11:05 AM

Brilliant! *applauds*

WT Sharpe · 07-03-2010, 12:08 PM

Poohbear_nc, I hope someone does collect all your High Noon submissions into a MR download. High Noon has become the high point of my day! I shouldn't risk jinxing my own chances like this, but you really deserve an iPad!

poohbear_nc · 07-03-2010, 08:37 PM

HIGH NOON

A HERO IS BORN!

Gentle reader, let us hover o'er the Oz-Injun camp, in particular over one softly lit teepee that seems to be convulsing from the activity within. Let us gently place an ear against the brightly painted canvas and listen a little to the sweet nothings being exchanged between SS and her captive Alex:

SS: "Stop struggling dang you! I have to search you for the iPad!"
Alex: "I keep telling you -- it's in my saddlebags - that you gave to Queen KC!"
SS: "I tell you I'm going to search you anyway - hold still!"
Alex: "I'm not going to wear blue jammies with kitties on them!"
SS: "Then you'll go nekkid!"
Alex: "For petes sake, somebody save me!"

Let's leave the lovebirds to their unique courting rituals and return to the devastated hamlet of MR-Rock, after the stampede of the shums!

Moonlight bathes the tiny, dusty, and tired town of MR-Rock. The empty streets are littered with broken glass, bits of wood, and empty juice boxes dropped by the rampaging shums. The weary townsfolk have finally captured the last rampant shum and returned all to their places of captivity, errr residence. The battle between the generations is finally over for today. A new battle looms on the horizon.

The alarm bells have been silenced! Kindlish kitten had crupt up the belfrey stairs and pushed a kitten through the cat flap in recluse's door. She waited until she heard purring - from both the kitten and recluse. Cute kittens could always calm ol' recluse after a shum attack!

Figures of authority, concerned citizens, and town drunks have filtered back into what's left of the Llounge Saloon. Doc is busily filling glasses and taking musical requests for the gibbon at the player piano .... who has mysteriously vanished! Doc jumps onto the bar and shouts "Is there a musician in the house?" No one answers. "Dang," he mutters, "without the piano music to distract the customers, I can't water down the whiskey tonight! I'm gonna dock that ape's wages big time for this!" "I better call the girls down early to provide some entertainment for this crowd."

Sheriff HarryT and Judge Nate were huddled at table in the back of the room, discussing the missing iPad situation. Deputy Bob joined them, along with the gray doggie.
"We've got to track down that varmint Alex and get our town's iPad back! We can't let him get away with it again!" intoned the Judge.

"Yeah," agreed the Sheriff, "Miss Patricia has found the manual for it."
"But how will we find out where he's got to? The shum stampede has covered all the tracks left by that dang Mare!"
The three men sat silently drinking, pondering their seemingly hapless situation.

"We could form a posse!" cried the deputy. "Swear in a bunch of townsfolk, find Alex, lynch the varmint, and bring the iPad back to town."

"But how are we gonna find Alex now?" objected the Judge. "We'll need a tracker to lead our posse."

The gray doggie raised his head at these words, and darted out of the saloon into the night. No one noticed he was gone, except for a few hungry fleas who promptly jumped onto the deputy.

Meanwhile, by the empty piano, the cat-house ladies were assembling to sing a few show tune numbers, and had noticed the large absence of the gibbon. They stood there, shifting from stilletto-heeled foot to foot, waiting for the music to begin. The crowd was growing restless, angrily calling for some entertainment.

Things were getting ugly in the Llounge Saloon....

The gray doggie ran back into the saloon ... followed by a slouched bearded dusty man, who ambled up to the bar and said: "Heard you're looking for a tracker. Well, I'm your man. Name is Vintage Seasonings. I can find a flea blindfolded in a room full of wolves. I can find a flea even if he isn't wearing a blindfold. I'll track down your iPad."

"Well stranger," said Doc as he poured the whiskey, "I don't know about that. The fugitive has quite a start on you, there's been a stampede, and we've been seeing a lot of fireworks over at the Oz-Injun reservation. Things look mighty dangerous out there."

Seasonings just laughed in a hopeless, capable sort of way, and said "I like a challenge."

He turned to face the now silent room and shouted "Who's with me? Who wants to catch a thief? Who will ride with me into the desert?"

A hush blanketed the bar .....

(To Be Continued .... who will ride with Seasonings?)
(What unspeakable horror is Alex undergoing?)
(Has Queen KC changed the password on the iPad?)

(Don't forget -- the robotic rangers are coming!)

Mare of Earth · 07-03-2010, 08:50 PM

*falls off the couch laughing*
Oowwww....

Love you poohbear_nc! Keep the laughter coming!

SneakySnake · 07-03-2010, 09:13 PM

Keep 'em coming. WE love it!

07-03-2010, 08:37 PM	#883
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 63,527 Karma: 135239851 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	HIGH NOON A HERO IS BORN! Gentle reader, let us hover o'er the Oz-Injun camp, in particular over one softly lit teepee that seems to be convulsing from the activity within. Let us gently place an ear against the brightly painted canvas and listen a little to the sweet nothings being exchanged between SS and her captive Alex: SS: "Stop struggling dang you! I have to search you for the iPad!" Alex: "I keep telling you -- it's in my saddlebags - that you gave to Queen KC!" SS: "I tell you I'm going to search you anyway - hold still!" Alex: "I'm not going to wear blue jammies with kitties on them!" SS: "Then you'll go nekkid!" Alex: "For petes sake, somebody save me!" Let's leave the lovebirds to their unique courting rituals and return to the devastated hamlet of MR-Rock, after the stampede of the shums! Moonlight bathes the tiny, dusty, and tired town of MR-Rock. The empty streets are littered with broken glass, bits of wood, and empty juice boxes dropped by the rampaging shums. The weary townsfolk have finally captured the last rampant shum and returned all to their places of captivity, errr residence. The battle between the generations is finally over for today. A new battle looms on the horizon. The alarm bells have been silenced! Kindlish kitten had crupt up the belfrey stairs and pushed a kitten through the cat flap in recluse's door. She waited until she heard purring - from both the kitten and recluse. Cute kittens could always calm ol' recluse after a shum attack! Figures of authority, concerned citizens, and town drunks have filtered back into what's left of the Llounge Saloon. Doc is busily filling glasses and taking musical requests for the gibbon at the player piano .... who has mysteriously vanished! Doc jumps onto the bar and shouts "Is there a musician in the house?" No one answers. "Dang," he mutters, "without the piano music to distract the customers, I can't water down the whiskey tonight! I'm gonna dock that ape's wages big time for this!" "I better call the girls down early to provide some entertainment for this crowd." Sheriff HarryT and Judge Nate were huddled at table in the back of the room, discussing the missing iPad situation. Deputy Bob joined them, along with the gray doggie. "We've got to track down that varmint Alex and get our town's iPad back! We can't let him get away with it again!" intoned the Judge. "Yeah," agreed the Sheriff, "Miss Patricia has found the manual for it." "But how will we find out where he's got to? The shum stampede has covered all the tracks left by that dang Mare!" The three men sat silently drinking, pondering their seemingly hapless situation. "We could form a posse!" cried the deputy. "Swear in a bunch of townsfolk, find Alex, lynch the varmint, and bring the iPad back to town." "But how are we gonna find Alex now?" objected the Judge. "We'll need a tracker to lead our posse." The gray doggie raised his head at these words, and darted out of the saloon into the night. No one noticed he was gone, except for a few hungry fleas who promptly jumped onto the deputy. Meanwhile, by the empty piano, the cat-house ladies were assembling to sing a few show tune numbers, and had noticed the large absence of the gibbon. They stood there, shifting from stilletto-heeled foot to foot, waiting for the music to begin. The crowd was growing restless, angrily calling for some entertainment. Things were getting ugly in the Llounge Saloon.... The gray doggie ran back into the saloon ... followed by a slouched bearded dusty man, who ambled up to the bar and said: "Heard you're looking for a tracker. Well, I'm your man. Name is Vintage Seasonings. I can find a flea blindfolded in a room full of wolves. I can find a flea even if he isn't wearing a blindfold. I'll track down your iPad." "Well stranger," said Doc as he poured the whiskey, "I don't know about that. The fugitive has quite a start on you, there's been a stampede, and we've been seeing a lot of fireworks over at the Oz-Injun reservation. Things look mighty dangerous out there." Seasonings just laughed in a hopeless, capable sort of way, and said "I like a challenge." He turned to face the now silent room and shouted "Who's with me? Who wants to catch a thief? Who will ride with me into the desert?" A hush blanketed the bar ..... (To Be Continued .... who will ride with Seasonings?) (What unspeakable horror is Alex undergoing?) (Has Queen KC changed the password on the iPad?) (Don't forget -- the robotic rangers are coming!) Last edited by poohbear_nc; 07-04-2010 at 01:11 PM.

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07-02-2010, 08:54 PM	#871
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 63,527 Karma: 135239851 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	HIGH NOON CIRCLE THE WAGONS!! Alex ran to the door with the chicken rancher and his family, and saw a cloud of dust approaching the ranch. Brightly clad figures could be barely made out as the approaching horde began circling the helpless ranch! IAm cried out "Look! There's the queen! Queen Katti'sCat herself! And her royal consort MOTT (Man Of The Teepee) She was cursed by a neighboring tribe's shaman with brain fever - real bad brain fever - and the Oz-ians thought they were going to lose her. But their own shaman Mountsymags and his big ape did some powerful magic along with the rest of the tribe - and she's riding proud and tall again. A little slow yet - but she ain't giving up! No how! No way! We're doomed!" Alex peered into the dust cloud and asked "Who's that slinky sexy woman in blue jammies?" "Oh -- that's SS - the Ozian's warrior princess. She's as mean as a snake - and just as deadly!" "And look - there's the Bird Woman lene-loo-hoo - with her little circle of flying friends. Watch out or they'll land poo-bombs on your head!" By now Alex was becoming totally confused, trying to pick out each Oz-ian as they flashed by. He saw Mountsymags - propeller spinning wildly on his cap, swinging a crowbar around his head. There was nomeskittyque scribbling a description of the battle for publication even before it happened! And hordes more of the gaudily clad wild denizens from the land down under civilized world. They made his head spin as they flashed by on horseback! Then disaster struck! SS rode in swiftly, seized Alex (and his saddlebags containing the iPad) and threw him over her saddle - in the blink of an eye Alex and the Oz-ians (AND THE iPAD) were gone! Only a huge cloud of dust remained, choking the rancher's family and causing the hens to cough mightily. "Pa -- what'll we do?" cried IAm. We've lost the iPad! Pshellyrose and Psweetpea began screeching when they realized they had lost Alex too! KennyC(hicken) grimly walked back to the ranch office and ordered GeoffC(hicken) "Quick! Wake up joyous_cowpat - the fastest man ever to key in messages on the telegraph! Sober him up and have him send out a SOS - this is a job for dave's robotic rangers!" GeoffC ran into the bunkhouse and found joyous_cowpat already bent over the telegraph apparatus, clicking the send key so fast his hand was a blur heating the air over it! "Quick, stop what you're doing! We need to send a SOS to the garrison. Those dang blamed Oz-ians have kidnapped Alex and stolen OUR iPad! Have Ranger dave ride out immediately with his robotic rangers and track down those savages before they break the iPad. Oh, and bring back Alex if SS is done with him." j_c didn't even pause in his maniacal clicking, and said "No problem. I've already posted your SOS at dave's, while also posting obscene messages on the Oz-ian's bulletin board and alerting the town to your catastrophe!" "And I ordered some pizzas, since they took beppe too - and he's the only one here who knows how to cook chicken!" (To Be Continued - you knew this was a Western - sooner or later the cavalry would get called in) (What unspeakable horrors will SS inflict on Alex?) (Will the ape figure out how to power up the iPad?) (Will Mountsymags clock himself with his own crowbar?) (Stay tuned!) (And don't forget the posse being formed in town!)

07-02-2010, 09:07 PM	#872
kindlekitten Professional Adventuress Posts: 13,368 Karma: 50260224 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: The Olympic Peninsula on the OTHER Washington! (the big green clean one on the west coast!) Device: Kindle, the original! Times Two! and gifting an International Kindle	author! author!

07-02-2010, 09:15 PM	#873
rebarnmom Wizard Posts: 1,289 Karma: 4525055 Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: rural Illinois, USA Device: Sony PRS-700 (traded in), Sony PRS-650	Yee Haw! That there is one humdinger of a story! It's got me sitting on the edge of my saddle! Now where's my horse? (cavalry... of course) (unspeakable horror... can't watch) (ape... iPad... they do have opposable thumbs) (crowbar... nah, not with them new-fangled and mighty fetching spectacles) (Will do!) (Who could?)

07-02-2010, 09:29 PM	#874
Javed Grand Sorcerer Posts: 10,270 Karma: 1126878541 Join Date: Oct 2009 Device: Astak Pocket PRO, iPod Touch, PRS-650	Clever Ozians got the iPad! I hope the gibbon stays away from the crowbar or unspeakable horror may happen to the iPad.

07-02-2010, 09:48 PM	#875
dreams It's about the umbrella Posts: 25,110 Karma: 56250158 Join Date: Jan 2009 Device: Sony 505\| K Fire \| KK 3G+Wi-Fi \| iPhone 3Gs \|Vista 32-bit Hm Prem w/FF	joyous_cowpat

07-02-2010, 09:52 PM	#876
SneakySnake I'm watching you! Posts: 6,113 Karma: 22344652 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Sunny Coast Qld, OZ Device: Sony PRS-900(unused lately) iPadAir2, want me Kindle Oasis	MUwahahahaha! Told ya that ipad was mine! Alex will announce it to all very soon

07-02-2010, 10:29 PM	#877
recluse Banned Posts: 3,724 Karma: 535488 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: the Mortuary Device: Kindle 2	Hi Yo Dingaling!

07-03-2010, 08:05 AM	#880
Mare of Earth Leaver of Hoofmarks Posts: 207 Karma: 24077 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Northern Alabama Device: Kindle Scribe, Kindle Paperwhite 4	I am particularly fond of the descriptins of the OZ-Indians! ROTFL!

07-03-2010, 11:05 AM	#881
ShortNCuddlyAm WWHALD Posts: 7,879 Karma: 337114 Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Mitcham, Surrey, UK Device: iPad. Selling my silver 505 here	Brilliant! applauds

07-03-2010, 12:08 PM	#882
WT Sharpe Bah, humbug! Posts: 39,072 Karma: 157049943 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Chesapeake, VA, USA Device: Kindle Oasis, iPad Pro, & a Samsung Galaxy S9.	Poohbear_nc, I hope someone does collect all your High Noon submissions into a MR download. High Noon has become the high point of my day! I shouldn't risk jinxing my own chances like this, but you really deserve an iPad!

07-03-2010, 08:50 PM	#884
Mare of Earth Leaver of Hoofmarks Posts: 207 Karma: 24077 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Northern Alabama Device: Kindle Scribe, Kindle Paperwhite 4	falls off the couch laughing Oowwww.... Love you poohbear_nc! Keep the laughter coming!

07-03-2010, 09:13 PM	#885
SneakySnake I'm watching you! Posts: 6,113 Karma: 22344652 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Sunny Coast Qld, OZ Device: Sony PRS-900(unused lately) iPadAir2, want me Kindle Oasis	Keep 'em coming. WE love it!