MobileRead's Win an iPad - E-Reader Survey - Page 57

GeoffC · 07-01-2010, 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kindlekitten

*giggle*

nekkid chicken .... :shuddersagain:

recluse · 07-01-2010, 11:26 AM

Someone cover up that chicken!
This is a family Forum!
We're going to have to disinfect the place now.

poohbear_nc · 07-01-2010, 08:28 PM

HIGH NOON

MY DINNER WITH ALEX

Alex let himself be led into the big red farmhouse and was introduced to the two daughters, lovely Pshellyrose clad entirely in red floral patterns, and Psweetpea who purred when introduced to the handsome stranger wearing the weary but knowing smirk under his dusty Stetson! The two little ladies vied with one another to gain his attention and monopolize his conversation.

"Shame, shame" cried their mother, the shortest woman Alex had ever looked over, errr, had ever seen, "leave the poor boy alone until at least after supper." KennyC(hicken) saw his bemused stare and explained "Yup, she might be short but she's the best cuddler this side of the Pecos." IAm blushed prettily and said "Oh pa! Don't embarrass me in front of our guest."

Just then Alex was saved from further conversational forays by the sound of the dinner gong: "Cock-a-doodle-do" reverberated over the ranch, causing all the nesting hens to shriek madly inside the barns.
KennyC hauled Alex into the brightly lit dining room and sat him down between his two daughters, who simpered and primped using their shining dinner plates as mirrors.

Then chef beppe, "the terror of all pullets," and his shy, quiet assistant Davimeet-ya began serving the dinner. It was ALL chicken! Course after course after course of chicken. Beppe and Davimeet-ya groaned under the trays of gallinaceous gourmet pickings. Chicken soup. Chicken cheese sticks. Roast chicken. Fried chicken. Cold chicken. Chicken nuggets. Chicken slivers. ....... Alex's head swam with horror as he heard his host declaim: "Yup, we love chicken here. All chickens. All the time. We have chicken every day for every meal. We even dream of chickens. Chickens are my best friends. My little girls grew up in the hen house playing with their meals." And on and on and on went the devilish diatribe until Alex became pale and faint. The two girls accentuated their father's speech by clutching Alex's thigh excitedly just thinking about chickens.

Just when Alex thought he would scream if he heard the word chicken one more time, the drums began .... at first faintly in the far distance, but then growing loud and rhythmic as the individual drummers found their beat. Desperate to change the dinner table topic of non-conversation, Alex innocently asked "Who's playing the drums? Is it a neighboring ranch?"

KennyC's face darkened at once, suffused with rage and hatred. "Them's the drums of those heathenish Oz-Indians! They live in the middle of nowhere and obey no laws of man or land. They claim their tribe sprang forth on a continent of their own, but can't explain how they ended up here in our desert. They claim that their tribal motto is 'Better living through chemicals' - but every time one of them varmints yells it they all fall down howling and laughing like wild godless apes."

"At first they weren't too bad as neighbors -- until they started stealing the chicken feed and fermenting it into grain mash -- and making their own rot-gut whiskey! Out of perfectly good, nutritious chicken feed! What a waste!"

"They're led by a shaman, Mountsymagazines - you'll recognize him right off with his heathenish face paint and ungodly hat. He claims to have a big ugly hairy gibbon as his familiar."

Alex broke in excitedly "Yes -- I saw him at the Llounge Saloon playing the piano."
"Right," agreed IAm, "when Mags doesn't need him for scrying and casting spells, the gibbon has a day job at the saloon. He's the only one strong enough to wind the rolls and pump the pedals on that old piece of junk they call a pianer!"

"The shaman is the one who turned Wolf man into the creature he is today. Did you meet him too at the saloon?"
Alex shuddered as he remembered those demonic, brooding mis-matched googly eyes peering into his soul.

GeoffChicken ran in the door just then and announced: "Boss! Come quick! Those dang-blamed Oz-Injuns are on the move! Coming this way! And they have their queen riding with them!" Shrill hennish screams rang out over the ranch! Chickens were trying to fly!

(To be continued .... c'mon folks - it's a western - you knew there'd be Indians)
(And what's happening back in MR-Rock?)
(Who will rescue the hapless residents of the Cross-the-Road Chicken ranch?)

ShortNCuddlyAm · 07-01-2010, 08:32 PM

Yay! Another instalment and just before my bedtime, too

poohbear_nc · 07-01-2010, 09:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShortNCuddlyAm

Yay! Another instalment and just before my bedtime, too

And starring you too!

montsnmags · 07-01-2010, 10:09 PM

Someone should give that Mags fella a good THUNK! across the noggin with a crowbar, I reckon. He sounds like a right prat. The gibbon sounds pretty flash but. Wonder where I can get me one of them...?

Cheers,
Marc [with the gibberings and ululations and lunatic capering of animalistic joy]

recluse · 07-01-2010, 11:05 PM

Pooh, may the spirit of Jay SilverHeels tinkle in your left ear.

Otherwise, it was swell.

Still don't like that damn gibbon though.

SneakySnake · 07-01-2010, 11:12 PM

Do chickens have ears? And BTW if no ears (he may have holes) how do those lovely green spectacles stay put?

dreams · 07-01-2010, 11:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

<snip>
GeoffChicken ran in the door just then and announced: "Boss! Come quick! Those dang-blamed Oz-Injuns are on the move! Coming this way! And they have their queen riding with them!" Shrill hennish screams rang out over the ranch! Chickens were trying to fly! <snip>

Oooo, Oz-Injuns and they are on the move with their Oz-Injun Queen!

**wonderingwhoitwillbe**

Davimee · 07-02-2010, 12:27 AM

Ooh! Ooh! I'm in the story! I'm famous!

dsvick · 07-02-2010, 08:16 AM

Another great installment, I'll see what I can do with an eVersion today, or over the weekend for sure.

Pooh, should you need a fall guy, scape goat, dashing hero, guy who gets the girls, or even just a red shirt, I'd be honored to have place in your story.

poohbear_nc · 07-02-2010, 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dsvick

Another great installment, I'll see what I can do with an eVersion today, or over the weekend for sure.

Pooh, should you need a fall guy, scape goat, dashing hero, guy who gets the girls, or even just a red shirt, I'd be honored to have place in your story.

dashing hero, hmmmm, we will need a rescue soon won't we?

WT Sharpe · 07-02-2010, 09:41 AM

I think the tale needs some courtroom drama, myself...

poohbear_nc · 07-02-2010, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

I think the tale needs some courtroom drama, myself...

but first the fugitive must be rescued from the Oz-Injuns & then captured by the town posse ... [spoiler!!] and brought to justice!

JSWolf · 07-02-2010, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

dashing hero, hmmmm, we will need a rescue soon won't we?

If you'd like, I'll volunteer to rescue the iPad and keep it safe here with me.

07-01-2010, 08:28 PM	#843
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 63,585 Karma: 135239851 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	HIGH NOON MY DINNER WITH ALEX Alex let himself be led into the big red farmhouse and was introduced to the two daughters, lovely Pshellyrose clad entirely in red floral patterns, and Psweetpea who purred when introduced to the handsome stranger wearing the weary but knowing smirk under his dusty Stetson! The two little ladies vied with one another to gain his attention and monopolize his conversation. "Shame, shame" cried their mother, the shortest woman Alex had ever looked over, errr, had ever seen, "leave the poor boy alone until at least after supper." KennyC(hicken) saw his bemused stare and explained "Yup, she might be short but she's the best cuddler this side of the Pecos." IAm blushed prettily and said "Oh pa! Don't embarrass me in front of our guest." Just then Alex was saved from further conversational forays by the sound of the dinner gong: "Cock-a-doodle-do" reverberated over the ranch, causing all the nesting hens to shriek madly inside the barns. KennyC hauled Alex into the brightly lit dining room and sat him down between his two daughters, who simpered and primped using their shining dinner plates as mirrors. Then chef beppe, "the terror of all pullets," and his shy, quiet assistant Davimeet-ya began serving the dinner. It was ALL chicken! Course after course after course of chicken. Beppe and Davimeet-ya groaned under the trays of gallinaceous gourmet pickings. Chicken soup. Chicken cheese sticks. Roast chicken. Fried chicken. Cold chicken. Chicken nuggets. Chicken slivers. ....... Alex's head swam with horror as he heard his host declaim: "Yup, we love chicken here. All chickens. All the time. We have chicken every day for every meal. We even dream of chickens. Chickens are my best friends. My little girls grew up in the hen house playing with their meals." And on and on and on went the devilish diatribe until Alex became pale and faint. The two girls accentuated their father's speech by clutching Alex's thigh excitedly just thinking about chickens. Just when Alex thought he would scream if he heard the word chicken one more time, the drums began .... at first faintly in the far distance, but then growing loud and rhythmic as the individual drummers found their beat. Desperate to change the dinner table topic of non-conversation, Alex innocently asked "Who's playing the drums? Is it a neighboring ranch?" KennyC's face darkened at once, suffused with rage and hatred. "Them's the drums of those heathenish Oz-Indians! They live in the middle of nowhere and obey no laws of man or land. They claim their tribe sprang forth on a continent of their own, but can't explain how they ended up here in our desert. They claim that their tribal motto is 'Better living through chemicals' - but every time one of them varmints yells it they all fall down howling and laughing like wild godless apes." "At first they weren't too bad as neighbors -- until they started stealing the chicken feed and fermenting it into grain mash -- and making their own rot-gut whiskey! Out of perfectly good, nutritious chicken feed! What a waste!" "They're led by a shaman, Mountsymagazines - you'll recognize him right off with his heathenish face paint and ungodly hat. He claims to have a big ugly hairy gibbon as his familiar." Alex broke in excitedly "Yes -- I saw him at the Llounge Saloon playing the piano." "Right," agreed IAm, "when Mags doesn't need him for scrying and casting spells, the gibbon has a day job at the saloon. He's the only one strong enough to wind the rolls and pump the pedals on that old piece of junk they call a pianer!" "The shaman is the one who turned Wolf man into the creature he is today. Did you meet him too at the saloon?" Alex shuddered as he remembered those demonic, brooding mis-matched googly eyes peering into his soul. GeoffChicken ran in the door just then and announced: "Boss! Come quick! Those dang-blamed Oz-Injuns are on the move! Coming this way! And they have their queen riding with them!" Shrill hennish screams rang out over the ranch! Chickens were trying to fly! (To be continued .... c'mon folks - it's a western - you knew there'd be Indians) (And what's happening back in MR-Rock?) (Who will rescue the hapless residents of the Cross-the-Road Chicken ranch?) Last edited by poohbear_nc; 07-02-2010 at 09:13 AM.

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Winner of the Win an iPad Survey	Alexander Turcic	Announcements	44	07-28-2010 05:01 PM
iPad Reuters: Still plenty of demand for iPad: Survey	kjk	Apple Devices	4	07-16-2010 06:22 PM
eBook Survey with Chance to Win $250	daffy4u	Deals and Resources (No Self-Promotion or Affiliate Links)	0	02-03-2010 09:50 PM
O'Reilly Ebook Survey with a chance to win $200 worth of their ebooks	daffy4u	News	3	09-12-2009 04:55 PM

07-01-2010, 11:26 AM	#842
recluse Banned Posts: 3,724 Karma: 535488 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: the Mortuary Device: Kindle 2	Someone cover up that chicken! This is a family Forum! We're going to have to disinfect the place now.

07-01-2010, 08:32 PM	#844
ShortNCuddlyAm WWHALD Posts: 7,879 Karma: 337114 Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Mitcham, Surrey, UK Device: iPad. Selling my silver 505 here	Yay! Another instalment and just before my bedtime, too

07-01-2010, 10:09 PM	#846
montsnmags Grand Sorcerer Posts: 10,155 Karma: 4632658 Join Date: Nov 2007 Device: none	Someone should give that Mags fella a good THUNK! across the noggin with a crowbar, I reckon. He sounds like a right prat. The gibbon sounds pretty flash but. Wonder where I can get me one of them...? Cheers, Marc [with the gibberings and ululations and lunatic capering of animalistic joy]

07-01-2010, 11:05 PM	#847
recluse Banned Posts: 3,724 Karma: 535488 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: the Mortuary Device: Kindle 2	Pooh, may the spirit of Jay SilverHeels tinkle in your left ear. Otherwise, it was swell. Still don't like that damn gibbon though.

07-01-2010, 11:12 PM	#848
SneakySnake I'm watching you! Posts: 6,113 Karma: 22344652 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Sunny Coast Qld, OZ Device: Sony PRS-900(unused lately) iPadAir2, want me Kindle Oasis	Do chickens have ears? And BTW if no ears (he may have holes) how do those lovely green spectacles stay put?

07-02-2010, 12:27 AM	#850
Davimee Happy Wife & Momma Posts: 532 Karma: 1634 Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: USA Device: Purple Astak Pocket Pro! :)	Ooh! Ooh! I'm in the story! I'm famous!

07-02-2010, 08:16 AM	#851
dsvick Wizard Posts: 2,737 Karma: 635747 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Northeast Ohio, USA Device: PRS-900	Another great installment, I'll see what I can do with an eVersion today, or over the weekend for sure. Pooh, should you need a fall guy, scape goat, dashing hero, guy who gets the girls, or even just a red shirt, I'd be honored to have place in your story.

07-02-2010, 09:41 AM	#853
WT Sharpe Bah, humbug! Posts: 39,072 Karma: 157049943 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Chesapeake, VA, USA Device: Kindle Oasis, iPad Pro, & a Samsung Galaxy S9.	I think the tale needs some courtroom drama, myself...