MobileRead's Win an iPad - E-Reader Survey - Page 44

poohbear_nc · 06-26-2010, 06:47 PM

Aren't you all too cute? Trying to bribe me to post another installment.
OK - putting my thinking cap on.

Davimee · 06-26-2010, 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

Aren't you all too cute? Trying to bribe me to post another installment.
OK - putting my thinking cap on.

*clapping* Yea! Hey, and if you win the iPad, you can write stories for us on your new shiny iPad, every day, for the rest of your life!

montsnmags · 06-26-2010, 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

Aren't you all too cute? Trying to bribe me to post another installment.
...

I'll give you a dollar(*).

Cheers,
Marc
(* This statement should not be construed as intent to give you a dollar)

poohbear_nc · 06-26-2010, 07:04 PM

HIGH NOON

THE NEVERENDING STORY

The blonde bimbo was reaching the climax of her husky ballad when a high clear note came out of the player piano. The ape threw up his paws and dove under a table. All heads snapped towards the door, where the man in black's thin cigar had just set off the smoke detector.

"Damn your safety regulations" muttered Doc in the general direction of Judge Nate. "This happens every night and just puts everyone off wanting another drink." He reached under the bar, pulled out a revolver, and shot the alarm off the top of the piano. The bullet ricocheted, blowing the bow off the blonde's head, and knocking pilotbob's umbrella out of his hand.

Totally ignoring the ensuing bedlam, the man in black entered the light cast by the lone kerosene lamp over the bar. The entire audience gasped in unison. "It's him! It's the Wolf man! JS the Wolf man! The meanest man in all of MR-Rock."

Lawyer Tom leaned over Alex and explained: "JS used to be just an ordinary cowpoke until he took it into his head to visit the Indians camped on the prairie. They made him undergo some new fangled type of spiritual initiation and it changed him bad! Way bad! When he came back to town, his appearance kept changing. One time he'd look like a bear. Then a pig. Then a flightless water fowl. But the worst was the time he looked like a man - yes a man - trapped from the neck down in a giant metal salt shaker - clawing and screaming - trying to pull hisself out of it! But you always know it's him! It's the eyes - they're lop-sided and kind of googly - in a bad kind of way. Never look directly into his eyes!"

Alex gazed at this mystery man and blinked as his appearance kept shifting, while the eyes stayed the same. Big, round, googly eyes that stayed fixed on him. He strained his ears to hear the shamanic chant coming from those grim lips: "PDF is NOT an ebook format. PDF is NOT an ebook format." What sort of devilish spell was he casting on the hapless fugitive?

The the Wolf man's eyes shifted to the iPad on the bar and the fires of Hades leaped into those soulless black eyes. His hand rose at the end of his arm -- as if lifted by puppet strings -- and his quivering index finger stabbed towards the dusty tablet. "No! No! It can't be! I cursed you, you diabolical creation of Satan! You're not perfect enough to exist in this world! You can't multitask! You don't allow personal files to be loaded! You're autonomous! I can't control you! Die! Die I command you! Die!"

And he lunged forwards, black coat tails flapping, fingers clutching like the talons of some great bird of prey....

(To be continued ... cats are hungry)

WT Sharpe · 06-26-2010, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

I think this announcement was caused by realizing pilotbob is going to be featured in the next installment!

BOb, if you want to sue, I'm a witness!

I think we have a good case in those words for getting around any disclaimer! Just make sure to include my cut in the settlement!

Bratzzo · 06-26-2010, 07:17 PM

Hi,

sorry, but my english is not so good.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alexander Turcic

My apologies about the delay, everyone. We'll have our winner this week and I will hopefully be able to supply you with some preliminary results of the survey.

27 days ago
if this means, that "this week" means at least 27 days...

Quote:

Originally Posted by pilotbob

I'm not sure if I'm supposed to say... but I have heard from Alex and resolution of this issue is imminent.

... what ist the meaning of "imminent"?

SCNR

Bratzzo

Vintage Season · 06-26-2010, 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by omk3

Do you think the chicken could write faster if he was typing on an iPad?

Well maybe if he was using...

Bound to be easier to read than chicken scratching!

- M.

P.S.: No, I don't have any connection with the developer. I just thought that app looked useful, and if I win the iPad I'll be testing several typewriter apps ASAP, so I can use it for a portable writing device.

poohbear_nc · 06-26-2010, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vintage Season

Well maybe if he was using...

Bound to be easier to read than chicken scratching!

- M.

P.S.: No, I don't have any connection with the developer. I just thought that app looked useful, and if I win the iPad I'll be testing several typewriter apps ASAP, so I can use it for a portable writing device.

It looks just like a typewriter I used AGES ago - love those round keys! I'm inspired!

Vintage Season · 06-26-2010, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

It looks just like a typewriter I used AGES ago - love those round keys! I'm inspired!

Near as I can tell, it's also a dead ringer for the old Royal up in my office.

- M.

SneakySnake · 06-26-2010, 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by omk3

Who needs an iPad? Give me pooh's stories every day

More!

I concur! unless of course they are actually giving the iPad to me

Quote:

Originally Posted by pilotbob

I'm not sure if I'm supposed to say... but I have heard from Alex and resolution of this issue is imminent.

BOb

(....as in the Bookeen firmware update is imminent. JK)

*holding breath* I knew it. I can nearly taste my new iPad.

kindlekitten · 06-26-2010, 08:17 PM

I bet he tells his kitties stories all the time

WT Sharpe · 06-28-2010, 07:28 AM

Poor chicken. He had a migraine yesterday. It may be a few days before we get another High Noon installment.

Get well soon, poohbear_nc.

Davimee · 06-28-2010, 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

Poor chicken. He had a migraine yesterday. It may be a few days before we get another High Noon installment.

Get well soon, poohbear_nc.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that! I know how miserable migraines are. Yes, please get to feeling better poohbear!

dsvick · 06-28-2010, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by omk3

Do you think the chicken could write faster if he was typing on an iPad?

Possibly, but I'm sure I could read them faster, and in more places, on one....

Keep the installments coming pooh, they're awesome!

poohbear_nc · 06-28-2010, 12:21 PM

HIGH NOON

THE DANCE REMIX

VIEWER WARNING: PG13 - Explicit anatomical references of a highly embarrassing nature contained.

A sharp rap from grandma's big stick ended the Wolf man's attempt to destroy the iPad. He slumped to the floor, where the gray doggie began to administer tongue-to-face resuscitation and go through his pockets for any stray donuts.

Sheriff HarryT and Deputy pilotbob again approached Alex and the iPad, certain now they could get both into protective custody in the broken-down MR-Rock jail.

But word of the iPad's mysterious return had been traveling through the town, from door to door, and mouth to mouth. Folks who would never be caught dead or alive in a saloon were drifting toward the Llounge, eager to see if for once rumor was truth! A large crowd gathered on the hot, dusty sidewalk and tried to see into the dusky tavern.

A tall woman wearing a beret pushed her way through the crowd into the saloon. In a voice noted for its perfect French accent and perfect diction, she caroled: "Alex! Eet ees meeee! Florence! You haff returned to meeee! Now I can finish painting your portrait! And you can pay me with your iPad as you haff promised!"

Grandma spat on the floor, cursing as no woman could or should be able to curse, and rasped "What took you so long, you Frenchie-fied floozy? Think we don't know what goes on in that so-called studio of yours? Think we didn't look in the window and see those nekkid men? Huh? And you want to be paid for lookin' at them pieces and parts? Think again sweetie!"

Sheriff HarryT bravely, if foolishly, stepped between the incensed octogenarian and the artist known as Florence. "Well," he drawled, "you claim you was painting this fellow, eh? Can you prove it?"

Florence blushed hotly and whispered "Mas oui, mon sheriffe! I never forget a tushie! Especially such a handsome tushie!"

All eyes flew to Alex, and his backside, as he tried to dig his way out through the floor boards.

Florence continued "Oui - I can prove it! All we have to do is have Alex drop his drawers next to my unfinished portrait. No one will be able to deny my claim then!"

(To be continued)

(Will Alex bare all to save his iPad?)
(Will Florence win the iPad - and Alex?)
(Will grandma have a coronary at the sight?)
(Will the doggie find donuts in Wolf man's pockets?)

Stay tuned!

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06-26-2010, 06:47 PM	#646
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 63,579 Karma: 135239851 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	Aren't you all too cute? Trying to bribe me to post another installment. OK - putting my thinking cap on.

06-26-2010, 07:04 PM	#649
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 63,579 Karma: 135239851 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	HIGH NOON THE NEVERENDING STORY The blonde bimbo was reaching the climax of her husky ballad when a high clear note came out of the player piano. The ape threw up his paws and dove under a table. All heads snapped towards the door, where the man in black's thin cigar had just set off the smoke detector. "Damn your safety regulations" muttered Doc in the general direction of Judge Nate. "This happens every night and just puts everyone off wanting another drink." He reached under the bar, pulled out a revolver, and shot the alarm off the top of the piano. The bullet ricocheted, blowing the bow off the blonde's head, and knocking pilotbob's umbrella out of his hand. Totally ignoring the ensuing bedlam, the man in black entered the light cast by the lone kerosene lamp over the bar. The entire audience gasped in unison. "It's him! It's the Wolf man! JS the Wolf man! The meanest man in all of MR-Rock." Lawyer Tom leaned over Alex and explained: "JS used to be just an ordinary cowpoke until he took it into his head to visit the Indians camped on the prairie. They made him undergo some new fangled type of spiritual initiation and it changed him bad! Way bad! When he came back to town, his appearance kept changing. One time he'd look like a bear. Then a pig. Then a flightless water fowl. But the worst was the time he looked like a man - yes a man - trapped from the neck down in a giant metal salt shaker - clawing and screaming - trying to pull hisself out of it! But you always know it's him! It's the eyes - they're lop-sided and kind of googly - in a bad kind of way. Never look directly into his eyes!" Alex gazed at this mystery man and blinked as his appearance kept shifting, while the eyes stayed the same. Big, round, googly eyes that stayed fixed on him. He strained his ears to hear the shamanic chant coming from those grim lips: "PDF is NOT an ebook format. PDF is NOT an ebook format." What sort of devilish spell was he casting on the hapless fugitive? The the Wolf man's eyes shifted to the iPad on the bar and the fires of Hades leaped into those soulless black eyes. His hand rose at the end of his arm -- as if lifted by puppet strings -- and his quivering index finger stabbed towards the dusty tablet. "No! No! It can't be! I cursed you, you diabolical creation of Satan! You're not perfect enough to exist in this world! You can't multitask! You don't allow personal files to be loaded! You're autonomous! I can't control you! Die! Die I command you! Die!" And he lunged forwards, black coat tails flapping, fingers clutching like the talons of some great bird of prey.... (To be continued ... cats are hungry)

06-26-2010, 08:17 PM	#656
kindlekitten Professional Adventuress Posts: 13,368 Karma: 50260224 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: The Olympic Peninsula on the OTHER Washington! (the big green clean one on the west coast!) Device: Kindle, the original! Times Two! and gifting an International Kindle	I bet he tells his kitties stories all the time

06-28-2010, 07:28 AM	#657
WT Sharpe Bah, humbug! Posts: 39,072 Karma: 157049943 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Chesapeake, VA, USA Device: Kindle Oasis, iPad Pro, & a Samsung Galaxy S9.	Poor chicken. He had a migraine yesterday. It may be a few days before we get another High Noon installment. Get well soon, poohbear_nc.

06-28-2010, 12:21 PM	#660
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 63,579 Karma: 135239851 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	HIGH NOON THE DANCE REMIX VIEWER WARNING: PG13 - Explicit anatomical references of a highly embarrassing nature contained. A sharp rap from grandma's big stick ended the Wolf man's attempt to destroy the iPad. He slumped to the floor, where the gray doggie began to administer tongue-to-face resuscitation and go through his pockets for any stray donuts. Sheriff HarryT and Deputy pilotbob again approached Alex and the iPad, certain now they could get both into protective custody in the broken-down MR-Rock jail. But word of the iPad's mysterious return had been traveling through the town, from door to door, and mouth to mouth. Folks who would never be caught dead or alive in a saloon were drifting toward the Llounge, eager to see if for once rumor was truth! A large crowd gathered on the hot, dusty sidewalk and tried to see into the dusky tavern. A tall woman wearing a beret pushed her way through the crowd into the saloon. In a voice noted for its perfect French accent and perfect diction, she caroled: "Alex! Eet ees meeee! Florence! You haff returned to meeee! Now I can finish painting your portrait! And you can pay me with your iPad as you haff promised!" Grandma spat on the floor, cursing as no woman could or should be able to curse, and rasped "What took you so long, you Frenchie-fied floozy? Think we don't know what goes on in that so-called studio of yours? Think we didn't look in the window and see those nekkid men? Huh? And you want to be paid for lookin' at them pieces and parts? Think again sweetie!" Sheriff HarryT bravely, if foolishly, stepped between the incensed octogenarian and the artist known as Florence. "Well," he drawled, "you claim you was painting this fellow, eh? Can you prove it?" Florence blushed hotly and whispered "Mas oui, mon sheriffe! I never forget a tushie! Especially such a handsome tushie!" All eyes flew to Alex, and his backside, as he tried to dig his way out through the floor boards. Florence continued "Oui - I can prove it! All we have to do is have Alex drop his drawers next to my unfinished portrait. No one will be able to deny my claim then!" (To be continued) (Will Alex bare all to save his iPad?) (Will Florence win the iPad - and Alex?) (Will grandma have a coronary at the sight?) (Will the doggie find donuts in Wolf man's pockets?) Stay tuned!