MobileRead's Win an iPad - E-Reader Survey - Page 42

poohbear_nc · 06-25-2010, 04:15 PM

Gotta go doggie! Next installment later tonight! Keep the home fires burning - and the sauce bubbling!

dreams · 06-25-2010, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

<snip> I knew you could never forget your dreams-girl!"
All this caterwauling was coming from a small but well-built blonde leaning over the stair railing, her low-cut bodice exhibiting her assets for free to the leering crowd below.
"Oh great," muttered Doc "Here comes the town blonde bimbo right on cue.<snip>

.....

**Psst... Blonde bimbos don't caterwaul .. they simper seductively.**

poohbear_nc · 06-25-2010, 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dreams

.....

**Psst... Blonde bimbos don't caterwaul .. they simper seductively.**

Hmmmm .... stay tuned for future episodes! Simpering sock!

Javed · 06-25-2010, 07:45 PM

Pooh, High Noon is wonderful!!
I'm resting under my sombrero until the next installment.

poohbear_nc · 06-25-2010, 09:16 PM

The chicken is too pooped to go on tonight - more installments tomorrow!

Vintage Season · 06-25-2010, 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

The chicken is too pooped to go on tonight - more installments tomorrow!

You just had to go and bring chicken poop into the thread, didn't you?

- M.

SneakySnake · 06-25-2010, 11:43 PM

poohbear_nc · 06-26-2010, 10:14 AM

HIGH NOON THE DIRECTOR'S CUT

All eyes turned to Judge Nate and the babble hushed to a low rumble. Alex cringed behind Zelda as the mighty waterfowl of justice waddled up to the bar counter. His big eyes nearly popped out of his head!

"It's back," he whispered in a reverential tone, "It's finally back. I can finally catch up on Lost and Doctor Who."

He wheeled around and fixed his gimlet stare on Alex. "Who is this varmint? And how did he happen to be carrying OUR iPad?" he roared.

Lawyer Tom cleared his throat, about to launch into a defense of liberty, justice, and the possible loss of his fees in the event of a lynching. But his peroration was abruptly canceled before it began by a quavery voice at the saloon door: "Don't make me use the big stick you blankety blank whippersnappers!"

The crowd flew back from the wild and willful wavings of a large knobby stick, closely followed by the oldest, meanest-looking, angriest granny the town had ever seen!
"Oh lord," muttered the Judge, it's old grandma from the desert. How in Hades did she hear about this already?"

Alex took one look at the harridan advancing toward him and slumped to the floor. Zelda leaped behind the bar, knocking Doc into his shelf of whiskey bottles.

Grandma stumped forward, bent over the recumbent Alex, and in a hideous parody of a maternal voice crooned "Poor baby. Near parched to death and all they gave you was whiskey. And look - your clothes need a good wash and mend. Son, you need the care of a kindly female to get you back to rights."

And with surprising strength in her wiry frame, she scooped up Alex and slung him over her shoulder, grabbing the iPad with her other hand.

The gray doggie leapt up to snatch the iPad out of her grasp as both the Judge and Sheriff Harry shouted "Oh no you don't."
Grandma wheeled about, leveling her stick at them, and snarled "Yeah? And just who's gonna stop me?"

"I reckon that would be me, ma'am" drawled the deputy everyone had forgotten about. The tiny tuxedo'ed figure ambled forward leveling his umbrella at the dumb-struck grandma.

(To Be Continued - Keep the Popcorn Coming)

astra · 06-26-2010, 10:18 AM

Poor Alex.
You, guys, scared him off. He is afraid to make even one single post nowdays.

WT Sharpe · 06-26-2010, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

HIGH NOON THE DIRECTOR'S CUT

This is funny stuff. Don't stop!

Lawyer Tom Sharpe.

poohbear_nc · 06-26-2010, 10:27 AM

HIGH NOON

THE LEGAL DISCLAIMER

All characters and events are strictly and totally imaginary. They are the products of a fevered and diseased imaginative state caused by living in plus 100 F temperatures.

Any resemblance to any living person or avatar -- even if it's your own name and face -- is strictly coincidental and will be laughed out of court! You're more likely to win an iPad in a contest than ever win libelous or defamatory damages from me!

WT Sharpe · 06-26-2010, 10:31 AM

I would never consider suing someone of such good taste as you!

Javed · 06-26-2010, 10:36 AM

Exciting story. The gray doggie was brave to try to get the iPad out of Grandma's hands.

rebarnmom · 06-26-2010, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

HIGH NOON

THE LEGAL DISCLAIMER

All characters and events are strictly and totally imaginary. They are the products of a fevered and diseased imaginative state caused by living in plus 100 F temperatures.

Any resemblance to any living person or avatar -- even if it's your own name and face -- is strictly coincidental and will be laughed out of court! You're more likely to win an iPad in a contest than ever win libelous or defamatory damages from me!

Thank you! Thank you! I needed a good laugh today! I'm starting to think maybe I need this, more than the iPad. But then I'm getting my needs and wants mix-ed up!

I need a good healthy laugh as often as I can get 'em, but I really just want the iPad. So keep the stories coming, until the winner is announced! Encore! Encore!

vivaldirules · 06-26-2010, 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rebarnmom

Thank you! Thank you! I needed a good laugh today! I'm starting to think maybe I need this, more than the iPad. But then I'm getting my needs and wants mix-ed up!

I need a good healthy laugh as often as I can get 'em, but I really just want the iPad. So keep the stories coming, until the winner is announced! Encore! Encore!

...and beyond!

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06-25-2010, 04:15 PM	#616
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 63,546 Karma: 135239851 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	Gotta go doggie! Next installment later tonight! Keep the home fires burning - and the sauce bubbling!

06-25-2010, 07:45 PM	#619
Javed Grand Sorcerer Posts: 10,270 Karma: 1126878541 Join Date: Oct 2009 Device: Astak Pocket PRO, iPod Touch, PRS-650	Pooh, High Noon is wonderful!! I'm resting under my sombrero until the next installment.

06-25-2010, 09:16 PM	#620
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 63,546 Karma: 135239851 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	The chicken is too pooped to go on tonight - more installments tomorrow!

06-25-2010, 11:43 PM	#622
SneakySnake I'm watching you! Posts: 6,113 Karma: 22344652 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Sunny Coast Qld, OZ Device: Sony PRS-900(unused lately) iPadAir2, want me Kindle Oasis

06-26-2010, 10:14 AM	#623
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 63,546 Karma: 135239851 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	HIGH NOON THE DIRECTOR'S CUT All eyes turned to Judge Nate and the babble hushed to a low rumble. Alex cringed behind Zelda as the mighty waterfowl of justice waddled up to the bar counter. His big eyes nearly popped out of his head! "It's back," he whispered in a reverential tone, "It's finally back. I can finally catch up on Lost and Doctor Who." He wheeled around and fixed his gimlet stare on Alex. "Who is this varmint? And how did he happen to be carrying OUR iPad?" he roared. Lawyer Tom cleared his throat, about to launch into a defense of liberty, justice, and the possible loss of his fees in the event of a lynching. But his peroration was abruptly canceled before it began by a quavery voice at the saloon door: "Don't make me use the big stick you blankety blank whippersnappers!" The crowd flew back from the wild and willful wavings of a large knobby stick, closely followed by the oldest, meanest-looking, angriest granny the town had ever seen! "Oh lord," muttered the Judge, it's old grandma from the desert. How in Hades did she hear about this already?" Alex took one look at the harridan advancing toward him and slumped to the floor. Zelda leaped behind the bar, knocking Doc into his shelf of whiskey bottles. Grandma stumped forward, bent over the recumbent Alex, and in a hideous parody of a maternal voice crooned "Poor baby. Near parched to death and all they gave you was whiskey. And look - your clothes need a good wash and mend. Son, you need the care of a kindly female to get you back to rights." And with surprising strength in her wiry frame, she scooped up Alex and slung him over her shoulder, grabbing the iPad with her other hand. The gray doggie leapt up to snatch the iPad out of her grasp as both the Judge and Sheriff Harry shouted "Oh no you don't." Grandma wheeled about, leveling her stick at them, and snarled "Yeah? And just who's gonna stop me?" "I reckon that would be me, ma'am" drawled the deputy everyone had forgotten about. The tiny tuxedo'ed figure ambled forward leveling his umbrella at the dumb-struck grandma. (To Be Continued - Keep the Popcorn Coming)

06-26-2010, 10:18 AM	#624
astra The Introvert Posts: 8,307 Karma: 1000077497 Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: United Kingdom Device: Sony Reader PRS-650 & 505 & 500	Poor Alex. You, guys, scared him off. He is afraid to make even one single post nowdays.

06-26-2010, 10:27 AM	#626
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 63,546 Karma: 135239851 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	HIGH NOON THE LEGAL DISCLAIMER All characters and events are strictly and totally imaginary. They are the products of a fevered and diseased imaginative state caused by living in plus 100 F temperatures. Any resemblance to any living person or avatar -- even if it's your own name and face -- is strictly coincidental and will be laughed out of court! You're more likely to win an iPad in a contest than ever win libelous or defamatory damages from me!

06-26-2010, 10:31 AM	#627
WT Sharpe Bah, humbug! Posts: 39,072 Karma: 157049943 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Chesapeake, VA, USA Device: Kindle Oasis, iPad Pro, & a Samsung Galaxy S9.	I would never consider suing someone of such good taste as you!

06-26-2010, 10:36 AM	#628
Javed Grand Sorcerer Posts: 10,270 Karma: 1126878541 Join Date: Oct 2009 Device: Astak Pocket PRO, iPod Touch, PRS-650	Exciting story. The gray doggie was brave to try to get the iPad out of Grandma's hands.