Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 90

montsnmags · 06-23-2010, 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Javed

What would Hugo and Lefty do?

Not a darn thing.

Javed · 06-23-2010, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Not a darn thing.

emphasis on darn

kennyc · 06-23-2010, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

Actually I do know but I don't want to get involved. Anything that involves personal preferences is sacred and protected by law. Why fight about it?
I prefer to observe...

See how U R!

rebarnmom · 06-23-2010, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vivaldirules

Two guys walk into a bar, see, and one guy says to the other "What iPad?"

Quote:

Originally Posted by kennyc

I Know but it has nothing to do with Apple or iPads.

This is the vent and rant thread, right?

Anyone know how many threads have been corrupted by this contest?

kennyc · 06-23-2010, 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rebarnmom

Anyone know how many threads have been corrupted by this contest?

Just follow the paw-prints....

rebarnmom · 06-23-2010, 11:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kennyc

Just follow the paw-prints....

yvanleterrible · 06-23-2010, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kennyc

Just follow the paw-prints....

I bet he feels invincible under that umbrella but wait till both DGs start tracking...

vivaldirules · 06-23-2010, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

I bet he feels invincible under that umbrella but wait till both DGs start tracking...

Oh, no! Not both DG's! Wait, suppose I quit now and beg forgiveness (and for some bacon). Would that make it okay?

yvanleterrible · 06-23-2010, 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vivaldirules

Oh, no! Not both DG's! Wait, suppose I quit now and beg forgiveness (and for some bacon). Would that make it okay?

Maybe I you find the iPad real quick they won't start after you...
Go, go, go!...

badgoodDeb · 06-23-2010, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

Maybe I you find the iPad real quick they won't start after you...
Go, go, go!...

I've got one on my counter at home. I do hope that's not the missing one.

No, I'm not going to tell you where "home" is. I want the iPad to still be there when I leave work!

yvanleterrible · 06-23-2010, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

I've got one on my counter at home. I do hope that's not the missing one.

No, I'm not going to tell you where "home" is. I want the iPad to still be there when I leave work!

What! You have an iPad and you didn't write it in your reading device list?

badgoodDeb · 06-23-2010, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

What! You have an iPad and you didn't write it in your reading device list?

Oops! Hadn't thought of it. But I *have* been reading on it, so I'd better go fix that omission!

See -- I even entered my newest toy, iPhone 4. Arrived just this morning. If you pre-ordered it to be shipped to you, they arrived even earlier than the June 24 announced start date. Wheeeee!

vivaldirules · 06-23-2010, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

Oops! Hadn't thought of it. But I *have* been reading on it, so I'd better go fix that omission!

Wow! What an idea! Wait, isn't there someone else around here who should do that, too? (doggie taps paw and scratches behind ear)

Lycoming · 06-23-2010, 03:51 PM

Now concentrate, this is the jokes thread. Did I mention concentrate? That means you at the back as well.

Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge.

They sit themselves at their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over.

He asks Satan to show what he has come up with. Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out."

"Very well, then," says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better."

Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished.

He stutters, "B-b-but how? I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact. How did he do it?"

God smiled all-knowingly, "Jesus saves."

I pulled into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to make sure my golden retriever had fresh air.

She was stretched out on the back seat, and I wanted to impress

upon her that she must remain there.

I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, "Now you stay..... Do you hear me?... Stay!.. Stay!"

The driver of a nearby car, perhaps noting that I am a blonde,gave me a strange look and said."Why don't you just put it in park?"

yvanleterrible · 06-23-2010, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lycoming

Now concentrate, this is the jokes thread. Did I mention concentrate? That means you at the back as well.

"

Yes, miss lycoming, Jesus Saves...
I think I heard that before...

Back to you Deb.... I'm looking forward to iOS4 for iPad.

Quote:

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

Oops! Hadn't thought of it. But I *have* been reading on it, so I'd better go fix that omission!

See -- I even entered my newest toy, iPhone 4. Arrived just this morning. If you pre-ordered it to be shipped to you, they arrived even earlier than the June 24 announced start date. Wheeeee!

Congratulations Deb!

Quote:

Originally Posted by vivaldirules

Wow! What an idea! Wait, isn't there someone else around here who should do that, too? (doggie taps paw and scratches behind ear)

What? You have an iPad too?

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Add from the Mobile Read Library?	danwdoo	Calibre	8	12-03-2014 06:03 PM
Good Day Eh!! :-)	Gedvondur	Introduce Yourself	12	07-22-2010 12:16 AM
Classic Is there a way to lighten the background?	rlsamson	Barnes & Noble NOOK	3	06-30-2010 04:56 PM
Read-in-Microsoft-Reader 1.1.3 add-in released	Alexander Turcic	Reading and Management	2	02-20-2006 03:47 AM

06-23-2010, 03:51 PM	#1349
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	Now concentrate, this is the jokes thread. Did I mention concentrate? That means you at the back as well. Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge. They sit themselves at their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show what he has come up with. Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out." "Very well, then," says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better." Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished. He stutters, "B-b-but how? I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact. How did he do it?" God smiled all-knowingly, "Jesus saves." I pulled into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to make sure my golden retriever had fresh air. She was stretched out on the back seat, and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, "Now you stay..... Do you hear me?... Stay!.. Stay!" The driver of a nearby car, perhaps noting that I am a blonde,gave me a strange look and said."Why don't you just put it in park?"