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Old 05-19-2010, 06:10 PM   #616
kennyc
The Dank Side of the Moon
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Originally Posted by GeoffC View Post
I shall provide a title in due course, or at least provide my take on the meaning.

I particularly like the numerous 'takes' that have been suggested , It shows me that I am doing what I aim to, and that is invoke the readers' emotions (rightly or wrongly) ...

Also shows, I think, the power that a title has on a poem ....
For me at least, the title is often the most crucial part of a poem.

Last edited by kennyc; 05-19-2010 at 08:46 PM.
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Old 05-19-2010, 06:51 PM   #617
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The 3 verse poem (the earlier one) brings to my mind thoughts of glacier(s).
Ah the artist eye. Chapeu.

It makes sense. It gives it sense. When I read it withou knowing anything I set it in a courtyard. Of course I am not a poet.
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Old 05-19-2010, 08:49 PM   #618
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Brilliant in full sight
of shocking moon;
cold and white
as like full noon;
reflects its light
both day and night.

Hardened by age
worn down it breaks;
no longer locked in cage
nor sired; it snakes
across the open stage
older than the wisest sage.

In time will cease to grow
nor light reflect;
nor to flow
no longer checked;
no more ice nor snow
no longer slow.


Nice work Goeff...this immediately made me think of The Moody Blues
and their Days Of Future Passed ( http://www.bobspixels.com/kaibab.org/moodies/mxdays.htm ):

The Day Begins

Cold hearted orb that rules the night,
Removes the colours from our sight,
Red is gray and yellow white,
But we decide which is right.
And which is an illusion?
Pinprick holes in a colourless sky,
Let insipid figures of light pass by,
The mighty light of ten thousand suns,
Challenges infinity and is soon gone.
Night time, to some a brief interlude,
To others the fear of solitude.
Brave Helios wake up your steads,
Bring the warmth the countryside needs.
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Old 05-20-2010, 03:30 AM   #619
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Quote:
Originally Posted by badgoodDeb View Post
The 3 verse poem (the earlier one) brings to my mind thoughts of glacier(s).
Quote:
Originally Posted by WT Sharpe View Post
I can see that.
And now I am able to give it its name ...

The Glacier

But as with all my chitterings, it's whatever you want it to mean ....

Quote:
Originally Posted by kennyc View Post
For me at least, the title is often the most crucial part of a poem.
As I seem to have shown by this example ....

Quote:
Originally Posted by beppe View Post
Ah the artist eye. Chapeu.

It makes sense. It gives it sense. When I read it withou knowing anything I set it in a courtyard. Of course I am not a poet.
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Old 05-20-2010, 03:37 AM   #620
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kennyc View Post
Nice work Goeff...this immediately made me think of The Moody Blues
and their Days Of Future Passed ( http://www.bobspixels.com/kaibab.org/moodies/mxdays.htm ):

The Day Begins

Cold hearted orb that rules the night,
Removes the colours from our sight,
Red is gray and yellow white,
But we decide which is right.
And which is an illusion?

....and therein lies the secret of the first two lines of my poem...

The Moody Blues and this song/poem The Day Begins, written by Graeme Edge have provided oodles of inspiration for decades.


Cold hearted orb that rules the night,
Removes the colours from our sight,


provided the inspiration of my version, starting with


Brilliant in full sight
of shocking moon;


However, what happened from then on is something I cannot describe, but the process over 5-6 months gradually developed, in fits and starts into something that miraculously described The Glacier....


So whilst the Glacier took months, the 'matrix' poem was "only" a couple of hours ....


Thank you Kenny
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Old 05-20-2010, 04:08 AM   #621
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Lessons

the lessons this day
are lifted from our past
the lessons for today
are seeded in the past
yesterdays' deeds
never forget
live on in the mind
live on in the soul
live on in the essence of the wind.

© 20 May 2010
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Old 05-20-2010, 04:13 AM   #622
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GeoffC View Post
....and therein lies the secret of the first two lines of my poem...

The Moody Blues and this song/poem The Day Begins, written by Graeme Edge have provided oodles of inspiration for decades.


Cold hearted orb that rules the night,
Removes the colours from our sight,


provided the inspiration of my version, starting with


Brilliant in full sight
of shocking moon;


However, what happened from then on is something I cannot describe, but the process over 5-6 months gradually developed, in fits and starts into something that miraculously described The Glacier....


So whilst the Glacier took months, the 'matrix' poem was "only" a couple of hours ....


Thank you Kenny
Wait.... What? Not the sun, the moon, and the Earth? I was sooooo totally off.

Of course, now that you named it, it fits, and I can remember what the mighty Glaciers of Alaska looked like.
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Old 05-20-2010, 04:42 AM   #623
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we dread the day that brings
us hope for life, a-new;
the knowledge that one must die;-
tempers the flower
we hope,
will bloom.


© 20 May 2010
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Old 05-20-2010, 06:05 AM   #624
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GeoffC View Post
Lessons

the lessons this day
are lifted from our past
the lessons for today
are seeded in the past
yesterdays' deeds
never forget
live on in the mind
live on in the soul
live on in the essence of the wind.

© 20 May 2010
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Old 05-20-2010, 07:31 AM   #625
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And now I am able to give it its name ...

The Glacier

But as with all my chitterings, it's whatever you want it to mean ....



As I seem to have shown by this example ....



I am surprised no one else saw it as a near earth comet, but glacier does seem more fitting.
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Old 05-20-2010, 07:41 AM   #626
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I am surprised no one else saw it as a near earth comet, but glacier does seem more fitting.

Now you mention it .....
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Old 05-20-2010, 09:24 AM   #627
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Now you mention it .....
Like the "fiery" comet of 1014!
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Old 05-20-2010, 09:28 AM   #628
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Like the "fiery" comet of 1014!

Oh ! missed that one .... thought there was one in 1066....Halleys ....

Heralded the arrival of the French ....
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Old 05-20-2010, 09:49 AM   #629
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Oh ! missed that one .... thought there was one in 1066....Halleys ....

Heralded the arrival of the French ....
The "Fiery" near-earth comet of 1014 was blamed on the Jews. Apocalyptic end-of the world fever was still running high. Lots of folks had believed Christ was to return at the turn of the millennium, and 14 years later, those hopes were still running high.

"With the accession of the kings of Gaul, things changed. The Jews were no longer 'citizens.' During the sinister apocalyptic mood that prevailed around the year 1000—further inflamed by the appearance of a fiery comet in 1014 and the solar eclipse in 1033—they were unprotected. They were not even tolerated. They were singled out, here and there, and accused of causing the scourges that befell superstitious inhabitants."
-- Rashi by Elie Wiesel, Translated by Catherine Temerson, chapter 1.

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Old 05-20-2010, 11:19 AM   #630
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A Matrix form .... as before, to be read down and / or across ...

[Maybe one for Pshrynk to analyse ..... ]



copyright 20 May 2010
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