Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 73

WT Sharpe · 04-22-2010, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lycoming

[BIG ASS IMG]

If I lived next door, my sign would read "Gang Members: Please do NOT steal my neighbors' extensive arms collection while they are sleeping or at work to equip your gang. It just wouldn't be right."
.

CyGuy · 04-23-2010, 08:46 AM

Joe wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party.

He didn't even remember how he got home from the party.

As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Joe had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Joe sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick.

'Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight.
I love you, Darling! Love, Jillian'

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper.

His son is also at the table, eating. Joe asks:

'Son... what happened last night?' 'Well, you came home after 3 A.M drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.' Confused, he asked his son, 'So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?'

His son replies, 'Oh THAT!...

Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone bitch, I'm married!'

Broken Coffee Table $239.99

Hot Breakfast $4.20

Two Aspirin s $..38

Saying the right thing, at the right time......priceless!!

Lycoming · 04-23-2010, 09:26 AM

So that's why she left me to sleep in last week. Now I understand.

yvanleterrible · 04-23-2010, 12:38 PM

Hey, that could have been me! Well almost, I don't use the "b" word.

Over · 04-23-2010, 01:30 PM

Nate the great · 04-23-2010, 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Over

images

yvanleterrible · 04-23-2010, 01:36 PM

Who needs flash anyway when there's Superman?

kennyc · 04-23-2010, 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

Who needs flash anyway when there's Superman?

Wait, isn't that Job's line???

wodin · 04-23-2010, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kennyc

Wait, isn't that Job's line???

Would that be "Job's" (the guy with the whale) or "Jobs'" (the guy with the turtleneck?

kennyc · 04-23-2010, 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wodin

Would that be "Job's" (the guy with the whale) or "Jobs'" (the guy with the turtleneck?

The one with the "pre-owned" liver.

yvanleterrible · 04-23-2010, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kennyc

Wait, isn't that Job's line???

Any Fanboy's line!

Quote:

Originally Posted by wodin

Would that be "Job's" (the guy with the whale) or "Jobs'" (the guy with the turtleneck?

The guy that's too skinny for his clothing...

Lady Blue · 04-23-2010, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

The guy that's too skinny for his clothing...

I wish I had that problem.

WT Sharpe · 04-23-2010, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wodin

Would that be "Job's" (the guy with the whale) or "Jobs'" (the guy with the turtleneck?

*ahem* uh, I believe you're thinking of Jonah.

Job was the guy with with all the bad luck!

kennyc · 04-23-2010, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

*ahem* uh, I believe you're thinking of Jonah.

Job was the guy with with all the bad luck!

Yeah, the salt-pillar-wife guy

yvanleterrible · 04-23-2010, 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kennyc

Yeah, the salt-pillar-wife guy

Well, at least she always stood behind him...

04-23-2010, 01:30 PM	#1085
Over Wizard Posts: 1,462 Karma: 6061516 Join Date: May 2008 Location: Cascais, Portugal Device: Kindle PW, Samsung Galaxy Note Pro 12.2", OnePlus 6	Last edited by Over; 04-23-2010 at 01:32 PM.

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04-23-2010, 08:46 AM	#1082
CyGuy Avid Reader Posts: 769 Karma: 7777778 Join Date: Aug 2009 Device: PocketBook 902, Galaxy Tab 2 7.0, ASUS TF700, and Cybook Gen III	Joe wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Joe had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Joe sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick. 'Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, Darling! Love, Jillian' He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Joe asks: 'Son... what happened last night?' 'Well, you came home after 3 A.M drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.' Confused, he asked his son, 'So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?' His son replies, 'Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone bitch, I'm married!' Broken Coffee Table $239.99 Hot Breakfast $4.20 Two Aspirin s $..38 Saying the right thing, at the right time......priceless!!

04-23-2010, 09:26 AM	#1083
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	So that's why she left me to sleep in last week. Now I understand.

04-23-2010, 12:38 PM	#1084
yvanleterrible Reborn Paper User Posts: 8,616 Karma: 15446734 Join Date: May 2006 Location: Que Nada Device: iPhone8, iPad Air	Hey, that could have been me! Well almost, I don't use the "b" word.

04-23-2010, 01:36 PM	#1087
yvanleterrible Reborn Paper User Posts: 8,616 Karma: 15446734 Join Date: May 2006 Location: Que Nada Device: iPhone8, iPad Air	Who needs flash anyway when there's Superman?