Unutterably Silly Convenient Lies

[poohbear_nc]

Vat's vrrong wif all dese peoples? This place reeks like an Italian restaurant kitchen! All this garlic? Vor what?

Hmmmm.... Evil plan#2 - I vill secretly replace all of Am's garlic vith vhiskey. No one will ever notice! By nightfall they will all be nicely marinated for my dinner! Drink hearty my meals! Errr... I mean, my friends! All are invited to dinner tonight at my place! Drinks on the house! And in the cellars! And in the dark place under the stairway!

[kindlekitten]

hmmm sauteed garlic and whiskey marinated chicken for dinner....

[poohbear_nc]

KK - have you noticed the length of Strider's fangs lately? And his thirst for red fluids? Hehehehehehe ..... muahahahahahahah - I haff recruited your little pet into my dark army!!!

[kindlekitten]

that is his doppel!

[dsvick]

Originally Posted by ShortNCuddlyAm

*sploosh*

Half a bottle enough?

aayyyiiieeee my eyes....... it got in my ayyyyyeeeesss

But hey, I feel much better now, wow I thought garlic just kept them away not removed the effects

unless .... [checks neck] heeyyy wait just a minute now, my necks not even bitten, it's just this metallic tubey thing stuck in it here
[yank]
ouch, crap that hurt....
hmmm, what are these words on it .....

Manufactured by chicken borg cube number 31J-A-92L. Some parts and promotional considerations provided by cubes 56I, 27Q, and 39 through eleventy X.

Intended for use on unassimilated beings only,no more than two doses per light year.

May cause swelling, light headedness, lose of life, delusions of vampirism, death, dry mouth, gas, and/or sudden decreases in blood pressure.

He's not a vampire, ohh god, it's worse.... he's a borg. I need a shiney, droppy, explodey thing!!!

[poohbear_nc]

Put that tube back immediately - or, or, or, or ALL of your internal red stuff vill fall out before I get there! At least stand over tub!!

[Damn, I vorgot to activate the locking mechanism on my veeding tube!]
[Back to the dark cube to get another tube the little vellow won't be able to remove! And for some garlic-repellant.]
[And an extra-large catnip mousie.]

[badgoodDeb]

[Yawns .... waking up from long nap ...]
Anybody remember the correct incantation to UN vampirize that cute little chicken? (S)he's too cute to get rid of, but this making-holes in everybody's neck has got to stop!
[ swats chicken away from my own neck ]

[pshrynk]

Yes. We all stand around him and yell:

STOP IT!

Then we charge him $300.

[dsvick]

Originally Posted by pshrynk

Then we charge him $300.

Which he pays to the laddie at the door.

[badgoodDeb]

Who uses it to refill the liquor cabinet at the bar.

[badgoodDeb]

Do we need to add one of those sun-lamps to Chicken Little's bedroom, to keep the vampire virus away? Or hold him down in the real sunlight, for a while, whilst we do the above chant?

[dsvick]

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

[Yawns .... waking up from long nap ...]
Anybody remember the correct incantation to UN vampirize that cute little chicken? (S)he's too cute to get rid of, but this making-holes in everybody's neck has got to stop!
[ swats chicken away from my own neck ]

[dave] You're on to something there Deb.
[deb] I know, it's this couch, which conveniently landed right side up in the crash.
[dave]No, no I mean with the incantation thing.
[deb] right, I knew that
[kk] I'd still rather sautee him, Am...?
[Am] Yep, got a new bottle right here, it's got some real zing to it this time
[dave] *rubbing eye* like it didn't have any before!?
*KK and Am begin looking through rubble for a large enough frying pan*

[dave] No seriously, the captain on a ship can marry people right?
[geoff] well sure, but usually just one at a time and only if he really likes them.
[dave] no I meant, that he can -
[pshrynk] Actually, that would only apply to certain polygamist sects that still practice ----

[dave] Stop!! That's not what I meant. I mean he can perform marriages, can't he?
[all] duh?
[dave] umm, right. So that make him like a priest right? Right! And priest hang out in churches and pray and stuff, right? Right! And a priest can do one of those exorcise things to get rid of evil spirits, right? Right!
[Am aside to KK]What's he need us for if he's jsut going to go on agreeing with himself?
[kk] just let him go, he'll wind down eventually. If not, you can always smack him again or throw more sauce on him...
[Am] hmm, good point...
[dave] so if the captain is like a priest and a priest is what we need to get rid of the evil in the chicken borg vampire thing.

[poohbear/chicken-borg/vampire] I can see vere theees is go-ink
[dave] then why dont we just find an otter that used to belong to a priest.
[geoff to poohbear/chicken-borg/vampire] errr, you saw that coming?
[poohbear/chicken-borg/vampire] vell, no not so much
[pshrynk to Am] Just how hard did you hit him?
[dave] I think I'm going to go lay down now...
[deb] not on this couch you're not

[poohbear_nc]

Hmmm... my little pale dave - now that Am has hit you again I can re-insert zis widdle tube-thing into your neck - ach - the red stufff ffflowsss again. Just like a body-temp slurpee.

Vy don't the rest of you volk just continue throwing sauce on one another - so you'll be vell marinated by the midnight BBQ? dave & I vill be having a wee nip ....
muahahahahahahahahaha.

[pshrynk]

Is anyone else disturbed by the fact that Poohbear is just a weensie bit evile (borg assimilation, now vampire chickens)?

[kindlekitten]

Originally Posted by pshrynk

Is anyone else disturbed by the fact that Poohbear is just a weensie bit evile (borg assimilation, now vampire chickens)?

I think he'll do just fine on skewers don't you?