Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 69

kennyc · 04-03-2010, 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pilotbob

I guess you guys did't realize I was posting a joke.

Guess it wasn't funny.

BOb

Gotcha!

Lycoming · 04-03-2010, 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

Aaaaahhh! My sides hurt. I just spent the last ten minutes laughing!
Where do you guys get these jokes?
Whew!

Oh it's a very strange place. Inhabited by strange, dark forces. You don't really want to go there, look what it has done to me......

I can still get around though.

kennyc · 04-03-2010, 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lycoming

Oh it's a very strange place. Inhabited by strange, dark forces. You don't really want to go there, look what it has done to me......

I can still get around though.

May the Fierce be with you.

wodin · 04-04-2010, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kennyc

WOW! and silly me, I laughed both times!

I laughed four times!

wodin · 04-04-2010, 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kennyc

Sorry Bob, I never remember jokes, you'll all just have to deal with it.

Yup, I have CRS too.

Spoiler:

Very convenient for watching old movies.

Rich_D · 04-04-2010, 11:05 PM

A guy goes golfing with his buddy and tells his wife he'll be back for lunch. He misses lunch, then dinner. The wife is frantic but he finally gets home around 10:00 pm, looking tired and haggard. She rushes out to him and asks if he is o.k.

"I've had the worst day imaginable. Tom had a heart attack and died on the 3rd green!"

"Oh my how awful!"

"I'll say. The rest of the day it was hit the ball, drag Tom, hit the ball, drag Tom..."

Format C: · 04-06-2010, 06:10 AM

Do you know the difference between a chamberpot and a saucepan?

Spoiler:

roger the rabbit · 04-06-2010, 06:24 AM

Hospitality (overheard in a bar somewhere)

"As good as this bar is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs
back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The
landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks,
he'll buy the fifth drink."

"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "at my local in London , the Red
Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first
two."

"Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said the Irishman, "back home in my fav’rite
pub, the moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink,
then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you've had
enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see dat you gets laid, all
on the house!"

The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of the claims. The Irishman
swore every word was true.

"Did this actually happen to you?"

"Not meself, personally, no," admitted the Irishman, "but it did happen
to me sister quite a few times."

Nate the great · 04-06-2010, 06:58 AM

She has a wonderful sense of the absurd:
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co...=Google+Reader

yvanleterrible · 04-06-2010, 08:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nate the great

She has a wonderful sense of the absurd:
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co...=Google+Reader

Hmmmm.... And this is how kids learn about reality these days, right?

Lycoming · 04-06-2010, 03:04 PM

Reality.

Isn't that for people who can't handle drugs?

Over · 04-06-2010, 05:04 PM

Jaime_Astorga · 04-06-2010, 05:10 PM

Haha, that's pretty funny! Say, speaking of Putin, how's this for a joke joke?

Stalin's ghost appears to Putin in a dream, and Putin asks for his help running the country. Stalin says, "Round up and shoot all the democrats, and then paint the inside of the Kremlin blue." "Why blue?" Putin asks. "Ha!" says Stalin. "I knew you wouldn't ask me about the first part."

pilotbob · 04-06-2010, 05:13 PM

We all know those cute little computer symbols called 'emoticons,' where:

Code:

:) means a smile and 

:( is a frown. 

Sometimes these are represented by 

:-) 

:-(

Well, how about some 'ASSICONS?'
Here goes:

(_!_) a regular ass

(__!__) a fat ass

(!) a tight ass

(_*_) an ass hole

{_!_} a swishy ass

(_o_) an ass that's been around
(_x_) kiss my ass

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

(_$_) Money coming out of his ass

(_?_) Dumb Ass

You have just been e-mooned!

roger the rabbit · 04-07-2010, 03:38 AM

04-06-2010, 06:10 AM	#1027
Format C: Guru Posts: 753 Karma: 1496807 Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: The Third World Device: iLiad + PRS-505 + Kindle 3	Do you know the difference between a chamberpot and a saucepan? Spoiler: No? Please, remind me never to accept a dinner invitation from you...

04-06-2010, 05:13 PM	#1034
pilotbob Grand Sorcerer Posts: 19,832 Karma: 11844413 Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Tampa, FL USA Device: Kindle Touch	We all know those cute little computer symbols called 'emoticons,' where: Code: :) means a smile and :( is a frown. Sometimes these are represented by :-) :-( Well, how about some 'ASSICONS?' Here goes: (_!_) a regular ass (__!__) a fat ass (!) a tight ass (_*_) an ass hole {_!_} a swishy ass (_o_) an ass that's been around (_x_) kiss my ass (_X_) leave my ass alone (_zzz_) a tired ass (_E=mc2_) a smart ass (_$_) Money coming out of his ass (_?_) Dumb Ass You have just been e-mooned!

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04-04-2010, 11:05 PM	#1026
Rich_D Fanatic Posts: 581 Karma: 1314896 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Pittsburgh, PA USA Device: Android phone, Kobo Glo HD, nook ST with Glo (backup)	A guy goes golfing with his buddy and tells his wife he'll be back for lunch. He misses lunch, then dinner. The wife is frantic but he finally gets home around 10:00 pm, looking tired and haggard. She rushes out to him and asks if he is o.k. "I've had the worst day imaginable. Tom had a heart attack and died on the 3rd green!" "Oh my how awful!" "I'll say. The rest of the day it was hit the ball, drag Tom, hit the ball, drag Tom..."

04-06-2010, 06:24 AM	#1028
roger the rabbit Addict Posts: 316 Karma: 10215 Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Wherever I lay my hat! Device: Sony PRS-T3, 650 Black, 505, Kobo Glo HD Aura ONE	Hospitality (overheard in a bar somewhere) "As good as this bar is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink." "Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "at my local in London , the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two." "Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said the Irishman, "back home in my fav’rite pub, the moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see dat you gets laid, all on the house!" The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of the claims. The Irishman swore every word was true. "Did this actually happen to you?" "Not meself, personally, no," admitted the Irishman, "but it did happen to me sister quite a few times."

04-06-2010, 06:58 AM	#1029
Nate the great Sir Penguin of Edinburgh Posts: 12,375 Karma: 23555235 Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: DC Metro area Device: Shake a stick plus 1	She has a wonderful sense of the absurd: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co...=Google+Reader

04-06-2010, 03:04 PM	#1031
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	Reality. Isn't that for people who can't handle drugs?

04-06-2010, 05:04 PM	#1032
Over Wizard Posts: 1,462 Karma: 6061516 Join Date: May 2008 Location: Cascais, Portugal Device: Kindle PW, Samsung Galaxy Note Pro 12.2", OnePlus 6

04-06-2010, 05:10 PM	#1033
Jaime_Astorga Member Retired Posts: 274 Karma: 4446 Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Florida Device: PRS-350-SC: Sony Reader Pocket Edition	Haha, that's pretty funny! Say, speaking of Putin, how's this for a joke joke? Stalin's ghost appears to Putin in a dream, and Putin asks for his help running the country. Stalin says, "Round up and shoot all the democrats, and then paint the inside of the Kremlin blue." "Why blue?" Putin asks. "Ha!" says Stalin. "I knew you wouldn't ask me about the first part."

04-07-2010, 03:38 AM	#1035
roger the rabbit Addict Posts: 316 Karma: 10215 Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Wherever I lay my hat! Device: Sony PRS-T3, 650 Black, 505, Kobo Glo HD Aura ONE