Silliness Convenient Lies - Page 15

Wetdogeared · 03-26-2010, 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeoffC

where is it we're going .... again ?

I vote for Cancun. Didn't we bring DGma? We could have had a poll!

pshrynk · 03-26-2010, 09:18 AM

We are the Chick'n'borg, resistance is futile. You will be assimilated. And deep fried to a crackly crunch, coated with our secret recipe of eleventy Herbs and species.

dsvick · 03-26-2010, 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pshrynk

We are the Chick'n'borg, resistance is futile. You will be assimilated. And deep fried to a crackly crunch, coated with our secret recipe of eleventy Herbs and species.

Is this assimilation from the inside out? Hey Geoff, is there any sweet and sour sauce? Maybe some black bean sauce and some broccoli we could steam?

poohbear_nc · 03-26-2010, 09:46 AM

I'm bringing the BBQ forks!

GeoffC · 03-26-2010, 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dsvick

Is this assimilation from the inside out? Hey Geoff, is there any sweet and sour sauce? Maybe some black bean sauce and some broccoli we could steam?

no, from the outside in .....

shrugs ....

sweet & sour sauce .... ppfffttt !!! what d'ya think I am - a miracle worker?

rumble rumble rustle rustle .... there we go, sweet and sour sauce, excuse the (coughs) and the (splutters), not forgetting the (sneezes)..... Is that all ?

The broccoli ?! that was last seen blasting its way across the ocean towards the eastern horizon,,,,,,,......

Quote:

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

I'm bringing the BBQ forks!

BBQ !

dsvick · 03-27-2010, 10:12 AM

Awesome, thanks Geoff.

OK poohbear, grab the forks I'll meet you at the aft end, topside, open-air lounge. I'll bring a rope, I think if we tie it to your belt I can lower you just enough that you could use the flame from the engine to BBQ the chicken. Then I haul you back up, dip it in sauce and we're all set!!

mvisconte · 03-27-2010, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dsvick

...I'll just keep polishing the shiny, droppy, explody things and wait for the chance to use them.

Based on the early returns, I think you'll get plenty of chance for those in the near past future... near future, past? Anyway, we may single handedly (erm, multi-single-handedly) be responsible for the downfall of the whole of the South American Nazi War Machine -- or at least one of their war machines. Maybe it's a precursor to the Pinto.

Quote:

Originally Posted by dsvick

Depending on which cup conversation this may be a serious mistake given the temperament and unarmed combat skill level of some of the people aboard.

My pint, exactly. (actually, I think that was a misprint, but I'm willing to let is stay... my POINT, exactly).
"If the cup belongs to someone else, they will probably let you know. "

mvisconte · 03-27-2010, 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeoffC

where is it we're going .... again ?

Well, I don't see any hand-baskets, so Hell is probably out of the question (although that DOES give me an idea for a future adventure if anybody signs on again...)

Sud America by way of Sud of the Mason-Dixon Line (Jean Dixon, if anyone asks).

mvisconte · 03-27-2010, 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wetdogeared

I vote for Cancun. Didn't we bring DGma? We could have had a poll!

Poll... is that Latin for Chckn?

How many people are ON this thing? I think we're only clear for 400 or so... if we're not careful, we'll be over limit and in jeopardy of a sanction from the A.B.C. for potential safety violations!

Of course, ignoring the fact that the craft is stolen, the only thing the "captain" has ever flown before is "the coop", we're being pursued by Borg-Warmer, and, we're transforming under-age gulls across staid lions for immortal porpoises... (betcha didn't know about THAT one, didja?)

happy_terd · 03-27-2010, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

I'm bringing the BBQ forks!

Today is a great day to burn some meat!!!

ShortNCuddlyAm · 03-27-2010, 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mvisconte

Of course, ignoring the fact that the craft is stolen, the only thing the "captain" has ever flown before is "the coop", we're being pursued by Borg-Warmer, and, we're transforming under-age gulls across staid lions for immortal porpoises... (betcha didn't know about THAT one, didja?)

*llooks up, paintbrushes with different coloured paints on each in hand*

STAID??? I thought you said PLAID! I've got all these scratches for nothing, now

mvisconte · 03-27-2010, 07:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pshrynk

We are the Chick'n'borg, resistance is futile. You will be assimilated. And deep fried to a crackly crunch, coated with our secret recipe of eleventy Herbs and species.

But resistance is what we humans do best. We resist oppression. We resist assimilation. We resist electricity. Sometimes we resist temptation. It's what we do.

...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ge-off-with-a-C

... sweet & sour sauce .... ppfffttt !!! what d'ya think I am - a miracle worker?

I quite distinctly remember you listing "Miracle Worker" on your CV. As opposed to my CV, which lists "Miracle Whip" under "Favorite Condiments".

Quote:

Originally Posted by dsvick

OK poohbear, grab the forks I'll meet you at the aft end, topside, open-air lounge. I'll bring a rope, I think if we tie it to your belt I can lower you just enough that you could use the flame from the engine to BBQ the chicken. Then I haul you back up, dip it in sauce and we're all set!!

I love it when a plan comes together! OK, everybody! Everyone who's a carnivore, who likes chicken, and who hates uSoft, it's an IT demonstration on the aft Lido deck. Dining and dancing will commence after reprogramming the BORG with Linux... after which, it will be useful, stable, and attractive.

mvisconte · 03-27-2010, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShortNCuddlyAm

*llooks up, paintbrushes with different coloured paints on each in hand*

STAID??? I thought you said PLAID! I've got all these scratches for nothing, now

Cuddly, you're covered...

**Correction: Trans-furring yonder sage pullets lacrosse plaid lines for turtle poises...

Improvise, Adapt, Overcome...

mvisconte · 03-27-2010, 09:59 PM

So there we were, drifting over the eastern coast of North America... there was a slight ... "unfortunate event" involving a borged-up chicken, some heavy-duty steel cable, plasma jets, and, well, the eastern tie-in to the entire power-grid for America. We were SO CLOSE. Actually, we were TOO close... a sudden headwind, a nose-dip (er, a dip of the nose of the craft), a slight depression in the autopilot's computer system (name's Marvin), and stall, a hick-up in the storage tanks, a slight venting of slightly hyperactive isotropic, neolithic Flabber gas from the starboard tanks, and then a slow, steady descent... almost like sliding down a banister, if your banister ended at 20 Jiggavolts and you were trolling for Borg at the time.

The horizon went... well, dark.

Officially, it wasn't our "fault". Well, ok, it WAS our fault, but it wasn't our responsibility. Ok, again, we WERE "responsible", but who would in their right mind would give booze and car keys to adolescent boys? Or, who would leave a state-of-the-art, neo-retro-futuristic-pre-postmodern dirigible relatively unguarded in this day and age? Or, actually, under-guarded, by easily-distracted and somewhat dim rent-a-guards? And actually, to be truthful, it WAS night... not "this DAY and age..."

So, really, it WASN'T my fault! They should have stepped up their security, and this whole East Coast - West Coast "power outage" thing wouldn't have happened.

But, the national news services were on it (and luckily, using Windows for their main OS and security). A bit here, a byte there, a slightly deleted story, and a fake by-line, and so *OFFICIALLY*, what was experienced was (wait for it)...

EARTH DAY -- TURN ALL OF YOUR ELECTRIC APPLIANCES OFF FOR ONE HOUR THIS EARTH DAY!

And, co-incidentally, sorry about the chicken in the high-tension power lines... we can send you a largish vat of wing sauce, and our earliest convenience.

(which will probably be "never").

HAL, get us out of here.

I can't DO that Dave.

WHY NOT!???

First, my name is Marvin. Second, I don't know whether that would be advisable for me to do. Your voice pattern matches an internationally-known, wanted-in-several-countries crim---

Son-ov-a...! How about that. The power outage affected us here INSIDE the ship TOO!? Whadya know about that.

ALL HANDS! BRACE FOR IMPACT!!!

(note to self: if we survive, remember reboot the flight computer from a Linux CD, reload the autopilot, and reformat the ship's log. Just in case.)

GeoffC · 03-29-2010, 06:35 AM

IMPACT !

03-27-2010, 09:59 PM	#224
mvisconte pHilosopher kIng Posts: 208 Karma: 429751 Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: An imperfect world Device: Laptop, laptop, desktop, phone (HTC, HTC, Asus, Asus, LG rah!)	So there we were, drifting over the eastern coast of North America... there was a slight ... "unfortunate event" involving a borged-up chicken, some heavy-duty steel cable, plasma jets, and, well, the eastern tie-in to the entire power-grid for America. We were SO CLOSE. Actually, we were TOO close... a sudden headwind, a nose-dip (er, a dip of the nose of the craft), a slight depression in the autopilot's computer system (name's Marvin), and stall, a hick-up in the storage tanks, a slight venting of slightly hyperactive isotropic, neolithic Flabber gas from the starboard tanks, and then a slow, steady descent... almost like sliding down a banister, if your banister ended at 20 Jiggavolts and you were trolling for Borg at the time. The horizon went... well, dark. Officially, it wasn't our "fault". Well, ok, it WAS our fault, but it wasn't our responsibility. Ok, again, we WERE "responsible", but who would in their right mind would give booze and car keys to adolescent boys? Or, who would leave a state-of-the-art, neo-retro-futuristic-pre-postmodern dirigible relatively unguarded in this day and age? Or, actually, under-guarded, by easily-distracted and somewhat dim rent-a-guards? And actually, to be truthful, it WAS night... not "this DAY and age..." So, really, it WASN'T my fault! They should have stepped up their security, and this whole East Coast - West Coast "power outage" thing wouldn't have happened. But, the national news services were on it (and luckily, using Windows for their main OS and security). A bit here, a byte there, a slightly deleted story, and a fake by-line, and so OFFICIALLY, what was experienced was (wait for it)... EARTH DAY -- TURN ALL OF YOUR ELECTRIC APPLIANCES OFF FOR ONE HOUR THIS EARTH DAY! And, co-incidentally, sorry about the chicken in the high-tension power lines... we can send you a largish vat of wing sauce, and our earliest convenience. (which will probably be "never"). HAL, get us out of here. I can't DO that Dave. WHY NOT!??? First, my name is Marvin. Second, I don't know whether that would be advisable for me to do. Your voice pattern matches an internationally-known, wanted-in-several-countries crim--- Son-ov-a...! How about that. The power outage affected us here INSIDE the ship TOO!? Whadya know about that. ALL HANDS! BRACE FOR IMPACT!!! (note to self: if we survive, remember reboot the flight computer from a Linux CD, reload the autopilot, and reformat the ship's log. Just in case.) Last edited by mvisconte; 03-28-2010 at 02:40 PM. Reason: Sackafrackabarfursnarkingdadblamedastard! Stupid computer!

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Which reader has the most convenient dictionary access?	cryohead	Which one should I buy?	11	03-27-2010 03:49 PM
Free Book - The Twelve Lies of Christmas	koland	Deals and Resources (No Self-Promotion or Affiliate Links)	0	11-23-2009 08:54 AM
$0.62 for Kindle: Body of Lies, A Novel by David Ignatius	Xia	Deals and Resources (No Self-Promotion or Affiliate Links)	0	10-24-2009 03:11 PM
Convenient non-english dictionary	Woofer	Which one should I buy?	2	06-20-2008 09:56 AM
Danger lies ahead from mobile hackers	Colin Dunstan	Lounge	3	04-28-2005 10:43 AM

03-26-2010, 09:18 AM	#212
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	We are the Chick'n'borg, resistance is futile. You will be assimilated. And deep fried to a crackly crunch, coated with our secret recipe of eleventy Herbs and species.

03-26-2010, 09:46 AM	#214
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 63,436 Karma: 135239851 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	I'm bringing the BBQ forks!

03-27-2010, 10:12 AM	#216
dsvick Wizard Posts: 2,737 Karma: 635747 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Northeast Ohio, USA Device: PRS-900	Awesome, thanks Geoff. OK poohbear, grab the forks I'll meet you at the aft end, topside, open-air lounge. I'll bring a rope, I think if we tie it to your belt I can lower you just enough that you could use the flame from the engine to BBQ the chicken. Then I haul you back up, dip it in sauce and we're all set!!

03-29-2010, 06:35 AM	#225
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	IMPACT !