Unutterably Silly What to do with my Right Hand ???

[LCF]

Well, since you obviously won't get a photo - here is a full list of the possible snakes. I've highlighted the prime suspects.

The Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations (AO)

1. Infantry: Snake smells them, leaves area.

2. Airborne: Lands on and kills the snake.

3. Armor: Runs over snake, laughs, and looks for more snakes.

4. Aviation: Has Global Positioning Satellite coordinates to snake. Can't find snake. Returns to base for refuel, crew rest and manicure.

5. Ranger: Plays with snake, then eats it.

6. Field Artillery: Kills snake with massive Time On Target barrage with three Forward Artillery Brigades in support. Kills several hundred civilians as unavoidable collateral damage. Mission is considered a success and all participants (i.e., cooks, mechanics and clerks) are awarded Silver Stars.

7. Special Forces: Makes contact with snake, ignores all State Department directives and Theater Commander Rules of Engagement by building rapport with snake and winning its heart and mind. Trains it to kill other snakes. Files enormous travel settlement upon return.

8. Combat Engineer: Studies snake. Prepares in-depth doctrinal thesis in obscure 5 series Field Manual about how to defeat snake using countermobility assets. Complains that maneuver forces don't understand how to properly conduct doctrinal counter-snake ops.

9. Navy SEAL: Expends all ammunition and calls for naval gunfire support in failed attempt to kill snake. Snake bites SEAL and retreats to safety. Hollywood makes fantasy film in which SEALS kill Muslim extremist snakes.

10. Navy: Fires off 50 cruise missiles from various types of ships, kills snake and makes presentation to Senate Appropriations Committee on how Naval forces are the most cost-effective means of anti-snake force projection.

11. Marine: Kills snake by accident while looking for souvenirs. Local civilians demand removal of all US forces from Area of Operations.

12. Marine Recon: Follows snake, gets lost.

13. Combat Controllers: Guides snake elsewhere.

14. Para-Rescue Jumper: Wounds snake in initial encounter, then works feverishly to save snake's life.

15. Quartermaster: (NOTICE: Your anti-snake equipment is on backorder.)

16. C-17 Transport pilot: Receives call for anti-snake equipment, delivers two weeks after due date.

17. F-15 pilot: Mis-identifies snake as enemy Mil-24 Hind helicopter and engages with missiles. Crew chief paints snake kill on aircraft.

18. F-16 pilot: Finds snake, drops two CBU-87 cluster bombs, and misses snake target, but get direct hit on Embassy 100 KM East of snake due to weather (Too Hot also Too Cold, Was Clear but too overcast, Too dry with Rain, Unlimited ceiling with low cloud cover etc.) Claims that purchasing multi-million dollar, high-tech snake-killing device will enable it in the future to kill all snakes and achieve a revolution in military affairs.

19. AH-64 Apache pilot: Unable to locate snake, snakes don't show well on infra-red. Infrared only operable in desert AO's without power lines or SAM's.

20. UH-60 Blackhawk pilot: Finds snake on fourth pass after snake builds bonfire, pops smoke, lays out VS 17 to mark Landing Zone. Rotor wash blows snake into fire.

21. B-52 pilot: Pulls ARCLIGHT mission on snake, kills snake and every other living thing within two miles of target.

22. MinuteMan Missile crew: Lays in target coordinates to snake in 20seconds, but can't receive authorization from National Command Authority to use nuclear weapons.

23. Intelligence officer: Snake? What snake? Only four of 35 indicators of snake activity are currently active. We assess the potential for snake activity as LOW.

24. Judge Advocate General (JAG): Snake declines to bite, citing grounds of professional courtesy.

25. Signal: Tries to communicate with snake...fail repeated attempts. Complains that the snake did not have the correct fill or did not know how to work equipment a child could operate. Signal Officer informs the commander that he could easily communicate with the snake using just his voice. Commander insists that he NEEDS to video-conference with the snake, with real-time streaming positional and logistical data on the snake displayed on video screens to either side. Gives Signal Corps $5 Billion to make this happen. SigO abuses the 2 smart people in the corps to make it happen, while everybody else stands around, bitches, and takes credit. In the end, General Dynamics and several sub-contractors make a few billion dollars, the 2 smart people get out and go to work for them, and the commander gets what he asked for only in fiber-optic based simulations. The snake is forgotten.

[Wetdogeared]

Originally Posted by Kevin2960

Keep the Suggestions coming .......

You could move it clockwise, slowly, in an arc around your body to count down the number of hours left before your reader arrives.

or...

stick it through the letter box, if you have one, to let the courier know you're home.

[kindlekitten]

Originally Posted by LCF

Wll, since you obviously won't get a photo - here is a full list of the possible snakes. I've highlighted the prime suspects.

the relationship did not last long, but I'll go with the number 12 snake for $1500 please

[Kevin2960]

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

I'm starting to think that either:

1. Your local delivery person is a MR member (or reads MR) and is purposefully torturing you by withholding your delivery.

2. You are secretly sitting at home blissfully reading on your new reader whilst watching us beat our brains into a cyber-frenzy trying to answer your question. If this goes on much longer, I may have to set up a poll!

Poohbear, YOUR NOT the only one I so hate this waiting, If it doesn't arrive this morning (Saturday) then it won't be until Monday

NO Really I haven't yet got it, but it's SO Frustrating

Funny thing is my lovely M-Edge Cover and Light got here to UK from the States, with a delay in customs, quicker than the Reader traveling less than 100 Miles just within the UK

Go Figure

It's 6.45am Hopefully thread will end in a few hours ..... HaHa ..... Yes I am MAD enough to believe it MIGHT arrive

[Kevin2960]

Talking of Snakes ......






Me with my other Woman Cleo ..... the 9ft Red Tailed Common Boa Constrictor aged about 8 in the pcture, ubfortunately she died 8 months ago (Aged > 10 )

Cant get picture to display ...... so check in album "Me"

[FlorenceArt]

Kevin, you have a square head

[Javed]

Kevin Miss Boop , we can't see your famous right hand in that photo or even the famous right thumb! Cleo looks very beautiful, you must miss her. Thank you very much for sharing the photo. I get the feeling this wasn't taken on a weekend, by the clothes you are wearing.

[FlorenceArt]

Originally Posted by Kevin2960

Funny thing is my lovely M-Edge Cover and Light got here to UK from the States, with a delay in customs, quicker than the Reader traveling less than 100 Miles just within the UK

I don't know about the UK, but in France, the problem is the local delivery. After wasting tons of adrenalin, spending hours on the phone on paying numbers, and getting insulted by several deliverymen, I just gave up. I try to avoid deliveries, unless they are done by our postal service, which is not perfect but much simpler to manage for me: I just need to get to the post office to retrieve my package.

Right now, I am about to spend 1.5 hours going to a shop to buy something that I could have ordered on the Net. At least I'll be able to read on the métro and my peace of mind will be more or less unharmed

[GeoffC]

Originally Posted by kindlekitten

there's a HUGE difference when dealing with the trouser variety

Originally Posted by Javed

Kevin Miss Boop , we can't see your famous right hand in that photo or even the famous right thumb! Cleo looks very beautiful, you must miss her. Thank you very much for sharing the photo. I get the feeling this wasn't taken on a weekend, by the clothes you are wearing.

One paragraph that does NOT tally with the avatar currently on display - if it did I would be very worried.

For us we get NO courier deliveries at the weekend....

[Kevin2960]

Originally Posted by FlorenceArt

Kevin, you have a square head

NEVER Said I was Beautiful .... I'll put paper bag over my head so as not to offend you all

[Kevin2960]

Originally Posted by Javed

Kevin Miss Boop , we can't see your famous right hand in that photo or even the famous right thumb! Cleo looks very beautiful, you must miss her. Thank you very much for sharing the photo. I get the feeling this wasn't taken on a weekend, by the clothes you are wearing.

CORRECT Javed (THNX 4 Help), this was almost 3 years ago on a Monday, I gave a talk for my local Amateur Radio Society where I was the Vice Chairman,

Of course this was as Kevin, and not as my WEEKEND Self .... Miss Boop .... Oh the Avatar only LOOKS like me .....its NOT ME ... No SQUARE HEAD ......

[Kevin2960]

Originally Posted by FlorenceArt

I don't know about the UK, but in France, the problem is the local delivery. After wasting tons of adrenalin, spending hours on the phone on paying numbers, and getting insulted by several deliverymen, I just gave up. I try to avoid deliveries, unless they are done by our postal service, which is not perfect but much simpler to manage for me: I just need to get to the post office to retrieve my package.

Right now, I am about to spend 1.5 hours going to a shop to buy something that I could have ordered on the Net. At least I'll be able to read on the métro and my peace of mind will be more or less unharmed

No Just we BRITS can't get ANYTHING right ...... It will be here ...... SOON

[Kevin2960]

VOTE in the POLL
PLEASE

[GeoffC]

that's it then, you've had it for the weekend, go and watch footie instead, you can wave your right hand at the cameras....

[Kevin2960]

IT'S HERE .... Let Me Go Open It !!!!!!!!!!!