Unutterably Silly Convenient Lies

[pshrynk]

Well lubricated? Are you Irish, too?

[kindlekitten]

WHOOOPEEEEE!!!! lock AND load!

[Kevin2960]

OH No ...... Waking up on my wedding day, stuck in a packing case .....in the Cargo hold of a plane .....With Heck of a Hangover !

Worse Still you can hear just what your brides going to say when you try EXPLAINING .........

And I'll Kill that so called Best Man

[GeoffC]

yeh hey - I'm in charge of the salad bar - now this boss ought to be wary of what i can do with a carrot !!!!

[dsvick]

Originally Posted by GeoffC

yeh hey - I'm in charge of the salad bar - now this boss ought to be wary of what i can do with a carrot !!!!

While chopping and such please remember to keep all sharp, pointy objects away from the outer hull. On the other hand it would be fairly amusing to watch as the dirigible shot around the sky like a balloon with the air rushing out....

hmmm.... I wonder if it would make that farty noise as it did?

[NormHart]

oooooooooooo

Henchmen? I can hench!

I can even help you avoid those pesky

Union rates since I'm an Apprentice and don't have to work to scale.

Unfortunately the only henchman costume I could find was this one.

The butterfly motif kind of fits the whole LTA theme though, don't you think?

I was hoping you could use me as one of the Baroness' (or is it Queen Zelda's?) henchmen at Algiers (or is it Argentina?). (Bother, I am already confused about the plot line. Just as well I'm a henchman and will, no doubt, be killed off sooner or later.)

Anyway here is my response to the questionair;
Right, outside, Aisle, hard-boiled, fried hard, American, Beer, Wine, Bourbon, Scotch, and Vodka, crew-served battery, shovel and leaves, burros, throwy things and mechanical punch delivery system, Mario, “McGyver or death”, ship, Airship, Airship, "pull down the shades" (darlin’), western, Classical, the sound of rabid dogs savaging a cute bunny-wunny, Rock, rare, “I found this lodged under the couch, it's great, want some?” Jerky, chocolate malt, Whipped cream, JHP, other, Iron, passive, fingers, Eyes, temporary incapacity, wide-spread carnage, memories, Scales of justice, "I'll bet you won't try THAT again?" Internal/self-interest, Whew. (You said it!) Coffee, 8, Expert with kitchen implements, Clean meat, empathy, Mind-your-own, visual, "where my drink", "I'll gladly pay your $.25 Thursday for a hamburger today", just to adventurous to care, “It may take a while, but I'll take the whole damn hill, singlehanded!", Fred, Pinky, Stimpy, Joker

Be prepared to justify you answers. You have 60 seconds, except for the essay questions.

Uh, OK. Well I'm just a henchman so I pretty much picked the answers at random.

Oh, and can you keep a zepline on track for hours at a time with little/no contact with the ground?

No, I’m just a henchman. I did discover if I run pretty fast I can kind of glide on the costume wings (well it is more of a hop than a glide but it looks kinda cool, sort of).

I'll go practice henching while I await your reply... "Hench" "Hench" "Hench!"... glide... "ouch."

[badgoodDeb]

Yip, yip, yipee!! We're off to see the wizard ... the wonderful wizard of Id.

I'll try to keep my sharp throwy thing away from the zeppelin skin. Especially when we are hundreds of feet from the ground.

[mvisconte]

Originally Posted by NormHart

Unfortunately the only henchman costume I could find was this one.
[I M G]http://www.wired.com/geekdad/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/henchman-660x993.jpg[/I M G]

(look up! In the previous posts! It's a man! It's a bird? Is it a butterfly? I don't know what the heck it is...)

Originally Posted by NormHart

The butterfly motif kind of fits the whole LTA theme though, don't you think?

Pretty wild... Isn't that from Venture Brothers?

Originally Posted by NormHart

I was hoping you could use me as one of the Baroness' (or is it Queen Zelda's?) henchmen at Algiers (or is it Argentina?). (Bother, I am already confused about the plot line. Just as well I'm a henchman and will, no doubt, be killed off sooner or later.)

Sadly, I haven't heard from the Baroness since she found me out in the cantina... The Baroness told me she thinks I'm somebody (special?)!

She was supposed to meet me in the morning (for my own modesty, I insisted on sleeping alone... in a separate hotel... prefereble in a separate city -- I am still mad about the fountain incident). Seeing as I DID wake up (and with my wallet in original condition, too!), and didn't hear from her, she may have found an alternate mode. Or maybe she's pissed that she didn't get her hands on me (I know... "and my wallet" -- sheesh).

I have my own spies (well, as much as you can call janitors and desk clerks "spies") who tell me that she really needed a beard for a scam she was going to pull on some plenipotentiary who it seems collects art and antiques.

By "collects", I mean, he probably paid up front, whereas the baroness usually gets her stuff for free, and gets paid when it's fenced. But anyway -- She's after the Sulemon Collar or Suleman Plate. Pretty cool for 12th century bling.

Now, I know some of it's history, and I know that more than one drop of blood has been shed in it's travels. As in, somebody killed somebody who killed somebody else who killed somebody else who killed ... you can see the general theme. I just want to make sure I'm not just another somebody. I'm funny that way.

Besides, I went to all the trouble of liberating THIS zepplin, and I better get some use out of it as soon as I can, because after I see her again, I may not have it. She's funny that way.

Originally Posted by NormHart

Anyway here is my response to the questionair;
Right, outside, Aisle, hard-boiled, fried hard, American, Beer, Wine, Bourbon, Scotch, and Vodka, crew-served battery, shovel and leaves, burros, throwy things and mechanical punch delivery system, Mario, “McGyver or death”, ship, Airship, Airship, "pull down the shades" (darlin’), western, Classical, the sound of rabid dogs savaging a cute bunny-wunny, Rock, rare, “I found this lodged under the couch, it's great, want some?” Jerky, chocolate malt, Whipped cream, JHP, other, Iron, passive, fingers, Eyes, temporary incapacity, wide-spread carnage, memories, Scales of justice, "I'll bet you won't try THAT again?" Internal/self-interest, Whew. (You said it!) Coffee, 8, Expert with kitchen implements, Clean meat, empathy, Mind-your-own, visual, "where my drink", "I'll gladly pay your $.25 Thursday for a hamburger today", just to adventurous to care, “It may take a while, but I'll take the whole damn hill, singlehanded!", Fred, Pinky, Stimpy, Joker

I am seriously amazed that anyone got the clues and answered them (mostly) correctly. I can tell by your answers that you are a henchman.

Originally Posted by NormHart

Uh, OK. Well I'm just a henchman so I pretty much picked the answers at random.

Dang. I KNEW it!

Originally Posted by NormHart

I'll go practice henching while I await your reply... "Hench" "Hench" "Hench!"... glide... "ouch."

Be careful, you'll get a hernia that way. We do not have major medical (although I am sure you can work a deal with pshrynk for a share of any gold...)

I don't know that we will need any henchmen, as I don't consider us "bad guys", but you can come along. I am getting a little worried about our laden weight. (African sparrows not withstanding) I had planned to bring a couple cows along -- milk and butter on the trip out, and steak on the trip back. I don't know if that's on everybody's menu. Plus, I don't know when I'd have time for the ... er, processing. There are certain things that shouldn't be pushed off on other members, and usually the chores involving soulful cow eyes and stew pots are something I feel the weight of. Now, killing the bad guys is a fun chore, and everybody can join in on that. If we see any... I haven't really gotten that far!

[mvisconte]

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

Yip, yip, yipee!! We're off to see the wizard ... the wonderful wizard of Id.

I'll try to keep my sharp throwy thing away from the zeppelin skin. Especially when we are hundreds of feet from the ground.

Deb, you're el primo (prima? primette? pimento!)... let's not have the trip end before we're good and ready for it. Plus, it would be embarrassing to have to hear them talking about THAT at the Lovable Rogues Reunion. I am still having trouble with the fountain.

Dear, I noticed that you have a hole in your dinner plate.

Originally Posted by fakebadgoodDeb

That not a dinner plate, that's my wickedly-sharp, amazingly useful, boomerangy throwy-thing. I thought you were cleared for that level.

Nope, my highest clearance is "RIDICULOUS". I don't use throwy-things, and I was absent the day they covered that. Actually, I do have a couple of forged clearances... good enough to get us by sleepy guards in remote outposts.

Now, if you want to talk "things that go boom in the night", I AM cleared for that.

Also everyone, please be careful to clean up after yourselves... it's grown-up, it's polite, and it might save you a bout of dysentary... I saw WD(E) and Geoff doing dishes earlier... Geoff would put them on the ground, WD(E) would lick them clean, and Geoff would put them back in the cabinette. At least, that's what they did with MY plate. I saw that guys!

Next: Will whoever is sneaking the gin at night PLEASE stop adding water to the bottles? We KNOW you're doing it, that's fine, but don't water down what's left. Sheesh. I am ordering a couple more cases at one of our forward stops.

Next: Please be considerate when using the "heads"... turn the crank to the LEFT when we are over land, to move any... solids... to the holding tank. You turn the crank to the RIGHT when we're over OCEAN ONLY. I happen to know this first hand, as I got a very terse letter from the mayor of whatever that goofy little town was.

I need to get busy checking the system out. Please, please, PLEASE people, don't go pressing the buttons! Especially buttons that imply either things exploding, or things dropping. The main floor is also a loading hatch. We've lost one good table and set of chairs so far.

[mvisconte]

Luftschiff Vindenbourg LZ 1313 -- which I think means "sausage".

I found an instruction manual and I found the motor controls. The navigation system will be interesting... it appears to be an old ships wheel.

There's more room here than I expected. Neglecting the cargo bay, for now, we have cabins, a loung (with pianner), lavatories, dining room, kitchen, crews quarters, observation deck, bar (don't overlook that one), study (!), library (I figured you guys would get a kick of that... antique things with white paper in them and some even have pictures. Why didn't they have a coloring book lounge?). That's just pokin' around.

This is not your off-the-shelf dig... I found an armory, and several tilt-out false cabinets and fake drawers. Cutouts for handguns and some brackets for long guns. As soon as we crack the door to the armory, we'll see a little more about the owners.

Oh, Deb, don't worry about the throwy-thing... the interal casings are duralumin, with all gas bags behind bulkheads. Bag material is supposed to be a mylar/grape jelly composite. Outside skin is pretty cool. The sales brochure says that it's monocoque construction (titters of laughter from the background), with Carbon-fibre nano-organelle covering, and coated with boron fullerenes. Evidently slick as whale snot (?) and pretty dim on rader interogation. Why would they put that in a sales brochure? Are we likely to encounter whales?

Interiour lighting is from flexible, sheet-formed OLEDs... you should have controls in the passenger cabins, but just to be safe, anybody who might be able to prevent us from hitting anything should sleep in the crews quarters. You have to go through there to get to the engine mounts anyway.

Three propulsion engines, Durney-Kline models. Not fast, but good lift and damned near indestructable (a useful feature around me, I assure you) and so simple a 10 year old could understand them. If the 10 y.o. knew Heisenberg personnally. Whoever built this rig didn't rig it for speed, but for solid, heavy lifting... you'd think it was build for smuggling, heh.

Ah ha... no 'splosion danger it seems... This model isn't hydrogen gassed, it uses Flabber. It's Flabbergassed. It doesn't explode, but if you breath it, you talk funny. Like a whale I guess.

Nice decking... is that teak?

We can't leave until after dark... the captain's log (no Stardate) indicates that they had a run in with the dockmaster and inspectors. It seems that the Bastage Filters need to be cleaned before the ship can clear port. The captain's log reads "I think we're going to have problems with those dirty bastages. I've called a meeting with the dockmaster and his in-bred cronies... if they won't take a good, honest payoff, I may be force to cool them and maybe give them a nice ocean voyage."

Geoff... I wouldn't go poking into the big freezers just yet, if I were you.

[GeoffC]

Poking ....



Honestly Boss, I was just taking a LOOK !



Sheesh, nothing wrong with that, is there?

It wuz dark, the light on the fridge helped me to assemble the ingredients.....Just had to get rid of a few of the less savoury items, like, squirrel meat, Otter flanks, Ostritch and Squid eggs, and other such things that defy explanation to a normal humin bein....

No, the armoury,
I'm sorry, my knife slipped !


I know it isn't supposed to look like that, but really - you should have provided us all with the correct health and Safety briefing before we left base. Did you fill in those Risk Assessments ...... we have ISO 9.18763x-annex 25.78 to comply with before we land .....









.... No risk?

I'm getting out of here.... Risk is my middle name ..... Ask the chocolate Bar kid ....



Hey Debs, there's some BIG guns in this little old armoury ......

[kindlekitten]

HEY! where's the hot tub!?

[GeoffC]

underneath the hot air fans ...

[kindlekitten]

baugh! that's too noisy!

[GeoffC]

it's a dirigible whatsit ...!