Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 52

kennyc · 02-18-2010, 07:05 AM

And for cats too!

yvanleterrible · 02-18-2010, 07:52 AM

I know a couple of coworkers that could use that on a REGULAR BASIS...

LCF · 02-18-2010, 09:20 AM

A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Australian were in a bar and had just started on a new round of drinks when a fly landed in each glass of beer. The Englishman took his out on the blade of his Swiss Army knife. The Australian blew his away in a cloud of froth. The Scotsman lifted his one up carefully by the wings and held it above his glass. "Go on, spit it oot, ye wee devil" he growled.

kennyc · 02-18-2010, 09:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LCF

A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Australian were in a bar and had just started on a new round of drinks when a fly landed in each glass of beer. The Englishman took his out on the blade of his Swiss Army knife. The Australian blew his away in a cloud of froth. The Scotsman lifted his one up carefully by the wings and held it above his glass. "Go on, spit it oot, ye wee devil" he growled.

yvanleterrible · 02-18-2010, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LCF

A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Australian were in a bar and had just started on a new round of drinks when a fly landed in each glass of beer. The Englishman took his out on the blade of his Swiss Army knife. The Australian blew his away in a cloud of froth. The Scotsman lifted his one up carefully by the wings and held it above his glass. "Go on, spit it oot, ye wee devil" he growled.

desertgrandma · 02-18-2010, 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LCF

A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Australian were in a bar and had just started on a new round of drinks when a fly landed in each glass of beer. The Englishman took his out on the blade of his Swiss Army knife. The Australian blew his away in a cloud of froth. The Scotsman lifted his one up carefully by the wings and held it above his glass. "Go on, spit it oot, ye wee devil" he growled.

LazyScot · 02-18-2010, 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LCF

A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Australian were in a bar and had just started on a new round of drinks when a fly landed in each glass of beer. The Englishman took his out on the blade of his Swiss Army knife. The Australian blew his away in a cloud of froth. The Scotsman lifted his one up carefully by the wings and held it above his glass. "Go on, spit it oot, ye wee devil" he growled.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kennyc

Quote:

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

Quote:

Originally Posted by desertgrandma

Why are you all laughing?

desertgrandma · 02-18-2010, 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LazyScot

Why are you all laughing?

Oh. I wasn't laughing at YOU, LS., honest!!

It was the picture in my mind of anyone trying to squeeze that miniscule drop out..........'snort...........

Katti's Cat · 02-18-2010, 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by desertgrandma

Oh. I wasn't laughing at YOU, LS., honest!!

It was the picture in my mind of anyone trying to squeeze that miniscule drop out..........'snort...........

Yeah that's what I was laughing about too.

I'd be squeezing the fly too if it tried to get some of my single malt.

roger the rabbit · 02-19-2010, 03:36 AM

A Scotsman walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand.
The Scotsman man shouts ' Awa ye feel hoor thatâs full Oâ coos Sharn'
(Don't drink the water, it's full of cow s ** t.)
The man shouts back 'I'm English, Speak English, I don't understand you'.
The Scotsman man shouts back 'Use both hands, you'll get more in.'

Katti's Cat · 02-19-2010, 07:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by roger the rabbit

A Scotsman walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand.
The Scotsman man shouts ' Awa ye feel hoor thatâs full Oâ coos Sharn'
(Don't drink the water, it's full of cow s ** t.)
The man shouts back 'I'm English, Speak English, I don't understand you'.
The Scotsman man shouts back 'Use both hands, you'll get more in.'

go scotty go

LCF · 02-19-2010, 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by roger the rabbit

A Scotsman walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand.
The Scotsman man shouts ' Awa ye feel hoor thatâs full Oâ coos Sharn'
(Don't drink the water, it's full of cow s ** t.)
The man shouts back 'I'm English, Speak English, I don't understand you'.
The Scotsman man shouts back 'Use both hands, you'll get more in.'

The USA and the Soviet Union are in a childish competition. Who's bigger, who's smarter, who's faster, etc. are issues being debated constantly.
One day the US President - George Bush gets a call from NASA: "Mr. President! The Russians have landed on the Moon!"
The next day NASA calls again: "Sir! The Russians are starting to paint the Moon red!"
Bush treats the issue with little interest, NASA, the US Air Force, the Navy, the Army, the Marines are all alarmed and push Bush to do something about it.
Few days later, they assault him: "Mr.President, we have to do something, they already painted half of the Moon red!"
Bush doesn't give much attention to all the noise and fuss around him...
Another week later, the US Congress starts a meeting on the subject, accusing Bush of ignorance: "They have painted the Moon red! It's as red as the communist flag, red red red!"
Bush: "O.K. guys, take some white paint and let's write Coca-Cola on it now!"

Katti's Cat · 02-19-2010, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LCF

The USA and the Soviet Union are in a childish competition. Who's bigger, who's smarter, who's faster, etc. are issues being debated constantly.
One day the US President - George Bush gets a call from NASA: "Mr. President! The Russians have landed on the Moon!"
The next day NASA calls again: "Sir! The Russians are starting to paint the Moon red!"
Bush treats the issue with little interest, NASA, the US Air Force, the Navy, the Army, the Marines are all alarmed and push Bush to do something about it.
Few days later, they assault him: "Mr.President, we have to do something, they already painted half of the Moon red!"
Bush doesn't give much attention to all the noise and fuss around him...
Another week later, the US Congress starts a meeting on the subject, accusing Bush of ignorance: "They have painted the Moon red! It's as red as the communist flag, red red red!"
Bush: "O.K. guys, take some white paint and let's write Coca-Cola on it now!"

but are you sure it was Bush???

LCF · 02-20-2010, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katti's Cat

but are you sure it was Bush???

Pretty much. The other Bush I mean, not the last President.

kennyc · 02-20-2010, 01:26 PM

A bush is a bush is a bush.....unless it's a burning bush.

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02-18-2010, 07:05 AM	#766
kennyc The Dank Side of the Moon Posts: 35,901 Karma: 119230421 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Denver, CO Device: Kindle2; Kindle Fire	And for cats too!

02-18-2010, 07:52 AM	#767
yvanleterrible Reborn Paper User Posts: 8,616 Karma: 15446734 Join Date: May 2006 Location: Que Nada Device: iPhone8, iPad Air	I know a couple of coworkers that could use that on a REGULAR BASIS...

02-18-2010, 09:20 AM	#768
LCF Wizard Posts: 1,472 Karma: 9795311 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Germany Device: Hanlin V3 (LBook), GS3	A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Australian were in a bar and had just started on a new round of drinks when a fly landed in each glass of beer. The Englishman took his out on the blade of his Swiss Army knife. The Australian blew his away in a cloud of froth. The Scotsman lifted his one up carefully by the wings and held it above his glass. "Go on, spit it oot, ye wee devil" he growled.

02-19-2010, 03:36 AM	#775
roger the rabbit Addict Posts: 316 Karma: 10215 Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Wherever I lay my hat! Device: Sony PRS-T3, 650 Black, 505, Kobo Glo HD Aura ONE	A Scotsman walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand. The Scotsman man shouts ' Awa ye feel hoor thatâs full Oâ coos Sharn' (Don't drink the water, it's full of cow s ** t.) The man shouts back 'I'm English, Speak English, I don't understand you'. The Scotsman man shouts back 'Use both hands, you'll get more in.'

02-20-2010, 01:26 PM	#780
kennyc The Dank Side of the Moon Posts: 35,901 Karma: 119230421 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Denver, CO Device: Kindle2; Kindle Fire	A bush is a bush is a bush.....unless it's a burning bush.