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Old 12-31-2009, 05:47 PM   #646
dreams
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During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:

MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy Sacramento

When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.........
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Old 01-09-2010, 09:43 AM   #647
mores
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Two weeks ago was my 34th birthday and I wasn`t feeling too good that morning.
I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say,
"Happy Birthday!", and probably have a present for me.
As it turned out, she didn`t even say good morning, let alone any happy birthday.
I thought, well, that`s wives for you, the children will remember...The children came in to breakfast and didn`t say a word.
So when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent..
As I walked into my office, my secretary Janet said, "Good morning, Boss, Happy Birthday". And I felt a little better that someone had remembered.
I worked until noon, then Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know, it`s such a beautiful day outside, and it`s your birthday, let`s go to lunch, just you and me."
I said, "That`s the greatest thing I`ve heard all day, let`s go!"
We went to lunch we didn`t go where we normally go; instead we went out to a private little place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.
On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it`s such a beautiful day, we don`t need to go back to the office, do we?"
I said, "No, I guess not." She said, "Let`s go to my apartment."
After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don`t mind, I think I`ll go into the bedroom. "Sure!" I excitedly replied.
She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ----- followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday.
And I just sat there ... on the couch ... naked.
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Old 01-09-2010, 09:49 AM   #648
Wetdogeared
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mores View Post
...in about six minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ----- followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday.
And I just sat there ... on the couch ... naked.
It took 6 minutes to get undressed or was that to light the candles?
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Old 01-09-2010, 11:04 AM   #649
yvanleterrible
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wetdogeared View Post
It took 6 minutes to get undressed or was that to light the candles?
I'm pretty shure the candle was blazing...
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Old 01-19-2010, 09:45 AM   #650
pilotbob
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Not really a joke but a sort of funny airline briefing video:

http://link.brightcove.com/services/...id=16920289001

BOb
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Old 01-19-2010, 09:58 AM   #651
Sweetpea
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pilotbob View Post
Not really a joke but a sort of funny airline briefing video:

http://link.brightcove.com/services/...id=16920289001

BOb
Much better than those boring airline briefings!
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Old 01-20-2010, 11:19 AM   #652
WT Sharpe
Bah, humbug!
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The following anecdote is from Steve Allen's Private Joke File by Steve Allen:

Quote:
According to Sports Illustrated, a journalist visiting the Oak-land Raiders' training camp in Santa Rosa, California, had just come from the nearby Jack London Home State Historic Monument. He read the following sample of London's prose to quarterback Ken Stabler:

"'I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry rot.

"'I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.'"

"What does that mean to you?" the newspaperman asked.

"Throw deep," said Stabler.
Last edited by WT Sharpe; 01-20-2010 at 01:30 PM.
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Old 01-20-2010, 03:44 PM   #653
kennyc
The Dank Side of the Moon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WT Sharpe View Post
The following anecdote is from Steve Allen's Private Joke File by Steve Allen:

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Old 01-22-2010, 04:36 AM   #654
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Answer the question, please...
I want to ask you only one question, but it's very important question...
This question is about assumed situation, but you have to make a decision, IAE.
So, you are in USA, Florida, Miami. You are flying in a rescue helicopter. There is absolutely a chaos around you, caused by a huge storm. You are the professional photographer, and you are trying to take an excellent shots about this tragedy. The nature showed it's most awful face...

But all of a sudden you noticed a man sitting in a big black station-wagon, which is almost under water... It's obvious that this man is desperately fighting for his life, but he is very tired. The helicopter is moving closer, and you see, that this man is no other, but... Barack Obama, The President Of the United States of America! What is he doing here???

And you see the wall of water, and it's falling straight on this wagon!!! In one minute your President will be buried under this wave. So you have two options to choose: rescue your president, or take a greatest shot in your career, which will make you rich and known in worldwide!

So, the question is:
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WILL YOU TAKE A COLOURED PHOTOGRAPH OR BLACK-AND-WHITE?
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Old 01-22-2010, 07:19 AM   #655
yvanleterrible
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Absolutely no picture, I would save the man, any man woman of child for that matter. ..
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Old 01-22-2010, 06:05 PM   #656
pshrynk
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yvanleterrible View Post
Absolutely no picture, I would save the man, any man woman of child for that matter. ..
Even a lawyer?
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Old 01-22-2010, 06:39 PM   #657
kennyc
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Even a lawyer?
good point!
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Old 01-22-2010, 10:53 PM   #658
Katti's Cat
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Even a lawyer?
well, you can always throw him back after rescuing him and finding out it was a lawyer
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Old 01-23-2010, 08:20 AM   #659
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Heartless people, all of you!

Has anyone read 'The Life of Pi'?
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Old 01-23-2010, 08:40 AM   #660
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Quote:
Has anyone read 'The Life of Pi'?
No, but I eat it regularly . . .

. . . wait, um, what?

Oh -- nevermind.

Dan <><
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