I'm a stranger here, myself...

[GeoffC]

...that doggie ------ over there >>>>>>>>>


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[mvisconte]

Originally Posted by pshrynk

Along about now, you should be having some memories of a taxi ride through several local bars. ....

Any way, just ignore those memories. you're not scheduled to actually experience them until tomorrow at orange. ...

I do kinda remember the taxi ride through several bars, but I swear I wasn't the one driving...

Was anybody hurt?

I don't think I can make it 'til Orange... my chronillogygraph is stuck at Blue Dark:thirty. I'm getting a little nervous, and the ticking has gotten louder and faster, but the hands refuse to move. Now if I could get the cat-eyes to quit wagging back and forth, I'd be able to sleep...

(http://www.kit-cat.com/kitcathistory.htm)

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by mvisconte

I do kinda remember the taxi ride through several bars, but I swear I wasn't the one driving...

Was anybody hurt?

I don't think I can make it 'til Orange... my chronillogygraph is stuck at Blue Dark:thirty. I'm getting a little nervous, and the ticking has gotten louder and faster, but the hands refuse to move. Now if I could get the cat-eyes to quit wagging back and forth, I'd be able to sleep...

(http://www.kit-cat.com/kitcathistory.htm)

crikey ! that thing is just a tiny bit scary ! who knew the guardian of time was actually a cat, looking far too jaunty to be trustworthy ? that's the last thing i would have expected. don't worry though ; despite those disconcertingly wagging eyes and immobile hands, Orange is closer than you think. and here, put this blindfold on : it will keep the dark out and also keep your eyes in. no point in giving your brain any other possible exit routes, is there ? you can take it off again as soon as you stop seeing the lovely hedgehog-striped butterflies.

[mvisconte]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

crikey ! that thing is just a tiny bit scary ! who knew the guardian of time was actually a cat, looking far too jaunty to be trustworthy ?

That jaunty, bow-tied, mustachio-ed, smiling, not-quite-trustworthy individual just sold me a used card (four-door), a half-interest in an uranium mind, essential moving parts of the Crooklyn Bridge, several incriminating negatives (I'm positive of that), and somehow managed to get me drubk, remove my kidneys, and leave me in a wash tub full of ice with a toy phone (duck-)taped to my chest with a note to "don't press the RED button!". I can't even FIND the red button, much less push it.

I can, however, see blue wires, and he left me these neat dykes, so I might as well have a go at 'em. I also have a wire stripper, but I have no money, so I'll have to pass (out).

Note: After I originally read what I wrote above, I noted some shorts in my Pro-Con power supply, and for safety's sake, I am now con-fused.

Second Note: After noticing the similarities in the smelling for sake (as in "for guiness' sake") and sake (as in "warm wine'll ne'er get me dronk"), I am now happily sozzled, and slieghtly addle-pated. I think addle-pated is ig-pay atin-lay, but I'm hardly shore.

[pshrynk]

Well, I think he's going to fit right in here, myself.

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by pshrynk

Well, I think he's going to fit right in here, myself.

well, naturally. why do you think i invited him ? you know i only frequent a very high quality of person.

as for *you*, buster, sheesh, how many times have i told you ? never buy anything from a shifty cat who can't even look you in the eye ! i don't even know what you're going to do with that stuff. if you can't unload it on craigslist you're going to have to sneak it downstairs and leave it on the edge of the sidewalk in the middle of the night. don't leave it right in front of the building, whatever you do ! take it down a few doors.

[mvisconte]

I wasn't planning on buying anything except he was quite persuasive. I think it was his tie. He said that I could get my money back any time I wanted.

I don't know what I did with the receipt but he told me he'd give me back one of my kidneys, and he'll take the Crooklyn Bridge parts back, and he's going to pay me in BOUILLON! I've seen it! They're little gold cubes, and they smell faintly of chicken.

You know what? He sells Tupperware AND timeshares!

Quite an timely investment, as my lettuce often wilts.

He won't let me invest in a timeshare unless I attend the mandatory 4-hour sales presentation. I get to stay at a nearby Super-666 motel and tour the property during low tide.

Once I get weeks 7, 32, 17, 63, and 11, he says I should make all my money back by renting the weeks out. So y'all tell me which ones you want, and we can arrange for some bouillon to change hands. Just remember to wash afterwards.

As for the rest of the stuff, I was planning on leaving it in front of your building. I will be discrete.

[LazyScot]

Originally Posted by mvisconte

I wasn't planning on buying anything except he was quite persuasive. I think it was his tie. He said that I could get my money back any time I wanted.

I think I know this character. The problem is that once you've given him your money it becomes his money, and so you can no longer get it back. All you can do is try to get him to give you back the money you already have. Unfortunately, this means you have to give him more money, and, from your perspective, you find yourself on the negative end of a highly profitable business model.

Originally Posted by mvisconte

I don't know what I did with the receipt but he told me he'd give me back one of my kidneys, and he'll take the Crooklyn Bridge parts back, and he's going to pay me in BOUILLON! I've seen it! They're little gold cubes, and they smell faintly of chicken.

Would that be a trade-in stock or a stock in trade?

Originally Posted by mvisconte

You know what? He sells Tupperware AND timeshares!

And his timeshare contracts, like tupperware containers, are airtight?

Originally Posted by mvisconte

Quite an timely investment, as my lettuce often wilts.

Have you consulted a urologist?

Originally Posted by mvisconte

He won't let me invest in a timeshare unless I attend the mandatory 4-hour sales presentation. I get to stay at a nearby Super-666 motel and tour the property during low tide.

Did he recommend a one-way or return ticket?

Originally Posted by mvisconte

Once I get weeks 7, 32, 17, 63, and 11, he says I should make all my money back by renting the weeks out. So y'all tell me which ones you want, and we can arrange for some bouillon to change hands. Just remember to wash afterwards.

I make it a policy of only renting the popular weeks, as determined by those that are completely booked out. So if you let me know which weeks are unavailable, I'll have one of those. However, I can only pay in vegetable bouillon. What exchange rate are you offering?

Originally Posted by mvisconte

As for the rest of the stuff, I was planning on leaving it in front of your building. I will be discrete.

In that case, around here, you will stand out like a sane person. May I suggest you wear some jester's slippers, dayglo breeches, go bear-chested and arrange hire of a J-P Gaultier special choker. A coruscating beanie would be an excellent finishing touch. This should render you completely invisible.

[mvisconte]

from the property tour.

Funny thing about that. My tide tables were for 2007, but I figured, hey, both odd years, both Novembers, right.

It'll take me a while to get over the snorkle incident.

Week 63 is not recommended, as that's out beyond the end of the year and the end of the reef. Well, "artificial reef". Made of submerged vessels. Well, "garbage scow" is a vessel, you know. Oh, and the "abundant shore life" seems to consist mainly of rather grumpy fiddler crabs and tonnes of sea gulls. Not the "Jonathon Livingston" type, but the "eat spoiled garbage, attach living creatures who are holding french fries, and poops-on-everything" variety. "Aquatic Rats With Wings" is the genus name.

I was also accosted by a rather amorous otter, much to my chagrin. It's my fault, actually. I did smell rather much like (dead) shellfish. You can't climb a garbage dune the same way you climb a sand dune.

I'm beginning to think that real estate speculation is not for me.

I'm going back to my earlier trade, itinerant bikini-waxer.

[kindlekitten]

I had to deal with an amorous dolphin once. it was awkward.

[mvisconte]

Originally Posted by LazyScot

I make it a policy of only renting the popular weeks, as determined by those that are completely booked out. So if you let me know which weeks are unavailable, I'll have one of those. However, I can only pay in vegetable bouillon. What exchange rate are you offering?

I'm allergic to vegetables. but I happen to know that week 63 IS unavailable. Quite unavailable. Unless you have an Aqualung (and a stereo).

Originally Posted by LazyScot

In that case, around here, you will stand out like a sane person. May I suggest you wear some jester's slippers, dayglo breeches, go bear-chested and arrange hire of a J-P Gaultier special choker. A coruscating beanie would be an excellent finishing touch. This should render you completely invisible.

I have that outfit! You aren't peeking, are you?

[mvisconte]

Originally Posted by kindlekitten

I had to deal with an amorous dolphin once. it was awkward.

It IS awkward. The next morning, I couldn't remember her name.

"Help yourself to some fish -uh... honey. Listen, I've got to go to work, just let yourself out. Uh, could you just leave me your number and, uh... spell your name. BYE!"

[pshrynk]

A moose once bit my sister...

[mvisconte]

Where?

[dsvick]

Originally Posted by kindlekitten

I had to deal with an amorous dolphin once. it was awkward.

I had a dolphin tip me over once while kayaking near Folly Beach SC.