The Case of the Drowning Baptists

[zelda_pinwheel]

a sniper ??? now who on earth could want to shoot at a bunch of religious extremists trying to convert hostages by force ??? that's just crazy talk !

[Greg Anos]

The next post is a bit short, but the story flow seemed break there. These things happen sometimes....

[Greg Anos]

Scaring snipers is a lot like killing tanks. A

lot of fun once you learn how, but not

habit forming if you make mistakes. You

see, your typical sniper is focused on

getting silently into position and being

ready for that "perfect shot" target

showing up. They are focused, but not

usually on their backside.



Some people go for style points. A simple

"Boo" is effective, but a classy favorite

is "How many rounds do you have,

soldier?". The really tacky people like

to scream "Ten Hut" right behind them.

The really mean ones prefer carrying a

sawed-off pump .12 gauge and get

just behind the sniper and then jack a

round thru the chamber. That's a

guaranteed pants changer.



Of course, if it's a two man team with a

spotter, you're better off dealin' a

long distance with a bull horn and a

couple of flanking snipers of you own.



I hadn't spotted a spotter, though that

didn't mean there wasn't one. I

figgered he was a ways off,

communicating by some form of

telecom, and probably off duty

anyways. I was bettin' that they

wouldn't shoot me without asking

some questions first. And if they

didn't want to give away their

position, they wouldn't move. And

since they were kibitzing in the

first place, they weren't going to

give their position away, not with

all those FBI agents around there

with guns and annoyed egos.



Bein' the polite gentleman that I am,

I carefully sneaked in until I got to

about 5 meters from the sniper.



"Seargent, I need to talk with your

C.O." You had to make seargent

before you could apply to sniper school.



There was a twitch in the grass and

then nothing. An old pro. I

returned the favor.



"Seargent, I have two snipers zeroed

on you. You're out of your

jurisdiction, and no court will hold

them responsible if you make a

move at me. Now I know you're

only followin' orders, and I

respect that. I'm the FBI negotiator

for this deal, and I'd like to talk

up your chain of command. You're

the only contact I have so far."



Still no reaction.



Sigh. "Ok, seargent. Bravo, Delta,

illuminate the target."



Two red laser spots hit the grass area

about where his chest should be. Like

me, he could see the color bounce off

the grass where they hit it.



That seem to convince him.



"Alright mister, you've made your point."



"Bravo, Delta, drop the spots." The

targeting lasers disappeared. " Now

seargent, I'm assuming you have a

contact with your spotter and your

C.O. Can you tell them I'm not

shootin' and I just want to settle

the jurisdiction issue, peacefully, if at all

possible. And tell me where they are?"



"Give me a minute."



A couple of minutes of soft muttering

started.



"The C.O. for this operation is over on

Josephine Street." He gave me the

address.



"Thanks, seargent. I don't want or need

to know where your spotter is."

Professional courtesy.



"By the way, who are you?"



"The handle's Red. Red Edwards."



"How did you spot me?"



"You're in the line of sight between the

messenger when he goes by and the

horizon. You did a great job of camoflage,

but those .50 Cals are bears to hide.

Barrett's, isn't it?"


"You know your guns, Red."


"Yep, I got one back home. Last used by

a pretty girl workin' for me over in

Australia. Are you single?"



"Happily married."



"I figgered you two might want to talk

shop, but I don't want to put temptation

in front of a fella. Y'all have a nice day."



I headed back to the car.

[zelda_pinwheel]

"A lot of fun once you learn how, but not habit forming if you make mistakes."


(wow, regular text looks minuscule after reading one of these chapters. you're playing with my mind here, sir.)

[Greg Anos]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

"A lot of fun once you learn how, but not habit forming if you make mistakes."


(wow, regular text looks minuscule after reading one of these chapters. you're playing with my mind here, sir.)

But I'm playing nice... Whenever DixieGal's eyes are able to handle the standard font, I'll go back. It's works redoing the margins....

[badgoodDeb]

"Ten Hut!" (giggle....)

[Greg Anos]

He didn't tell me the C.O.'s name, so

when I went into the house, I was in for a

bit of suprise. I knew the guy in charge

there.


"Howdy, Jake. How was Pinwheel?"


"It was that discord at customs with your

assistant that brought me back. I've been

trying to repair my career ever since

then."


"You shoulda given me a ring. I would

have talked to the Brass."


"I've already had too much of your help."


I shrugged. There's just no pleasin'

some people. "At least you could

introduce me to the Major."


He turned a bit red, but spat out, "This

is Major Ruiz. He's in charge of the

tactical situation."


I stuck out my hand. "Good to meet you,

Major. I'm Red Edwards. You can

call me Red. A Marine is always

welcome at my house."


"Red, how did you spot my man?"


"Now don't hold it against him. The FBI

hadn't spotted him. That's a real

hard place to do full camo at. He

did a great job, but those Barret

.50's are real hard to hide. I've got

one myself. I expect if I'd kept on

lookin' I'd have found your other

nests."


"What other nests?"


"Don't play me for a chump, Major.

If you've got one side of a building

covered, you've got all the sides of

the building covered. And you've got

an assault team around here, too,

or at least on the way."


The major forced a grin. "You're

obviously an experienced campaigner."


"The sniper I met had excellent

discipline. Didn't even twitch when

he realized he was spotted." I

always like to look out for the real

workers.


Jake decided to stick his oar in. "Now that

you've finished complementing the

military, how about you leaving and

telling the FBI it's no longer their

jurisdiction. It's a State department

matter now."


I don't mind people sticking in their oars,

but they d----d well better know how

to paddle. I reckoned it was time to

give ol' Jake a few lessons.


"Jake, stop bein' a Foggy Bottom Idiot for

once. If the FBI was being taken off,

somebody with real authority would be

taking them off. And they wouldn't be

usin' me as a mouthpiece. Even a dumb

redneck like me knows that one." I

ignored the suppressed snicker from the

major.


Jake wasn't payin' attention to anything

but me. "Out!" He shouted, "You're not

on this case any more!"


"Jake, I can't leave the case without being

shown overriding authority. Everybody

knows that. Show me your authority."


"Here's my authority!" and waived a State

Department paper at me.


"Easy, Jake, let me read it."


I looked it over. Full authority to handle

the hostage situation had been given

him by the Secretary Of State. The

old battle-axe was trying to sneak

one by The Prez. I shook my head.

Politicians and promises.


"Why haven't you already knocked on the

FBI's door?"


" I'll do it when I ready to."


"You mean you'll do it after you get the

assault team deployed. Which it

obviously isn't." I suspected that

certain military commanders weren't

pleased by their orders and were

draggin their heels.


I turned to the Major. "Don't worry,

Major. I'll have this sorted out in

30 minutes or so. The record of the

Marines won't be smirched."


"Now Jake," I said, turning back. "That's a

real pretty piece of paper, but

doesn't have enough stroke behind

it."


"You think you've got more authority

than The Secretary Of State?"


"Nope, I know I've got more authority

than the Secretary Of State.

Now do you want to tell Kaitempi

Kate that she's been outranked,

or shall I?"


Jake sneered, "Prove it, bigshot."


I sighed. Some people can't add two plus

two. He was being set up as the

fall guy for one of Kaitempi Kate's

power grabs.


"Ok, Jake, we're gonna play a game of

Diplomat Double Jepardy. The category

that has been chosed for you is

Political Power. You've just wagered

your career and pension on the

following question. And the answer

is - What offical in the US

Government has the right to throw

a Secretary Of State out on her

keister. Please remember to answer in

the form of a question."


I started humming the Jeopardy theme

song. "Da de dum dum da de dum,

da de dum de daaa de dum dum

dum dum dum....."


Jake stopped being angry and started

being bit pale.


"...de dum dum. Time's up, Jake. What's

the question."


Jake said in a small voice, "The

President."


"It needs to be in the form of a question."


"Who is The President."


"Right. And you win your pension. I have

direct authority from The Prez. And

this entire conversation is on a wire

straight to the FBI team over there,

so it won't do you any good to have

me shot. Now do you want to call her

or shall I?"


"You'd better call her. I think all I'd get

done is get fired."


"Wise choice." Why did I get all the dirty

jobs. I heard Bubba laughing in the

back of my head. "'Cause you do

them so well...."

[desertgrandma]

AACCKK..........either my glasses are messed up or the type is running into itself........can't read it!!

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by desertgrandma

AACCKK..........either my glasses are messed up or the type is running into itself........can't read it!!

wait for it... i think sir is fixing it up even as i write this.

[Greg Anos]

Sorry folks, I use big type for Dixiegal's bad eyes. When you blow it up big, it doesn't provide a new line height. I have to go in an put in new breaks for every line a skip a line for each line. I can't see the margins while doing it, so it takes time....

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by Ralph Sir Edward

Sorry folks, I use big type for Dixiegal's bad eyes. When you blow it up big, it doesn't provide a new line height. I have to go in an put in new breaks for every line a skip a line for each line. I can't see the margins while doing it, so it takes time....

that's what i guessed you were doing. thanks for going to so much trouble ! it's really kind of you. i hope that dixiegal knows you can easily enlarge the text on any webpage by holding ctrl and tapping the + key, for the pages which don't have large type.

[zelda_pinwheel]

pfff, bureaucrats. always getting hung up on "orders" and "authority" and silly pieces of paper.

[desertgrandma]

Originally Posted by Ralph Sir Edward

Sorry folks, I use big type for Dixiegal's bad eyes. When you blow it up big, it doesn't provide a new line height. I have to go in an put in new breaks for every line a skip a line for each line. I can't see the margins while doing it, so it takes time....

I knew you knew as soon as you hit "submit".

I was just joshin' ya..........

[Greg Anos]

Is everybody being entertained , so far? If so, look forward to the next episode of The Case of The Drowning Baptists, when you will get to read wire transcript of Red's conversation with the Secretary of State.

Coming soon to a thread near you.....

[badgoodDeb]

Oh, I'm wildly entertained! This is GREAT stuff!