The Vent and Rant Thread

[kazbates]

I completely agree with DGma when others look at my full name on my credit card, etc., and refer to me by my first name. I would prefer that they show me some respect and use a more formal address since we've never introduced ourselves. The same thing happens when I am teaching. I refer to the parents of my students as Mr. and Mrs. "whoever". It annoys me to no end when they call me by my first name, especially as I would never do the reverse. Once again, I think it infers a sense of familiarity that doesn't really exist. Besides, I'm not there for a party. I'm there in a professional capacity even if some people think teachers are little more than babysitters.

Originally Posted by nomesque

<SNIP> 2. I walk up to a checkout. A woman with "Clare" written on her nametag serves me. While I'll chat to her (if she's in the mood), I will NOT refer to her by name. Because knowing her name hasn't showed that I've listened and been interested in her communication, it just shows that a) I can read and b) I've been looking in the general direction of her boobs.

I sheepishly admit that I do use the name on name tags. I'm a friendly person and if they are wearing the thing, I figure it's okay to use it. When we are out to dinner and the waitperson tells me their name, I make a point to remember it and use it when speaking to them. I've never had a negative reaction to that. Of course, if their tag said, Mr. or Ms. SoandSo, that's how I would address them.

[Lady Blue]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

i'm lucky, my name doesn't seem to have any sort of contracted form.

HUH?






. . . how much more contracted can you get?

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by kazbates

I completely agree with DGma when others look at my full name on my credit card, etc., and refer to me by my first name. I would prefer that they show me some respect and use a more formal address since we've never introduced ourselves.

i don't think this would happen in france. formality between strangers is much more obvious a part of the culture here, although less so between young people of course and in some social circles. it's like "tu" and "vous" ; you don't say "tu" to someone you don't know, unless it's a child. there's even an expression, "on n'a pas gardé les cochons ensemble" (we didn't watch the pigs together) if someone is too familiar.

[neilmarr]

Of course, Zelda, you're right. I feel, though, that 'monsieur' (in a country where
French is the native language) is more like an informal apology that your surname is unknown, but at the same time offers a gentle, unobtrusive sense of respect (you would return the 'monsieur' to whoever addresses you, though if a taillor or shopkeeper addresses you as 'sir' in an English-speaking country, you're unlikely to respond in kind). Followed by the surname -- eg M. Marr -- it's different. Makes me feel old and makes me feel like I'm a mere visitor to the day and the company. I also like how folks where I live refer to a man as 'le monsieur': that gives even a passing stranger a little standing as a man with esteem even though he's just ... well ... just a guy. Also, I don't mind: "Hi man -- how's it goin'?" I'm not one for formality. Neil Marr (Mrs)

ntmarrATbewrite.net

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by Lady Blue

HUH?


Attachment 37032



. . . how much more contracted can you get?

well exactly ! after "z" you really can't shorten it any more !

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by neilmarr

Of course, Zelda, you're right. I feel, though, that 'monsieur' (in a country where
French is the native language) is more like an informal apology that your surname is unknown, but at the same time offers a gentle, unobtrusive sense of respect (you would return the 'monsieur' to whoever addresses you, though if a taillor or shopkeeper addresses you as 'sir' in an English-speaking country, you're unlikely to respond in kind. Followed by the surname (M. Marr) it's different. Makes me feel old and makes me feel like I'm a mere visitor to the day. I also like how folks where I live refer to a man as 'le monsieur': that gives even a passing stranger a little standing as a man with esteem even though he's just ... well ... just a guy. Also, I don't mind: "Hi man -- how's it go?" I'm not one for formality.

yes, i think that's quite right. of course, my friend who twitches when someone calls him "monsieur" reacts that way because he's more used to hearing "hé mec" or maybe "comrade".

[neilmarr]

Hey, Sweetpea: Where can I pick up one of those waterproof, bendy keyboards? Seems an absolute neccessity in case of emergency -- a bit like carrying a spare wheel. Cheers. Neil

[kazbates]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

i don't think this would happen in france. formality between strangers is much more obvious a part of the culture here, although less so between young people of course and in some social circles. it's like "tu" and "vous" ; you don't say "tu" to someone you don't know, unless it's a child. there's even an expression, "on n'a pas gardé les cochons ensemble" (we didn't watch the pigs together) if someone is too familiar.

I am definitely going to borrow that phrase! I wish I could pronounce the French version, but I like the English translation just as much.

I wish we would go back to being a little more formal in our dealings with people. It seems that as we've gotten more informal, we've also lost politeness and manners, at least here in the States. People think nothing of butting in line or having a phone conversation at top decibels while sitting in a restaurant surrounded by people. Common courtesy is almost seen as an archaic concept.

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by kazbates

I am definitely going to borrow that phrase! I wish I could pronounce the French version, but I like the English translation just as much.

it shouldn't be too hard to say in french. it's not like "grenouille".

I wish we would go back to being a little more formal in our dealings with people. It seems that as we've gotten more informal, we've also lost politeness and manners, at least here in the States. People think nothing of butting in line or having a phone conversation at top decibels while sitting in a restaurant surrounded by people. Common courtesy is almost seen as an archaic concept.

let me reassure you, even though we have tu vs. vous here, we still have plenty of rude people.

[kennyc]

Bipolar disorder sucks. That's all I'm saying...

[ShortNCuddlyAm]

Originally Posted by kennyc

Bipolar disorder sucks. That's all I'm saying...

You have my sympathies

[kennyc]

Originally Posted by ShortNCuddlyAm

You have my sympathies

Thank you. It's not me but someone I know....

I personally have minor bipolar - cyclothymia but nothing like the full-blown disorder.

[pdurrant]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

i'm lucky, my name doesn't seem to have any sort of contracted form.

"Zee"? "Zelly"?

[kazbates]

Originally Posted by pdurrant

"Zee"? "Zelly"?

Da(h)!

[pshrynk]

Zeldy.