Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 28

UncleDuke · 08-11-2009, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RWood

Then there is the story of the guy that was waiting for the Kindle software upgrade to turn his Kindle 2 into a Kindle DX.

the dx is just a kindle 2 on little blue pills

RWood · 08-26-2009, 11:28 AM

What do you call the person who graduates at the bottom of their class from medical school?

Doctor

Verencat · 08-31-2009, 09:11 PM

Just got this one, it made me giggle:

Quote:

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

Hello and thank you for calling The Mental Hospital.
Please select from the following options menu:

-If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
-If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
-If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
-If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
-If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
-If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell You which number to press.
-If you are manic-depressive, hang up. It doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
-If you are dyslexic, press 9-6-9-6.
-If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. But Please wait for the beep.
-If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
-If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
-If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
-If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.
-If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
-If you are blonde, don't press any buttons. You'll just mess it up.

This coming week is National Mental Health Care week.
You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.

Verencat · 08-31-2009, 09:12 PM

Another one:

Quote:

GUY SAYS TO HIS WIFE: "Darling, what would you do if I said I've won the lottery?"
Wife replies: "I'd take half then leave you."

Guy says: "Excellent! I had three numbers and won Ten Dollars. Here's five...now buzz-off!

Verencat · 08-31-2009, 09:13 PM

One last:

Who are you? · 08-31-2009, 10:31 PM

Stevie Wonder's friend gives him a cheese grater on his birthday. A while later the friend asks how he liked the gift. Says Stevie: "Man, that was the most violent book I've ever read!"

RWood · 09-08-2009, 12:08 AM

So a friend of VR's wants to steal VR's bone. Good luck.

RWood · 09-08-2009, 12:10 AM

A new dimension to drive up window usage

RWood · 09-08-2009, 12:11 AM

Cat feeding time

RWood · 09-08-2009, 12:13 AM

Piza for one (somebody finally understands how large a personal pizza should be)

RWood · 09-08-2009, 12:15 AM

The perfect dorm fridge

RWood · 09-08-2009, 12:17 AM

To serve and protect

RWood · 09-08-2009, 12:19 AM

Public transportation (rush hour)

Bilbo1967 · 09-08-2009, 08:50 AM

A scooter - the perfect transport for fowl!

pshrynk · 09-08-2009, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RWood

Cat feeding time

I actually used to do that with the cows and cats in the barn when I was a young'n!

08-31-2009, 09:13 PM	#410
Verencat Wizard Posts: 2,615 Karma: 96491 Join Date: May 2009 Location: Montreal, Qc Device: xxx	One last: Attached Thumbnails

09-08-2009, 12:08 AM	#412
RWood Technogeezer Posts: 7,233 Karma: 1601464 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Virginia, USA Device: Sony PRS-500	So a friend of VR's wants to steal VR's bone. Good luck. Attached Thumbnails

09-08-2009, 12:10 AM	#413
RWood Technogeezer Posts: 7,233 Karma: 1601464 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Virginia, USA Device: Sony PRS-500	A new dimension to drive up window usage Attached Thumbnails

09-08-2009, 12:11 AM	#414
RWood Technogeezer Posts: 7,233 Karma: 1601464 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Virginia, USA Device: Sony PRS-500	Cat feeding time Attached Thumbnails

09-08-2009, 12:13 AM	#415
RWood Technogeezer Posts: 7,233 Karma: 1601464 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Virginia, USA Device: Sony PRS-500	Piza for one (somebody finally understands how large a personal pizza should be) Attached Thumbnails

08-26-2009, 11:28 AM	#407
RWood Technogeezer Posts: 7,233 Karma: 1601464 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Virginia, USA Device: Sony PRS-500	What do you call the person who graduates at the bottom of their class from medical school? Doctor

08-31-2009, 10:31 PM	#411
Who are you? Groupie Posts: 184 Karma: 300001 Join Date: May 2009 Device: 505	Stevie Wonder's friend gives him a cheese grater on his birthday. A while later the friend asks how he liked the gift. Says Stevie: "Man, that was the most violent book I've ever read!"

09-08-2009, 12:15 AM	#416
RWood Technogeezer Posts: 7,233 Karma: 1601464 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Virginia, USA Device: Sony PRS-500	The perfect dorm fridge Attached Thumbnails

09-08-2009, 12:17 AM	#417
RWood Technogeezer Posts: 7,233 Karma: 1601464 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Virginia, USA Device: Sony PRS-500	To serve and protect Attached Thumbnails

09-08-2009, 12:19 AM	#418
RWood Technogeezer Posts: 7,233 Karma: 1601464 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Virginia, USA Device: Sony PRS-500	Public transportation (rush hour) Attached Thumbnails

09-08-2009, 08:50 AM	#419
Bilbo1967 Not scared! Posts: 13,424 Karma: 81011643 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Midlands, UK Device: Kindle Paperwhite 10, Huawei M5 10	A scooter - the perfect transport for fowl!

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