The Vent and Rant Thread

[Nate the great]

Originally Posted by nomesque

Might I respectfully request a nomination for 'most frothing at the mouth' trophy in this week's ranting awards?

Here's my open letter to my local public transport department

On a sale of 1 to 10, that was a Marc. Just so people won't have to go there to enjoy the rant:

Dear Queensland Rail,

May 1000 syphilitic, diarrhoeaic camels trample through your offices, dripping green pus and yellow poop over your pathetic paperwork. Or, worse, may you be consigned to an eternity of riding your own pathetic excuse for a public transport network. That’ll learn you! Or at least, it would if there were anything remotely capable of ‘learning’ in those empty spaces between your ears.

Yes, I am a tad disappointed in your service. It’s not the actual breakdowns. These things happen – even if it takes a klutzoid QR-approved contractor to break QR lines twice in as many weeks. But still, they happen. And most organisations of your type, recognising this simple fact, put Plans into place for dealing with possible issues. Like, cut power lines and live electrical wires falling on the track. Most organisations learn from experience and plan for fast-as-possible recovery. And hey, maybe I’m being unfair. Maybe there’s a Plan in your offices that says, “In case of service breakdown, dither. In case of major problems, organise buses, then stick head up arse”. Is there?

Let me be more specific. In the first incident two weeks ago, QR repeatedly assured me that a train would be along in 30-40 minutes. Three and a half hours after my train was due, I got to work. In the second incident less than a week later, to be fair, I didn’t stick around after I heard, “at least an hour delay” and “organising buses”. Fuck, I thought, QR would have trouble organising an arse-wiping. So I hitched a lift with a complete stranger. Yes, that’s right. I have more trust in a complete stranger than in QR to get me home unharmed. The third incident? Boy am I glad you asked. Last night I heard before leaving the office that the trains were out but buses had been organised. Right, I planned ahead (food, extra clothes, pillow). I arrived at Milton station at least an hour after the first warning went out. No signage informing potential passengers of a) any problem with the trains or b) where the hell to catch a rail bus. Sigh. So I went to what I considered the most likely location for a rail bus to turn up. Was I correct? No idea. A 470 came along and I leapt at the chance to get to Toowong, where I wouldn’t need signage to know where the rail buses would be (and no, there wasn’t any) and also had businesses open in case I needed to spend the night. I got to Toowong and lo and behold, found a rail bus. Eventually. Hopped on. We trundled along, stopping at Sherwood to ponder how the hell to get to Ipswich when the boom gates at Sherwood were stuck in the ‘down’ position. That small, completely unforeseeable (*cough*) problem eventually navigated, we trundled to Darra. Where we were informed that a train for Ipswich had just left. Dear God, what person in their right mind would expect QR to use the ‘connecting service’ concept for its rail buses??? With many cries of “You’re kidding me!” and “QR are a pack of incompetent dickheads!”, we sat down to wait. And wait. And… you guessed it, wait some more. The news that a train for us had just left Ipswich did not, believe it or not, fill us with joy or gratitude. Especially when the statement ’stopping at the platform over there to drop off passengers’ was mentioned. WHAT? You sent the effing thing all stations??? You utter, utter bastards. That surely takes incompetence into ‘malevolent’ territory. Let me summarise the rest of the misery by saying that three and a half hours after arriving at Milton station, I finally got home.

In closing, may I just reiterate how much I appreciate QR’s willingness to stick its collective head up its collective arse and scream, “I don’t see how it’s my fault!”? Not at all, that is. In fact, I’m a little fucking annoyed.

____________________

Dear Reader,
Feel free to copy this and post it on your own blog, website, newspaper article, email it to all your associates, whatever.

[zelda_pinwheel]

someone should probably dig up marc's original rant (about dymock's, if memory serves) so that nomesque will be able to fully appreciate the measure of your praise.

not me though, i'm going to bed any second now.

[zelda_pinwheel]

okay fine, i'm feeling magnanimous, here you go nomesque.

[nomesque]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

okay fine, i'm feeling magnanimous, here you go nomesque.

Wowsers. I am duly humbled by the comparison. Or elevated to dizzy heights of narcissism, depending on your definition of 'humbled'.

[kennyc]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

okay fine, i'm feeling magnanimous, here you go nomesque.

Uh......uh....yeah....

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by nomesque

Wowsers. I am duly humbled by the comparison. Or elevated to dizzy heights of narcissism, depending on your definition of 'humbled'.

i'm sincerely glad you appreciate it properly.

[Verencat]

Nomesque, that was just brilliant. Pure genius.

[Verencat]

Rant of the last 30 seconds: why the heck can't I PM or VM my dad?

Joke of the day: a machine made translation of The DaVinci Code. Even "Dan Brown" was translated to "Brun de Dan". Priceless.

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by nomesque

Wowsers. I am duly humbled by the comparison. Or elevated to dizzy heights of narcissism, depending on your definition of 'humbled'.

...and, right back at you, mate.

I think the phrase that pickled me tink the most was...

"In case of service breakdown, dither"

I think we've found the motto of most public transport departments in Australia.

Cheers,
Marc

[nomesque]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

...and, right back at you, mate.

I think the phrase that pickled me tink the most was...

"In case of service breakdown, dither"

I think we've found the motto of most public transport departments in Australia.

Yup Except in QLD, for some reason, all such dithering seems to be done over a few beers. XXXX beers, at that. So by the time anything's decided, even the decision is drunk.

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by nomesque

Yup Except in QLD, for some reason, all such dithering seems to be done over a few beers. XXXX beers, at that. So by the time anything's decided, even the decision is drunk.

I remember in NSW, they cut back on train cleaning staff, put signs up on the trains saying "Please take your rubbish with you and deposit in the bins provided", and then removed the "provided" bins from the stations (because if you have bins on stations, the terrorists win...or something). In a shocking turn of events, rubbish ended up everywhere on the trains and on the stations.

I don't know what beer they drank though. I don't drink beer, and don't notice such things, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't XXXX. It did make you want to drink Bundy and go beat someone up though.

Up here...well, I don't have a use for public transport - I can just walk to the beach.

Cheers,
Marc

[nomesque]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

I remember in NSW, they cut back on train cleaning staff, put signs up on the trains saying "Please take your rubbish with you and deposit in the bins provided", and then removed the "provided" bins from the stations (because if you have bins on stations, the terrorists win...or something). In a shocking turn of events, rubbish ended up everywhere on the trains and on the stations.

Yeah, that WAS an impressive one.

Originally Posted by montsnmags

I don't know what beer they drank though. I don't drink beer, and don't notice such things, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't XXXX. It did make you want to drink Bundy and go beat someone up though.

Last night I could've cheerfully skipped the Bundy and moved to the beating someone up stage. I'm still grumpy.

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Up here...well, I don't have a use for public transport - I can just walk to the beach.

Want a visitor? I'm snarky but surprisingly polite...

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by nomesque

...
Last night I could've cheerfully skipped the Bundy and moved to the beating someone up stage. I'm still grumpy.
...

It reminds me of the night one winter I had a flu and end up walking half the way home through the back alleys of Redfern because of train problems (or, rather, ridiculous-waits-and-overcrowding-on-the-replacement-buses problems). I was not a happy little chappy, and considered registering my disappointment with the Authority via my softball bat.

Want a visitor? I'm snarky but surprisingly polite...

Coincidentally, I'm polite, but surprisingly snarky.

Cheers,
Marc

[nomesque]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

It reminds me of the night one winter I had a flu and end up walking half the way home through the back alleys of Redfern because of train problems (or, rather, ridiculous-waits-and-overcrowding-on-the-replacement-buses problems). I was not a happy little chappy, and considered registering my disappointment with the Authority via my softball bat.

You're a braver man than I...

Come to think of it, more of a man, too, most probably

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Coincidentally, I'm polite, but surprisingly snarky.

I'll take that as a YES, you'd love me to visit! Friday week?

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by nomesque

You're a braver man than I...

Come to think of it, more of a man, too, most probably

To quote Patricia, "some of us remember the size of the snake in your conservatory, Marc".

[The problem with lines like that is that the propensity to state them is generally in inverse proportion to reality ]

I'll take that as a YES, you'd love me to visit! Friday week?

Only if you come by public transport.

Cheers,
Marc