R.I.P. The English Novel 1485 - 2009

Moejoe · 08-09-2009, 08:29 PM

Katie Price (Jordan) is a best-selling author!!

For those of you who aren't in the know (count yourself lucky) Jordan / Miss Price is a glamour model and reality TV star with zero brain cells and less charm than a bucket of pig swill.

Here is a picture of this loathsome creature at a book signing:

But, you may be asking yourself, so what? She's just another celebrity hawking her biography. Why so mad, Moejoe? Why so angry?

Because of this: http://www.randomhouse.co.uk/catalog...?authorID=5830

Her latest work of 'fiction' is no1 on the Sunday Times besteller list!!

R.I.P

The English Novel

Born: 1485 (Le Morte d'Arthur by Thomas Malory)

Died: Aug 2009 (Sapphire by Katie Price)

You will be missed.

phenomshel · 08-09-2009, 08:56 PM

I'm not familiar with the lady or her work, but I'd venture to guess, as is the case with most "celebrity" novels, that it's probably ghostwritten.

Moejoe · 08-09-2009, 09:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phenomshel

I'm not familiar with the lady or her work, but I'd venture to guess, as is the case with most "celebrity" novels, that it's probably ghostwritten.

And they wonder why we indie writers laugh at these corporate publishing houses and consider them part of the past

Bluesman7 · 08-09-2009, 09:59 PM

Looks like she's demonstrating what a dog thought of her book!

pholy · 08-09-2009, 10:02 PM

Quoting from her Wikipedia articlex:

Quote:

All four books were ghostwritten by Rebecca Farnworth.

and following the citation I find:

Quote:

(Katie Price thanks her ghost, Rebecca Farnworth, in the small print of her latest book, in the same paragraph in which she thanks her 'accountant, Ali and [her] bank manager, David', which seems appropriate enough).

So it not the

Quote:

Death of the Novel

, just the death of the Sunday Times Bestseller list as an indicator of quality. As she hasn't made the Globe&Mail Best Seller lists (the book will be released this Tuesday in Canada), perhaps the the English novel is still safe... Did anybody check The New York Times Best Seller lists? I mean, after all, England isn't the only place that English novels get written ... is it?

Moejoe, I do feel your pain - one of the articles claimed she was a

Quote:

singer

because her husband produced an album for her, and a whole bunch of people bought it. Arrgh!

Phil

Verencat · 08-09-2009, 10:06 PM

Does she have a fan club? If so, I'm signing up right now!

Moejoe · 08-09-2009, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pholy

Quoting from her Wikipedia articlex: and following the citation I find:

So it not the , just the death of the Sunday Times Bestseller list as an indicator of quality. As she hasn't made the Globe&Mail Best Seller lists (the book will be released this Tuesday in Canada), perhaps the the English novel is still safe... Did anybody check The New York Times Best Seller lists? I mean, after all, England isn't the only place that English novels get written ... is it?

Moejoe, I do feel your pain - one of the articles claimed she was a because her husband produced an album for her, and a whole bunch of people bought it. Arrgh!

Phil

I was just venting.

I put my heart and soul into writing, it's really important to me, as are readers, and this wazzock comes along and flashes her boobs, the next thing she's at the top of the best-seller list. It's so disheartening for anybody who loves the written word, of any language, and I wonder if this kind of crap happens anywhere else, or is it a particularly Anglo/American thing.

Verencat · 08-09-2009, 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moejoe

I was just venting.

I put my heart and soul into writing, it's really important to me, as are readers, and this wazzock comes along and flashes her boobs, the next thing she's at the top of the best-seller list. It's so disheartening for anybody who loves the written word, of any language, and I wonder if this kind of crap happens anywhere else, or is it a particularly Anglo/American thing.

I sincerely believe that flashing your boobs is the only honest way to make a living these days, that is why I'm doing it as much as I can!

(I'm kidding, of course, although...

)

Moejoe · 08-09-2009, 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Verencat

I sincerely believe that flashing your boobs is the only honest way to make a living these days, that is why I'm doing it as much as I can!

(I'm kidding, of course, although...

)

Must develop my man-boobs so that they are both awesome and terrifying at the same time.

There must be a freakshow around somewhere that would have me

Verencat · 08-09-2009, 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moejoe

Must develop my man-boobs so that they are both awesome and terrifying at the same time.

There must be a freakshow around somewhere that would have me

Let me call some friends...

RWood · 08-10-2009, 01:26 AM

Oh the shame, the shame of it all

I am covering my eyes but it is too late, I already have an image of Moejoe's man-boobs in my mind and it hurts. He does need a class in bra making. His push-up bra just doesn't look real.

On a more serious note ...

We have our share of celeb books on this side of the Atlantic, every politician running for a major office has at least two books. Some can even remember the title of their books, just don't ask them if they ever read them. The late President Kennedy won awards for his ghost written Profiles in Courage and our current President has published at least two books under his name.

One former President, Richard M. Nixon, did produce a great series of books explaining the dynamics of world politics. In the Arena is a great book by all standards that use to judge books.

nomesque · 08-10-2009, 01:31 AM

Eurgh. I understand your frustration.

On the bright side - I promise that whether or not I flash my boobs on international TV/YouTube, everything I write WILL actually be written by me. No ghostwriters. No 'help'. No team of hungry wannabes to 'fill out' my plot points.

Though I might utilise a push-up bra, sticky tape, and similar cheats

nomesque · 08-10-2009, 01:34 AM

PS. Moejoe, have you ever come across Puppetry of the Penis? There could be a YouTube publicity stunt just waiting for you to happen to it...

Sparrow · 08-10-2009, 01:56 AM

I think you overstimate Katie Price - if she is capable of single-handedly destroying the English novel, it can't have been too healthy to start with.

It's providing a real writer with a job, and encouraging people who wouldn't otherwise read to try a novel, so it can't be all bad.

HarryT · 08-10-2009, 03:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phenomshel

I'm not familiar with the lady or her work, but I'd venture to guess, as is the case with most "celebrity" novels, that it's probably ghostwritten.

She is famous for her enormous (fake) breasts. Used to be a "glamour model".

08-09-2009, 08:29 PM	#1
Moejoe Banned Posts: 5,100 Karma: 72193 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: South of the Border Device: Coffin	R.I.P. The English Novel 1485 - 2009 Katie Price (Jordan) is a best-selling author!! For those of you who aren't in the know (count yourself lucky) Jordan / Miss Price is a glamour model and reality TV star with zero brain cells and less charm than a bucket of pig swill. Here is a picture of this loathsome creature at a book signing: But, you may be asking yourself, so what? She's just another celebrity hawking her biography. Why so mad, Moejoe? Why so angry? Because of this: http://www.randomhouse.co.uk/catalog...?authorID=5830 Her latest work of 'fiction' is no1 on the Sunday Times besteller list!! R.I.P The English Novel Born: 1485 (Le Morte d'Arthur by Thomas Malory) Died: Aug 2009 (Sapphire by Katie Price) You will be missed.

08-09-2009, 09:59 PM	#4
Bluesman7 Book 'em Danno Posts: 156 Karma: 180 Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Blue Ridge Mtns, NC Device: Kindle 2	Looks like she's demonstrating what a dog thought of her book! Last edited by Bluesman7; 08-09-2009 at 11:09 PM.

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08-09-2009, 08:56 PM	#2
phenomshel ZCD BombShel Posts: 4,793 Karma: 8293322 Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: The Frozen North (aka Illinois, USA) Device: iPad, STB Kindle Oasis	I'm not familiar with the lady or her work, but I'd venture to guess, as is the case with most "celebrity" novels, that it's probably ghostwritten.

08-09-2009, 10:06 PM	#6
Verencat Wizard Posts: 2,615 Karma: 96491 Join Date: May 2009 Location: Montreal, Qc Device: xxx	Does she have a fan club? If so, I'm signing up right now!

08-10-2009, 01:26 AM	#11
RWood Technogeezer Posts: 7,233 Karma: 1601464 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Virginia, USA Device: Sony PRS-500	Oh the shame, the shame of it all I am covering my eyes but it is too late, I already have an image of Moejoe's man-boobs in my mind and it hurts. He does need a class in bra making. His push-up bra just doesn't look real. On a more serious note ... We have our share of celeb books on this side of the Atlantic, every politician running for a major office has at least two books. Some can even remember the title of their books, just don't ask them if they ever read them. The late President Kennedy won awards for his ghost written Profiles in Courage and our current President has published at least two books under his name. One former President, Richard M. Nixon, did produce a great series of books explaining the dynamics of world politics. In the Arena is a great book by all standards that use to judge books.

08-10-2009, 01:31 AM	#12
nomesque Snooty Bestselling Author Posts: 1,485 Karma: 1000000 Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Ipswich, QLD, Australia Device: PRS-650	Eurgh. I understand your frustration. On the bright side - I promise that whether or not I flash my boobs on international TV/YouTube, everything I write WILL actually be written by me. No ghostwriters. No 'help'. No team of hungry wannabes to 'fill out' my plot points. Though I might utilise a push-up bra, sticky tape, and similar cheats

08-10-2009, 01:34 AM	#13
nomesque Snooty Bestselling Author Posts: 1,485 Karma: 1000000 Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Ipswich, QLD, Australia Device: PRS-650	PS. Moejoe, have you ever come across Puppetry of the Penis? There could be a YouTube publicity stunt just waiting for you to happen to it...

08-10-2009, 01:56 AM	#14
Sparrow Wizard Posts: 4,395 Karma: 1358132 Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: UK Device: Palm TX, CyBook Gen3	I think you overstimate Katie Price - if she is capable of single-handedly destroying the English novel, it can't have been too healthy to start with. It's providing a real writer with a job, and encouraging people who wouldn't otherwise read to try a novel, so it can't be all bad.