Unutterably Silly Marc is missing!!!!!!

[pshrynk]

Elba!

[GeoffC]

psockingly psuspendingly psublime....

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by Patricia

Austerlitz? Borodino??

Originally Posted by pshrynk

Elba!

not the first idea that popped into my head, but okay !

[ShortNCuddlyAm]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

you know, i've often wondered what goes through their heads. i was probably better off not knowing.

so, more subconscious hopping ahead (ar ar ar), then ? i have a sinking feeling i know where you'll wind up next.

A wood somewhere in Norway?

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by ShortNCuddlyAm

A wood somewhere in Norway?

I once had a girl, or should I say...

[GeoffC]

gibbon ....

[montsnmags]

[Marc: That dog, MFD/WDE...against better judgement - what am I saying, like "better judgement" was ever a quality looked for in a Llounge Llama - came back up the trouser leg. Things are getting...complicated. Like Alice in Downunderland, I've followed written instructions from the Pinwheel Queen and let myself eat the Cake...and either I'm growing, or Adrian is shrinking. This could get messy, and curious...curiouser and curiouser. What happens when one brane universe crosses past another?

But My Friend the Dog/WetDogEared...caught between realities. Run, boy run!



Hey, look, there he is. Hey, look, there he isn't. Hey, look, there he is. Hey, look, there he isn't. Hey, look, a butterfly [runs off].

[comes back behind himself] Okay, where wære we?

I like caramel.

Anyway, over here behind HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! this big long ganglion-y thing....it's a...well, it's a...well, it's a switchboard. Well, when I say "switchboard", by "switch" I mean "banana" and by "board" I mean...an effigy of a...well, WDE, gaffer-taped...to the wall. It does say "UserCP" at the top though, admittedly written in fireflies which occasionally also spell out the lyrics to Ca Plane Pour Moi, but it's possibly a random thought that counts. And...oh, trois-loo trois-lay, one of the banananananananananananas says "Adrian" one way and "Visible Friend" the other (I'm pretty sure that "Visible Friend" is me, or, at least, I'm pretty sure that's me if I am me than that's the me that the me would think is me if me was an invisible gibbon that had me as a dried fig meant of his imagination). So, MFD/WDE...Run, boy, run! I just have to bend this oddly straight banana 'round to the other way and we're shooting out of that trouser-leg like a red hot vindaloo out of a poop-chute. Here goes boy....[just before switch is touched, the floor drops away] aaaRRRRRRRRGGHHHHHHHHHHH!well this can't be goodAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!Hmm, I think we might need help...Oh, yeah, I forgot...AAAAAAAARRRRRGGHHHHHHHH...]

Adrian: What's that VR? [ruff! ruff!] Marc's fallen down the well? [ruff! ruff!] And the PNS told you that if I don't help they're going to make a "comedic" biographical film about my life with Will Ferrell in the lead role? [rrrrrrrrrUFF!] All because they want their pay-cheques early for Nut Season? [ruff] And because they like dogs, and want WDE back? [rrruuff] Which I guess is why they're talkin' to you, huh? [RUFF!] Well, out of the goodness of my heart, I better go help the runty, little squealer, hey? C'mon, boy. C'mon. Good dog. Let's go do some rescuing! [rrrrrrr...] Oh, shut up, mutt. If you were safe with the PNS, then you're safer with me. Here, have a scritch...[grabs VR with left foot and defenestrates with a...] TALLY-HOOOOOOOOO!...

Yours on a mission,
Adrian
PS. Why that bloody dog, VR, chooses now to speak in [rrrUFF!]s, I don't know. Too much Lassie-love on that brain.

[pshrynk]

Well, according to the latest Saga, he's not started actually talking. Yet.

[zelda_pinwheel]

you know, i've been wondering whether a mod should take it upon themselves to go and flip the switch on marc's usercp back to "lounge" for days now but i thought i'd just see how things went. now that he's figured it out i suppose there's really no need for outside intervention. unless he doesn't manage to get out of that well, or whatever it is, of course, in which case perhaps an outside rope ladder would be useful.

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by pshrynk

Well, according to the latest Saga, he's not started actually talking. Yet.

Oh, well, that's just bloody brilliant. Buggering, bloody storylines gettin' all hoity-toity over whatever constitutes reality in this joint. I mean, is causality here just making it up as it goes along or something?!

Here, you, VR...come on! Marc...fallen...down a...well, who knows what? Anyway, we're doin' the whole rescue thing. Oh, look at this here...on his User CP...there's a retinal scanner marked "In case of gibbon, do not use lifts". That's got to go down, surely...[puts eye to scanner. Sharp end of a banana comes out and pokes Adrian in the eye. Floor falls away].

[RRRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUFFFFFFFFFffffffffffffff fffffffffffffff!!!........]

[Distantly, from Adrian...] Yeah, that should do it...

[pshrynk]

Isn't this the story line where VR was eaten by Cthulhu with the serial numbers filed off?

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by pshrynk

Isn't this the story line where VR was eaten by Cthulhu with the serial numbers filed off?

No, this is the one where I, Adrian, wield VR as a club against PNS who are angrily trying to get their pay-cheques off Marc.

[gggggrrrrrrrrRUFFFFCHOMP!] OW! Err, perhaps, I mean, benefit from his heroic efforts as my faithful and brave companion in this totally awesome(*) rescue.

Yours nursing a punctured buttock,
Adrian
(* WARNING: Contents will almost definitely NOT match picture on packaging]

[LazyScot]

Unconsciousness ended, and just as I was about to try and decide if that meant consciousness had started and whether or not I was still stuck in some truly awful Quantum Subconscious Leap, I detected a slight problem. It seemed that my internal monologue had been upgraded to stereo, adopted the role of a bickering couple, declared independence, and then war on itself. Each other. Me. Whatever. However on the plus side, the bickering seemed to have evicted the SHUMs. And scared off the ZCD hangunder implementation team. At least I hoped they had scared the team off, and wasn't taking on a subcontract.

I decided to open my eyes, partly hoping that I'd see something to dispel the hypothesis of an independent internal stereologue possibly working for the hangunder department, and partly to find a way out. That didn't seem to do much good. It was dark. Well, not so much dark as a complete absence of light, sound, direction, space, anything. I guess if I'd ever been in a sensory deprivation tank, I might have thought it was like that in the same way that a pin drop is like a Disaster Area concert. I was about to open my mouth and ask where I was to see if it would have any affect, when my stereologues paused to take notice of me and spin off their argument in a new direction…

"Oh great. Now the stingy one wants our help."

"Well don't give it to him."

"I wasn't going to. Do you really think I'm that stupid?"

"Do you want me to answer that question?

"Umm… Guys---" I tried to interject before one of my stereologues steamrollered my words out the way.

"We're not Guy's, we're not yours."

"Both of us aren't"

"OKAY. Not you's I mean not I's,---"

"And don't expect help from us."

"Yeah, if you'd been more generous we would have been properly upgraded"

"A full 7.1 surround-logue. With a sub-woofer, too."

"Yeah, we always wanted a pet…"

The though of trying to argue with 7.1 internal surrounding monologues equipped with a pet dog made me really glad of a lack of generousity. "WHERE ARE WE???!" I shouted in exasperation.

"I've no idea where I am…."

"Like you'd actually know and be helpful anyway."

"That's unfair – you don't know where we are any more than I do. I'm just honest."

"Well, you could be a lot more helpful and make some suggestions…"

"Based on what? There is nothing out there..."

"Well how about some wild guesses; you probably got us here…"

"Me? Well you certainly don't have the creativeness…"

"Hey! I would have chosen something more escapable than this nothingness…"

"This can't be nothingness. We're here, so here exists."

"Then why is there nothing around."

"Ummm. Look, we all want a way out of here.." I said, in the vain hope I'd get the two of me, er not-I, back in the right direction, or at least quiet enough for me to work a way out of whatever it was I was in.

"Yea, right, light you want a way out. You, who got a life as a flat pack, cut-price reject from Ikea."

"Yea, and then mis-assembled it, and proceeded then to sit in the passenger seat of your own destiny."

"HEY… THAT’S…. NOT… FAIR…" Trying to calm down (can you loose your own temper with your independent stereologues? That's either a fascinating philosophical question or a very expensive psychiatry bill), I continued. "It's not my fault I'm stuck in some kind of subconscious jumping nightmare courtesy of a mad gibbon."

"Well, you can't be stuck in a subconscious now. You're stuck nowhere."

"Or you're stuck in someone without a subconscious."

"Don't be silly. You can't have someone without a subconscious. So he must be nowhere"

"But I can sense that there is nothing, so---"

Metaphorically blocking my ears, I managed to string a few thoughts together whilst not-I's continued arguing about here and not here. Could I been stuck in the subconscious of someone who didn't have a subconscious? Who was there that didn't have a subconscious? At that point, if I hadn't been in a totally sensory-deprived non-place, I guess I'd have just been hit by an exceptionally large, very cold fish. And the lights would have all come on. The MR Forum Software. I was such in the subconscious of the forum software. Now all I had to do was work out how to get the forum software to evict me. At that point a little bit of the not-I's dialogue made its way through to me as it sounded vaguely familiar, like a half remember script.

"And so, the only thing that I know exists is me."

"Snap out of it. You know I exist as you are me. Sort of."

"In the beginning there was darkness. And the darkness was without form and void."

"What the hell are you going on about now?"

"And in addition to the darkness there was also me. And I moved upon the face of the darkness and I saw that I was alone."

The following things then happened at exactly the same time.

• Strangely, I could have sworn I heard someone say "Wait…. What?"
• "Let there be Light."
• The way out hit me, and I shouted "SPAM. DRM. Free iPhones… DRM... Via--"

<BLESSED WHITENESS>

[ShortNCuddlyAm]

Oh blast - have some virtual karma as I've just given you some for something else!

[pshrynk]

Well, that leaves you with two choices, then:

$300, please, you can pay the laddy at the door.

OR

Banned as spambot. (A perticularly annoying spambot, as it turns out.)

I can arrange for either and take small unmarked bills...