Do you like kids?

[Verencat]

Happy to finally know exactly how you look like!

[Sparrow]

Originally Posted by HarryT

One can reasonably assume, Sparrow, that anything said on these forums is the author's personal viewpoint .

Yes, fair point.
But don't you sometimes think a little acknowledgement that other views may differ (esp. on 'controversial' topics) would grease the wheels of discourse?

[ruth1304]

My sister is 12 years younger than me so I knew what it was like to be around small children. I was amazed when I heard my friends talking about having children when we were in our early twenties - most of them had never held a baby let alone changed a nappy. When trying to explain how I felt about children the best I could come up with was "I love them, but you can't switch them off."

I had a lot of experiences with my sister that my friends have had with their children. I remember saying something to her and realising I sounded just like my mum, and it certainly helped me to understand my parents better. I also remember when she wouldn't stop screaming one day (she must have been two or three at the time) I reached my limits and screamed back, at which point she stopped, looking extremely surprised. I also learnt that however horrible she was, and however many times she said "I hate you" I couldn't say it back. No matter what she did, how irritated or frustrated I got, I loved her.

It's wonderful now because we swap books, visit each other and she's old enough to give me lifts. I don't think I gave her too many scars (although I have one or two embarrassing photos). I wouldn't rule out having children of my own, but I don't feel it's something I must do, and I know that not only would children change my life, there would be a lot of work, patience and responsibility involved as well as all the good things. I admire most parents, because what they're doing isn't easy and most children aren't bad, it's just that everyone notices the naughty/noisy ones!

[Stitchawl]

How many of us parents will admit that they had children because 'it was expected' that they would, or that they just 'went along with the idea of their spouse?'

Stitchawl

[HarryT]

Originally Posted by Sparrow

Yes, fair point.
But don't you sometimes think a little acknowledgement that other views may differ (esp. on 'controversial' topics) would grease the wheels of discourse?

Let me elaborate then, Sparrow. I know that many people will probably throw up their hands in horror, but I am firmly in favour of judiciously-applied corporal punishment. When we were in school, if we gave teachers any "lip" it was a ruler across the palm of the hands (and that hurt); most kids very quickly learned politeness as a result. When I see the local "yobs" hanging around the village where I live today, giving cheek to everyone, and with absolutely no respect for anyone, I am utterly convinced that a few good "canings" earlier in life would have made them far more polite and better-mannered teenagers than they are.

Since, however, I do not have any children, those with contrary opinions can rest easy in the knowledge that my views are purely theoretical, and I do not put them into practice.

[GeoffC]

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

How many of us parents will admit that they had children because 'it was expected' that they would, or that they just 'went along with the idea of their spouse?'

Stitchawl

we had ours because we both wanted to have them .....

[HarryT]

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

How many of us parents will admit that they had children because 'it was expected' that they would, or that they just 'went along with the idea of their spouse?'

Stitchawl

I believe that Storks are involved in the process somewhere, aren't they?

[GeoffC]

...and gooseberry bushes ....

[yvanleterrible]

Originally Posted by GeoffC

we had ours because we both wanted to have them .....

So did we. The first time we met the subject came up and we both said six! Many years later when I asked her what had happened to that dream she replyed "Having two was painful enough for a lifetime!"

[kazbates]

Originally Posted by ruth1304

My sister is 12 years younger than me so I knew what it was like to be around small children. I was amazed when I heard my friends talking about having children when we were in our early twenties - most of them had never held a baby let alone changed a nappy. When trying to explain how I felt about children the best I could come up with was "I love them, but you can't switch them off."

I had a lot of experiences with my sister that my friends have had with their children. I remember saying something to her and realising I sounded just like my mum, and it certainly helped me to understand my parents better. I also remember when she wouldn't stop screaming one day (she must have been two or three at the time) I reached my limits and screamed back, at which point she stopped, looking extremely surprised. I also learnt that however horrible she was, and however many times she said "I hate you" I couldn't say it back. No matter what she did, how irritated or frustrated I got, I loved her.

It's wonderful now because we swap books, visit each other and she's old enough to give me lifts. I don't think I gave her too many scars (although I have one or two embarrassing photos). I wouldn't rule out having children of my own, but I don't feel it's something I must do, and I know that not only would children change my life, there would be a lot of work, patience and responsibility involved as well as all the good things. I admire most parents, because what they're doing isn't easy and most children aren't bad, it's just that everyone notices the naughty/noisy ones!

When we decided to have children, I knew I would raise my children much differently than how my parents raised me. As time went by, I realized that my parents did the best that they could and that they actually did a pretty good job of raising us all. Raising my own children gave me a better understanding and a more sympathetic view of my parents. Although, when I am fussing with my 22 year old daughter and she wants to put me in my place, she will say, "You sound just like Grandma!" It usually stops me in my tracks! Sometimes being like my mother is a good thing and sometimes it's a bad thing. It just depends on the situation.

Originally Posted by HarryT

Let me elaborate then, Sparrow. I know that many people will probably throw up their hands in horror, but I am firmly in favour of judiciously-applied corporal punishment. When we were in school, if we gave teachers any "lip" it was a ruler across the palm of the hands (and that hurt); most kids very quickly learned politeness as a result. When I see the local "yobs" hanging around the village where I live today, giving cheek to everyone, and with absolutely no respect for anyone, I am utterly convinced that a few good "canings" earlier in life would have made them far more polite and better-mannered teenagers than they are.

Since, however, I do not have any children, those with contrary opinions can rest easy in the knowledge that my views are purely theoretical, and I do not put them into practice.

As a teacher, I don't believe in corporal punishment. I had my knuckles rapped a time or two and only learned to resent the rapper. However, the pendulum has swung so far the other way that teachers have very little disciplinary recourse. We are not supposed to embarrass the student in any way and can only take away 1/2 of their recess. You can't assign additional work or keep a child after school. If we send notes home or call a parent, more often then not, the parent blames the teacher for lacking understanding of their child. Parents make excuses for their child's behaviour. When I misbehaved in school (and I did), there were consequences when I got home and those consequences were not pleasant.

I use positive reinforcement in my classroom, children earn rewards for good behaviour. It works for the majority of students, but there are a few who would probably respond better with more negative consequences, but the bottom line is that teachers need more support from parents.

[krisk]

Originally Posted by HarryT

Let me elaborate then, Sparrow. I know that many people will probably throw up their hands in horror, but I am firmly in favour of judiciously-applied corporal punishment. When we were in school, if we gave teachers any "lip" it was a ruler across the palm of the hands (and that hurt); most kids very quickly learned politeness as a result. When I see the local "yobs" hanging around the village where I live today, giving cheek to everyone, and with absolutely no respect for anyone, I am utterly convinced that a few good "canings" earlier in life would have made them far more polite and better-mannered teenagers than they are.

Since, however, I do not have any children, those with contrary opinions can rest easy in the knowledge that my views are purely theoretical, and I do not put them into practice.

I have to wholeheaartedly agree. when I was growing up it was right on the edge of the end of corporal punishment in school. some schools did and some did not. it was also the end of parents rights. back in the day you were terrified of getting in trouble at school because the words; "wait until your father gets home!!!" had teeth and reprecussions! we now have kids that run rampant over both the schools and their parents. parents are now the ones terrified... of the schools, child welfare, and the "authorities".

an example;
when my son was about 10 or 11, the flu or some sort of yuck hammered him at school and he felt horrible. he slunk down in his seat and muttered "just kill me now", which was a fairly common Army type of statement when you felt like hell. a fever, aches and pains had just crept up on him from nowhere, and he used a phrase he was used to hearing at home when we felt like hell. sure enough the teacher notified the authorities who jumped on their mangy steeds and confronted my husband and me when we got home from work. when it was explained that the boy just felt bad, and that was how he had expressed it, then they continued to tilt at their battered windmills and tell us that him being even used to using that type of terminology indicated a shameful disregard for human life and he certainly was showing a prediliction for becoming a horrific criminal.

[rlparker]

Originally Posted by columbus

What it's all about

Actually, the Hokey-Pokey is what it's all about.

Originally Posted by rebarnmom

I love 'em, especially my one & only. I treat her friends like an extension of our family! I wish I could have more! Maybe if this old barn were done, we'd have plenty of room to adopt! Hopefully I won't be too old by then!

My wife and I weren't sure we wanted to have children; we'd been married several years when we changed our minds. So, having started late, it only worked out that we had one, even though we tried (a lot ) to have others. I'm overjoyed now that we changed our minds because our daughter is a fine person and a gift to us both. Now that I know how much I like being a dad--I sometimes wish we'd started earlier and had several more. (Then at other times, of course, I feel like we can just barely manage to get by one more day as it is ).

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

When a kid is a screamer it's because the parent is a screamer...

Couldn't agree more. It all goes back to the parents and the care that they take doing their parenting job--which I think is the most important job there is.

[Daithi]

I love kids -- but in moderation.

The funny thing is that now that my kids aren't so little anymore I wish I'd spent more time with them, and I very much cherish the time I did spend with them. Now I feel lucky when they spend a little time with me -- for some reason they prefer the company of girls.

[GlennD]

Originally Posted by HarryT

Let me elaborate then, Sparrow. I know that many people will probably throw up their hands in horror, but I am firmly in favour of judiciously-applied corporal punishment. When we were in school, if we gave teachers any "lip" it was a ruler across the palm of the hands (and that hurt); most kids very quickly learned politeness as a result.

I'm in favor of corporal punishment, but I would be less than thrilled to have someone other than a parent administer it to my child. I know my own kids and what types of punishment each responds to (my oldest just got more defiant when spanked, her younger sister became very fearful when spanked) and I wouldn't expect a teacher to be able to learn that about every child in their class. I also feel strongly that my kids don't get spanked unless they know it's coming - they've been warned clearly that the consequence of repeating an action will be a spanking. I also learned early as a parent never to spank in anger - it needs to be a measured consequence not an impassioned reaction.

Originally Posted by HarryT

When I see the local "yobs" hanging around the village where I live today, giving cheek to everyone, and with absolutely no respect for anyone, I am utterly convinced that a few good "canings" earlier in life would have made them far more polite and better-mannered teenagers than they are.

A few years ago an American teenager was caned in Singapore because he sprayed graffiti on a car. While it is arguable that the punishment was too severe (which I tend to agree with based on the idea that he probably didn't know the consequence of his action...and I attribute that to parental failure) it is also true that they don't have graffiti problems in Singapore like we do in the US. If harsher punishments mean less crime to punish that seems like a fair tradeoff to me.

[krisk]

I often wonder what would happen if we brought back something like the Stocks and public humiliation and disgrace