Who pays after the first date if both make about the same money? - Page 3

Moejoe · 06-09-2009, 01:13 AM

Whoever can afford to pay.

phenomshel · 06-09-2009, 01:36 AM

It's been so long I can't remember.
Chris and I never "dated". And now we're married, so the "date money" comes out of the shared account. Not that we get to date now, either....we both work second shift (3 - 11 p.m.) so the only times we go out are on the weekend closest to our anniversary and the weekend closest to our birthdays. Our birthdays are three days apart, so we usually celebrate jointly.

Andybaby · 06-09-2009, 02:39 AM

between me and my girlfriend it rotates. but if its really expensive, I pay, then for the next 2 weeks she buys me little things. its not something we talk about. we have a unspoken system and it just works. when I pay a big bill she gets all, Ill make it up to you. and it more ways than one.

but for the first date, If reasonable price. man should pay.
here is my system. if the date costs more than a single days pay. then it should be split.

Sweetpea · 06-09-2009, 06:32 AM

Well, as I'm Dutch, I vote for the splitting evenly. (That's what's "going Dutch" means, right?)

But it actually would depend. If it's a romantic date, it's usually the one man that pays. If it's a get-together of friends, it's usually split between all people.

montsnmags · 06-09-2009, 08:12 AM

In my world, the man always pays, no exceptions.

Cheers,
Marc

Sparrow · 06-09-2009, 08:28 AM

There should be an option to pay for your own meal.

Nothing less romantic than agreeing to go halves, and then sit there watching her munch her way through a selection of the most expensive dishes on the menu.
(Time to visit the loo and not go back. )

slayda · 06-09-2009, 08:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by desertgrandma

Are you youngsters STILL arguing about this?

I remember the same discussions back in the 70's......

Personally, if a man invites me out for a meal, he can pay.

(and for my husband, too!

)

Can we just bring "Take out" back for husband?

zelda_pinwheel · 06-09-2009, 08:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sparrow

There should be an option to pay for your own meal.

Nothing less romantic than agreeing to go halves, and then sit there watching her munch her way through a selection of the most expensive dishes on the menu.
(Time to visit the loo and not go back. )

actually that is something that drives me crazy about going to a restaurant with a group, not really on a date. i don't eat very much, and since i'm a vegetarian there usually are not many choices for me. then you have some starving footballer type who orders an entrée and an expensive dish and dessert and a cheese plate. at the end when you get the check someone invariably says "shall we just split it evenly among us ?" and i end up paying three times more than i ate.

as for the specific question... i don't have a policy. usually taking turns is good, or each paying their own part. but i also like the idea that whoever invites, pays. i've never really thought about it... i always offer to pay my part unless it's a case of someone taking me out for my birthday or similar, but if the man says "no no, let me," i usually let him with an appreciative smile.

Alphapheemail · 06-09-2009, 09:28 AM

has any one been on second life? I don't know much about it, but it's pretty much like real life. I wonder how dating works there...

HarryT · 06-09-2009, 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

actually that is something that drives me crazy about going to a restaurant with a group, not really on a date. i don't eat very much, and since i'm a vegetarian there usually are not many choices for me. then you have some starving footballer type who orders an entrée and an expensive dish and dessert and a cheese plate. at the end when you get the check someone invariably says "shall we just split it evenly among us ?" and i end up paying three times more than i ate.

Possible confusion for our American friends here.

In Europe, an "entrée" is a starter, apetizer, whatever you want to call it. In the US, curiously, the word means the "main course". I've been on European coach tours with Americans where this has caused vast confusion

.

Alphapheemail · 06-09-2009, 09:40 AM

I did some quick websurfing... and it seems nothing of the ordinary online dating stuff only you can take your chat/im's to places...

Actual places to go

As fro my question about the money, this is all i found doing a quick search. It's 100 dollars for a wedding (all out), so I guess its safe to say that a date can be the equivalent to 1 dollar or so.

Quote:

Wedding Bells
This could not have been more true for Britain’s Farrant and Roden. After they had virtual sex, a
steamy phone conversation and a Web cam chat, they decided their avatars, Ruby and Ravan,
should become engaged. They planned “the ultimate Second Life wedding” with the help of wedding
planner Pentium McKenzie and her company, Wedding Bells, Farrant said. The wedding cost
35,000 Linden dollars (about $100 at the time), which Farrant paid with direct transfers from his bank
account to the suppliers.
Joyce Bettencourt owns a virtual cathedral in Second life for such momentous occasions and her
avatar, Rhiannon Chatnoir, acts as a wedding impresario. “Some people have weddings in Second
Life because they were unable to have the pomp and circumstance wedding in real life,” Bettencourt
said. She makes about 1,000 Linden dollars per wedding, or $3.
Farrant said he and his virtual bride had “all the bits and pieces as a real wedding.” Ruby wore a
wedding dress and had her hair done. Ravan picked out a new outfit and had a best man. Nearly a
dozen guests attended the wedding in the gothic cathedral.
Not long after this virtual celebration, Farrant made the trip to meet Roden in person at her real
home in Wales. He ended up staying for nearly two weeks. Then he returned to Essex, sorted out
the details of his life, and drove right back to Roden with a van packed with his belongings.
Ten months have passed since they moved in together, and they’re still going strong as a couple in
both the real and virtual worlds. They still log into Second Life, but with much less frequency than
when their courtship began. Together they’ve purchased a virtual island, Utopia, where Ravan’s
building a nightclub and Ruby’s building another house.
“We’re in love more now than when we first met,” Farrant said, “and I thought that’s as good as it
got.”
Soon, Farrant plans to ask Roden to marry him. For them fantasy and reality have become one and
the same.

Original source

I know im off topic slightly...

Alphapheemail · 06-09-2009, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HarryT

Possible confusion for our American friends here.

In Europe, an "entrée" is a starter, apetizer, whatever you want to call it. In the US, curiously, the word means the "main course". I've been on European coach tours with Americans where this has caused vast confusion

.

This always confused me, even though i am American. It always seemed so backwards to call the main dish, an entree.

HarryT · 06-09-2009, 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alphapheemail

This always confused me, even though i am American. It always seemed so backwards to call the main dish, an entree.

It caused me certain difficulties when I first visited America. You can imagine the scene:

Waiter: And what would sir like to start with?
Me: I'll have the soup.
Waiter: And for the entrée?
Me: I just said, I'll have the soup.
Waiter: No, the ENTREE!
Me: Are you deaf, man! The soup!

zelda_pinwheel · 06-09-2009, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HarryT

Possible confusion for our American friends here.

In Europe, an "entrée" is a starter, apetizer, whatever you want to call it. In the US, curiously, the word means the "main course". I've been on European coach tours with Americans where this has caused vast confusion

.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alphapheemail

This always confused me, even though i am American. It always seemed so backwards to call the main dish, an entree.

yes, it seems so to me too ! "entrée" means "entrance" because it's the entrance to the meal, the opener. it makes no sense to call the main dish the "entrance", especially if you had something to eat already ! (actually i usually skip the entrée in a restaurant, because the main dish is usually plenty to make me full. but even so, it's the dish, not the entrée !)

Quote:

Originally Posted by HarryT

It caused me certain difficulties when I first visited America. You can imagine the scene:

Waiter: And what would sir like to start with?
Me: I'll have the soup.
Waiter: And for the entrée?
Me: I just said, I'll have the soup.
Waiter: No, the ENTREE!
Me: Are you deaf, man! The soup!

crazy americans...

DixieGal · 06-09-2009, 05:21 PM

I couldn't date until I was 16. (Sneaking out at 15 to meet my boyfriend at the skating rink doesn't count, right?) Anyhow, her hard and fast rule was: Pay for your own meal/movie/entertainment so that you are not obligated. And always have money to call for a taxi.

I expanded it to: Let's take my car. I've left more than 1 drunken boy in a shopping center parking lot! Well, 2 is more than 1, but "more than 1" sounds more dramatic.

View Poll Results: Who pays after the first date if both make about the same money?
The man pays for all dates.	19	22.89%
Whoever asks for the date pays.	37	44.58%
The man and woman split the tab evenly.	19	22.89%
The woman pays less than half the bill (such as paying for the tip).	6	7.23%
The woman pays for all dates.	2	2.41%
Voters: 83. You may not vote on this poll

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06-09-2009, 01:13 AM	#31
Moejoe Banned Posts: 5,100 Karma: 72193 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: South of the Border Device: Coffin	Whoever can afford to pay.

06-09-2009, 01:36 AM	#32
phenomshel ZCD BombShel Posts: 4,793 Karma: 8293322 Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: The Frozen North (aka Illinois, USA) Device: iPad, STB Kindle Oasis	It's been so long I can't remember. Chris and I never "dated". And now we're married, so the "date money" comes out of the shared account. Not that we get to date now, either....we both work second shift (3 - 11 p.m.) so the only times we go out are on the weekend closest to our anniversary and the weekend closest to our birthdays. Our birthdays are three days apart, so we usually celebrate jointly.

06-09-2009, 02:39 AM	#33
Andybaby Wizard Posts: 1,279 Karma: 1002683 Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: New York Device: PRS-700	between me and my girlfriend it rotates. but if its really expensive, I pay, then for the next 2 weeks she buys me little things. its not something we talk about. we have a unspoken system and it just works. when I pay a big bill she gets all, Ill make it up to you. and it more ways than one. but for the first date, If reasonable price. man should pay. here is my system. if the date costs more than a single days pay. then it should be split.

06-09-2009, 06:32 AM	#34
Sweetpea Grand Sorcerer Posts: 9,707 Karma: 32763414 Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Krewerd Device: Pocketbook Inkpad 4 Color; Samsung Galaxy Tab S6	Well, as I'm Dutch, I vote for the splitting evenly. (That's what's "going Dutch" means, right?) But it actually would depend. If it's a romantic date, it's usually the one man that pays. If it's a get-together of friends, it's usually split between all people.

06-09-2009, 08:12 AM	#35
montsnmags Grand Sorcerer Posts: 10,155 Karma: 4632658 Join Date: Nov 2007 Device: none	In my world, the man always pays, no exceptions. Cheers, Marc

06-09-2009, 08:28 AM	#36
Sparrow Wizard Posts: 4,395 Karma: 1358132 Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: UK Device: Palm TX, CyBook Gen3	There should be an option to pay for your own meal. Nothing less romantic than agreeing to go halves, and then sit there watching her munch her way through a selection of the most expensive dishes on the menu. (Time to visit the loo and not go back. )

06-09-2009, 09:28 AM	#39
Alphapheemail .a ribbon around a bomb. Posts: 639 Karma: 4334 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: sigh... ny Device: PRS700	has any one been on second life? I don't know much about it, but it's pretty much like real life. I wonder how dating works there...

06-09-2009, 05:21 PM	#45
DixieGal Hi There! Posts: 7,473 Karma: 2930523 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Ft Lauderdale Device: iPad	I couldn't date until I was 16. (Sneaking out at 15 to meet my boyfriend at the skating rink doesn't count, right?) Anyhow, her hard and fast rule was: Pay for your own meal/movie/entertainment so that you are not obligated. And always have money to call for a taxi. I expanded it to: Let's take my car. I've left more than 1 drunken boy in a shopping center parking lot! Well, 2 is more than 1, but "more than 1" sounds more dramatic.