Silliness Terrible Jokes - Page 58

Fbone · 04-20-2026, 01:37 AM

Shouldn’t tank tops offer more protection?

ownedbycats · 04-20-2026, 11:40 AM

My personal trainer said he eats five big meals and trains six days a week. I have no idea how he eats that many trains.

DNSB · 04-20-2026, 01:57 PM

Why did the Klingon change his hair colour?

Because it was a good day to dye.

ownedbycats · 04-20-2026, 07:32 PM

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ownedbycats · 04-23-2026, 05:16 PM

I replaced my vacuum cleaner. The new one really sucks.

(based on true story. The thing that holds dirt shattered and sent dust everywhere. I used new one to clean the mess.)

DNSB · 04-23-2026, 06:34 PM

Why can't Buddhists vacuum under the couch? They have no attachments.

Have you named your new vacuum yet? Optimus Grime? Dust Vader? The Grime Reaper?

DNSB · 04-26-2026, 01:53 PM

The dumbest person you know is being told "You're absolutely right" by ChatGPT.

JSWolf · 04-26-2026, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ownedbycats

I replaced my vacuum cleaner. The new one really sucks.

(based on true story. The thing that holds dirt shattered and sent dust everywhere. I used new one to clean the mess.)

It sounds like your old vacuum cleaner sucked and blowed.

DNSB · 04-26-2026, 04:53 PM

I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know Y.

ownedbycats · 04-27-2026, 02:32 PM

Explosion at the health potion factory! Zero injuries.

DNSB · 04-27-2026, 07:55 PM

After a long conversation, my wife and I have decided that we won’t vaccinate our kids. We think a doctor would do a way better job.

DNSB · 04-29-2026, 03:54 PM

I before E

Except after c and when your weird foreign neighbors Keith and Heidi seize their eight counterfeit heifer sleighs from feisty caffeinated weightlifters of average height in a heist.

PeterT · 04-29-2026, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DNSB

I before E

Except after c and when your weird foreign neighbors Keith and Heidi seize their eight counterfeit heifer sleighs from feisty caffeinated weightlifters of average height in a heist.

Nothing like sending me down a rabbit hole! Wiki gives me

Quote:

i before e,
Except after c,
Or when sounded as "a",
As in neighbor and weigh
But seizure and seize do what they please.

DNSB · 04-29-2026, 11:23 PM

The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that the English language is as pure as a crib-house whore. It not only borrows words from other languages; it has on occasion chased other languages down dark alley-ways, clubbed them unconscious and rifled their pockets for new vocabulary.

JSWolf · 04-30-2026, 07:46 AM

There is no one English. It started from the English in use in the UK way back when. Then every place evolved their own version from there. Good examples are the US, CA, AU, and UK.

04-23-2026, 05:16 PM	#860
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,800 Karma: 83105959 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	I replaced my vacuum cleaner. The new one really sucks. (based on true story. The thing that holds dirt shattered and sent dust everywhere. I used new one to clean the mess.) Last edited by ownedbycats; 04-23-2026 at 05:19 PM.

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04-20-2026, 01:37 AM	#856
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ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,800 Karma: 83105959 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD

04-23-2026, 06:34 PM	#861
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 51,958 Karma: 180003020 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Why can't Buddhists vacuum under the couch? They have no attachments. Have you named your new vacuum yet? Optimus Grime? Dust Vader? The Grime Reaper?

04-26-2026, 01:53 PM	#862
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 51,958 Karma: 180003020 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	The dumbest person you know is being told "You're absolutely right" by ChatGPT.

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DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 51,958 Karma: 180003020 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know Y.

04-27-2026, 02:32 PM	#865
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,800 Karma: 83105959 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	Explosion at the health potion factory! Zero injuries.

04-27-2026, 07:55 PM	#866
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 51,958 Karma: 180003020 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	After a long conversation, my wife and I have decided that we won’t vaccinate our kids. We think a doctor would do a way better job.

04-29-2026, 03:54 PM	#867
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 51,958 Karma: 180003020 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	I before E Except after c and when your weird foreign neighbors Keith and Heidi seize their eight counterfeit heifer sleighs from feisty caffeinated weightlifters of average height in a heist.

04-29-2026, 11:23 PM	#869
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 51,958 Karma: 180003020 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that the English language is as pure as a crib-house whore. It not only borrows words from other languages; it has on occasion chased other languages down dark alley-ways, clubbed them unconscious and rifled their pockets for new vocabulary.

04-30-2026, 07:46 AM	#870
JSWolf Resident Curmudgeon Posts: 83,504 Karma: 153646249 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Roslindale, Massachusetts Device: Kobo Libra 2, Kobo Aura H2O, PRS-650, PRS-T1, nook STR, PW3	There is no one English. It started from the English in use in the UK way back when. Then every place evolved their own version from there. Good examples are the US, CA, AU, and UK.